I hear from a lot of pastors, and their complaints are often the same: a staff member or volunteer that isn’t fully bought into the vision or bought into the team. Team members who are off doing their own thing instead of the job the team is doing. Backbiting, gossip, half-heartedness about the mission and where things are going.
All of this comes back to loyalty.
The reality is though; everyone shouldn’t be on your team.
Some people are a good fit for a season but don’t belong on your team forever (whether you realize that or they do), some think they should work at a church when they shouldn’t, and sometimes out of frustration or weariness, pastors think of quitting their teams.
What many leaders fail to realize is that loyalty, camaraderie is not built quickly and it isn’t built around the mission of the church as much as it is built around relationships.
A few years ago, we were interviewing a pastor to join our team, and after interacting with our staff and elders I asked him for his thoughts, and his first response surprised me. He said, “Each of those people would run through a wall for you.”
The reason that surprised me is that I’m not naturally a relational leader. It is something I have had to work at and create systems to make it happen.
But he was right. It also dawned on me; I would run through a wall for them. And they knew that.
As I reflected on that, I realized there were some things I did to create that.
1. Be loyal to your team. It’s sad that this is on the list, but I think this is one reason pastors fail to have loyalty on their team and it is because they aren’t loyal to the people on their team.
This took me a while to figure out.
Leaders expect people to follow, bosses expect people to do what they’re told, so they don’t spend a lot of time thinking about loyalty or being loyal to those people.
Some of this comes from past hurts, broken trust or not expecting people to stay, which is a big one in the church world.
2. Explain what you mean by loyalty. Leaders and churches are always throwing around words thinking everyone thinks the same thing. Churches are notorious for this, especially when they say, “Church is a family,” but everyone has a different definition of that.
Same goes with loyalty.
When you say loyalty, what does that mean?
For our team it means: always make everyone on the team look good, have each other’s backs and don’t surprise anyone.
In public (and private) make the other team members look good. Meaning, don’t put them down, don’t gossip, don’t say, “I knew that wouldn’t work.” Have their backs.
And don’t surprise them. I tell my team, if you surprise me, I can’t help you. If something is going wrong, don’t wait, tell me. Let me help you get in front of it.
3. Invest in their life. This is still one of my most significant growth areas but is crucial for loyalty. This is how people feel valued by you as the leader.
How’s their life going? Personal goals? How’s their marriage and parenting? Do you have things you can be praying for them about that aren’t related to their work?
I now spend the first part of my one-on-one times with my team checking in on their lives.
4. Invest in their leadership. Are they growing as a leader because they are on your team? Many staff members in churches would say no to that question, and that is a problem.
Invest in them through books, podcasts, blog posts. Take them to training events that you attend. Pay for coaching and conferences for them to grow as leaders and in their craft. Expose them to new ways of thinking, new ways of doing things. Encourage them to seek out growth opportunities.
5. Give them gifts of thanks and affirmation. When was the last time you said thanks to a team member for something? Or gave them a gift?
This goes a long way to building loyalty on your team and showing care for them.
This is similar to the love languages, but know what affirms them, and what makes them feel appreciated.
Steve Stroope says that each of us is motivated by ten things: Money, private thanks, public thanks, more responsibility, input, access, empowerment, significance, knowledge, and tools.
The problem for many leaders is they don’t know what motivates their team or they think everyone is motivated the same way or they think what drives them as a leader is what motivates their whole team.
You should what motivates each of your team members from the list above. Each one is valid and vital. Unfortunately, in the church world is motivated by money is seen as a bad thing, but it doesn’t have to be.
Loyalty, when done correctly not only strengthens the church but is a benefit to everyone on the team. It shows the value of each person and how God has wired them and makes them want to show up for work!
