How to Not be Productive on Vacation

Many of us are good about planning our work and family lives. We have to-do lists and routines for how we accomplish things. The problem is that we don’t have that same level of planning and intentionality when we rest, go on vacation or try not to be productive.

The longer I’m in leadership, the most important thing to do on vacation and the sabbath is not to be productive. As a leader, this is hard and one of the most important things to keep in mind.

It isn’t decisions, meetings, counseling, or preaching that tires me out (although that can do it sometimes), but it is the production of things. I feel the pressure (real or imagined) to produce something, to prepare something.

To be productive.

How do you stop producing and rest? How can you take a weekend off? How do you turn your mind off from it? From the pressure, the deadlines?

I’ll be honest. Every week, this is my biggest struggle (when I’m trying to take my Sabbath day). I can survive without social media and email. But planning ahead helps me be intentional about not thinking about work, and being willing to not read a book for a sermon or leadership and stop producing.

I feel guilty about it.

But it is necessary and vital to your health as a leader, your family, and your church.

Here are five things I’ve learned that might be helpful for you this weekend and on your next vacation:

1. Decide ahead of time what unproductive will mean and entail. This might sound counterintuitive, but the first step to being unproductive is to be productive. Set yourself up to succeed.

If you are married, sit down with your spouse and ask them, “If I was unproductive for a weekend, a week, two weeks, a month, what would that mean? What would we do?” Leaders struggle to rest because of the constant movement of ministry and leadership. It is addicting. As much as my heart, mind, and body need a break from preaching, I get antsy and have a hard time functioning when I take a break. That is a sign that I need it, but it’s also a sign that I have some heart work to do around that.

For me, here are some things that being unproductive means: no blogging or writing, no leadership or theology books (I read spy novels or historical books on vacation), sleeping in (or letting Katie sleep in), taking naps, extended game time with my kids, ample time with friends, being outside.

Answer this simple question: What would refresh me and recharge me? Are there certain people who will do that? Spend time with them.

Too many pastors work on vacation and prepare for upcoming things (you need to plan that for a different time). Your weekend or vacation is for refreshment, recharging, and reconnecting with your family in another way.

2. Set yourself up for success. If you don’t decide ahead of time, you’ll come back from vacation exhausted and then tell people around you, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

One of the things we’ve done in years past is for me to take a one or two-night retreat at a monastery before we go away. Leaders have a way of crashing at the start of vacation. I’d rather do this alone than crash on my family. It starts your time off on the right foot.

If you are tired of the church or have difficulty going to church without thinking about your church (which happens more than you think), take a Sunday off and sleep in. Watch a podcast (but not for ministry purposes).

The bottom line is if you know and have decided how to be unproductive, it makes it easier to reach it. It increases the likelihood of resting and recharging.

One of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to take social media and email off your phone. In fact, on vacation, Katie changes my passwords so I can’t even get on them in a moment of weakness (which never happens).

At the end of your week, finish things up. Set up some ritual at the end of the day or week that says, “I’m done. I’ve done all that I can, the rest is in God’s hands” so that you can be done mentally and emotionally.

3. Give yourself grace. Because you are a leader and are trained to be productive and critical, you will struggle not to be effective and not critical. When you think about work, a person, a situation, give yourself grace and then move on.

When you start to think about work, write it down and let it go on your time off. Give yourself a moment to reconnect to being off and be okay with that. Your weekend or vacation isn’t ruined at that moment. It can be if you let it, but it isn’t yet.

4. Get out of town. This isn’t always possible but get out of town if you can. There are so many retreat centers and housing for pastors and their families that you can do this inexpensively. We stayed at the same place in San Diego for four different years and then multiple years in Huntington Beach, and each time it was free or cheap. Plan (and Google pastor’s retreat) and start making calls. Our kids look forward every year to vacation because we’ve planned it. This also means we don’t do things during the year for this time to happen, but we got out of town when I was making less than $500 a week (and working four jobs) planting our church. So you can do it!

Find fun things to do on your weekend if that will recharge you. Go swimming, hike, go to a fair or a market. Get moving. You may stay in your town but get out of your house. Changing the scenery is crucial to resting and recharging.

5. Your church will be fine. Many pastors fear leaving their church as if they are the glue that holds their church together. If you are a church planter, you are the glue for much of your church but not all of it. You can get away for a long weekend or a week, and everything will be fine.

Too many pastors live with the pressure that someone will be mad if they take a week off. They might, but you’ll live. They get vacation time, too.

Often pastors will ask me, “What do I do if I don’t have someone to preach?” Simple, show a video sermon of someone. Download a Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, or Craig Groeschel sermon and show that. Better yet, download four and take four Sundays off from preaching.

Let me tell you why this matters: A refreshed pastor leads a refreshed church.

A tired pastor leads a tired church.

Creating a Rhythm of Sabbath Rest

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

Recently, I preached on the topic of Sabbath rest. But how do you create that? What goes into that day and preparing for that day?

Before getting to that, why don’t we rest? After all, almost everyone I talk to says things like, “I have too many things on my calendar” or, “At the end of the day, I don’t have energy for my spouse, kids, or the people who matter most to me.” We are tired, overwhelmed, and a rundown bunch of people.

To prepare for the sabbath and to create a rhythm of rest, here are some questions to ask yourself (and your family):

  • Am I living sustainably, and will it help me thrive tomorrow?
  • What would you do for 24 hours that would fill your soul with deep, throbbing joy? (from John Mark Comer)
  • What is necessary? What brings life?

The goal of the sabbath is rest, joy, and delight.

Why does this matter?

God calls us to be healthy. Healthy spiritually, physically, relationally, emotionally, and mentally. God created us, and all of us are meant to glorify Him.

This is a question that pushes on wisdom. In your life and your family right now, are you living in a way that will help you be healthy and thrive tomorrow? Is it sustainable? In churches, people often burn out because they overload their calendars. We say yes to too many things. I have friends in four Bible studies a week, run their kids to ballet, orchestra, baseball, and football, and serve in six ministries. Now, once you ask, are we living sustainably, you will often cut things out of your life. This is a good thing. However, the problem appears in the cutting. The second part is what will help me thrive tomorrow. That answer is more complicated. Not harder to discern but harder to apply. I’ll often see people cut God or church out of their lives in favor of hobbies or their kids’ sports. That won’t help you thrive tomorrow.

So what is the answer? What is our hope?

We are learning to see and live with Jesus as our rest.

Tim Keller helps us with what this looks like:

God liberated his people when they were slaves in Egypt, and in Deuteronomy 5:12–15, God ties the Sabbath to freedom from slavery. Anyone who overworks is really a slave. Anyone who cannot rest from work is a slave – to a need for success, to a materialistic culture, to exploitative employers, to parental expectations, or to all of the above. These slave masters will abuse you if you are not disciplined in the practice of Sabbath rest. Sabbath is a declaration of freedom.

Thus Sabbath is about more than external rest of the body; it is about inner rest of the soul. We need rest from the anxiety and strain of our overwork, which is really an attempt to justify ourselves—to gain the money or the status or the reputation we think we have to have. Avoiding overwork requires deep rest in Christ’s finished work for your salvation (Hebrews 4:1–10). Only then will you be able to ‘walk away’ regularly from your vocational work and rest.

What does that look like practically on a day-to-day basis? Here are a few ideas:

Let go because Jesus has this. As our Sabbath rest, we need to let go and give Jesus our burdens, stress, anxiety, and rest in Him. We know we will have responsibilities, stress, and worries because Jesus tells us we will, and we are to give them to him. Because of Jesus’ work, coming from heaven to earth, we can accept our limitations. Because Jesus is limitless, we can rest in Him.

Schedule rest and recreation. It won’t just happen. Hebrews 4 tells us that we are to enter God’s rest. Exodus 20 tells us to “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.” There is an active move on our part as it relates to rest. Sabbath throughout Scripture is an intentional thing, not something that is thrown together at the end.

The reality of being intentional also comes into play when it comes to our calendars and how we spend our time. Our lack of rest, while we often blame others, really comes down to our problem of stopping, trusting God, and being okay with not doing certain things.

You’ve heard me say that every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to something else.

Maybe you should take your kids out of activities so that you can spend the evening together. The number one complaint I hear from people is, “I don’t have time. I don’t have time for hobbies, sleep, marriage, relationships, kids, or reading my Bible.” You do; you just gave that time away. You give your time to the things that matter most. So what gets your time is what is essential. This is why taking control of your calendar matters. If you don’t control your calendar, someone else will.

Learn how you rest best. What does enjoying God look like? I think there are some basic principles, but each of us will do this in unique ways. If the goal of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, Sabbath rest is a great way to do this.

This will also include the reality of a place for all of us. Place matters when it comes to glorifying God, enjoying God, and resting in God.

The place is throughout Scripture. Adam and Eve were given a garden, the nation of Israel was given a land, and the church is given a city in Revelation. There is a place where rest, connecting to God, feeling closer to God happen for us, and it is essential to think through that. For some, it is a farm, the woods, a mountain, a city, a beach, but figure it out.

Fight against technology. A few practical things help me: resting from social media once a week, not having phones at the table so I can enjoy family time and conversations with friends, and not checking email at night or on the weekends. The sad thing is that study after study says that as we become more and more technological as a culture, we become more distant and lonely.

Review your day and week. In his helpful book The Rest of God, Mark Buchanan says that at the end of your day, ask: Where did I feel most alive, most hopeful, most in the presence of God? And where did I feel most dead, most despairing, farthest from God? What fulfilled me, and what left me forsaken? Where did I taste consolation, and where desolation? This helps you to see where God is moving and at work. Part of Sabbath rest is celebrating that God is in control, resting in that, and praising God’s goodness in our lives.

5 Ways to Lead When You Aren’t in Charge

Recently, I got to speak to a group of young leaders on how to lead when you aren’t in charge.

It isn’t easy to be on a team, to follow another leader, especially if you don’t respect them or like their vision. Yet, we will have to lead at different points in our leadership journey when we aren’t in charge.

I spent years not being in charge, and I didn’t lead well. I was prideful and not a very good follower, and God taught me many things. I stumbled through my early years of leadership. Then, after being a lead pastor for 12 years, God put me in a second chair for two years. It was hard, but exactly where I needed to be to learn some lessons about myself and leadership. Those two years have changed how I lead today in meaningful ways, but that’s a different post.

If you find yourself leading when you aren’t in charge, there are some essential things you can do. Now, if you google leading when you aren’t in charge, you will find a host of articles and podcasts that will say a lot of the same things: be humble, be teachable, know that you have influence where you are, etc. And those are all true. I’m going to assume that you already know those things and are doing those things; that’s why you’re a leader.

So, with that in mind, here are 5 other things you can do to lead when you aren’t in charge:

Be content where you are. You aren’t where you want to be or where you will ultimately be, and that’s frustrating, but it is also a good thing. 

A lot of leadership and following Jesus is about contentment. 

Be content. 

Be thankful too. You aren’t having to make certain decisions and carry a certain weight. 

If you weren’t in charge through covid, you didn’t carry a weight that others did. 

If you aren’t the lead pastor, you probably don’t feel the weight of making sure your whole church is protected, that the bills get paid, or whether you’ll have to shut down again because of covid or something else. Yes, you feel those weights to a degree, but not the way your lead pastor does. 

You don’t have everyone coming to you about something. That is a good thing. Yes, people come to you, but what do you do with that? You often “pass it up the chain” to the one leading.

I led worship at a large college ministry in college and then went on staff at a church as the student ministry worship leader. For the first three months, I didn’t lead worship. My boss had me reset rooms, move chairs, take out the trash, follow up with people, etc. I was so annoyed, and I told him so, because I was 19 and knew it all. He looked at me and said, “You’ll be on stage when you are content to be off stage.”

God wants to teach you things about yourself, Him, and others in this season. 

I love what Crawford Loritts said, “God won’t give you what you want because you won’t stick around long enough to get what you need.”

It is easy to quit; looking for an easy way out at this point, trying to force your way into a leadership position. But if you do, you might miss what you need for later.

Understand the person you follow.

As important as it is to know yourself and how you’re wired, and how your family and upbringing have affected you, it is equally important to know this information about the person you follow. 

Do they need time to process? Do they talk out loud? What do they value most, and why do they value that so much? What are their rhythms in terms of work? When is the best time to bring up an idea?

I had two bosses in one role, one wanted to speak in specifics, and when he said something, that was it. The other liked to process out loud and throw things at the wall. One wanted specifics when I came to him, and the other wanted me to share at the beginning of an issue so he could be involved. 

Could you get to know them, be a student of them? If you don’t know, ask them. If you are new to a church or team, ask a lot of questions of those you work with and work under. 

Know what you can change and can’t change under that person. 

Your boss, board, or leader cares about certain things. Some things are mission-critical that they are passionate about, and then other things they aren’t. You need to know what those things are. What is #1 on their list that they will protect against all costs?

Often, those things are non-negotiable, or you will have some difficulty changing those things. 

But what can you change?

Are there things they aren’t as clear on, as passionate about that you can experiment with? If so, spend some energy there. 

This also gets into understanding the team culture and dynamics. To change things, do you need to keep quiet, or bring them up? How does something get changed?

Be someone that can be counted on. 

The best thing you can do for those around you to gain more influence and move into the leadership roles you want is to be someone who can be counted on and gets things done. 

When you do this, you are making your boss’s job easier. 

One thing that people leading want to know is if their team is with them. Making sure your boss or leader knows you have their back in the meeting, and outside of the meeting matters greatly. 

In being someone who can be counted on, you also fulfill a vital leadership principle, making your boss’s job easier. 

Craig Groeschel refers to this as being the chief problem solver.

Know where the power resides. 

This might be one of the most important and overlooked things you need to know when you aren’t in charge. If you miss this and underestimate its power, you will find yourself in a world of hurt and going down the wrong road.

You need to know where the power resides in meetings, who makes things happen, and who stops things from happening. And know, this isn’t always the person at the top. It could be the gatekeeper for someone, the person with more details than others. I remember starting at a church and going through orientation and then having an admin tell me, “Now, let me tell you how things get done here.” That’s power.

If you don’t understand where the power resides, it will create a lot of headaches for you and missteps as you try to build influence.

When you aren’t in charge, you need to know who you influence and in what area. What area does each person influence (this isn’t always clear in job descriptions)? Who makes the final call on something? Who is responsible for carrying something out? Who sways the meeting when they speak? Who speaks first and last, and what does that do to the room?

Every church has a hierarchy, but you need to understand that what is written down is not always the way it is.

Know that you have influence.

Just because you are in charge doesn’t mean you hold all the influence. 

I’ve been at my church for almost a year. I have influence and power. 

The others on staff have more influence than I do because of how long they’ve been there. They have sat at more hospital bedsides and walked with more people than I have. Do not underestimate the influence you have in the seat you sit in. Relational influence is incredibly powerful in a church setting. 

As I was going through that hard season in Tucson, I had a mentor tell me something important: Know what you control, what you influence, and what is a concern. Too often, in our passion and excitement, we confuse these categories, and sometimes we need a friend or spouse to help us know the difference. 

Be clear on what you have control over or where you only have some influence. If you have some influence, know that it is more than none, and use what you have. Sometimes, it is something you are concerned about or don’t like, but you have no power or influence to change it. Too many leaders spend leadership capital on things that are a concern, something they’d like to change. That doesn’t make it not worth it, but it can be costly in the long run. 

Three Important Categories for Leaders

A few weeks ago, I was at the Drive Conference in Atlanta and heard Joel Thomas layout three important categories for leaders. Since then, I’ve been chewing on it because I think they are critical, and they also explain some frustrations we have as leaders if we don’t understand them.

Identity 

Identity is who you are. Your role in life as a husband, wife, parent, friend, boss, and child of God. 

These are also the roles you play outside of leadership and ministry; the hobbies that you have, the interests you give your time to. 

This is hard for us to think about, but this is the foundation of leadership. Too often, as leaders, our identity is wrapped up in what we do or our ability. 

Your identity is formed in a lot of ways that affect your leadership. 

It started years ago in your family of origin. It is formed in early experiences in school and friendships as you grow up. Your experiences and the heartaches shape it, as well as the celebrations you experience through life. 

If you grew up and learned not to trust people or that people can’t be trusted (real hurts), that shapes how you interact with people around you and how much trust you give to others. If you were raised to believe that what you did was the most important thing about you, that shapes how you go about leadership and teamwork.

Your story affects how you interact, show up, your motivations and how you trust or do not trust those around you. 

Connected to this is understanding how you are wired. You need to know your personality, motivations, desires, and fears. You also need to understand the things you carry from your past: shame, hurt and other parts of your story

Those things about you shape your identity as a leader and are easily overlooked.

Calling

Calling is what you feel like God has called you to do with your life. 

We define that differently. And we talk about how that calling comes to us in different ways, but we have it. 

Some feel called to be a pastor, in ministry, etc. You may feel called to leadership in the marketplace, a non-profit; your calling may be to eradicate something. But all of us have that calling. 

We get tripped when we confuse identity and calling. They are connected but not the same. 

And let me say this, being a pastor is a calling, but it’s also a job. A job that you will one day leave and retire from

In many ways, identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.  

John Onwuchekwa said, “You HAVE a calling FROM God. You ARE a child OF God.”

Assignment

Your assignment is what God has called you to now. Your assignment right now might be to be a lead pastor, associate pastor, church planter, elder, or volunteer. 

Your assignment is your current season. It may be just beginning. You may be ending an assignment and figuring out what’s next. 

Again, we can confuse our calling with an assignment. We can also confuse our assignment with our identity. Many pastors and leaders don’t know where they end and where their church begins, which leads to all kinds of unhealthy things. 

Assignments can last decades, and they can last for a year. Assignments can change at the drop of a hat when you aren’t aware. 

These categories are critical to understand and keep separate. If we confuse them, we will find ourselves in some dangerous places as leaders and watch our hearts erode

Practicing Silence & Solitude

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Practicing silence and solitude will take some practice. It is a rhythm that we need, but often we don’t take the time to practice. 

For some of us, we struggle to make time for ourselves and God; we struggle to put it into our schedule. Our lives are so busy and fast that sitting alone in silence is uncomfortable. Some of us struggle with silence because it is in the silence that we hear voices and stories from our past or the enemy. 

As we looked on Sunday, some of us say we aren’t sure God will speak to us or wants to speak to us.

As you make this a regular rhythm, here are some ideas from Ruth Haley Barton’s excellent book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God’s Transforming Presence:

  1. Identify your sacred time and space. Look for an area where you can be alone for a specific time, whether outside, at home or office. Does it help to use a candle? A cross to help you focus on the presence of God? Be sure to let family or co-workers know about your rhythm to have some time for silence and solitude. 
  2. Begin with a modest goal. Depending on your experience with this practice, and your life stage, take that into account as you think about your goal. Don’t feel the pressure to set a goal of sitting in silence for 15 minutes if you’ve never done this before. Barton reminds us, “The amount of time is not nearly as important as the regularity of this practice.”
  3. Settle into a comfortable yet alert physical position. Sit in a position that is comfortable but helps you to be alert. If you feel comfortable placing your hands up, do so.
  4. Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openness and desire for God. Choose a prayer phrase that describes your desire or need for God these days in the simplest terms. An example might be The Jesus Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” Pray this prayer several times as an entry into silence and a way of dealing with distractions.
  5. Sit and be with God. The goal of silence and solitude is to be aware of the presence and love of God.
  6. Close your time in silence with a prayer of gratitude for God’s presence. 

Lastly, be gracious with yourself. The goal is to be with God. If you think of something you need to do later in the day, either hand that over to God or write it on a pad next to you to get back to your practice. No matter how long it lasts or how long it goes, trust that it is enough and what God needs it to be for you.

The Goal of Spiritual Rhythms

Sunday I started a new series at CCC called Summer Reset: Reevaluating our Spiritual Rhythms

When new year’s goals and resolutions roll around almost every year, millions of people make a goal connected to their spiritual life. It might be reading their Bible more, praying more, or being more generous, which is fantastic. But often we fail to move the needle in those places, or at least to the degree we’d like to see.

Many times we get frustrated with ourselves, think something is wrong with us, and then fail to reengage with God.

Have you ever asked why that is? There are many reasons this happens, but I think one of them centers on our spiritual rhythms.

Have you ever asked yourself: What is the goal of spiritual rhythms or practices? When I read my Bible, pray, give, fast, or any other spiritual practice, what am I hoping will happen?

I like the word rhythm and practice because it helps me see life as a rhythm. Rhythms get the idea of movement, timing, seasons, and life in that way. Practices help me to know that I am practicing, I have not arrived. Every time I fast, feast, pray, sit in silence or join in community, I am practicing. And, if I don’t get it right (which is often) or if things feel stale (which happens), I am practicing. 

What is your goal when it comes to spiritual practices? To your spiritual rhythms?

If you think about the question, you will start to think of things like growing close to Jesus, growing in my faith, and learning about Jesus. And those are good answers. 

Spiritual practices are how we connect with God and relate to God. But spiritual practices also do something else; they are how we become more present to God, others, and ourselves. They reorient our hearts and lives around the things of God, which is crucial in our world that is so loud and easily distracts us. 

This is why the goal of spiritual practices is so important. If we don’t know the purpose, we won’t understand why we need to practice them or what we are trying to experience or accomplish when we practice them. We will also miss what God is trying to do in us, around us, and in those practices. We can read our Bible, pray, take a sabbath, and miss all that it could be.

While spiritual practices do many things, I think they bring about two important things:

  1. They are about our formation, becoming more like Christ, and how we walk with Christ as his disciples, as his apprentices, alongside him.
  2. They help us to be present with God, ourselves, and others. They help us be aware of what is happening in us, what is going on in others, and what God is doing. They help us not to miss things.

As we practice them, we look for how God is forming us. As we experience difficulty or struggle through practice, we look for what God is doing in us, how we are being shaped, and who we are being shaped into. 

The Healing Power of Jesus

Sunday, I wrapped up our series, Questions Jesus Asked, and looked at a question that Jesus asked a man who couldn’t walk at the pool of Bethesda.

Before getting to the question, some background.

In John 5, Jesus is walking by the pool on the Sabbath. The pool is a place where possibly hundreds of people who were blind, deaf, lame, etc., would wait for the waters to stir. They believed that an angel was stirring the waters when the waters stirred, and the first person in the pool would be healed. The man that Jesus encounters has sat there and waited for 38 years.

38 years!

I don’t know what it is like to be an invalid or live in chronic pain for 38 years. But imagine that.

This is important for the question that Jesus will ask this man.

I wonder, did this man give up hope? Did he think, this is what life is like?

I think this can be easy to do when we think about places in our lives that we’d like to change or heal. Some of this might be being realistic, but other times, it might be a way that we protect ourselves from disappointment.

Because this man can’t get into the water, it seems like he is all alone.

So, Jesus asks him in John 5:6, Do you want to get well?

For some of us, I think Jesus asks this question because we have to ask ourselves, Do I want to get well? Some of us don’t want to get well.  Or, we don’t want to get well if it requires anything of us. 

We want to heal from emotional wounds without doing any work. We want to recover from relational wounds without dealing with anything from our past. We want physical healing without doing any work. 

Now, sometimes there is nothing we can do to heal. But sometimes, we play a role in our healing. 

I wonder, would Jesus ask us, “Do you want to get well?”

Healing is not something to be flippant about. 

The thing we want healing from is something we have potentially carried and dealt with, prayed for, and cried out to God about for years. Just like this man. I wonder if Jesus is also asking, “Have you given up? Do you still believe healing is possible?”

There comes a moment when it is hard to believe healing is possible. There comes a moment where it is hard to believe and hold out hope that anything could change. 

Something else can happen. This man was here for 38 years. He knew what it was like to live like this. He knew how to get through the day as an invalid. It possibly was part of his identity. The thing we want healing from slowly becomes part of who we are. 

Our brokenness can become a part of our identity and what makes us who we are.

Jesus tells him in verse 8, “Pick up your mat and walk.” Instantly the man was healed; he picked up his mat and walked.

I wonder what this moment felt like. 

Instantly he got well. Did he feel it right away? Did he feel the muscles move in his legs right away?

Jesus healed him, but the man also had to believe and stand up. 

At some point in our faith journey, we will have to take a step of faith. We will have to trust the impossible and believe in the power of God. We will have to respond.

As we apply this question, here are some things I believe Jesus is asking us beneath the surface:

  • Do you want to get well?
  • Have you given up hope on healing?
  • Is there a part that you play in your healing?

The Things that Sneak into the Heart of a Pastor

Every week when a pastor preaches, they talk about the sin that binds the people in their church, the idols they battle, the lies they quickly fall into, and the truth of Jesus that frees them and destroys sin and death.

Pastors, by and large, often struggle to apply this same medicine to their sins.

Much of the identity and idols that pastors fall into are residing in what happens on a Sunday morning at church. High attendance, strong giving, and loud singing were good days. A pastor will float through Sunday night, post about all that God did on Instagram, and wake up ready to charge hell on Monday morning.

Low attendance, a down week in giving, few laughs, and no one sings, and the pastor will go home, look at social media, get jealous of the megachurch down the road, wake up Monday morning ready to resign, and get another job.

The difference between the two examples?

The heart of the pastor.

Over the years as a pastor, I’ve ridden this roller coaster more than I’d like to admit. It is easy to do.

So, how do you handle this as a pastor? How do you protect your heart?

1. Keep Sundays in perspective. What happens and what you feel as a pastor on a Sunday morning can be misleading. Just because it felt great doesn’t mean that it was. I’m amazed at how many times I feel like a sermon was so-so, and the response from people is, “That is exactly what I needed to hear.” And how many times do I get off the stage thinking I preached my greatest sermon, and no one says anything.

While Sunday matters, it does not tell the whole story of what God is doing in the life of your church or its people.

2. Be cautious about what you see on social media. A friend of mine who is revitalizing a church called me and said, “It’s so hard to watch the megachurch down the road baptize more people on Easter than we had in attendance.” And that’s a real struggle.

Be cautious about what you follow on social media and when you look at it. If you are exhausted and feeling down on Sunday night, Instagram may not be the best spot for your soul.

Another thing to remember is percentages. This is important. Every pastor would say that every life matters, but when you see thousands getting baptized or a massive move of God, it is hard not to feel jealous or inferior. But a megachurch and a church plant are not the same, just like the small start-up isn’t the same as Amazon. For example, if a church of 5,000 baptized 80 people on Easter, that is incredible, but they baptized 1.6% of their church. If your church of 250 baptized 10, that is 4%. Yes, they both matter the same, but, and this may seem silly to you, percentages have helped me to keep things in perspective when my heart gets out of line.

3. Celebrate what God does in the church down the road or across the country. The flip side of this coin is essential. Celebrate what God is doing in other churches, don’t despise it. Don’t say, “They must be watering down the gospel; that’s why they’re growing.” Just celebrate with them, and thank God for how His Spirit is at work.

4. Make sure you do something life-giving on Sunday or Monday. Many pastors, when they get home on Sundays, are entirely spent. While it is exhilarating, it is also exhausting to preach, counsel, pray with others, and often leave church shouldering the people’s burdens in your church. That is part of what a pastor does. But in that, you must make sure that you refill your tank.

Too many pastors go home and sit down in front of the TV or scroll on their phones. While there is a place for this, you need to schedule some life-giving things for you.

We try to take a long walk on Sunday afternoon to get outside and move our bodies. Some reading time or a family game, and one of our practices on many Sunday evenings is to have another family or friends over for dinner.

Whatever is life-giving for you, a hobby, exercise, community, reading, do that on Sunday or Monday. Refill yourself after pouring so much out.

5. Spend time with Jesus and friends. Friends and community are critical. And many pastors struggle with this. And I get it. It can be hard to have close friends within your church because you are always the pastor to them. It can be worked through, but you need friends, whether in your church or outside.

It would help if you refilled your soul after pouring it on a Sunday. On Mondays, make sure you spend time alone with Jesus and read a book that fills your soul that isn’t related to sermon prep. Grow yourself.

If recent studies are any indication (and I think they are), it will continue to be a challenge to be a pastor.

You must make protecting your heart a priority.

I Worry About Everything

All of us worry.

About everything.

We worry about a child, spouse, or friendships. We worry about our parents’ health, our kids’ health, our spouse’s health, our friends’ health, and our health. We worry about finances, education, job prospects, and making ends meet. We worry about conversations we’re going to have, discussions we’ve had, and conversations we only imagine having.

We worry when we get into a car, take a walk, go to the gym, and get on a plane, train or boat.

We worry.

We worry in the woods, in a cabin, in an apartment, or a beach house.

Around every corner are disasters and calamities.

Some of us worry more than others.

The other day I was talking to someone, and he told me, “But I’m anxious. I was born this way. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

As we talked, he had a lot of anxiety. Much of it was about real things, but some of it was about imagined things, things that had not happened.

Most of our anxiety is about imagined things. Yes, we worry about things that are happening, but the conversation we’re worrying about having we haven’t had yet. Our kids haven’t walked through all of life that we have imagined for them yet, but we still worry.

As my friend and I talked, I asked him about some of the promises of God, like Jesus telling us in Matthew 6:25 to not worry about your life.

He shook his head and said, “But this is how I am. What am I supposed to do?”

What is so beautiful in Matthew 6 is that Jesus doesn’t berate us, guilt us, or scold us.

He simply asks, “Why do you worry?” What does worry add to your life? Does worry add to your joy?

Jesus wants us to evaluate our worries. This is incredibly important and powerful. It helps us to see what we focus on, and what gets our hearts and attention.

Think for a moment about what you worry about. If it helps, list it out on a piece of paper. Here are some questions to ask about those things:

  • What is worry adding to your life?
  • Are you fully trusting God with those things? Those relationships?
  • What is your worry revealing about your focus?

The reality is, my friend (like many of us) is a worrier about everything. That is his tendency.

So I asked him, “What is a sin, something in the Bible that we’re told not to do, that you don’t struggle with?”

Once he told me, I asked, “What if I told you people think they are just that way in the same way you think you are worrier, and that’s who you are?”

All of us have some tendency.

Some of us are more prone to struggle with sexual sin, greed, being a workaholic, or co-dependent in relationships. We don’t struggle with all those things.

I know that some of you read that last sentence and thought, “I don’t struggle with that.”

Just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean you get a pass, or you can disregard a verse about that or think that you can’t change that in your life. Jesus can.

Worrying, like many other sins, is a matter of focus. That is why Jesus points us to focus on the things of God, the kingdom of God and then, all that we need, will be added to us.

What the Storms of Life Teach Us

One of the things that many people struggle with at various points in their spiritual journey is wondering where they stand with God. This can look like working to feel and know God’s love, wondering if there is something you have done or left undone that is affecting your relationship with God, or even asking, “Can you or have you lost your salvation?” These struggles are real and can be debilitating. 

I remember in college feeling the constant struggle of wondering where I stood with God. I asked if this sin or that sin did me in. Looking back, I realize now that I didn’t have a clear picture of God’s grace and mercy and the power of sin. But that doesn’t make the questions any less painful in the moment. 

Thankfully, Jesus tells us some important things related to salvation and being able to have certainty about where we stand with God. 

In Luke 6 and Matthew 7, after giving what is known as The sermon on the mount, Jesus answers this question. Now, the context is critical. The sermon on the mount is where Jesus lays out what life is like in the kingdom of God, where Jesus is King, and we follow after him. He talks about what is truly blessed in the kingdom of God, which is different than the world around us. He talks about money, sexuality, judgment, and so much more. But all of that is in the context of following Jesus as Lord, Savior, and King. 

The first question a follower of Jesus must answer is, “Is Jesus my Savior, Lord, and King?”

Jesus asks in Luke 6: “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and don’t do the things I say?” What is Jesus referring to when he says, what I say? I think he is referring to what He has just said in the sermon on the mount. Jesus says a disciple listens to the words of God and acts on them, does them. They don’t push it aside, think it was for someone else, or it doesn’t apply to them. 

So, the first question we need to ask ourselves is, “Do I read my Bible and do what it says?” While this seems straightforward, it is easy to get out of it. 

  • Think back over your recent times in God’s word. Has there been something you read that you didn’t think applied to you?
  • Has there been a moment when you felt like the Holy Spirit was moving you to do something, say something, or not do something, and you brushed it off?
  • Take a moment to confess that and bring that to our God of grace. 

Then, to help us apply this on a deeper level. Jesus tells a story about two men who build houses and get hit by a storm. One of the men built his house deep into the rock and had a solid foundation, and his house stood. This man, Jesus said, “Listened and acted on the words of God.” The second man built a house on the sand that collapsed when the storm came. This person heard the words of God but did nothing with them. 

Take a moment and pull out a journal or a piece of paper:

  • Think back on a recent storm you walked through. It could be health, relational, at work, or at home. Write out what happened. 
  • What did you learn about yourself from that storm? What did you learn about God from that storm?
  • Would you say that your faith was built on Jesus and stood the storm, or did it collapse?

Jesus tells us that one of the ways we see our faith is how it responds in a storm. 

A storm has a way of revealing where we stand and what is happening in us. It shows how quickly we turn to God or how easily we try to manage our way through a storm.