Tag Archives: bible

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How to Figure Out God’s Will for Your Life

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Photo by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash

When people talk about figuring out God’s will or hearing the voice of God, we tend to get very mysterious and talk about it in ways that, when we step back, seem odd. 

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well. 

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, open and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few. 

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasure, time, and talents.

I believe that if we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will be doing what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

Pay attention to what the Bible says to you.

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During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you. 

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise, and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of shoulds and coulds.

Pay attention to wise counsel.

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3. When you feel like God is speaking…act. 

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

3 ways to hear the voice of God.

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Finding God in the Valleys of Life (Psalm 23)

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green and brown mountains under white sky during daytime

When you think of God, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

For many of us, God is someone that is off in the distance. Watching life unfold, He may be involved here and there, but we often have this picture of an absent parent. Either physically or emotionally absent. We wonder if He is involved in our lives, how involved is He?

Another way to think about this, how do you experience God?

Some experience God as accepting of every decision we make, merely cheering us on in life, or maybe we experience Him as judgmental and filled with wrath. Ready to strike us dead if we drop the ball one more time.

According to A.W. Tozer, “What comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you.”

What comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you. -A.W. Tozer

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Why would that be so important? 

The reality is, what we think about God determines how we pray to God, how we live our lives, and, more importantly, it determines what our relationship with God is like. 

For example, if you believe that God gives good gifts and is generous, or if you think God is holding out on you, that determines what you pray for. 

If we’re honest, whether you have a church background or not, most of us see God as distant.

Especially in this current moment.

As I’ve watched the news this week, scrolling through social media, I am dumbfounded by it all. I am left wondering, where is God in all this? What is God doing right now?

Why is this happening?

And yet, words that many of us know by heart still ring true from Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff – they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

In this culture, 2500 years ago, a shepherd was so much more than that. A shepherd could also be a king. David was a shepherd, and a king. He is telling us who God is and what God is like, that you and I are under the rule of God as king, but also in the care of God as a shepherd.

you and I are under the rule of God as king, but also in the care of God as a shepherd.

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A king and shepherd take care of their people, their flock. A shepherd would sleep at the opening of the gate when the sheep slept to keep them safe. They made sure the sheep were at peace, at rest, and had whatever they needed. David is telling us this is what God is like. This is who He is.

Because God is close, we are never alone.

Because God is close, we are never alone.

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What do we have because God is close?

Everything we need. We lack nothing. Because God is my shepherd king, because God is close, I have everything I need. One of our struggles, at least mine, and maybe you can relate, I may have everything I need, but what about what I want? Because God is close, he knows what we need. And because He is a good king, a good shepherd, if he withholds from us, it’s because he knows what is best for us. 

What does God do?

He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

God leads me. God leads us. God is in front, guiding our steps, protecting us, seeing what is ahead, what dangers and good things lie ahead. And he leads me to rest, to refreshment. 

I don’t know about you, but right now, this image in verse 2 is something my soul longs for. Green pastures, quiet waters, refreshing. 

These last few months have been hard on all of us, and in the presence of  God, we are made new, we are recharged. 

Green pastures and water are what sheep need to live, to keep going. 

Do you know one of our most significant needs and also our biggest struggle? Rest. Stopping. Slowing down. This is why you get sick the first few days of vacation because you sprint into it. 

David says, because God is close, we can rest. 

Because God is close, we can rest.

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Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. To stop. 

Because God is our good king and shepherd, we can stop pushing, stop pushing our kids, stop pushing our agendas, stop comparing ourselves to others. To just rest. 

But he leads us to plenty of food, green pastures. 

The funny thing is how much we are like sheep.

Sheep do not naturally lie down and rest. They are easily scared animals, easily stressed out, they run, freak out, worry, are anxious, and they are crowd followers. If one sheep goes into the water or walks off the cliff, so do the rest of the sheep. 

Now, think about the last few years and this last month. Between covid, masks, vaccines, the election, Ukraine: have you been scared? Stressed out? Have you run from anything or anyone? Freaked out? Worried? Anxious? 

I have!

I need Psalm 23; I need this hope that I have a good king and shepherd who leads me and protects me and knows what I need and guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

What does God do when life is the darkest? What is God doing right now in the midst of war and hatred? What is God doing as I lay in bed scared for what tomorrow will bring?

Look at verse 4: Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

There is a phrase that is easy to overlook. That we walk through the darkest valley. There is an end to the valley. There is an end to the darkness.

And we can have that confidence because God is close, we are never alone.

Because God is close, we are never alone.

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Phones, Loneliness and Our Deep Need to Connect

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Recently, our family had to quarantine again because of being exposed to covid, and a few of our kids tested positive with covid.

When covid first started, the idea of quarantine sounded nice. Staying home, meetings on zoom.

But then, once you are in it, the reality of being at home, alone, sets in. Eventually, you run out of things to read, things to watch, and things to do. You are reminded how much you crave connection with people. How much we need others and how much we enjoy the routines of life.

Here’s why this matters so much: Loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. Even before covid, but I think that covid has exasperated it.

Recently, in researching a sermon, I came across these stats:

  • 1 out of every 4 Americans says they are always lonely or lacking friends.
  • 50% say no one knows them well.
  • More than half a million people under 40 haven’t left their house in the last 6 months in Japan. That is incredible. That was before covid!
  • With social media, on-demand TV, door dash, uber eats, we can stay in.

In fact, researchers have found that this increased loneliness in our culture, especially among students, leads to an increased sense of life that is meaningless and devoid of purpose.

As a parent, I’ve spent a good bit of time researching relationships, social media, phones, and loneliness as I help my kids interact with others and prepare for the future.

The effects of phones and social media on teenagers.

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Do you know, the younger you are, the more likely you are to suffer from loneliness and not be truly present?

According to Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT (so not against technology), in her book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, this happens for several reasons:

  • Studies show the rise of social media, people getting a phone younger and younger, has led to an increase in loneliness, an inability to hold a conversation and be present with others.
  • For the first time, our whole lives are seen on a screen through social media. Every embarrassing thing we’ve done will show up as a Facebook memory.
  • The typical cellphone user touches his or her phone 2,617 time every day. That’s the average. The extreme is as high as 5,000 times a day.
  • When Turkle’s research team asked teenagers and young adults why they are on their phones at mealtimes while sitting at the table with others, do you know the number one answer? My parents did it.

And what is fascinating about our culture is how we can be alone in a crowd, because of our phones. Turkle said, “Remember the power of your phone. It’s not an accessory. It’s a psychologically potent device that changes not just what you do but who you are. Don’t automatically walk into every situation with a device in hand: When going to our phones is an option, we find it hard to turn back to each other, even when efficiency or politeness would suggest we do just that. The mere presence of a phone signals that your attention is divided, even if you don’t intend it to be. It will limit the conversation in many ways: how you’ll listen, what will be discussed, the degree of connection you’ll feel. Rich conversations have difficulty competing with even a silent phone. To clear a path for conversation, set aside laptops and tablets. Put away your phone.”

So, how do we handle quarantine and our phones?

While some people will throw their phones away or get off social media, and if that’s you, that is great.

But we need to set some limits. In the same way that we set screen time limits for our kids, we need to do the same.

How to use your phone during covid.

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Here are a few ideas:

  • The next time you think of texting someone, call them or facetime them.
  • Read your bible before you look at your phone, email, or social media.
  • Turn your phone off an hour before bed and read a book. This will help your mind to relax and prepare to sleep.
  • Take a walk without your phone.

This is a hard time but can also be a great time for connection if we are intentional about it.

How to be more intentional with your phone and social media.

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Why Read the Bible

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If you go to church, you’ve heard a pastor say you should read your Bible. But why? What is the point?

If you want to be a better parent, spouse or leader, aren’t there books more helpful than the Bible?

This especially comes up when pastors are surprised that our REVcommunities (our small groups) discuss the sermon. They tell me how mad their people would be if they couldn’t discuss a parenting or prayer book. I get those questions in our church. I’ll get asked, “Why can’t we do a parenting book or a book on prayer? Josh, are you against books on prayer?” No, but it depends on the book.

The reality is, you don’t need another book or Bible study. They are helpful, but you don’t need marriage advice, money advice or parenting advice. It’s not like you don’t know how to pray, be married, handle money or be a parent.

I’ll give you some examples:

Take marriage. What does the Bible say? Love your spouse more than yourself. Keep your marriage bed pure. It says more, but if you did those two things relentlessly, do you think your marriage would change?

Or dating. Don’t date someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. Why? If you don’t agree on the life shaping, central truth of your life, you will be in trouble. But they’re so cute. One day they’ll be old, fat and saggy. But they complete me. No they don’t, and you know it. You are grasping at straws.

Money? Where your treasure is, there your heart is. The Bible talks about not being in debt, giving back to God before you save, spend, go out, or do anything. Don’t envy what others have. Would giving to God 10% right at the beginning and then living off 90% change things in your finances? Some of you are thinking, “I couldn’t do that.” Why? Did God get it wrong? Do you think living by God’s standards financially would change your finances and bring them under control?

Teach your kids biblical truth everyday. Don’t punish your kids out of anger. Don’t provoke your kids to anger. Don’t push them away, but instead like a good father, pursue them. If you did that, would things change in their lives? Would relationships be different?

Hebrews 4:12 says, For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

It shapes us.

That’s why (one of the why’s at least) we should read the Bible.

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7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually

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How do you help your kids grow spiritually?

As our kids have gotten older, this is a question Katie and I get on a regular basis. It is one we’ve gotten right in certain seasons, and in others we’ve wandered around lost. Sometimes things that we do work really well, and other times they fall apart.

Here are seven ideas for you as a parent to help your kids grow spiritually:

7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually.

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1. Model your spiritual life to them. The reality of anything related to parenting is that you pass on what you do. If you want to pass anything on to your kids spiritually, you must model it for them. They will watch you for 18+ years. They will see you read your Bible (or not), how often you pray and what your prayers contain (so much is taught in this), how often you attend church and how important spiritual things are to you.

2. Involve them in a church. Just like the first one, they will often do what you do. So do what you’d like to see them do.

What if they don’t like church? Many parents will talk about how their kids don’t like to attend church, attend a worship service or something else. Many times I’ll hear parents say, “I don’t want to force spiritual things onto my kids.” This is often from a place of fear as a parent because you don’t know what to do, but also the fear that your kids will reject it and want nothing to do with Christianity. The problem with this is that we don’t apply this to anything else. We force our kids to do math, learn a language, eat broccoli, turn off their electronics and take a nap, often when they hate every moment of it.

If you don’t involve them in a church, when do you think they will learn that? If they don’t understand an aspect of a worship service, explain it to them. If you don’t know what to tell them, do some research together.

I think it’s important as often as possible for kids and students to be involved in small groups, serving in a church and attending the worship service in a church. Is every kid different? Yes. Should you force your kids to do something they dislike? Sometimes.

Our kids take out the trash and dislike it, but they still do it. I don’t think they’ll be scarred as adults because of that.

3. Read the Bible together. Part of why kids dislike church is they don’t understand the relevance of the Bible and the things that happen at church. It is something their parents do, apart from them. So do it with them.

I know this is difficult, and they don’t always want to sit still, but doing something is better than nothing.

For our family, we’ve tried things like the Jesus Storybook Bible when the kids were younger to using a catechism now so we have a question each week we are working through as a family. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you do something.

4. Read books to them. One of the things you can do is read books to your kids and discuss the spiritual themes in them. Whenever we watch a movie, we always talk about how it is like the one true story we see in Scripture. What are the themes and how do those themes influence us?

5. Listen to their questions. This might be one of the most overlooked aspects of your kids’ spiritual life because it is out of your control as a parent and doesn’t come on a schedule. But your kids have questions, and when they ask them, engage them. Don’t shoo them away or scold them for asking a question. If they are skeptical or have doubts, talk with them.

This is an incredibly powerful message you are sending them as their parent. You are telling them it is okay to ask questions, to wonder about something, to be unsure.

If you don’t know the answer, tell them and then study it together.

Ask them why they are curious about that. This engages their life. Is it in a book, a show, from a friend? This is an important window into their world.

6. Interact with their friends and talk with your kids about how to pick friends. Don’t sit on the sidelines when it comes to their friends.

You have an enormous impact on their spiritual lives, but so do their friends. Be involved in that.

7. Pray for them. If you’re a follower of Jesus you know this, but it is easy to overlook the power in it.

If you aren’t praying for your kids, who do you think is?

If you aren’t praying for your kids, who do you think is?

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Pray for them. Pray with them. Ask them what you can pray for, even if they say nothing, which will often happen as they get older.

7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually

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Are these sure fire ways to make sure your kids grow spiritually? No.

There isn’t a sure fire answer to almost anything in parenting, but parenting is about involvement and trying and faith. Lots of it.

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8 Questions to Ask Before You Preach a Sermon

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Preaching is hard work, but it is joyous work. Ask anyone who preaches on a regular basis and you will find someone who loves the process of preaching, prepping a sermon, thinking through a series creatively and then standing up to communicate God’s Word to a group of people. It is an awesome task and responsibility.

In light of that, here are eight questions you should ask yourself before getting up to preach a sermon:

8 Questions to Ask Before You Preach Your Next Sermon.

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1. Have I studied enough? It is easy to study too much for a sermon, but it is equally easy to study too little. So much happens in a week; so much has to happen. Life happens for you personally as a pastor and in the life of your church. There are meetings, appointments and opportunities that call for your attention. Then there are all the ways you can waste time as a pastor.

You should never step up to preach until you are prepared. This means you will sacrifice some opportunities to give enough time to the task of preaching. How much time that takes and when that happens will depend on the person, the series, the church size and ability. You should not step up to preach and be unprepared. There are weeks you will feel inadequate. In fact, that will be most weeks, but unprepared should not be what you feel.

Yes, you could always study more. You could tweak more. Many times you need to stop studying and spend time with people or take a nap. Pastors are notorious for overdoing it in sermon prep.

2. Have I prayed enough? Have you confessed your sins, prepared your heart to preach, prayed through your notes and for the people who will be there? Have you asked God to move on your behalf? Don’t just ask for a crowd. God is interested more in movement than a crowd (I believe).

3. Do I care about this topic? You won’t feel passionate about every topic to the same degree. Some will come easily, some will be your soap box topics and sometimes you will preach a passage because it is the next thing in the book of the Bible you are preaching through. Sometimes you will preach on a topic because your church needs to hear it.

Another way to think about this is, do I care enough about the people in my church to tell them what they need to hear this week? Not in a mean, berating way, but in a loving, shepherding way.

4. Is this relevant to my church? This can be tricky, but you need to think through how a topic is relevant to your church. What do they think about the topic? What is their pain point as it relates to the topic? Sometimes this is obvious, and sometimes this takes more work on your part as a pastor.

5. Has this passage and topic impacted me personally? This is like #3, sometimes you are impacted deeply by a truth you are going to share, sometimes you aren’t. The Word of God needs to do its work in you before you stand up to preach. You need to preach from the overflow of your time with God, not regurgitate a commentary. One of the best things that can happen in a sermon is when you say, “Let me share how this has worked in my life or heart this week.”

6. Do I know what I am trying to communicate? This seems obvious, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a sermon and it became obvious that outside of a verbal Bible study, the speaker had little idea what he was trying to communicate. Here is one of the most important words in sermon prep: edit.

Edit is one of the most important words in sermon prep.

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Do your best to nail down your sermon to one line. That’s all most people will remember. This is hard work because some weeks it isn’t obvious. You owe it to your people to do that hard work.

7. Do I know what I want people to do with what I’m about to say? Going along with having your sermon be about one thing, you aren’t ready to preach until you can articulate, “In light of this truth, here’s how we should live.” This isn’t to put a burden on your church but to show them and help them apply the truth of the Bible. Don’t end with, “I’ll just let the Holy Spirit bring about the application for you from what I just said.” No lie, I heard a guy say that once. Your goal is not a how-to self help talk, but your people need help applying something, seeing through the fog of their life to see how the Bible impacts them.

8. What barriers will keep people from applying this to their life? We all have barriers to the Bible, believing God, believing in God, and applying truth. During the week think through what those barriers will be to what you will preach. What will keep someone from applying this text? Why will someone walk out and disregard what you say? Talk to them, talk to that. Say, “You might be thinking ____.” That person will think, “He is talking to me.” Maybe talk about your struggles to apply something. This will show a human side to you that your people will love.

There are more questions you can and should ask before preaching, but these will hopefully get you started.

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Being Content with Where You Are in Life

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Do you love where you are in life? Do you love the job, house, family and life you have?

Would you change anything?

If we’re honest, most of us would change some things. But is that right? Should we be content with what we have, with where we are?

If we were sitting together at Starbucks, you would ask me if that is simply settling.

It can be, but my guess is it isn’t.

It is learning to be content.

If you are anything like me, you struggle with being content.

I always want more. Not in a prideful way, although that sometimes happens, but in a, “I know I could have more, I know I could be more” way.

In your 20’s this is simply growing and trying to move into adulthood. Once you start to move past 40 and into your 50’s, if you aren’t careful this can lead to burnout and disillusionment, because the goals you had never panned out. The dreams you were so sure you’d hit have fallen by the wayside.

Let me ask you something.

At first you will disagree with what I’m going to say, but hear me out.

What if the life you have right now (the house, the family, the career, the finances) is exactly the place God has you?

Depending on your perspective, that might be kind of depressing, but it isn’t meant to be.

You see, one of the reasons we aren’t able to move forward or move on to something is because we haven’t learned all that God has for us where we are. We become so consumed with what’s next, we don’t live in what we have. We don’t learn all we can where we are. We aren’t faithful with what we have, we always want the next thing.

But the reason we often get stuck is because we are so focused on what we don’t have that we miss what we do have.

The people who live life to the fullest are the ones who are filled with the most joy.

Do you know where that joy comes from?

Yes, the answer is Jesus.

But to give that more of a specific answer, it is contentment.

Paul says this in Philippians 4:

I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know both how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.

It is the key to joy.

What would being content with where you are mean for you? What would being content, enjoying the life stage you are in, mean? Not longing for the next thing or looking back at what you had, but being content. Here. Now.

 

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How to Love Your Family

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Let’s be honest about families. They are incredible. They bring us love, joy and a ton of great memories.

They can also be difficult, painful, hurtful and wreck our lives (at least a portion of them).

We often underestimate the impact that our families have on our lives and the kind of people we become.

Who we become has a lot to do with where we came from, who we grew up with and what that house and family were like. The person we marry has an enormous impact on our lives and what they are like.

As we think about being a follower of Jesus, loving our family doesn’t often come into our thinking. We hear Jesus say we are to love our neighbor, so we look around us to figure out who to love. Yet, our family members are our neighbors, too. This is one of the biggest missed opportunities to show the love of God and impact lives.

In Colossians 3:18 – 21, the apostle Paul lays out what a family is supposed to be like, what a husband and wife do and what children are to be like. But before he gets there, he lays the foundation in verses 1 – 17 of what a family does and what is the environment of a family. While similar to the list in 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter), this is a little different.

If we are to love families (and we are), how do we do that?

Paul tells us by giving us a list (so buckle up for all you list people!):

Who are defined by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness or gentleness and patience.

These words should define every family, every marriage and every parent.

5 ways to love your family.

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Compassion: For the perfectionist who gets mad because family members mess up and don’t pull their weight. Don’t correct them; show compassion. Maybe there’s a good reason they dropped the ball.

This is looking out for the people around you. Do they have what they need?

As I shared in a recent sermon, being holy means that we are to imitate, to image God. What kind of grace and compassion does he show?

Kindness: There is no place for smugness, superiority, anger, malice or contempt in the heart of a Christian and their relationships. No place.

Kindness is caring about the feelings and desires of others.

Humility: Humility is putting the other person or other family members first. Not getting your way. Not always being right.

Humility allows us to serve others without worrying about getting noticed.

One of the biggest areas of fighting in families centers on: I think I do more than you, and you need to start pulling your weight. I think I should get thanked more than I do, noticed more than I do.

That’s not humility and has no place.

Yes, discuss who will do what in a family, but you should not be fighting over who does what chore and who does more in a family. That’s sin. That’s pride. That’s arrogance.

Gentleness: Meekness or gentleness makes allowances for others. This is grace giving in relationships. This is knowing you will be let down and sinned against and yet giving grace.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have consequences or confront something, but give grace.

In your speech, are you gentle? Do your spouse or kids fear when you open your mouth? Do they fear your presence?

These are words, silences, sighs, eye rolls, your presence.

Here’s a great question to ask on a regular basis: What is it like to be on the other side of me?

What is it like to be on the other side of me?

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Let me give you this challenge. Ask someone close to you today that question.

We underestimate the power of our presence in people’s lives.

Patience: Toe tapping, standing at the front door asking if they’re ready yet. Wanting people to hurry up and get their act together, pick a major, stick with a job, stop being so flighty.

That’s not patience.

Patience says, “I’ll wait. I have time to talk even though all I want you to do right now is go to sleep.”

When our relationships are defined by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness or gentleness and patience, things change. People change. Our hearts soften to those around us, and their hearts have the chance to soften towards ours.

Think about one relationship you have, a close one. Which of these could you apply today that would bring change to that relationship? Not drastic change, although that would be nice. But change. A small step towards each other.

5 ways to fix a broken relationship.

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How to Grow in Holiness

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Holiness.

If you attend church, you have heard this word. You have heard that you are supposed to be holy as God is holy. (1 Peter 1:16)

But why? Does anyone want that?

Two reasons. One, we are called to it as followers of Jesus. All over the Bible we are told to be like God.

The second reason is because it is the path to life and freedom.

Holiness is the path to freedom and life.

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Everyone is attracted to Jesus, and in Jesus we see the person who lived the freest and fullest life and did so without sin.

How do we grow in holiness, though?

How to grow in holiness.

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Once we determine we want holiness and see that as the path to freedom and life, Peter gives some crucial steps in 1 Peter 1.

4 ways to grow in holiness.

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1. Live out of your identity as a child of God. The New Testament letters contain a lot of commands about how a follower of Jesus is supposed to live. All of those come after the promises and assurances of God’s grace towards us. It happens in the Old Testament, too. Take the 10 commandments. Before giving them, God reminds them that He rescued the nation of Israel and set them free. Then He tells them how to live in that freedom.

Peter does this in chapter 1. He spends the first 12 verses laying out the truth of God’s grace towards us and our redemption found only in Jesus. Then in verse 13 he says, “Therefore.” Because of this, in light of this, be holy.

Live out the truth of your new identity.

Sinclair Ferguson said, “Holiness is a way of describing love. To say ‘God is love’ and that ‘God is holy’ ultimately is to point to the same reality. Holiness is the intensity of the love that flows within the very being of God.”

Holiness is a way of describing love. -Sinclair Ferguson

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2. Prepare for it. Holiness does not just happen. In fact, very little “just happens” in our lives. Holiness takes intentionality. So does sinning. You plan for sinning simply by not choosing not to sin. You put yourself in situations that make sinning a possibility or easier to fall into.

To be holy you must prepare for it, choose it and pursue it. This term is a military, athletic term. Training for a sport, a marathon or a long hike does not just happen. You have to plan your training, when it will happen and how it will happen. You schedule your nutrition and your sleep. All those preparations go into it. The same is true for holiness.

And this is where most of us fall off track. It is easier to prepare for sin than holiness. Sin is easier to fall into than holiness.

3. Focus on Jesus and His return. Throughout the New Testament, when endurance or obedience is commanded, we are told to fix our eyes on Jesus, to look toward eternity and the promises of God we have in Jesus. Jesus is our only hope in life and death, and we must through the power of the Holy Spirit and the promises found in Scripture, keep our eyes focused on Him. Peter uses the word “fully” or “completely.”

To say ‘God is love’ and that ‘God is holy’ ultimately is to point to the same reality. -Sinclair Ferguson

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This means identifying the things that will take our focus away from Jesus. What idols, desires or loves will put our eyes and heart from Jesus? We must know what those things are and continually battle those to keep our eyes on Jesus.

4. Be conformed by obedience, not by your past life. Following Jesus is a constant battle of moving forward. It is easy to fall backwards, to look back. Our past is what we know. It is comfortable, like an old shirt. We know those places and those people and can easily slip back.

Don’t.

Holiness says freedom and life aren’t found there.

Conformed in 1 Peter 1:14 is a shaping word. We are shaped by our passions, by our loves. They determine who we are, who we become and ultimately where our lives end up. Sinclair Ferguson said, “Knowing whose you are, who you are, and what you are for, settles basic issues about how you live.” That is what Peter is talking about here.

If our former passions shape us, they determine where our lives end up. If the holiness of God, the way we are called to live, shapes us, that determines what we love and where we end up.

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Praying to a God who Knows You (Psalm 139)

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It’s hard to be known. It’s hard to let people in. If we’re honest, when it comes to life and relationships, it’s easier to hide. It’s safer to hide.

In many relationships, it is safer and easier to hide.

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Many of us in relationships hide. We are afraid. We keep things to ourselves. Some of this is out of fear. We are afraid of what people would think if they knew everything about us.

We don’t want to disappoint people. We want to be liked, to be known, to be seen as having certain abilities.

Some of us jump into relationships and become dependent on the other person. We need to be needed, we need them to validate us.

Sometimes as we hide, we manipulate people to get what we want, to get them to think certain things about us.

Sometimes to be known, we’ll isolate ourselves so that someone will chase us. This tells us we are worth it. We’ll become detached in relationships so someone will say, “I need you.”

Sometimes to protect ourselves from being known and to feel safe, we’ll jump from relationship to relationship. We’ll change gyms, small groups, where we get coffee, we’ll change social groups, all in an effort to hide. I have a friend who the moment they get too close to people, they pull back.

Where does this come from?

From our earliest moments as a baby, we have a desire to be loved, to be known.

We also have a deep desire to be safe.

These desires travel with us into being adults. To the point (and often rightfully so) that we will do whatever it takes to be safe in relationships.

Ironically, for many of us the destructive patterns of isolation, hiding, manipulation and living out of fear or co-dependency are how we’ve learned to be safe.

We then take this to God and think, “This is what worked with my mom, my dad, my teacher, my boss, my spouse, and this must be how I relate to God.”

What if bearing ourselves to God is the only way to be safe? What if sharing our deepest hurt is the only way to move forward in our relationship with God and ourselves?

What if bearing ourselves to God is the only way to be safe with God?

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As one of my mentors says, “Whatever we don’t own, owns us.”

Whatever we don’t own, owns us.” -@CrossPointMin

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So how do you own your past? How do you own what has been done to you? How do you own your anger? Bitterness? Loneliness? How do you move forward in a way that brings about freedom instead of keeping you stuck?

The answer is prayer.

Philip Yancey said, “An important purpose of prayer is to let our true selves be loved by God.”

“An important purpose of prayer is to let our true selves be loved by God.” -Philip Yancey

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Prayer is a window into God’s love and God’s heart for us. It is a chance to give our heart and hurt to Him. It is a place to remove our fears, doubts and hurt.

Psalm 139 tells us that not only does God know us, but God is everywhere and is not scared of what He knows about us. God will not leave us.

What a promise.

What a reminder that freedom comes from no longer hiding.

Freedom in life and relationships comes from not hiding.

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How does this work in prayer?

Bring to God your hurts. Say out loud or in your head, “God, this is my fear. This is my pain. These are my doubts.” Name them. Naming things often takes away their power.

Invite, like the psalmist in Psalm 139 does, for God to know you. In fact, using Psalm 139 and simply praying that to God might be a great next step for you as you name things and invite God into this place (even though He’s already there).

I often find that thanking God for knowing me and not leaving me is a powerful prayer moment. It is an amazing reminder.