Posted on Thursday, October 27, 2022

Classes, Groups & Spiritual Growth

by Josh Reich

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

One thing every church wrestles with is how to help people grow and mature in their faith. Every church and every follower of Jesus has different ideas about how this should happen. Some of that is based on personality, learning style, and what worked best for us.

Every pastor has sat in a meeting where someone says, “We should do a class on that.”

Now, are classes wrong? No.

Should every church have classes in addition to groups? Maybe.

How do people grow spiritually?

Here are some questions you should walk through to figure that out for your church. Right now, our team is working through these:

What is missing from our groups or church right now that classes will provide? Groups don’t do everything, so things are missing with just being in a group. But we need to identify what those things are.

What is the goal of classes? What will they do that nothing else can do (including sermons, personal bible reading, study, groups, etc.)? Are classes the only way to accomplish these goals as a church? Churches are good at doing things we’ve done in the past, or other churches do without asking why we’re doing them.

Classes serve an essential purpose within the life of our churches, but too often, we aren’t sure what they are supposed to accomplish, and when that happens, they miss the mark.

How do classes help someone grow in their faith to maturity? Classes make people more intelligent and give them more bible knowledge but don’t always make them mature followers of Jesus. We need to be clear on what classes do for spiritual growth and not oversell them in our minds, which is easy.

7 questions every pastor and church must answer.

Who is asking for classes? Are they mature followers of Jesus who should be leading? Are new believers trying to take their first steps of faith? The person asking helps us to see what is missing and what classes should or shouldn’t be on. And just because someone thinks they need a class doesn’t mean they need a class. I have paid people to help me with nutrition and workout plans, and often they don’t give me what I want or think I need because I usually don’t know what I need but what I want, and those things aren’t always the same.

How does the New Testament instruct us on discipling people? Did they use classes, one-on-one, groups, mentoring, or a combination?

Many of us do not fully understand how people grew in the New Testament and how that should shape the life of our churches today.

What is the rhythm of classes? Are we doing them as a one-off to meet a specific need, or will they become a regular rhythm in our church? This is important to identify before you begin something because it makes it easier to stop or pivot without hurting the feelings of those who are excited about classes.

The last question that I think you need to work through is possibly the most important, and hopefully, as a church, you already have an answer for it.

Here it is:

One question every church must answer.

What do you believe a healthy, mature follower of Jesus does and is? This question should shape every ministry you do, every program you create, and every outreach you attempt should be aimed towards this, along with all your sermons and resources.

Too many churches do not have a clear answer to this, which shows their ministries’ confusion and what they are shooting for.

The most important question for every church to answer.

Now, for my soapbox.

Most of the people, not all, who ask for classes in a church are church people who want more knowledge when the reality is, those people are ready to lead and disciple others, but they’d rather stay comfortable and take in more bible stuff. Hands down, the best growth anyone can have as a follower of Jesus is disciplining someone, not sitting in a class. More spiritual growth will happen from having conversations with someone who is not yet a follower of Jesus than any class will ever give a person, but a class is more accessible.

7 questions to help your church grow spiritually.

Posted on Monday, October 24, 2022

The Seasons of Life and Family

by Josh Reich

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

Life is full of seasons.

We see this in the seasons of childhood and school, the seasons we walk through each decade, and the seasons of our careers.

I’ve always gravitated toward the year’s seasons and how they reflect our seasons of life.

Here’s what I mean:

Winter is the season of hibernation and resting, holding steady. It is also the season of sadness, sickness, and loneliness. There are seasons in life and family of sorrow, illness, and loneliness. Seasons of resting and clearing the calendar to sit by the fire. Winter is also the season of preparation because you aren’t doing other activities.

While it can feel like nothing is happening in winter, many things are happening in winter.

Spring is the season of new beginnings and opportunities, the season of hope. Life is blooming. This season can feel like a shotgun went off. Like it is all of a sudden busy. Everything is happening at once. This season can start with a new job, opportunity, or school year. I remember a farmer telling me once that to have a great fall; you have to jump on the opportunity in spring and work harder than you think.

Summer is the season of growth, enjoyment, and fun. Summer is the season of life when you begin to see the payoff for some of what you did in life. In the summer, you also need to be pruning your life to live effectively and at a sustainable pace. In farming, you are weeding, protecting what matters to you. Summer can also be the time you are tempted to sit back, but if you do, that’s when you can lose your crop.

Fall is the harvest season. We reap all that we have sown in the fall. Fall is when you see the results of what you did and either celebrate or lament. Fall is the season of change; the leaves change, and the weather gets colder. Fall is also the time that you prepare for winter. You winterize your house and pipes. The same is true in life and relationships. You need to prepare for winter.

Which season are you in personally? What about your spouse and each one of your kids?

Do you know which season of life you are in? The answer matters a great deal.

This is because if we don’t know which season we are in, we will be unprepared for the next season. We will also miss the blessings that each season brings.

Winter brings the blessings of slower times, sitting by the fire and relaxing, doing a puzzle, and being together with family and friends.

Spring brings the blessings of warmer days, walking outside, and beginning gardens and new rhythms.

Summer brings the blessings of longer days, picnics and beach days with friends and family, and vacations from school and work.

Fall brings the blessings of a new school year, new adventures, and cooler temperatures.

Each season has its blessings, but it also has its challenges.

Each season of life has its own blessings, but it also has its own challenges.

Winter brings the challenges of sadness and loneliness. The days are shorter, and the nights are longer.

Spring brings the challenges of busyness and feeling behind.

Summer brings the challenges of a new schedule that can throw your life into chaos.

Fall brings the challenges of being behind the eight ball and not being prepared.

Each season of marriage has its own blessings, but it also has its own challenges.

Posted on Monday, October 17, 2022

One Thing Pastors Overlook in Preaching

by Josh Reich

Photo by Kevin Gonzalez on Unsplash

Recently a younger pastor asked me, “What do pastors miss or overlook when they preach that hurts them?”

It’s a great question. Like all things you overlook in life, you often don’t know it, and the things you don’t know can hurt you.

What pastors miss in preaching.

To answer this question, you must first have a clear goal for your preaching. You can see what I think the goal is here, but to sum it up in one word, I would say transformation. It is not knowledge, more bible information, a running commentary, or even some good tips and advice. It is life change, the transformation of our hearts.

Most pastors would say the same thing when asked, but the way we preach would give a different answer. When you dig into sermons, you will see the running commentary, political ideas, and a push for deeper knowledge. Deeper knowledge isn’t bad, but knowing more about God and the bible doesn’t make someone a follower of Jesus (James 2:19).

The goal of preaching is life change, transformation.

I looked at this pastor, and I said, I think pastors miss two things in their preaching. Most pastors do the first well in their sermons, but the other, most pastors miss, hurting them and their church.

First, the one most pastors get right: Pastoring through their sermons.

Most pastors are wired as pastors and shepherds, and you feel this in their sermons. This is something I’ve had to work hard at over the years because it isn’t natural for me; the second one is, though.

Pastoring in your sermon is helping people find hope for their problems and hurts, letting them know you understand where they are walking, caring through your words, and providing comfort. To do this, you need to know what people are walking in with, what problems and baggage they are carrying, what heartaches they have, and what keeps them up at night.

How to pastor your church in your preaching.

In your sermons, do you take moments to pastor people? To shepherd and comfort them?

A shepherd also guides their church. This means pointing out dangers and things that can kill the church. This can be idolatry in the hearts of your people but also guide them when it comes to politics and cultural influences. This isn’t comfortable for anyone.

Two things pastors overlook that make your sermons better.

The second one, and most pastors miss this one, is Leading through their sermons.

As a pastor, one of the greatest things you have at your disposal is the ability to lead through your preaching. This means that in your sermons, you are leading your church somewhere to where you believe God is taking your church. Your sermons should reinforce your church’s mission, vision, and strategy. A pastor must continually say, “We are doing ____ because ______.”

This doesn’t mean that all of your sermons are vision-casting sermons or even about the church’s mission. But you need to connect your sermons to your mission and why you exist as a church, or what you are doing as a church.

How to lead your church through your preaching.

For this to work, there is a critical component: your mission and desire must center around life change/transformation as a church. While every church would say its goal is to make disciples, not every church lives this out and tries to see lives changed.

As a church, do you want to see lives changed? Are all your systems and ministries centered around this idea? If not, you will preach to reach whatever mission and goal you have as a church.

Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2022

The Big & Little things that Destroy Relationships

by Josh Reich

Photo by Caleb Gregory on Unsplash

All of us have watched families and relationships fall apart. Marriages fizzle out, friendships grow distant, and families stop talking to each other. Some of these are simply life situations (like when friends move), but others are things that could be avoided. The problem is that we usually see relational issues too late.

What if you could see ahead of time what could destroy a relationship? What if you could do certain things to ensure a relationship didn’t fall apart? The answer is, you can.

In Galatians 5, the apostle Paul gives us two lists, one that shows us what can destroy relationships and one that shows how to have the best relationships possible.

Before getting to the lists, I want you to think about one person or relationship. This could be your spouse, kids, grandkids, or in-laws. It might be a combination of a few relationships. Each relationship has its challenges, but as you think about this, remember you can only control your part of the relationship. You can only change yourself. You can’t change your spouse, kids, boss, or friend – only yourself.

The big & little things that can destroy your most important relationships.

Okay, with that in mind, let’s get to the list.

The first one is what can destroy our relationships found in Galatians 5:19 – 21: Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

The little & big things that can destroy your marriage.

There’s a lot here.

Can you see what you might struggle with? What shows up in your most important relationships?

Each of us has something.

But think about your relationship; what could destroy it from this list? What do you need to be aware of? What do you need to be watching for? What things have you fallen into that you must confess or put guardrails around?

Dr. John Gottman is considered the expert on marriage and relationships. He says four things destroy our relationships and calls them The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Now, in our relationships, each of us has a go-to move. We might use all of them, but one of them is our favorite. And they back up what Paul says in Galatians 5.

What the best relationships have in common.

You can’t change what you don’t name, and you can’t guard against something you don’t identify. So, knowing what can destroy your most important relationships is essential.

Then, Paul gives us another list. A list you have heard before if you have a church background. He tells us in verse 22: the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Paul shows us the opposite of our default selves by giving us another list.

What the best marriages have in common.

He calls this list the fruit of the Spirit. Notice it doesn’t say fruits. Meaning this should be true of every follower of Jesus. Before we apply these, notice that Paul doesn’t give us an out. We don’t get to say, “well, I’m just not a patient person.” Or “I’m argumentative; that’s how I communicate.” He says these should be evident in the life of every follower of Jesus.

Some of them may come naturally to you based on your personality. You might be a naturally patient or kind person. Gentleness or self-control may be easy for you.

By calling it a fruit, though, Paul is telling us something else about these things:

Growth is gradual. Fruit doesn’t grow all at once. Being led by the Spirit is a gradual move in our life, but it is moving.
Growth is inevitable. With suitable soil, fertilizer, and ingredients, change will happen.

But what do these look like in relationships?

Love: To serve another person, choosing to love them. Love is not a feeling that overwhelms you but a choice you make daily. It is the opposite of fear, self-protection, or abusing people. It also means to seek the best for the other person.

Joy: is the opposite of hopelessness or despair, not having mood swings based on circumstances. Not blind optimism, but not wallowing in self-pity and pessimism, and seeing the good in each situation you face.

Peace: Having confidence in God while life seems to crash on you. Peace replaces anxiety and worry, apathy, or not caring about something. This also means striving for contentment and unity in relationships.

Patience: To face trouble or anxiety, or stress without blowing up. Not having resentment or cynicism or not caring. In relationships, this can mean being slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Kindness: Serving others practically, being vulnerable, opening your life up to others and not being envious, being able to rejoice when someone else succeeds or celebrating their joy.

Goodness: Integrity, being the same person everywhere rather than being phony or a hypocrite, and saying things with kindness. Telling the truth in love while being loving, not just telling the truth.

Faithfulness: To be reliable and counted on. When you make a promise, you can take it to the bank; you don’t cheat or cheat on people. The people closest to you should be able to trust and believe you.

Gentleness: is softness, a caring that you have for those around you and those in need. Having humility in relationships and being calm. Men do not get to say, “I’m not gentle.”

Self-control: Not impulsive, able to control your emotions, actions, and desires. Having willpower over areas of your life, not being controlled by porn, feelings, drugs, alcohol, work, or anything else, striving to control your impulses.

What the best marriages look like.

Which of these come naturally for you? Which ones are a struggle that you need to grow in?

What would it look like if your marriage and most important relationships had these in them? Imagine if this list was true of your most important relationships and life.

What is true of the healthiest families.

Posted on Monday, October 10, 2022

Pastoring When You’re Tired

by Josh Reich

Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

One of the common refrains I hear among pastors when I talk with them is that they are tired, rundown, going on fumes, and some of them, going through the motions. And that makes sense when you look at the past few years, but the reality is you can’t lead and live for a long time when you are tired.

You can survive, but you aren’t thriving.

What happens when you lead tired.

What happens when you live and lead tired?

You have a shorter fuse, have cloudy judgment and struggle to make good decisions. You can fall into temptations and unhealthy patterns. Your relationships suffer, and ultimately, you coast on your gifts as you don’t have the mental and physical energy to move forward.

Now, this can be seasonal. This happens in life. There are busy and slow seasons in all walks of life.

This isn’t about a season in life but a regular pattern for many pastors and leaders.

Pastoring when you are tired.

The other day, I talked with a pastor who said, “I just feel spread thin, and I don’t feel like I’m moving anything forward substantially.”

Here’s why this matters: If this pastor isn’t careful, he will feel like he isn’t accomplishing anything, that he isn’t “winning,” and the people in his church will slowly start to feel like nothing is moving forward. Churches do not have to continually move forward to be healthy; there is an important season where “the ground needs to be still” so that things can be ready for the future. But that’s not what this pastor was talking about.

Leading when you are tired.

If that’s you, what do you do?

I think you first have to be honest about where you are, how tired you are, and how much fuel you have in your tank. Once you can articulate that, here are a few questions to work through:

How did you get here? You didn’t all of a sudden get busy and tired. You didn’t wake up one day demoralized and deflated in ministry. No, this happens slowly, like a leak in a tire.

How did you get here? What choices did you make or not make that brought you here?

It could be as simple as not getting enough sleep, not eating healthy, or exercising. You might have slipped in your spiritual practices or other rhythms that keep you healthy.

This is incredibly important because often hidden in what got us here will help get us back to a healthy, sustainable pace.

What will refill your tank? When I’m exhausted, it is hard to articulate what will fill me up again; when that is hard to tell, it feels even more deflating.

But look back over your life: what did the excellent seasons have in common, what things do you enjoy, what brings a smile to your face and lightheartedness to your life? Who are the people who make you laugh until it hurts, and who do you want to be around? Are there places (the woods, mountains, beach, coffee shop) in which you love spending time?

To refill your tank, you need to know what these people and places are so that you can make sure they are a part of your calendar because they are easy to crowd out.

What changes do you need to make to live and lead at a sustainable pace? This can feel like an impossible question to answer when you are tired.

Another way to ask it is the question my counselor asks me whenever I tell him I feel overwhelmed or tired or during a busy season “What do you need to make it through this week? This month? What do you have to get done? What would you like to get done?”

This is where the work is put in to move forward, creating a plan you can stick with. Often, we overestimate what we will be able to do, but be realistic about what it will take to lead and live at a sustainable pace. Layout when you do your best work and block that time off, so you aren’t stressed. Schedule in your personal growth, exercise, and relationship time. Have a clear plan for sleep and eating and how you will stay on track.

All of these things go into leading and living at a sustainable pace.

How to lead and live at a sustainable pace.

Posted on Monday, October 3, 2022

What You Need To Get Through the Day

by Josh Reich

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

One of my favorite questions that John Eldredge asked in his excellent book, Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times, is, “What do I need today?”

Each month when I meet with my spiritual director, he asks me, what do you need today, this week, this month? What will bring you life, restore life to the weary parts of your soul? What do your relationships need? What do you need physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?

Too often, we gut through it, put our heads down, pull up our bootstraps, and get it done.

Then we crash.

But our daily practices reveal our hearts and what matters to us.

If we don’t build in practices each day to strengthen us, when the storms hit, we won’t survive them.

One of the fascinating lessons in the book of Daniel is what he did each day and how that enabled him to move through his life with strength.

We’re told in numerous places, but it’s highlighted in Daniel 6 about his prayer life. In verse 10, we’re told: that Daniel went into his house. The windows in its upstairs room opened toward Jerusalem, and three times a day he got down on his knees, prayed, and gave thanks to his God, just as he had done before.

In Daniel 6, life is getting hard for Daniel. Those around him have betrayed him, sought a way to kill him, and he does what he does every day; he prays.

Here are a few questions that rumble around my soul this week as I looked at this text:

What do I look to or go to alleviate that pain and difficulty when life gets hard?
How much do I pray? How often do I pray each day?
How focused am I on the things of God versus my things?
How focused am I on what God is doing around me versus what God is doing for me?

Eldredge said, “Resilience is built in our daily practices.”

Resilience is built in our daily practices. -John Eldredge

Our actions each day determine where our lives end up.

We know this, yet we continue to waste a lot of time in our lives on trivial things and then wonder why we aren’t where we want to be or have the things we hoped to have.

Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2022

The Goal of Your Family

by Josh Reich

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Do you know that you have a goal for your family if you’re a parent or grandparent?

Of course, you do; we all do.

But can you articulate it?

Years ago, when Katie and I started having kids, we would talk a lot about our kids’ goals, hopes, and dreams, as all parents do. But we had watched plenty of families never reach those goals; we had watched great ideas flame out. Why?

Before I tell you, take a moment to answer this simple question: What is the goal for your family?

What is the goal for your family?

Maybe you aren’t able to put it into words, but that’s okay. Here are a few examples I’ve seen over the years:

For some, the goal is to have fun, not to get too serious.
For many married couples, their goal is simply to stay married. To survive. Not to be happy, not to be in love, but to survive.
Some parents aim for their kids to grow up and have everything they didn’t have.
For some parents, their goal is for their kids not to do anything stupid or embarrassing.
In some cases, the goal is to get too close because of a background of abuse or abandonment. To have a relationship with their child that they didn’t have with their parents.
In some families, it is about keeping the peace or one person happy.
For others, it is to take care of one family member.
For other families, their goal is centered around school, getting into the right college, and doing the right steps.
For others, it is all about sports, scholarships, and winning.

Now, depending on the season of life, the goal for our family might change. And even as you read through the list above, those aren’t bad goals. There are a lot of good things on that list. But, most people have never articulated their goal or even agreed on it with their spouse. Then, you start working towards something, your spouse works towards something else, and you find yourself pulling against each other, which leads to all kinds of disagreements and frustrations.

If you’re following along with our Future Family series at CCC, I’d encourage you to sit down with your spouse and work through your goal for your family. As we move through this series, we’ll help build that out and bring more focus. In week 6 of this series, I’ll share one of the most important things Katie and I have ever done in our family.

Once you articulate your goal, here’s a question that I think is a little harder: Is it the right goal?

Do you have the right goal for your family?

If we aren’t careful, we can go after the wrong goal in our family and figure it out too late.

That’s why it is so important to make sure you have a clear goal, and it is the one you want to go after in your family.

You might wonder, is there a universal goal for families? That depends.

As followers of Jesus, we are to be image bearers of Jesus and reflect Him to the world around us. This means when people look at your family, parenting, and grandparenting, they should think, “I bet that’s how God parents us.”

Put simply, as a follower of Jesus, your family’s goal is to reflect the heart of God.

Put simply, as a follower of Jesus, your family’s goal is to reflect the heart of God.

One of the clearest pictures of that is in Luke 15, in the story of the prodigal son. We meet a family, a father and two sons in the story. The younger son comes and asks his father for his inheritance. In this culture, the oldest son received 2/3 of what the father had when the father died. Notice the father isn’t dead. The remaining children received what was left after that. This son says, “I want mine now before you are dead.” He is telling his father, I wish you were dead. Maybe you’ve said that to a family member, maybe someone has said that to you, so you can understand the intensity of this moment. The father, instead of arguing, gives it to him. Which means he would’ve had to sell land. In this culture focused on the father, the people hearing this story would’ve been blown away by the son’s audacity. The younger son leaves, takes his money, lives it up, and spends it all. Then a famine comes to the land he is in. He is at the bottom, so hungry that he wants to eat the food pigs eat.

The younger son drags himself home. I imagine he is incredibly humiliated by this.

The text tells us that while the son was a ways off, the father ran out to meet him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. Then, he threw a party for the son who had returned.

The older brother, who stayed home, and followed the rules, was the dutiful, responsible one, is furious. Maybe you can imagine your family now and see the different people and their roles.

Tim Keller, in his great book The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith, said of this passage, “both sons missed the father because neither wanted the father, only what they could get from him.”

In this story, Jesus shows us the heart of God. God’s heart is for us. God gives us our choices and freedoms no matter where they will lead us, but when we come home, God runs out to meet us, throws his arms around us, and brings us home through his grace. That heart should be reflected in how we parent and relate to each other in our families.

Posted on Thursday, September 22, 2022

How to Figure Out God’s Will for Your Life

by Josh Reich

Photo by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash

When people talk about figuring out God’s will or hearing the voice of God, we tend to get very mysterious and talk about it in ways that, when we step back, seem odd.

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well.

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, open and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few.

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasure, time, and talents.

I believe that if we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will be doing what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

Pay attention to what the Bible says to you.

During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you.

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise, and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of shoulds and coulds.

Pay attention to wise counsel.

3. When you feel like God is speaking…act.

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

3 ways to hear the voice of God.

Posted on Monday, September 19, 2022

How to Find the Mentor You Need & Want

by Josh Reich

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Recently, I was on a call with some younger leaders at a company, and a lot of the conversation centered around how to be successful in your 20s, what roadblocks you might hit and how to find a mentor.

We spent a lot of time talking about mentoring and coaching because it is a big part of what makes people successful.

But how do you find a mentor? How do you walk through that process?

We often put a lot of pressure on those relationships, which hangs us up sometimes and keeps us from finding the help we need.

The best mentoring relationships have three things in common:

They are intentional but organic.
They are relational.
Growth happens through conversations, not necessarily a curriculum.

While you will sometimes ask a mentor to walk with you, sometimes it will just happen.

They are relational, which means it should be someone you naturally connect with, and they connect with you. If that doesn’t exist, you will not get all of what you could out of the relationship, and one or both of you will end up frustrated.

While you can sometimes go through a curriculum, the best mentoring happens naturally through conversations. When you have them, come prepared with questions, put your phone away and take lots of notes.

Before getting to how to find one, let me give you a caution I’ve learned over the years: A mentor is someone further ahead of you in an area you want to grow in.

No one person can mentor you in every part of your life.

No one person can mentor you in every part of your life.

This is the problem we run into. We look for someone to be the end-all, be-all for us.

When someone asks for a mentor, I explain this to them and then ask a series of questions:

How to find a mentor.

What are one or two areas you want to grow in as you think about your life in the next 3, 6, or 12 months? This could be finances, prayer, marriage, boundaries, health, etc.

Why do you think I can help you? I want to know why they think I can help them. Not because I want to pump up my ego, but I want to know they’ve done their homework on me and didn’t just throw a dart at the wall and pick the closest person.

What are you doing, or have you tried to grow in this area? Often, not always, but often people seek a mentor because they are lazy. I want to know what books or blogs this person has looked at in this area. Are they actively seeking to grow in this area or just hoping to rub off on the success from someone? This leads to the last part.

How much time are you willing to put into this? Anything worth doing will take time. You won’t grow in handling finances, health, marriage, career, preaching, etc., without putting in time and effort. This is a commitment you, as the person getting mentored, make. The mentor is coming along for the ride, and if I, as the mentor, am not convinced you are into the ride, I’m getting off.

4 things to keep in mind when you look for a mentor.

If you are worth your salt as a leader, person, or pastor, you will often be asked to mentor people. You must be selective about who you mentor because you are giving up one of your most precious commodities, your time. If you are asking to be mentored, to succeed and have it worthwhile, you need to do your homework and be willing to put in the work. There is nothing more exciting than working with someone who wants to grow in an area and helping them do that.

We can’t become the person we are to become without relationships with older, more mature people in our lives.

We can’t become the person we are to become without relationships with older, more mature people in our lives.

Posted on Monday, September 12, 2022

What Changes to Make as a Leader (And When to Make Them)

by Josh Reich

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

One of the things leaders do is make changes. It is in our DNA. Leadership is about influencing those around you to a better, preferred future. That future is different from the past or the present.

What trips leaders up is knowing what to change and when to change it.

This is crucial to understand if you are a new leader or new to your church or organization.

When I arrived at Community Covenant Church, I learned much about the church. While I knew things about the church (I thought I knew a lot when I came), you don’t know what you don’t know. And you need to make sure the data you have is accurate, which can be a challenge in a church. But that’s a different post!

How to know what to change in your church and when to change it as a pastor.

As I was meeting with leaders and people in the church, getting to know them, asking questions, and simply observing things, I started a list of things to change. This list grew through my meetings as people shared ideas. What is great about being a new leader is all the ideas that people share with you. These are often ones that haven’t happened in the past, thoughts they’ve been holding on to until the new leader comes, or things ripe with potential you need to know about.

Here is the problem: There are too many good (and excellent) ideas for you to get to right away.

You can’t change everything and go after everything all at once even if you want to!

You can’t change everything and go after everything all at once. Even if you want to!

How do you prioritize as a leader, what to change and when to change it?

This depends on the situation, the age of the church, what the previous leader was like and their style of change, how ready the church is for change, and how dire the situation is.

The need for change is high if you go into a church that is about to run out of people or money. The desire for change might not be, but the need is.

You might be in a situation where the desire for change is strong, but the need isn’t, or the resources for change aren’t there.

You must consider these things as you set your strategic plan as a leader.

When I moved to New England, I had a simple question I asked myself and our team as we thought about what to do and what not to do. This question has been a guide for us.

Ready?

Will it matter if I/we don’t change this in two years?

The question I ask myself about change in our church: Will it matter if I/we don’t change this in two years?

If I don’t change this in two years, will it matter?

Look at everything in your church: kids and student ministries, worship services, online ministry, groups and discipleship, theology, mission, and strategy. This question can help to clarify what to focus on.

There are a lot of things you could do, a lot of things you could focus on, but if you don’t do anything with them, in two years, it won’t matter. At least not compared to other things.

Just because it needs to be changed doesn’t mean now is the moment to make that change.