One Thing that is Harming Your Spiritual Growth

spiritual growth

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Every follower of Jesus is trying to grow in their spiritual practices. But what if our personalities get in the way? What if you are an introvert or an extrovert? You are stunting your spiritual growth because you only do certain spiritual practices instead of ones you tend to dislike or find uncomfortable.

I kept hearing people like Jon Tyson and John Mark Comer talk about a book I had never read, “Invitation to a Journey.” They kept saying, “It’s the best book on spiritual formation.” They were right. 

There were so many insights that stood out but easily, one of the biggest aha moments came when I read this:

Each of us will tend to develop models of spiritual life that nurture our preference pattern. If extroversion is our dominant preference, we will select models of spirituality that bring us together with other people in worship, fellowship groups, prayer groups, Bible-study groups, and spiritual-formation groups. We will want corporate spirituality and not get as much out of private individualized spirituality. If our preference is introversion, we will adopt models of spirituality that emphasize solitude, reflection, meditation, and contemplation. -Robert Mulholland Jr.

As I thought about my own life and preferences, Mulholland was right. You can see in your own life how you make your spiritual life and practices around the ones you enjoy the most. 

Now, that doesn’t mean you abandon the ones you prefer, but it does mean that we need to look at our spiritual lives and see if we are doing what we prefer or engaging in places that are not our preference. 

You might wonder, does this matter?

I would say yes. 

If we only do what we enjoy or find comfortable, we will not grow all our spiritual muscles. Much like a weightlifter who only does an upper body workout, eventually, their legs will weaken. 

Think about how you experience a church or a community. Based on your preference, it is easy to elevate one practice over another. Maybe you wonder why others don’t do more of _____ or why your church doesn’t emphasize ______. Without realizing it, our preference gets elevated, and we begin to judge other Christians because they don’t do what we think is so important. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important, but we can elevate worship, prayer, or solitude over something else because it has helped us or we enjoy it more than other practices. 

This is especially important for pastors to understand. 

Unknowingly, for pastors, we create our churches around our preferences and expect others to grow the way we do. So, as a leader, you must know what you are most likely to emphasize, to make sure you are creating a well-rounded process of developing disciples. 

How to Grow Through the Hard Times

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Every one of us experiences hard times, but we view those hard times differently. Some of us are surprised by them when they hit; others seem to expect them (and they miss the good times when they come); some see them as a nuisance you must deal with; others see them as moments to grow and learn from. 

Scripture tells us we shouldn’t be surprised by them. Paul goes so far as to tell Timothy: But know this: Hard times will come in the last days. Throughout history, Christians have debated if they are in the last days. We might be now, we might not be yet. But we should live with the awareness that hard times will come. We shouldn’t be surprised by them. We shouldn’t look for them but see how to learn and grow from them. 

That’s what Paul wants Timothy to do. He gives him a list in chapter 3 of things that can lead to hard times. In verses 2 – 4, he lists 19 different sins that can lead to hard times. To learn and grow from the hard times, we must know what can lead to them and what we should be pursuing out of them. 

Here is the list:

  • For people will be lovers of self
  • Lovers of money
  • Boastful
  • Proud
  • Demeaning
  • Disobedient to parents
  • Ungrateful
  • Unholy
  • Unloving
  • Irreconcilable
  • Slanderers
  • Without self-control
  • Brutal
  • Without love for what is good
  • Traitors
  • Reckless
  • Conceited
  • Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God

Look at this list; which stands out to you as you struggle? It is important to know because that area is where we are most prone to fall into temptation, but also the area that can lead to the greatest heartache and difficulty in our lives. 

The 19 sins can fall into 3 categories: love of self, pleasure, and money. 

Paul gives Timothy a charge on how to fight this:

To fight the love of self, pursue humility. 

To fight the love of pleasure, pursue integrity. 

To fight the love of money, pursue generosity. 

Why do this? Tim Chester says, “All too often, we think of holiness as giving up the pleasures of sin for some worthy but drab life. But holiness means recognizing that the pleasures of sin are empty and temporary, while God is inviting us to magnificent, true, full, and rich pleasures that last forever.”

How to ReFocus in the New Year

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In 2 Timothy, Paul tells Timothy: Therefore, I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

This is incredibly important as we start a new year. Many of us have spent time thinking about last year, growth plans for the new year, praying through, and coming up with a word for the year, all so that we can focus on the new year. This is a great thing. 

But Paul tells Timothy to rekindle the gift of God. We don’t know for sure what the gift was that Paul was talking about, but it gives us the idea that whatever it was, it had started to fade or fizzle out. Our passions, drive, and focus can all fizzle out. This is why it is so important as we start a new year to take stock of where we are and where God wants us to be in the coming year. Not so we can come up with new goals or resolutions but so we can have focus as we move into the new year. 

Many of us don’t need something new but to be reminded of what we have and what God has entrusted to us. 

To help you focus this year, here are 8 questions Brad Lomenick asks in his book, The Catalyst Leader: 

  1. What are the 2-3 themes that personally define me?
  2. What people, books, accomplishments, or special moments created highlights for me recently?
  3. Give yourself a grade from 1-10 in the following areas of focus: vocationally, spiritually, family, relationally, emotionally, financially, physically, and recreationally.
  4. What am I working on that is BIG for the next year and beyond?
  5. As I move into this next season or year, is most of my energy spent on things that drain or energize me?
  6. How am I preparing for 10 years from now? 20 years from now?
  7. What 2-3 things have I been putting off that I need to execute before the end of the year?
  8. Is my family closer than a year ago? Am I a better friend than a year ago? If not, what needs to change immediately?

Many of us don’t need something new. We, like Timothy, need to rekindle what God has called us to. 

When we do, we can move forward in that power, love, and sound judgment instead of living from a place of fear. 

How do we know the difference?

We live from a place of fear when we live someone else’s goal for our lives, fall into what everyone else is doing, and live in a way that doesn’t honor God or his word. Too many people live someone else’s life or someone else’s dream. Timothy could’ve struggled with this very easily. His mentor and spiritual father was the apostle Paul. A man who wrote 2/3 of the New Testament and planted many churches. Those are huge shoes to fill. Yet, Paul says, “Don’t fill my shoes. Fill what God has called you to, be who God created you to be.” 

In this New Year, fulfill what God has called you to. Be who God created and called you to be. 

Holding on to Your Faith when Life Knocks You Down

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In my years as a pastor, I’ve sat with couples who have buried a child, adults burying their parents, I’ve wept with people who just found out they had cancer and a short time to live, listened to the brokenhearted stories about the end of a marriage, a child who wants nothing to do with the family or God, the loss of jobs, financial difficulties, addictions that can’t be beaten.

Every single time, it is heartbreaking to walk through. 

These moments feel like a gut punch. 

I’ve walked through the loss of friends, difficulty in family and work relationships, loss of jobs, setbacks in life, and difficulties in starting our church. I’ve looked at mountains that seemed impossible to get past, hurt that felt so painful I thought I could never recover, a betrayal that ran deep.

And you have too. 

Walking into the church, we wonder what to do with those feelings, situations, and moments. Where is God in them? Does God care? Does He know? Are we supposed to put on a smile and pretend life is great when we just drug ourselves to church looking for a shred of hope?

This leads us to Romans 8 and one of the most quoted verses in the Bible. One that has been used for encouragement over and over in the lives of thousands since Paul wrote it.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified.

Right now, you might be amid a storm in life. You might not be. If you aren’t, the reality is your storm is coming at some point.

Here are a few questions to help you see where you are, where God is in the storm you are walking through, and how to have the faith to walk through what you are in and what is ahead:

1. What storm are you facing? It is important to identify the storm you are facing. Often we don’t know what it is. We feel down, or something feels off from what used to be or what we hoped. Often it isn’t a storm we’re in the middle of; we’re simply tired or burned out. Other times we are in the dark place of the storm, and the waves are crashing around us. Also, without identifying our storm, we will struggle to see anything God is doing because we’ll simply go into survival mode or become jaded.

2. Are there any sins that need to be confronted? By this, have you sinned to get you into the place you are in, or has someone else? Take finances for an example. This can cause an incredibly stressful storm, but many of our financial issues (the housing market, retirement, etc.) are out of our control. Other financial storms are in our control (debt, spending, saving, giving, etc.). Or relational storms: did you hurt someone? Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Is there someone you need to confront or forgive, and let go?

3. Look back at a storm, hurt, or pain from your past. With some distance from that situation, can you see God’s hand? I know that the further I am from a situation, the more clarity I have. I will often see my pride and sin more clearly, but I also see God’s hand more clearly. Now, on this side of heaven, we will not have answers for everything that happens to us. We aren’t promised that. We are promised that God will never leave or forsake us, that all things serve a purpose in God’s plan, and that all things will bring about God’s glory and good if we are called by Him and love him.

4. What does looking at your past help you to see about God with what you are facing? What is He trying to do right now? I like to look back on my life because it often helps me move forward. This is why God had the nation of Israel do things to remember how He moved in the past. This is why as followers of Jesus, we do things like communion and baptism to remember how God worked in the past, because that has an enormous impact on our faith in the future.

What Happens While we Wait on God

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You will find yourself waiting on God at some point in your life.

We will often find ourselves waiting for God to answer a prayer, to speak to us and give us direction, or maybe you find yourself waiting for God to provide you with a reason for the season of pain or difficulty you are in.

What we do in those moments might be some of the most critical moments of our faith journey. Those are the moments when God is doing a lot in us, even if we don’t see it at the time.

In James 5, James gives us a few things to be aware of and ask ourselves while we wait:

Am I controlling what I can control and releasing what I can’t?

Farmers in the first century didn’t have irrigation systems or even weather radars to know when a storm was coming. They were utterly dependent on the rain. They had to lean into what they could control and what they couldn’t.

We will often feel like we are utterly powerless in life or overestimate how much power we have.

One exercise that has been helpful to me is one Henry Cloud suggests in his book Necessary Endings: list out what you control and what you don’t control in a situation. You might find that you have control and agency over some things you didn’t think and you might find yourself worrying over something you have no control over.

Am I being patient?

James uses the example of a farmer to show us something important while we wait: the kind of patience we are to have.

Farmers cannot make crops grow, but they can do things while waiting.

Patience isn’t something we usually want (at least I don’t), but we must lean into it because things do not change or grow quickly.

James tells us to be patient in our suffering and difficulty, for the Lord’s return is near. This is a reminder that all we are going through will one day be made right, be made new, and that everything we are going through is under the rule and reign of God, which is why James harkens back to the story of Job.

Am I strengthening my heart?

Then he tells us to strengthen our hearts because the Lord’s return is near.

We strengthen our hearts by being in the word of God, by spending time with Him, listening to Him and speaking to him, casting our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7), and sharing our sighs with him (Psalm 5:2).

We also strengthen our hearts in community, being with people who can help to encourage us and spur us on, but who can also help us carry our burdens and point out when we need to have things pointed out to us to grow in our faith. 

Am I guarding my heart?

James then switches gears in verse 9 to tell us to guard our hearts. 

Why?

While we are waiting and walking through pain and difficulty, we are vulnerable. 

He says: Brothers and sisters, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look, the judge stands at the door!

That vulnerability can lead us to complain about each other, judge each other, criticize people or take judgment into our own hands. 

James says, be on guard. 

This is important because, amid our pain, frustration, and hurt, we can easily hurt those around us and take our anger out on them. 

What is God doing in you now as you walk forward in a hard season?

It is easy to look forward, to look for a reason for it, but God is looking to grow us in those moments. 

Pete Scazzero said, “To mature in Jesus and learn true faith requires we go through walls, dark nights, and valleys. There is no other way.”

How God Grows & Changes Us

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All of us in our life and faith journey will walk through trials. If you’re like me, your first response is one of questioning. We question ourselves; we question God, and we get angry at ourselves, others, and God. 

Sunday, I started a brand new series on the book of James. In James, we see how God sees trials, which is incredibly important as we navigate them. James tells us to Consider it a great joy when you encounter trials. 

This is a mind shift for many of us as we view trials as something we should avoid at all costs. James isn’t saying to go searching for trials, but he tells us there is a point to them. He tells us in verse 3: you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

So, trials build endurance so we can be mature and complete, lacking nothing. When trials come our way, we lack something to which only a trial can bring completeness. 

But how does that happen? Throughout scripture, we see a few different reasons trials happen. In this list, I hope you can begin to see why you are walking through what you’re walking through: 

Trials test the strength of your faith. It is easy to follow Jesus when life is going well, but what about when life isn’t going according to our plan? Trials demonstrate the strength of our faith.

I often think I deserve blessings and should get good things from God, and as we’ll see later in chapter 1, God gives good gifts. But God also allows trials because trials and gifts are needed to bring us to maturity. 

Trials humble us and show us where we need to depend on God and deepen our trust in God. The more we’re blessed, the more we are tempted to see that we did it. We built our portfolio, marriage, house, career, and body.

When we walk through trials, we may experience feelings of loneliness, which is why many people use the picture of walking through the desert or the dark night of the soul to describe a trial. In these moments, we will find that God is who we cling to, and trials can deepen our dependence and trust in God. 

Trials show how temporary the things we hold dear are. We get so much confidence from temporary things. Money, stuff, security, medicine, experience, knowledge. We rely on these things to save us instead of God. Trials remind us that these things won’t last.

Trials strengthen our hope for heaven and eternity. The harder the trial, the longer it lasts, and the more we look forward to being with God in eternity. Without trials, we will see the world as not too bad and wonder what makes heaven and the gospel so great.

Trials reveal what we love. Many of our trials will involve a loss: of relationships, careers, finances, house, our health. 

It isn’t wrong to love these things, but trials reveal if they have become an identity piece for us and if we are holding them too tightly. 

Tim Keller said, “You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it.” All of us have idols. Idols are anything or anyone we look to do what only God can do. Only God can complete us, not a job, child, or marriage. Only God can fulfill us, not a dream, goal, or career. Only God is our refuge, not our home. Only God is our security, not our money and stuff.

Trials have a way of revealing what our idols and identity are. 

Trials can strengthen us for greater usefulness. This is what James is getting at; trials build endurance. For future things: maturity, completeness, wholeness, perfection, lacking nothing. 

Throughout Scripture and church history, God uses trials in the lives of people who impact our world. 

Trials also help us help others. Walking through things in this world gives us an opportunity to walk with others as they experience trials. 

How to Handle Seasons of Doubt & Disappointment

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As I’ve been preaching through the book of Daniel, I’ve been struck by the struggles Daniel has and doesn’t have.

He doesn’t seem to struggle with confidence and courage in following God’s call on his life. When faced with praying to God or worshiping a false god (the king), he chooses God. Was it difficult for him? Maybe, but we aren’t told.

In the second half of Daniel, we encounter a switch in how Daniel writes. The first half is a narrative, the story of Daniel’s life, but the second half is apocalyptic. Apocalyptic means “revelation,” so it is a revealing of something.

Often, apocalyptic carries a sense of doom but also a promise of God’s presence and power. It is two sides of the same coin.

Daniel comes to God in Daniel 7 with a question: why does evil prosper? Why are there mighty kings who are against God and His people?

We have the same question.

Why is my life so hard when I’m only trying to please God? Why do I have cancer? Why do I suffer when those around me who want nothing to do with God have an easy go of it?

Why am I not progressing the way I want to in my career, marriage, or parenting? Why can’t my finances come together, but that person at work who cuts corners gets promoted and things his way?

God’s answer to Daniel is simple: Yes, evil exists and prospers but not forever.

This is comforting and hard all at the same time.

God gives Daniel a dream of 4 beasts, a throne engulfed in flames which the Ancient of Days sits on, and the son of man (which we know from the gospels is Jesus).

Many historians debate who the beasts are and which kingdoms they represent. We know they are kings and prosper in wealth, destroying people and nations, but they eventually disappear, and someone else takes their place.

This is the reality and comfort God gives Daniel.

When we come to God, asking why things are difficult or struggling to trust Him with today, tomorrow, and the day after, He often doesn’t provide us the answer we want.

He gives us Himself.

That’s what He did for Daniel.

What is easy to overlook is verse 2, where we are told the beasts come out of the sea after the winds of the heavens stir the sea.

God tells Daniel in multiple places in chapter 7 that yes, evil exists, and yes, it is difficult and challenging.

But I am there. I am here.

That is the power and hope of God’s presence.

What the Storms of Life Teach Us

One of the things that many people struggle with at various points in their spiritual journey is wondering where they stand with God. This can look like working to feel and know God’s love, wondering if there is something you have done or left undone that is affecting your relationship with God, or even asking, “Can you or have you lost your salvation?” These struggles are real and can be debilitating. 

I remember in college feeling the constant struggle of wondering where I stood with God. I asked if this sin or that sin did me in. Looking back, I realize now that I didn’t have a clear picture of God’s grace and mercy and the power of sin. But that doesn’t make the questions any less painful in the moment. 

Thankfully, Jesus tells us some important things related to salvation and being able to have certainty about where we stand with God. 

In Luke 6 and Matthew 7, after giving what is known as The sermon on the mount, Jesus answers this question. Now, the context is critical. The sermon on the mount is where Jesus lays out what life is like in the kingdom of God, where Jesus is King, and we follow after him. He talks about what is truly blessed in the kingdom of God, which is different than the world around us. He talks about money, sexuality, judgment, and so much more. But all of that is in the context of following Jesus as Lord, Savior, and King. 

The first question a follower of Jesus must answer is, “Is Jesus my Savior, Lord, and King?”

Jesus asks in Luke 6: “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and don’t do the things I say?” What is Jesus referring to when he says, what I say? I think he is referring to what He has just said in the sermon on the mount. Jesus says a disciple listens to the words of God and acts on them, does them. They don’t push it aside, think it was for someone else, or it doesn’t apply to them. 

So, the first question we need to ask ourselves is, “Do I read my Bible and do what it says?” While this seems straightforward, it is easy to get out of it. 

  • Think back over your recent times in God’s word. Has there been something you read that you didn’t think applied to you?
  • Has there been a moment when you felt like the Holy Spirit was moving you to do something, say something, or not do something, and you brushed it off?
  • Take a moment to confess that and bring that to our God of grace. 

Then, to help us apply this on a deeper level. Jesus tells a story about two men who build houses and get hit by a storm. One of the men built his house deep into the rock and had a solid foundation, and his house stood. This man, Jesus said, “Listened and acted on the words of God.” The second man built a house on the sand that collapsed when the storm came. This person heard the words of God but did nothing with them. 

Take a moment and pull out a journal or a piece of paper:

  • Think back on a recent storm you walked through. It could be health, relational, at work, or at home. Write out what happened. 
  • What did you learn about yourself from that storm? What did you learn about God from that storm?
  • Would you say that your faith was built on Jesus and stood the storm, or did it collapse?

Jesus tells us that one of the ways we see our faith is how it responds in a storm. 

A storm has a way of revealing where we stand and what is happening in us. It shows how quickly we turn to God or how easily we try to manage our way through a storm. 

How to Make Your Life Count

Meaning.

Purpose.

All of us want our lives to count, but how? Is there a secret formula to it that a few people figure out and others don’t?

The truth is, while all of us want our lives to make an impact, only a few of us actually live lives that we would say make an impact. Instead, we just see people who are at work, in the neighborhood, and at school.

The people who make their lives count don’t focus on money, influence, or power. Athough, those things may come as the person makes an impact. No, the people who make an impact focus on one thing: relationships.

Impact is felt and measured in relationships.

So, how do we live our lives? How do we schedule our lives so that relationships matter to us, and so that our lives count?

One of the things I’ve seen as I’ve preached through the book of Philippians is that while joy and hope are significant themes in the book, relationships are an enormous part of it as well. Paul talks again and again about his love for the Philippian church. But he also spends a lot of time in chapter two talking about “putting the interests of others first,” and “to not think of yourself, but to think of others.”

Then in verses 19 – 30, he tells us about Timothy and Epaphroditus and how they exhibit these qualities.

They put others first by genuinely caring, putting the things of Jesus first, and being trustworthy (men of character).

As we think about our lives and relationships, there are three important and timely things in our culture.

Do you genuinely care for people? One of the things that Pual tells us about Timothy is that he genuinely cares for others (2:20), not just cares, but genuinely.

Would the people closest to you say you genuinely care for them? Are you showing interest in who they are, their story, what they are walking through, and how they see the world the way they do?

Or, are you only interested in what people can do for you?

We show care by being there for people, listening to them, watching out for them, serving them, and protecting them as the situation calls for it.

Timothy and Epaphroditus put their lives on the line to be with Paul in prison, to be with him in a low point of his life, and to put their lives in danger.

This leads to the next question.

Do you put the things of Jesus first? This is living your life for a different goal.

If you’ve made it this far and want to see your life count through relationships, then you are on your way to living your life for a different set of goals and values.

The values of our culture point to notoriety, importance, influence, money, and power. While none of those things are wrong or sinful, they don’t lead to a lasting impact. Those things make an impact, but not a lasting one.

A simple exercise for this week is to read Matthew 5 – 7, and see where your life lines up with this. Because we aren’t perfect, there should be a part of those passages that do not line up with your life.

Are you trustworthy? Another thing to think about is this: are you a person of character? 

Both Timothy and Epaphroditus were men of character. 

People of character are missing in our culture. 

Men and women who will lead through serving can be trusted. They are the ones who will put others before themselves, and who are the same no matter who is around. 

That is trustworthy. And trustworthiness is built over a lifetime, but can be lost in a moment. 

How are you doing?

You probably know already, but if you want to be brave, I’d encourage you to ask these questions of those closest to you and see what blind spots you might have. 

Our world, workplaces, schools, homes, and friendships need people of consequence, people who will make an impact with their lives. We don’t need people who flame out after their 11 minutes of fame, but ones who make real and lasting impact. 

And we long for that as well. 

Doubt, Faith & Hope (Mark 9)

Doubt is something all of us have at different points in our lives. It can be related to relationships and doubting whether or not someone cares for us, will be there for us, or

can be counted on. It might be around finances and doubting if we’ll make it through a situation, but where doubt shows up the most is in our relationship with God.

We wonder if God hears us, cares for us, and wants to be close to us. We wonder if God has the power to change us, take away our hurt, our sins, change someone close to us, or has the power to heal us or a loved one.

In his helpful book Help My Unbelief: Why Doubt Is Not the Enemy of Faith, Barnabas Piper makes the distinction between doubt based on belief (the anchor of God) and doubt that undermines belief.

I think what matters with doubt is what we do with it.

The father in Mark 9 took his doubt directly to Jesus.

He didn’t hide with it, run from it, or pretend it wasn’t there.

Frederick Buechner said, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief” is the best any of us can do really, but thank God it is enough.

The father in Mark 9 struggled because of the immense pain he had for his son. He longed for his son to be healed, he was desperate, which is why he comes to Jesus and says, “If you can.”

Jesus responds that anything is possible for the one who believes.

Believes what?

That Jesus can.

The father throws himself on the power of Jesus.

Too often in my life, when it comes to doubt, I simply move in to control it. Others run from it and hide. Others lash out at the situation, but what we are called to do is throw it onto the power of Jesus.

Don’t forget the context of Mark 9 because that is crucial.

This comes right after the transfiguration, where we see who Jesus is, that he is God in human flesh, greater than Elijah and Moses, but that he is also the redemption longed for, the freedom longed for.

I think another thing is important in Mark 9 as it relates to doubt.

Hope.

Too often I hear people talk about life, where they are, what they are going through, as hopeless.

It’s easy to do. Life feels overwhelming. It feels like we are stuck and can’t move forward.

Yet for the follower of Jesus, it is never hopeless.

A follower of Jesus should never shrug and say, “It can’t get better. All is lost.” Or, “I don’t know how long I’ll be stuck.” Or, “I keep doing the same thing over and over and can’t move forward.”

That’s hopeless.

The father in Mark 9 is clinging to the smallest shred of hope, but he is still clinging and that is crucial.

Why?

Again, the words of Jesus in Mark 9:23: All things are possible.

All things.