Posted on

Writing the Story of Your Kids Lives

by

Gavin turned 4 today. One of the things I do each year is write a letter to my kids.

One of the roles I think Dad’s should play is helping to write the story of their kids lives. When kids get older, what will they remember. They might remember trips and things that happen, but what about the small things in their lives? How their personality developed, how they started a relationship with Jesus, what shaped them. So, each year I sit down and write a letter chronicling that year in the life of our child.

It is also helpful for me as I think through the pace of the life of our family. I believe that Katie and I work together on our schedules, but one of the roles of a father is to help make sure the family is pacing well. Are they in a busy season? Slow season? Doing too many activities? This helps me look back over the year as well as I chronicle it for our kids.

Gavin is strong and determined, not sure where he gets that from. That shapes a lot of who he is. One of the differences between me and him is how outgoing he is. The combination of this can be huge for the kingdom of God as he grows up. I sit back and wonder how God will use these gifts the has given to him.

I love hearing him pray for our friends and family, as well as how he prays for our adoption. I can see the Holy Spirit working in him and drawing his heart to his. It is neat hearing he asks about why we are adopting, why some kids don’t have parents and how that is shaping him. I hope that between these two things, God shapes him into a man that is strong and determined, but whose heart breaks for those who have less than he does and that God will use him to serve those who are hurting.

Dads, I’d encourage you to tell the story of your kids lives. Even if you haven’t started, start now. I look forward to the day Gavin graduates from high school and I hand him a stack of letters that help to remind of who he is, where he has come from and the grace God has shown to him and us in our lives.

Posted on

20 Ways to Tell What Your Idols Are

by

Before we can eliminate the idols in our life, we must first realize what (who) they are.

We all have idols. We are all idolaters to one degree or another. We all are in need of repentance and restoration. We all are in desperate need to undergo serious spiritual alignment so that our passions are proportionally directed at God and not at a god or gods.

So, how then do we discern what are our idols? How can we become increasingly clear-sighted rather than remaining in their power?

Here are twenty questions that we need to transparently answer in order for our idols to be revealed to us:

1.What do we fear the most?

2.What, if we lost it, would make life not worth living?

3.What controls our mood?

4.What do I respond to with explosive anger or deep despair?

5.What dominates our relationships?

6.What do we dream about when our mind is on idle-mode?

7.To what do our thoughts effortlessly drift towards?

8.What do we enjoy day-dreaming about?

9.What am I preoccupied with?

10. What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night?

11. Where or in whom do I put my trust?

12. What occupies my mind when we have nothing else to think about?

13. Do we day-dream about purchasing material goods that you (we) don’t need, with money you (we) don’t have to impress the people you (we) do not like?

14. What do you habitually, systematically and undoubtedly drift towards in order to obtain peace, joy and happiness in the privacy of your heart?

15. How do we spend our (God’s) money?

  • Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there is your heart also” (Matt. 6:21).
  • Your money flows most effortlessly toward your heart’s greatest love. In fact, the mark of an idol is that you spend too much money on it, and you must try to exercise self-control constantly. Our patterns of spending reveal our idols.

16. What is my real, daily functional savior?

17. What is my real – not my [professed] – god?

18. How do I respond to unanswered prayers?

19. When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?

20. Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?

When we ask ourselves these penetrating questions, there yields a continuity of our idolatry. The answers to these questions uncover the following:

  • Whether we serve God or idols
  • Whether we look for salvation from Christ or from false saviors
  • Whether we rely on our Deliverer or other pseudo-messiahs.
Posted on

My Journey of Losing Weight

by

Over the last week, I blogged about my journey of losing weight and keeping it off. It has been awesome getting messages from people about how this series has challenged and encouraged them. I hope it spurs you to being healthy.

You can read the posts here:

  1. How I got to where I am 
  2. The idol of food (the spiritual side of weight loss)
  3. Have a plan
  4. It’s for the rest of your life
  5. The effects
  6. Do your homework
  7. The idol of exercise & staying in shape
Posted on

Losing Weight Part 7: The Idol of Being in Shape

by

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6 here to get some background on this post. I talked in part 2 about the idol of food, one thing I want to end on is the idol of being in shape.

In the same way that it is easy for us to make an idol out of food. It is just as easy to make an idol out of exercise, being in shape, looking fit. This hits a different idol. While food can often be for comfort, the idol of being in shape often hits approval.

When I got assessed for Acts 29, they asked about my weight loss. The reason is because most church planters put on a ton of weight. The stress of church planting, the meetings at restaurants and coffee shops, the long hours, sleepless nights lead a lot of guys to put weight on. I was the opposite. I think that is one of the reasons we were able to make it through the hard start up months of Revolution.

As I described my journey, which you’ve read this week and talked about the idol of food one of the guys asked me at the end of the story, “Has exercise become your idol?” I think at first, as I was losing weight it did. If I missed a workout I would get angry, like I used to if I was hungry. It is natural for this to happen. When you lose 100 pounds, 12 inches off your waist, you want to keep it off. This makes sense. But it doesn’t make it right to make it an idol. It is easy to trade one idol (food) for another idol (being in shape or working out).

Now, I am not as tough on calories or working out as I used to. Our church has grown significantly, so has our family. It is harder and harder to make time to workout, so I’ve created a plan that fits my life. In fact, I went 10 days without working out to see if my food plan would allow me to not gain weight, and it did. If you have lost a bunch of weight and are working out, go a week without working out. If you just gasped, you may have an idol of working out that you need to deal with.

Don’t mishear me, there is nothing wrong with working out, being in shape, wanting to be healthy. Only when we elevate it to a high status in our lives. When we find our identity in working out or being in shape.

Posted on

Losing Weight Park 6: Do Your Homework

by

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5 here to get some background on this post.

Many times people go into the idea of losing weight or being healthy without doing their homework. They might have a plan, eat better and exercise. But what does that mean? Are you going to do the right thing? Recently, for our workout plans, I started using Men’s Health Huge in a Hurry and Katie started using The Female Body Breakthrough and one of the things they both pointed out is that many people shoot themselves in the foot by doing the wrong things. While I am not a trained personal trainer, going on what they have said, what we’ve seen happen to our bodies, their logic (while not conventional) makes sense.

Often the idea that men have who want to lose weight is lift a light weight a lot of times. Not true. Cardio alone is the not the best plan for losing weight. This is why, the authors point out, you see aerobics instructors, strict runners who don’t have a lot of overall muscle.

My point? Do your homework on your plan.

I used to think, if I wanted to lose weight and be healthy, I needed to run. Not so. I maybe run once a week now (which because I hate running is awesome for me). This isn’t to say running isn’t good and healthy, but make sure you do your homework.

While there is a ton out there, here is one thing I’ve used to wade through all the information:  Look at the person giving forth information and ask, “Do you want to look like them? Feel like them?” If someone isn’t healthy, I don’t want to hear their opinion. Just like I don’t take marriage advice from couples whose marriages aren’t healthy. I do the opposite.

It’s the same with making a plan.

When I started out almost 4 years ago, I read almost every article on Men’s Health’s website. I wanted to learn what food does. When to workout, how often. It took me awhile to find something that fit my body, my schedule and I could do for the rest of my life. That’s the key and that’s why this takes so long. It is not a quick fix. I didn’t become 300 pounds over night.

So, do the homework, read, study, make a plan that you can stick to for the rest of your life.

Posted on

Losing Weight Part 5: The Effects

by

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4 here to get some background on this post.

This last post I want to talk about what losing weight and being healthy has done in my life. It brought things I hoped for and some things I didn’t expect. My goal here is to give you a vision of what the future could be like. You have to have this to continue on this journey because it is easy to quit. Losing weight is hard work. Being healthy takes time and is difficult. If it wasn’t, everyone would do it.

There are the obvious things like I feel better, my body doesn’t hurt like it used to. I have more confidence in my life, when I speak, etc.

One of the most interesting effects of losing weight was being more organized and purposeful in life. I realized that I was very sloppy in my life. When I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, not exercising, having bad sleeping habits. You don’t have to plan for that.

You have to plan to eat well, plan a menu, buy food, plan out buying fruits and vegetables. If you are going to be going out for lunch or dinner, you have to plan ahead, look at the menu and decide what you will eat. You have to plan mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack. This changes a lot. You no longer just grab McDonald’s cause you are out and didn’t think ahead, you have to. This will change other areas of your life. I found that I started being more proactive and purposeful in my job, my relationships (especially with Katie in our marriage and with our kids). I also became more purposeful in my relationship with God. Until I started eating better and exercising, I hadn’t realized how lazy and sloppy I’d become in other crucial areas of my life.

The idea of planning though is one of the reasons many people struggle with weight or keeping weight off. It is easier to not plan.

If you are going to exercise 3-4 days a week, you have to make the time to do it. Which means, you will spend less time on something else. I find that I watch a lot less TV than I used to. I get up earlier than I used to. Get to bed earlier than I used to so that I can exercise and get done what I need to for work and my family.

Tomorrow, I’ll wrap up this series. Stay tuned…

 

Posted on

Losing Weight Part 4: It’s For the Rest of Your Life

by

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1, part 2 and part 3 here to get some background on this post.

The reality of your plan (exercise and eating) is that it is a lot like getting out of debt, most people miss this concept. They think about losing weight as something they do now, put the weight back on and then lose it again. The ones who see it as a lifestyle change are the ones that keep it off. When getting out of debt, it is a lot of little changes over a period of time, it starts to snowball to quote Dave Ramsey. Eventually, your start to see money differently. It is the same as dieting and exercise. You lose 2 pounds here, 3 pounds the next week, and then it snowballs.

Like someone who has worked their way out of debt, I can’t imagine going back to the way I used to live. I can’t imagine eating like I used to or feeling like I used to. When I think about the pain I used to have, the self esteem I had, the way I felt after eating a meal. I can’t imagine that.

Have a plan. Start small and slow. Know that this is a lifestyle change, not an overnight change. Nothing overnight lasts forever (just look at all the one hit wonders in music history).

If you go into losing weight and being healthy with the mindset that you are looking to do something that you can do for the rest of your life, it will affect your plan and how you do it. Many of the diet fads and workout plans are things you won’t do for the rest of your life. I have a friend who did a diet that was 25 days and claimed you’d lose a pound a day. It might be true, but you aren’t going to eat that diet for 60 years. But the people who write them don’t care. If you quit, put the weight back on, you’ll just buy more stuff when you get miserable. The up and down nature of weight loss fuels this industry.

Whatever your goal is, do you have a plan you can do forever?

Posted on

Losing Weight Part 3: Have a Plan

by

I’ve been chronicling my journey of losing weight this week. It is by far the thing I get questions about the most. You can read part 1 and part 2 here to get some background on this post.

One of the problems many people run into when they want to lose weight or be healthy is that they don’t have a goal or a plan. If you say you want to lose weight, how much? How will you know if you are healthier? How do you plan to get there?

I remember when I went to the doctor when I was 27 and telling him I wanted to be skinnier. He told me that wasn’t the goal. He said, “The goal is to be healthy.” So, I set out to be healthy.

We started small. Before going on I need to say this, if you want to lose 30 pounds in a month, what I am about to describe will not help. It is not sexy what I did. But here is the prize, what I did I can do til the day I die. Which means, I accomplished my goal of losing weight and my doctor’s goal of being healthy. So, start small. We started by changing to wheat bread, which was a bigger battle than you might think. We stopped drinking soda, sweet tea (this was a battle for me).

To get an idea of what I would eat. When Katie and I would go out to eat, we’d share an appetizer, I’d eat my meal and finish hers. No leftovers was my motto. It wasn’t uncommon for me to eat a footlong sub, drink a gallon of sweet tea, eat a whole can of pringles (not the snack size) and sometimes eat a can of chunky new england clam chowder. That was a meal. Recently we were back in Maryland and ate at our favorite sub shop where I would drink 60 oz. of their sweet tea, eat a footlong sub, a huge bowl of cream of crab soup and eat a side of fries. That would be a lunch. It was not a secret for me why I was fat. This trip, I could barely finish an order of the soup. My stomach and appetite has truly shrunk.

But again, this has taken since 2005. I started working at it at the end of 2007. In 4 years this change has happened. You will never see that on a magazine, but if you want to be healthy for the rest of your life, you must take the long range view of it.

So, what is your plan?

I read books and magazines on food, understanding calories, and I began to see food as fuel for my body, not just something I enjoy or turn to. The secret to losing weight is exercise and portion control. Regardless of what fad or plan you use, if you boil it down you will get to these two things.

So I started controlling my portions, eating less. I still grill out meat, eat dessert, enjoy good drinks, coffee. I basically eat just about anything I want, just less of it. Now when I grill out meat, instead of a large portion of potatoes and a small veggies, we will have meat with 2 veggies. I often get asked about alcohol and weight. According to Men’s Health, you should limit it to 2 drinks a day. The calories in alcohol is pretty high, especially mixed drinks, so if you drink, be smart about what you drink. You can go to Starbucks, but again, be wise. You can get a drink at Starbucks and knock out a third of the calories for the day.

Exercise is the next part of the puzzle. When I was my heaviest, I couldn’t run as it hurt too much. So I bought a bike. We spent more than we normally would have, but it needed to hurt for me to ride. I started riding and slowly started to see the weight come off. When I was able, I started running. And running.

Now, I use the workout plan found in Men’s Health Huge in a Hurry. I eat 5 smaller meals a day (lots of protein and veggies). I workout 3 days a week and then watch what I eat. The great thing is that I have essentially been this size and weight for almost a year. Since using this workout plan I have seen a difference in my weight and physique.

Again, these are all changes that I can do for a long time. I can eat well and exercise regularly.

More tomorrow.

Posted on

Help us Piece Together our Family

by

We posted this last week on our adoption blog, but since I don’t know if all of you read that, I wanted to make sure you got this important update on where we are in our adoption and how you can be involved:

The countdown has officially begun… 10, 9, 8 months… our adoption paperwork, the dossier, has officially been completed and will soon be headed to Ethiopia; which means that we are officially done with the “paper pregnancy” and are now on the waiting list to be referred our next child(ren).

The wait is anywhere from 5 to 11+ months right now. In case you did not know we have 3 lovely biological kids Ava 5, Gavin 3, and Ashton 2; we are requesting a child 0 -18 months or twins or a sibling group 0 – 24 months. We have raised about half of the $30,000 that we need to complete this adoption, and during this time of waiting we are hoping to complete our fundraising so that we will be prepared to accept our referral and travel to bring home our next child.

Help us add ONE more piece to the puzzle so that there will be ONE less orphan.

Would you consider sponsoring a piece of our puzzle to help change an orphan into a beloved child? Each piece will be $10,and we will write the name of each person who buys a piece (or pieces) on the back of the piece, and eventually frame the puzzle in a double glass frame. It will be a constant reminder, to hang on our wall, of those who came together to help bring our next child home. Below is an image of the puzzle we are putting together:

1500 pieces @ $10 a piece = $15,000 raised

You can contribute towards our adoption in a few different ways:
  • Use the PayPal link on our adoption blog to donate any amount (the direct link to PayPal is here). (A small processing fee is taken out of the donation.)
  • To give a tax-deductible donation, please send a check to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40/202 N. Ford St, Gridley, IL 61744. Please put our last name in the memo section Reich/#1685 adoption. *Note:  In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization.  This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use. If you give through Lifesong please let us know, so that we can follow up with you. You can also give online at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/donation.html just put add Reich/#1685 adoption to the comments. (Again, a small processing fee is assessed if you give online.)

For every $10 donated, we will write your name on the back of a puzzle piece, and our next child will forever know the loved ones who helped to bring him/her home.

Our goal is to raise the money for the final piece of the journey by May 31, 2011.

We would be grateful if you would help spread the word by posting on your blogs, facebook or twitter. (If you post, please leave a comment & let us know so that we can thank you!)

If you would like you can cut and paste this message onto Facebook:

Help piece together the Reich’s Adoption! The Reich’s are on the countdown to raise $15,000~ it’s as simple as $10 for a puzzle piece! Be a part of bringing their next child home to his/her forever family! Go to http://missionalthoughts.wordpress.com/adoption-puzzle/ for details and donate today!

There is a huge task ahead to raise the money needed to complete the adoption. But we believe that nothing is impossible with God, and it is His hurdle to jump, His sea to part, His mountain to move. We believe that He has asked us to adopt a child(ren) who need a family, even though we do not have the means, we will trust Him to provide.

Thank you for all of your love, support and prayers! We are truly grateful!

Posted on

Why We’re Adopting From Ethiopia

by

Many of you know we are adopting from Ethiopia. If you aren’t following our blog or our fan page on Facebook, please do so. This is the best way to keep up on what is happening, where we are financially, how you can be praying for us and what you can do to help and be involved.

Here is a video from another family who adopted from Ethiopia that lays out why chose Ethiopia and the situation there.