Tuesday Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • This past Sunday at Revolution was one of those days that pastors love.
  • It was a topic that has so much relevance to people, challenges people and is helpful.
  • How to forgive.
  • If you missed it or want to hear it again, you can watch it here.
  • For me, it was very timely.
  • Sunday morning I got a nasty anonymous comment on my blog that was really painful.
  • So walking onto the stage to preach about forgiveness with that hanging over me was hard but also a reminder of God’s grace to me.
  • I’ve been forgiven for things that are so much worse than someone lashing out at me on my blog.
  • I’m thankful for the RC leaders and elders at Revolution who pray with me and over me on Sunday mornings.
  • Especially this past Sunday.
  • Pastors, remember this: when someone lashes out at you in an email, a blog comment, conversation, a tweet, they are hurting and they don’t know how to process that hurt. Don’t take it personally.
  • It has way more to do with them, not you.
  • Easier said than done, but possible.
  • Last week was awesome for me, Katie went and got a tattoo.
  • It turned out amazing.
  • I love the imagery behind it and the story it represents in her life.
  • It was a lot of fun too.
  • We’re in the middle of a busy season of family coming into town.
  • Over the next 7 weeks, we have 5 weeks of family either coming to see us or Katie and I traveling.
  • Lots happening!
  • I’m preaching on politics this Sunday as part of our series in Romans.
  • It should be a lot of fun.
  • These books have been really helpful to me while I’ve prepped: Onward: Engaging the Culture without Losing the Gospel and Jesus Outside the Lines: A Way Forward for Those Who Are Tired of Taking Sides.
  • You might not agree with everything in them, but they’ll at least make you think.
  • Which isn’t always a bad thing for a Christian to do.
  • I’m probably taking one of our sons to see the U of A homecoming football game on Saturday.
  • I’m hoping it’s at least close.
  • We started sharing about our Christmas offering and some of the ideas we’re doing this year as part of our series Being Rich in What Matters Most. 
  • I think it’s going to be a challenging series for our church.
  • I love the idea of people in our church sharing God’s love on a daily basis for 30 days in December.
  • My hope is that it is the start of a simple, daily habit.
  • Don’t forget that Halloween is next week.
  • Great opportunity to engage your neighbors and meet them and share the love of Jesus with them.
  • Well, back at it.
  • Have a great week!

5 Emotional Intelligence Hacks That Can Immediately Improve Your Leadership & 6 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend

leader

Each Friday I share some posts that I’ve come across in the last week. They range in topics and sources but they are all things I’ve found interesting or helpful that I hope will be interesting and helpful to you. Here are 7 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father:

  1. 5 Emotional Intelligence Hacks That Can Immediately Improve Your Leadership by Carey Nieuwhof
  2. 10 Things I Wish I Could Say as a Pastor by Chuck Lawless
  3. 4 Misleading Ways to Measure Church Health…And a Guide That Can Help by Tony Morgan
  4. 10 Myths of About Being A Visionary Leader by Paul Sohn
  5. 5 Ways Ministry Has Changed in 20 Years by Ron Edmondson
  6. The Best 5 Books on Preaching
  7. 6 Pastoral Tips for Non-Pastoral Types by Rich Birch

10 Characteristics Of Churches That Grow & 7 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend

leader

Each Friday I share some posts that I’ve come across in the last week. They range in topics and sources but they are all things I’ve found interesting or helpful that I hope will be interesting and helpful to you. Here are 8 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father:

  1. 4 Things Leaders Should Be Thinking But Many Aren’t by Brian Dodd
  2. Epidemic: On The Creeping Hollow Within a Pastor’s Soul by Carey Neiuwhof
  3. 8 Reasons Pastoral Tenure Matters by Chuck Lawless
  4. Why More People Don’t Meet Jesus At Your Church by Paul Alexander
  5. 10 Characteristics Of Churches That Grow by Brandon Kelley
  6. Why Senior Pastors Should Quit Social Media (or, what Cal Newport can teach us about sermon writing) by Brian Jones
  7. How the Enneagram Can Help You Become a Better Leader by Michael Hyatt
  8. 4 Common Church Staff Issues by Shawn Lovejoy

11 Ways to Know You’ve Settled for a Mediocre Marriage & the Other Top Posts from the Last Month

posts

If you are new to my blog, welcome. Be sure to subscribe to the right so you don’t miss anything. If you’ve been around awhile, thanks for sticking with me and reading on a regular basis.

In case you missed them, here are the 10 most read posts of the last month to help you as a parent, spouse, leader and pastor:

  1. 11 Ways to Know You’ve Settled for a Mediocre Marriage
  2. How to Build a Team
  3. Being a Pastor’s Wife: What Role a Pastor’s Wife Plays in the Church
  4. The Five Stages of Discipleship
  5. How to Invite Someone to Church
  6. 18 Things Every Husband Should Know about His Wife
  7. Objections to Predestination
  8. 6 Reasons Why Being on Time Matters
  9. 10 Books Every Christian Leader Should Read
  10. 5 Systems Every Church Needs

Monday Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Some days after preaching you have this high that you can’t explain.
  • Some days, you feel like you trudged through the mud of a passage and came out on the other side only to see the next verse waiting for you.
  • Today, I feel like the second one.
  • If you missed yesterday on “Do good people go to heaven?” you can listen to it here.
  • Romans 1 – 3 is an amazing set of verses that sets up the amazing truths that await in the rest of Romans, but they are hard passage to preach through.
  • Grateful for a church that wants to know what the whole bible says and sit under hard passages like ones on God’s wrath and judgment.
  • Those are humbling topics.
  • Got to celebrate with someone who kept inviting someone who finally came.
  • There’s nothing better than hearing someone say, “I have prayed and asked for years and they’re coming today.”
  • It’s a reminder that every Sunday is someone’s first Sunday. 
  • Since moving to our new location I feel like we have been doing a lot of work behind the scenes of our church to strengthen our discipleship and leadership development systems.
  • Right now, our staff is working through the leadership pipeline material from lifeway.
  • Such solid stuff.
  • Can’t wait to roll this out across all our ministries this year and how it will help people move on a path to use their gifts and talents.
  • Started reading You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit by James K.A. Smith.
  • The book is not at all what I thought it would be about.
  • Not sure if that’s ever happened to you.
  • But I’m loving it despite that.
  • So there you go.
  • Took our kids to the fair last week.
  • Spent too much money on rides but made a ton of memories.
  • Went to see Zootopia with our kids and 4 of their friends yesterday, so yes, we took 9 kids to the movies.
  • Got some funny looks.
  • All in all, a good movie. Always interesting processing with our kids the messages of a movie and it was interesting the timeliness of the zootopia message about being anything you want to be as it relates to our culture.
  • I’m predicting some fun conversations at dinner tonight about it.
  • If you’re like me, you are excited about the NFL draft this Thursday.
  • If you’re not, you just found out the NFL draft starts on Thursday.
  • I love watching the draft.
  • Yes, I’m that guy.
  • I’ll be on a plane Thursday night so I’m hoping the airplane wifi is better than the usual airplane wifi.
  • Got a lot to do today.
  • Tons of follow up.
  • Back at it…

How to Think of Blog Posts

blog posts

I always get asked, “Where do you get your ideas for blog posts?”

Blog posts like sermon ideas, article or book ideas are everywhere. They are in conversations, quotes, questions, your devotions and prayer time.

Here are a few places I find them:

  1. A question I have or someone else has. My opinion has always been, if one person has a question, others have the same question.
  2. Conversations after a sermon or in a missional community. 
  3. Book quotes. This is a great way to get a blog post. When a book or  quote makes you think of something, write it down. Many of my posts start that way.
  4. Other blog posts. Maybe you read something that makes you want to respond because you disagree, or you think you could write it better. Go through you old posts from time to time to see if you’d update something or if you can write something that is more helpful.

If none of those work, try these ideas from Ready to Be a Thought Leader?: How to Increase Your Influence, Impact, and Successat the end of the day or each week, could you set aside fifteen minutes to write down the highlights of what happened? What were the painful moments, the funny experiences, or the most challenging decisions you made? Here are a few more questions: What have I learned from this experience? What did I do well? What could I have done differently? Is there a universal lesson here that others could apply?

If you put these into practice, you will always have ideas for sermons, blog posts and books.

14 Top Posts of 2014

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In the month of December, I’ve been sharing my favorites of the year. You can read my favorite books of the year here.

Below are the 14 most read posts of 2014:

14. 10 Ways to Know if You’re Putting Your Kids Before Your Spouse

No one gets married thinking they will put their kids before their marriage, but over time without being intentional, it happens. It’s easy to do. Kids need our attention, they scream for it (literally). We also rationalize that it’s easier and the right thing to do. Or, we rationalize that we will have time for our spouse later in life, but later in life rarely comes.

13. Sometimes When People Leave Your Church, that is God protecting You

Whenever someone has left our church, no matter how much it hurt me personally, God has always shown himself faithful and allowed our church not to skip a beat. In fact, each time a volunteer or staff member has left, our church was stronger after they left and by God’s grace, we could take the next step.My point is, when people leave, sometimes it is for their good, your good and the good of the church because it is God protecting you.

12. 5 Things Productive People do in the Morning

Productivity is something everyone would like to raise in their life. To accomplish more is a goal most people have. Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reading on time management, productivity, cutting things out of your life and how to step your game up. It seems like productive people accomplish more than everyone else and it isn’t because their life is easier or they have more hours in the day. They do specific things that everyone does not do.

11. Surviving a Hard Season in Your Marriage

If you are in a hard season that simply means you are married. Too many couples look at a hard season and want to throw in the towel, don’t. Your marriage means too much, the ripple affects to how your marriage goes are enormous. Don’t believe me? Talk to a friend who grew up in a broken home and ask them how that has impacted their life. Fight for your marriage.

10. 10 Books Every Christian Leader Should Read

I often get asked about leadership books that pastors should read. If you haven’t read these books, I highly recommend them. Let’s just say, these are 10 books every Christian leader should read.

9. The Pain of Breaking the 200 Barrier

Most churches in America never break through the 200 barrier, in fact, only 15% of churches break through it. Some pastors talk about it like it is the mythical unicorn. There are books, podcasts, webinars, and articles on how to break it. For years, Revolution would bump up against the 200 barrier and then go back down. We’d have seasons where we would stay above it and I thought we were through. Finally, we broke through it.

8. Dear Worship Leader

I love worship leaders. I love that at Revolution, almost half the service is music. I want you to be great. If you don’t serve with a pastor that wants you to be as great as possible, go find a new pastor to work with. The people who show up each week show up wanting to meet Jesus and you are a big part of that. You help us encounter Jesus in a personal, emotional and logical way. I want you to be great and I don’t want anything to stand in the way of you being the worship leader God called you to be.

7. How a Wife Flourishes

The idea of roles in marriage is filled with land mines. Many people have misused and misinterpreted the beautiful verses in the Bible to make them say what they want to. Few people have actually seen healthy couples live out roles well and often have incorrect views of Biblical roles. We have visions of quiet wives who say nothing, men who dominate and abuse their families all based on Ephesians 5, completely missing the point of this passage. In thinking about how a husband helps his wife flourish and become all that God has called her to be, here are 5 ways men often fail and how to work against these problems to create the picture described in Ephesians 5.

6. The One Thing Destroying Your Marriage That You Don’t Realize

On a regular basis I will hear from a parent, “My child is disrespectful to me or to my spouse and I don’t know what to do about it.” Or I’ll hear this from someone, “I can’t seem to connect with my spouse. We don’t connect sexually. We don’t connect emotionally or relationally.” What is going on? I’m about to pull my hair out. I don’t know what to do. Your kids reaction to you is a mirror of how they see you react to your spouse.

5. How Your Church can Reach Men

I was recently asked to join a team that helps to put events on for men in Arizona. I started to ask around about the organization because truth be told, I thought it was interesting since Revolution doesn’t have a men’s or women’s ministry. Essentially, we see our church as those. I asked someone who knew them well what he thought of this organization and he said, “Their meetings are a bunch of talk about ideas, what they’ll do but in the end, no action.” I looked at him and said, “So, like a men’s ministry.”

4. Vague Pastors

When you don’t preach on something, you are preaching on that thing. You are just saying what you think won’t be as controversial or the thing that won’t lose you your following.

3. 11 Ways to Know You’ve Settled for a Mediocre Marriage

It is so sad when I meet a couple that is unhappy. Whether it is stress, finances, kids, in-laws or sin, too many couples simply settle for a mediocre marriage. They carry around this look that says, “I’m not happy, but this is as good as it will get.” I’m sorry, but if I’m going to be in a relationship for the rest of my life, I want it to be better than a sigh followed by, “this is as good as it will get.”

2. Pastors Can Make the Worst Friends

For most pastors, church is something they are always thinking about. The next capital campaign, new ministry year, next sermon series, next issue, hiring a new person. It never stops. They spend all their time with people talking about church. They sit with their wife on date night and talk about church. It is not just a job, it is their life. It is who they are and this becomes unhealthy.

1. Thoughts from a White Dad of a Black Son on Ferguson

One of my sons is black. I will raise two kinds of boys to become men. Three of them white and they will see the world, be treated by the world and interact with the world one way. Then, another son who will see it differently, interact with it differently and be treated by it differently. Three of them will walk around with little fear of violence or being arrested. They will walk around as young adults and not fear police officers. One of my sons will.

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My Favorite Things of 2014

book

As most bloggers do at the end of the year, they share their favorite lists of the year. Some of these will not make any sense if you don’t live in Tucson and for that I apologize, but if you don’t live here, this might give you a reason to visit. I thought I’d take a quick minute to share some of my favorite movies, albums, podcasts, blogs and places to eat and more from 2014.

Enjoy!

Movies

  1. Lone Survivor
  2. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
  3. Chef
  4. Edge of Tomorrow
  5. The Monuments Men

Albums

  1. Past Life | Lost in the Tress
  2. Islands | Bears Den
  3. After the Disco | Broken Bells
  4. No One Is Lost | Stars
  5. Evergreen | Broods

Date Night Spots

  1. Expensive: 47 Scott
  2. Less Expensive: Pasco Kitchen & Lounge
  3. Happy Hour Deals: Zinburger

Ministry/Leadership Blogs

  1. Carey Nieuwhof
  2. Unseminary
  3. Brian Howard
  4. Will Mancini

Sports Blogs

  1. ProFootballTalk
  2. Bleacher Report
  3. Grantland

Podcasts

  1. Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast
  2. Carey Nieuwhof

Coffee

  1. Black Dog from Macy’s Coffee
  2. Mocha at Cartel
  3. El Salvador from Savaya Coffee

TV Shows

  1. The Good Wife
  2. Brooklyn 99
  3. The Blacklist
  4. Parenthood
  5. PTI

Books (You can see my list of 14 favorite books of the year here)

  1. The Relational Soul: Moving from False Self to Deep Connection Richard Blass & James Cofield
  2. Facing Leviathan: Leadership, Influence, and Creating in a Cultural Storm Mark Sayers
  3. People-Pleasing Pastors: Avoiding the Pitfalls of Approval-Motivated Leadership Charles Stone

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14 Favorite Books of 2014

books

It’s that time of year again, time to share my top lists of the year. If you are a regular on this blog, you know that I love to read. You can read my recent reviews of books here.

Each year, I post a list of my favorite books of the year. To see my list of favorite books from past year, simply click on the numbers: 2009201020112012 and 2013. To me, I love this list because it shows what has influenced me in the past year, where I’m growing and what God is teaching me. If you are a leader, you should be a reader, there is no way around that.

To make this list, it does not have to be published in 2014, I only needed to read it in 2014. As always, this list was hard to narrow down, but here are the top 14 books of 2014:

14. What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done | Matthew Perman

What sets this book apart from others on productivity: Its emphasis on understanding how the gospel impacts productivity, How the gospel frees us to be productive, and it also brings together some of the best ideas from other books on productivity to show a better system that combines the strengths of different systems.

13. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know | Meg Meeker

To me, this is such an empowering book for fathers. We often feel unsure, at a loss of how to relate to our daughters, how to treat them differently than a son, or how to feel like we are moving forward in a relationship with them. This book is about what a daughter needs from a father that a mother cannot give. This book gave me such a clear understanding of how to interact with our daughter, how to build a relationship with her and prepare her for the life ahead of her. I can’t recommend this book highly enough to Dad’s of daughters.

12. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds Carmine Gallo

Giving a presentation that truly moves people takes hard work. Let’s face it, many pastors are lazy. They become a pastor because it seems easier, they read a lot and most people don’t have a high expectation for a sermon to be great (sadly). They are simply hoping for short. Preaching is hard work. If you aren’t willing to put in the hard work, don’t preach. At the end of the day, someone pays a price for a sermon, the pastor or the church. This is the best preaching book of the year.

11 The Catalyst Leader: 8 Essentials for Becoming a Change Maker | Brad Lomenick

One of the things I’ve been chewing on from this book all year has been, “To get to the top and to be successful at the top requires two different skill sets.” Such a helpful book for younger leaders.

10. Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration | Ed Catmull

This book was so good and eye opening, it took me 3 posts to share all that I learned from it. You can read those posts here, here and here.

9. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less Greg McKeown

Two things stood out to me in this book that have shaped a lot of my life: If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will and If it is not a definite yes, then it is no.

8. Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God Timothy Keller

I debated between this book and Keller’s book on suffering for this list. Both were helpful and meaningful in different ways, but his book on prayer opened my eyes on how to pray to God as Father and how to meditate on Scripture in deeper ways. If prayer is a struggle for you, this book is well worth working through.

7. The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers | Ben Horowitz

Even though this is not a church planting book, it is by far, the best church planting book of the year. So many insights from this small business guru that is relevant for churches and church plants.

6. Kingdom Conspiracy: Returning to the Radical Mission of the Local Church | Scot McKnight

This book challenged me in some ways I didn’t expect. How to read the Bible through the lens of Jesus was one and how to see how God worked through all of history instead of jumping from Genesis 3 to Matthew 1 when we read the Bible. The other was, seeing Jesus as King when I think about him. This may seem obvious depending on your church background, but I appreciate the emphasis that McKnight places on Jesus as King. My church background seems to focus on Jesus as Savior and Redeemer, which He is and leave the King part until the end of the world. Yet, Jesus is King, now and forever.

5. Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You | John Ortberg

If you love what Dallas Willard has to say but have a hard time understanding what he says, this is a great book. I found myself challenged, encouraged and challenged some more. It is a mix of how to care for your soul, how to rest and ultimately, how to connect with God at a deeper level.

4. Hacking Leadership: The 11 Gaps Every Business Needs to Close and the Secrets to Closing Them Quickly Mike Myatt

This was the most relevant and helpful business leadership book that pastors should read this year. Myatt covers the gaps that exist in any business (church) and how to overcome them. This is a leadership book that I will re-read in years to come. I found it that helpful.

3. People-Pleasing Pastors: Avoiding the Pitfalls of Approval-Motivated Leadership Charles Stone

This book is unlike any other I’ve read. First, it hits a topic that every pastor or leader (and probably most humans) struggle with: people pleasing. This is an enormous deal for pastors and churches. Second, it combines stories and real life examples with a ton of helpful research on how our brains work and what drives leaders to care what others think. Third, it ends with some incredibly helpful insights to fight people pleasing in your leadership.

2. Facing Leviathan: Leadership, Influence, and Creating in a Cultural Storm Mark Sayers

The point of the book of the book is to show how leadership has changed, how culture has changed and what leadership looks like moving forward. I am thankful as Sayers points out, we are moving away from deconstruction in our leadership and culture and moving towards rebuilding. I’m hopeful Christians get this idea as many leaders seem to be behind the times and keep talking about deconstructing.

1. The Relational Soul: Moving from False Self to Deep Connection Richard Blass & James Cofield

I’ve read maybe 3-4 life altering books. This was one of them. The authors walk through why we fail at relationships so often and show how that begins the before we are even born, but then our inability to deal with what our lives have been like and how to move forward. Many people cannot work well with others, can’t engage in their family or marriage, struggle to make work connections and all because of something in their past that has not been deal with. This isn’t to say that it is easy, only that, to live in true freedom and be our “true self” as the authors put it, we must deal with those things.

Building a platform means that people follow your updates, listen to your words, respect and trust you, and yes, consider buying whatever it is you’re selling. But they will only do that if they like you – and the way you get readers to like you is by legitimately helping them. Answer their questions. Give them stuff for free. Share sources of good, helpful information. Make them laugh and smile. Do what they cannot: gather information or share entertainment value. Access people and places they want to learn more about. Help them achieve their goals. Enrich their lives. After they have seen the value you provide, they will want to stay in contact with you so they can receive more information. They will begin to trust your content – and become a follower. And the more followers you have, the bigger you platform becomes.