Posted on

Tuesday Mind Dump…

by

  • It is hard to believe it is Christmas week.
  • Even though I’ve spent 9 Christmas’s in Tucson, it is still always odd when it doesn’t snow or get below zero. Not mad about it or complaining as many of my friends are shoveling snow.
  • Just odd.
  • I’ve been blown away by the generosity and excitement of our church around our Christmas offering and 30 Days of Love.
  • So cool to see.
  • Katie and I spent Sunday afternoon walking around the mall shopping.
  • Blown away by how many cars were there, but it was a lot of fun.
  • Yes, shopping from your couch is easier.
  • But walking around a mall let’s me talk to my wife while doing it (without my kids).
  • Sometimes, when you have 5 kids, you have to go to a crowded mall to have time alone.
  • Parents feel me on that.
  • I finally put together my list of 10 favorite books of the year.
  • Yes, this year is only 10 not 16.
  • Why?
  • I read less books in 2016 than before and I didn’t have 16 favorites.
  • I’ll post those next week.
  • One book I just started reading that isn’t on the list because I didn’t finish it yet (but would’ve been near the top) is Making Sense of God: An Invitation to the Skeptical by Tim Keller.
  • Really, really helpful.
  • And I’ll share my favorite 9 albums on instagram later this week.
  • If you don’t follow me on instagram, you can do that here.
  • Last Friday we had our staff and elder Christmas party at my house.
  • This is always fun, but this year was by far my favorite one.
  • I feel like the last year or so we have really emphasized community among our leaders, not just accomplishing a mission and the party, the feeling in our house showed that.
  • We laughed so hard throughout the night.
  • Such a blessing for me.
  • Speaking of our team, we announced on Sunday that Cory Bull is joining our team part-time as our Worship Director.
  • Love seeing the way God has brought Cory to our church at just the right time.
  • We also announced on Sunday what our next series will be and I can’t wait!
  • Katie and I will be teaching a series called Mr. & Mrs. Better Half. 
  • So excited for this and what God is going to do through it.
  • Well, time to finish my Christmas Eve message.
  • Merry Christmas!
Posted on

Loving Your Neighbor

by

Serving is something some of us do well and others do grudgingly. It is easier to do when it is someone we love or someone we like, or who is like us or can give back to us. We love those people and we love serving those people.

Yet according to the gospels, lots of people love those people.

What makes being a follower of Jesus different, and one of the evidences of a changed life, is a willingness to serve people who can’t repay us, people not like us, people who are difficult or need a lot of grace.

In fact, when we serve we remind ourselves of the grace that God extended to us. You are hard to love, your life was (and maybe still is) a mess, you can’t repay God (although you try with all your might). Yet, God extended and continues to extend grace to you. Why? Love.

Everything starts with the love God has for you. Being loved by God is hard to wrap our minds around. What does God expect in return? What do you have to do so that God will love you? Will He hold out on love for you like a parent did? Will He love you more if you perform well? These all make sense in our minds, and yet all these things miss the character and depth of God’s love for us.

God doesn’t love you more based on your performance, and He doesn’t hold out on you. He gives His love and grace to you through His Son, and you did nothing outside of being broken and stuck in your sin for Him to extend it to you.

What did the man in the Good Samaritan parable do to get help? Well, he needed to need help. Right now God has placed someone in your life who needs help. Someone who is stuck and sitting on the side of the road of life unsure of how to move forward or wondering if they can move forward. Maybe they feel like their life, marriage or career is over. (Remember, if no one helped the man on the road to Jericho in Luke 10, there’s a good chance he would’ve died.)

Who will help that person in your life?

In our selfishness, we think someone else will come along. Yet, God sent you. You are there. You are their friend, their child, their parent, they are in your community group, they work next to you. You are there.

Will God send someone else if we overlook them? Maybe. God sent three people to help the man on the side of the road in Luke 10.

But our call, based on the love God has extended to us, is to extend that same love to those around us.

Is that messy? Yes. Is that easy? No. Will that cost you something? Yes. Is the grace God extended to you messy? Yes. Was it easy? No. Did it cost God something? Yes.

This week, today, tomorrow, you have a tangible opportunity to show someone what the grace and love of God are like. The grace and love of God that have been given to you.

Posted on

Pastor, If you Burnout…

by

burnout

Pastor, if you burnout, you have no one to blame.

I know, that sounds absolutely depressing and accusatory.

But for pastors it’s true.

Why?

Before I answer that, let’s back up.

Why do leaders burnout?

Why do leaders burnout?

Click To Tweet

They burnout because they don’t get enough sleep, they say yes to too many things, they don’t eat properly, they preach too many times a year, they have too many meetings, they don’t recharge themselves well, they don’t do anything relaxing or fun, they don’t take a Sunday off, they work too many hours and they don’t deal with the emotional side of ministry well.

10 reasons most pastors burnout.

Click To Tweet

So, whose fault is this?

Well, if you suffer from these, your first response will be to say that your church puts a lot of pressure on you (which they might), your elders have high expectations for you (which they do), so it must be them.

Your kids want to be in every sport, and you and your wife want to make sure your kids get all the things you didn’t have.

So if you burnout, whose fault is it? If you are tired, whose fault is it?

Stop for a minute and imagine you and you alone are standing in front of a mirror.

If you burnout, that’s your fault.

Click To Tweet

That’s whose fault it is.

That’s who’s responsible.

Re-read this paragraph: Pastors burnout because they don’t get enough sleep, they say yes to too many things, they don’t eat properly, they preach too many times a year, they have too many meetings, they don’t recharge themselves well, they don’t do anything relaxing or fun, they don’t take a Sunday off, they work too many hours and they don’t deal with the emotional side of ministry well.

All of those things are on you.

Does anyone make you get up at a certain hour or stay up until a certain hour? Does anyone make you say yes? Who puts food in your mouth? Who decides the preaching calendar? Who makes your meeting schedule? Who prevents you from doing something fun? Who keeps you from taking a Sunday off? Who decided not to have a friend outside of their church they could vent to about the emotional side of ministry?

The answer to those questions?

You.

Let me give you an example if you are still skeptical.

Right now you’re reading this blog (thanks for that). Does your church know what you are doing? Does your church know if you are reading a blog to better yourself, working on a sermon, counseling someone, taking a nap or researching for fantasy football?

They have no idea.

Your church doesn’t know what you eat, when you sleep and how you recharge. And for the most part, they don’t care, because they expect you to be responsible and care for yourself.

You are responsible for your health, your relationship with God, your emotional and physical energy, for making sure you relax, take your days off, take a vacation. You are responsible for that.

So if you burnout, that’s on you.

Maybe another example will help.

This happened to me recently. I had over-scheduled my preaching calendar (so I preached too many weeks in a row), I had too many trips on top of each other, our kids were in a lot of activities, I was angry and hurt at a few people that I didn’t deal with as quickly as I should have, and I had put too many meetings on my calendar.

I was tired and I got upset, blamed some other people and talked about the high expectations that people have for me. Then my wife reminded me that I’m in charge of all that stuff.

So are you.

Take responsibility and control of it.

Remember: too many pastors give control of their lives and calendars to others.

Too many pastors give control of their lives and calendars to others.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

The Weight & Joy of Being a Pastor: People Under You are Counting on You

by

Recently I’ve been sharing some joys and weights of being a pastor. While being a pastor isn’t necessarily harder than other jobs, it is different. In fact, I cringe when a pastor says that they have the hardest job in the world, but that’s another topic.

I’ve been sharing these so that those who attend church can have a better understanding of what their pastor walks through and how to best support their pastor, but to also help pastors process what they live with and how to handle it.

To see the weights and joys I’ve already talked about, go here: Preaching God’s word every week, You can’t change people and God’s call on your life and Seeing life change.

pastor

Weight #3: People Under You Are Counting on You

While everyone has people in their lives that are counting on them, I’ve noticed a different feeling among pastors. While you have those who work for you, you have to worry about their livelihood, paying salaries and the bills of a church. You also have your board that you are a part of who oversees you.

There is also the unwritten expectations that people have in your church. These are always the most dangerous and toughest to handle.

Whether it is from their last church, what they think the Bible says about a pastor or what they saw someone on TV say or do when it comes to preaching, all of these things converge in people’s minds, and they want you to be all of these things and more. The reality is if you had your church list five things a pastor is supposed to do, you are only gifted at one or two of them. While team ministry is the biblical approach and the one that works, it doesn’t make it any easier.

Everyday a pastor ends his day with this knowledge: there is someone else I can call, someone else I can counsel, another meeting I can go to, I can write/research more of my message. There is always one more thing.

Whether this pressure actually comes from people, our own thinking, or both, it is real.

One area this bleeds into and can cause a great deal of pain is in the pastor’s family. Expectations that people have for the wife and kids of a pastor are often so overblown it is crazy. The pastor’s wife is not an employee. If she is, then she can do her job, but if she isn’t paid, she is just like everyone else in the church. I’m often asked what a pastor’s wife should do in a church. The answer: what everyone else does. She’s a follower of Jesus like everyone else is. Yes, her role is unique and different from others, but she is a follower of Jesus before she is anything else, so that shapes what she does.

One thing I’ve learned is to be very honest about expectations (as honest as I can be). I once ran into a situation where a group of leaders had an expectation for me that actually went against what the Bible calls pastors to do. This happens a lot and is very difficult to bring up.

Here are some things you can do:

1. Know who you actually answer to. What does your immediate supervisor ask of you? As long as they are on your side and feel like you are hitting the agreed upon expectations, that can save a lot of pain.

2. You need to have some clear boundaries. Too many pastors have absolutely no boundaries when it comes to their schedules, meetings, e-mails and phone calls. On my day off, on family day, the computer stays off, the phone is off and I don’t have meetings. This can bleed over into being lazy, but for me, when it is time to work, I come with my game face on and throw down. But when it is sabbath time and family time, I enjoy every moment of it.

3. Teach your church. You will also have to teach your church what a pastor does, what they are supposed to do and what the church is supposed to do. Many of the things people think a pastor should do, in reality, the church is supposed to do those things. If just the pastor did those things, we would actually rob the church of being able to use their gifts.

4. Talk with others who understand. No matter what job you have, it is helpful to spend time with others who have the same role and responsibility. Only a lawyer can really understand what it is like to be a lawyer. The same is true for pastors. Get some friends who are pastors so that you can have someone who understands what you are walking through and can give wisdom from that perspective.

5. It’s not your church anyway. At the end of the day, while this weight is real, we as pastors often make it heavier than it is supposed to be. It is not your church. Those are not your people. Yes, you are responsible and accountable, but it isn’t yours. You aren’t building it, you didn’t die for it, you didn’t rise from the dead for it. Stop acting like you did.

Posted on

How to Create Your Ideal Year

by

Do you know where you’re going next year? Do you know what you hope to accomplish?

It’s that time of year when people sit and make New Year’s Resolutions, dream up possibilities for the coming year, or pick a word or a verse for the year that will guide their way.

Sadly, most of the resolutions and dreams made right now will be over and done with by February. It doesn’t have to be that way. It is possible to think through the coming year and accomplish them.

next year

Before jumping into the next year, though, it is important to look back. In his book The Catalyst Leader, Brad Lomenick has some helpful questions to review your year:

8 questions to ask yourself at the end of the year.

Click To Tweet

  1. What are the 2-3 themes that personally define me?
  2. What people, books, accomplishments, or special moments created highlights for me recently?
  3. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 in the following areas of focus: vocationally, spiritually, family, relationally, emotionally, financially, physically, recreationally.
  4. What am I working on that is BIG for the next year and beyond?
  5. As I move into this next season or year, is a majority of my energy being spent on things that drain me or things that energize me?
  6. How am I preparing for 10 years from now? 20 years from now?
  7. What 2-3 things have I been putting off that I need to execute on before the end of the year?
  8. Is my family closer than a year ago? Am I a better friend than a year ago? If not, what needs to change immediately?

8 questions to ask yourself at the end of the year.

Click To Tweet

Here are six ways to set goals, keep them and accomplish them.

6 ways to set goals, keep them and accomplish them.

Click To Tweet

1. Be realistic. If your goal is to lose weight, losing 20 pounds in two weeks isn’t likely or realistic. It’s possible if you just stop eating, but that sounds miserable. The excitement of what could be is easy to get caught up in, but the reality that you will all of a sudden get up at 5am four days a week when you have been struggling to get up by 7am isn’t realistic.

2. Set goals you want to keep. I have had friends set a goal, and they are miserable. Now, sometimes our goals will have some pain. When I lost 130 pounds, it wasn’t fun to change my eating habits, but the short term pain was worth it. The same goes for debt. It will require some pain to get out of debt. You have to walk a fine line here. If it is too painful, you will not want to keep it. This is why our goals are often more of a process than a quick fix.

3. Make them measurable. Don’t make a goal to lose weight, get out of debt or read your Bible more. Those aren’t measurable. How much weight? How much debt? How much more will you read your Bible? Make them measurable so you can see how you are doing.

4. Have a plan. Once you have your goal, you need a plan. If it’s weight loss, what will you do? If it’s debt, how will you get there? What are the steps? If it’s Bible reading, what plan are you using? No goal is reached without a plan.

5. Get some accountability. Equally important is accountability. One of the things I did when I weighed 285 pounds and started mountain biking was I bought some bike shorts that were too small and embarrassing to wear. This gave me accountability to keep riding. Your accountability might be a spouse or a friend, but it needs to be someone that can actually push you. Maybe you need to go public with your goal and invite people to help you stay on track.

6. Remove barriers to your goals. Your goals have barriers. That’s why you have to set goals in the first place. It might be waking up, food, credit cards, working too late or wasting time on Facebook. Whatever it is that is going to keep you from accomplishing it, remove it. Get rid of the ice cream and credit cards, and move your alarm clock so you have to get out of bed. Whatever it is, do it. Life is too short to be miserable and not accomplish your goals.

How to create your ideal year.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

The Weight & Joy of Being a Pastor: Seeing Life Change

by

As with any job, there are highs and lows. Being a pastor is no different. There are joys and weights, as I call them.

Recently I’ve been sharing some of those to help people who attend church understand what it is like to be a pastor and how they can support their pastor and his family, but also to encourage pastors to keep going and not give up, as so many do.

You can see the weights and joys I’ve shared already here: Preaching God’s word every week, You can’t change people and God’s call on your life.

Pastor, if you’re forgetting why you’re a pastor, here’s a reason why.

Click To Tweet

pastor

Joy #2: Seeing Life Change

All the critics, things not going as you planned them, sermons flopping, services falling apart, electronics or videos not going as planned. All of these things happen and are inevitable.

Seeing lives changed, marriages saved, singles choosing integrity, people getting out of debt, Christians being baptized, people finding God, addicts getting out of addiction.

Makes it all worth it.

I think too many pastors stay focused on the negative and never get to see lives changed. Another reason pastors and churches don’t see lives changed is because they don’t expect it, they don’t pray for it and they don’t sacrifice for it. Seeing life change is messy. It is not clean. There are no defined categories. You will have people in your church who swear (at church), who smoke (at church), who will talk about getting drunk, sleeping around and getting high (like everyone is doing it, which in their world, everyone is doing it).

To see life change you must expect it, pray for it, put up with the critics and then see God work. I love getting phone calls from people at Revolution who tell me with a huge smile, “I didn’t get drunk last night,” “I haven’t gotten high in three days,” “I haven’t looked at porn in a week.”

It never gets old.

While those might seem like small steps, and many would think, “They shouldn’t anyway” (which is true), those are big steps for the person.

I think too many times as Christians we spend so much time focusing on brokenness and sin and not enough time focusing on life change and grace. This isn’t a way of being soft on sin, but think for a minute how much time you spend focusing on God’s grace versus God’s judgment.

That focus comes through in your preaching, your counseling and your outlook on people. Do you expect God to work in someone’s life? Do you expect change to happen? Do you believe it is possible for yourself and for those you lead?

If you don’t, then you are missing out on one of the joys God has for you as a pastor.

Some encouragement for pastors today.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

How to Maximize a Retreat Day

by

Do you ever take any time for yourself? Do you ever sit before God in silence, listening? Not leading or doing, but resting and being.

Do you ever take any time for yourself?

Click To Tweet

For all of us, resting is crucial. Stopping, letting go, not using a list, not thinking about the future, projects, people or vision is important, but we seldom make time for it.

If we do, it feels awkward and clumsy.

retreat day

The question becomes, how do you maximize a sabbath or a retreat day?

How to take a retreat day as a leader.

Click To Tweet

I was asked recently by a campus ministry leader how to unplug for 48 hours and recharge. As I thought about it, I thought I’d share some of those ideas with you:

  • Have an idea of what you hope to get out of it.
  • Make sure it is realistic so that you aren’t depressed afterwards if you don’t accomplish that.
  • Are you trying to rest, recharge, connect with God? Have a clear goal for it.
  • Turn off everything electronic. I would start this before the retreat day or time off.
  • Have a plan for what you will do after the retreat day to reengage work and relationships. The reentry can be the hardest.
  • Go somewhere that is recharging for you. I like to go up to the mountains and walk around and sit.
  • If you’re going to read a book, read one that enriches your soul, not a ministry book.
  • Listen to music that connects you to God and helps you to worship.
  • Schedule it, block it off and don’t let anything interrupt it (unless it is a massive emergency).

I’d also encourage you to use this time to evaluate yourself, your heart, your leadership, etc.

Here are some questions I’ve used that might be helpful (some of these came from The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal):

  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how fully engaged am I at work? What is standing in my way?
  • How closely does my everyday behavior match my values and serve my mission? Where are the disconnects?
  • How fully am I embodying my values and vision for myself at work? At home? In my community? Where am I falling short?
  • How effectively are the choices that I’m making physically – habits of nutrition, exercise, sleep and the balance of stress and recovery – serving my key values?
  • How consistent with my values is my emotional response in any given situation? Is it different at work than it is at home, and if so, how?
  • To what degree do I establish clear priorities and sustain attention to tasks? How consistent are those priorities with what I say is most important to me?
  • How do my habits of sleeping, eating and exercising affect my available energy?
  • How much negative energy do I invest in defense spending – frustration, anger, fear, resentment, envy – as opposed to positive energy utilized in the service of growth and productivity?
  • How much energy do I invest in myself, and how much in others, and how comfortable am I with that balance? How do those closest to me feel about the balance I’ve struck?
  • How much energy do I spend worrying about, feeling frustrated by and trying to influence events beyond my control?
  • Finally, how wisely and productively am I investing my energy?
  • What’s my current word from the Lord? (It’s not new, but what is God whispering to you lately?)
  • What’s my current obedience to the Lord? (There can be sacrifice without obedience, but there can’t be obedience without sacrifice.)
  • What is my current awe before the Lord? Will I get on God’s agenda and trust Him to take care of my agenda?
How to maximize a day off.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

The Communication Secrets of Craig Groeschel & 8 Other Posts You Should Read this Weekend

by

leader

Each Friday I share some posts that I’ve come across in the last week. They range in topics and sources but they are all things I’ve found interesting or helpful that I hope will be interesting and helpful to you. Here are 9 posts I came across this week that challenged my thinking or helped me as a leader, pastor, husband and father:

  1. Don’t Brag At Long Sermon Prep; Get Efficient by Joe Hoagland (via Rookie Preacher)
  2. 3 Parenting Myths We Are All Tempted To Believe by Tim Challies
  3. 7 Books That Changed My Life by Russell Moore
  4. The Top 17 Books Christian Leaders Should Be Reading In 2017 by Brian Dodd
  5. Praying For My Son (Who Was Adopted) by Adam Weber
  6. 8 Principles Of Great Preaching by Brian Moss
  7. How Your Control Freak Tendencies Stunt Your Church’s Growth by Carey Nieuwhof
  8. The Communication Secrets of Craig Groeschel (via Preaching Donkey)
  9. 10 Discipleship Questions for you for 2017 by Chuck Lawless
Posted on

Thursday Mind Dump…

by

mind dump

  • I know, it’s Thursday and I normally do this at the beginning of the week, but that’s the kind of week it has been.
  • I got to spend Monday and Tuesday in Seattle with Acts 29 US West at a conference with Kevin Peck.
  • It was drinking from a leadership fire hose.
  • I walked away with so many ideas and things to improve on at Revolution.
  • It was also confirming in some ways because it highlighted areas we know we are weak on and have started to make changes to those areas.
  • Can’t wait to dive into those.
  • It was hard being away from Revolution the last 2 Sundays, but incredibly helpful to get some rest, pull back and do some praying and planning about the future of our church.
  • I always come back from time away refreshed and recharged.
  • I also can’t wait to get back to preaching this week and kick off our brand new series Being Rich.
  • I’m also so excited about all the things Revolution is doing this December in our community.
  • The leadership group I lead on Wednesday mornings at Revolution is about to start going through one of my favorite leadership books The Making of a Leader: Recognizing the Lessons and Stages of Leadership Development. If you haven’t read it, stop what you’re reading and read it.
  • I’m going to finish up my cover up tattoo tomorrow.
  • Can’t wait to share it with you guys to see it.
  • I still can’t believe it is December 1st.
  • Can you?
  • I love this time of year.
  • The lights, the smells, the cold, the family time.
  • Christmas specials with my kids.
  • I keep seeing everyone post about getting their tickets for Rogue One.
  • I haven’t yet.
  • I have a friend who is seeing it twice in the first 2 days.
  • That’s dedication.
  • While this past weekend for college football was great, I love championship weekend.
  • I’m also hoping for true chaos for the college football playoffs so they can expand it to 8 and have a real system.
  • I can’t believe 12 people pick the playoffs.
  • That’s almost worse than a computer.
  • Rant done.
  • Back to it…
Posted on

The Weight & Joy of Being a Pastor: God’s Call on Your life

by

Recently I’ve been sharing some joys and weights of being a pastor. While being a pastor isn’t necessarily harder than other jobs, it is different. In fact, I cringe when a pastor says that they have the hardest job in the world, but that’s another topic.

If you’ve been reading along, you might think that being a pastor is only misery, but there are a lot of joys that go along with being a pastor.

In fact, if you are a pastor this might be just the reminder you need.

pastoring

Joy #1: God’s call on your life.

One of the many joys of being a pastor.

Click To Tweet

While there is a call on all Christians lives to live a certain way, for a certain goal and to invite others into this, scripture is clear that God calls certain ones to lead his people. It does not mean that pastors are better than everyone else; they are just called to lead the people of God. In fact, this calling means they get judged twice. (James 3:1)

God’s call on your life (in any capacity) is humbling. That God would ask me to do anything is crazy. If we’re honest, we would all agree that God should call someone else or come up with a plan B. But we are plan A without a plan B. That God would even think I can fulfill his call and fulfill his will is humbling.

God’s call also gives us a specific way to live and a specific thing that we are trying to accomplish. It means life is not an accident, that we are not mistakes, but that God has set us apart from others. This means that as a follower of Jesus, God has placed a call on your life to do something. Your role is to figure out what it is and then do it.

God’s call is also important as a leader because when life gets tough, when critics get loud, when God’s voice seems silent, your call is what will keep you going. There have been countless times for Katie and me that the only reason we stuck with being a pastor was because of God’s call on our lives.

Another aspect that too many leaders miss is that your personal call must also be your spouse’s call (if you are married). In fact, I would venture to say that your spouse almost needs to feel this call more than you do. They will feel the pain more than you do, they will want to defend you, they will feel the hurt more than you do. When something happens to you, you can brush it off. But when something happens to someone you love, it is hard to brush it off. Too many pastors get into ministry and drag their spouse with them and use God’s call as a club to say, “We have to. God called me.” He may have, but you also chose to get married, and they need to be on board with it. Your call must be their call, or you will not be in ministry or married for long.

I know that last paragraph makes this seem like a weight instead of a joy, but that is one of my soapboxes because we have talked to countless pastors who dragged their spouses into ministry.

If you are unsure of God’s call on your life to vocational ministry, that doesn’t make you a second class Christian. All Christians aren’t called to be pastors, but that doesn’t mean God hasn’t called you.

If you are tired right now as a pastor, worn down and are unsure if you can go on, your call to ministry is one of the things that will get you through. Remember that moment, that clarity, that excitement. Cling to that and the one who gifted you and called you to what you are going through and what is ahead.

God’s call on your life will get you through the difficult times of pastoring.

Click To Tweet