Tag Archives: pastor

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Pastor, Plan Some Down Time During the Holidays

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Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

I talk to a lot of pastors who are exhausted right now.

I know everyone is tired right now. It’s December, we’ve been in covid for almost two years.

But December, for a lot of pastors, is an exhausting time.

That’s why, pastors, here is my encouragement for you: Plan some downtime. 

Christmas Eve is almost upon us, and I want to encourage you to plan some downtime between Christmas and New Year.

How to plan some downtime during the holidays as a pastor.

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Here’s how:

Be honest with someone (and yourself) about where you are. This may become a longer post later, but be honest about where you are. Recently Barna revealed that 38% of pastors have seriously thought about leaving the ministry in the past year. That is a staggering stat. And I get it. These last few years have been hard for pastors. The encouragement we used to get isn’t there as much. We don’t feel like we are winning or moving forward. No matter what we do, we make someone mad.

It’s natural, and you have to be honest with yourself and someone else about it. Tell a trusted friend, mentor, counselor, or spouse. If you need to vent, vent to someone. Journal, spend some time talking with God. But enter 2022 without carrying some of that weight.

Get someone else to preach for you. If your church is meeting on December 26th (and this blog isn’t a theological stance on it), get someone else to preach for you so you can get some downtime. You might think, but I don’t have anyone. If that’s you, show a video of a sermon that impacted you this past year. Our church decided to get creative and do church @ home on January 2nd. We are putting boxes together for our community groups for that day for brunch and other activities, and encouraging them to meet together and watch the service. The church @ home also gives our volunteers a much-needed sabbath week from our Christmas services.

Sleep in. Over the holidays, do your best to sleep in. I make it a habit not to set my alarm on Monday mornings since I often get a terrible night of sleep on Saturday nights, and I’m exhausted from Sunday. You don’t need to sleep the days away over your Christmas break, although if you do, that’s okay too. But make sure you get some rest.

Spend time with friends that fill your tank. You will be around many people in December, and you will give out a lot to other people. That’s what you do as a pastor. So make sure you spend some time with people who fill your tank. Try to be with people who make you laugh, listen to you as a person and not a pastor, and just let you be yourself.

Read a book or watch a movie. Read a book for fun and watch some movies or shows you’ve been putting off. I have a rule on a week off, like no ministry reading between Christmas and New Year. So give your brain a break and let things go.

Meet with a counselor. If you don’t already, meet with a Christian counselor. I think every pastor should be meeting with some mentor, coach, or counselor. You need someone who will ask you hard questions, speak the truth to you, and draw out what God is doing in your life because you do that for many other people.

Finally, do things that fill you up. One of the things that I have loved since moving to New England (which has surprised me) is how much I enjoy yard work. I think it is part of the accomplishment when it’s done. But do things that fill your tank, speak to your soul, and make you laugh.

Whatever you do, make a plan right now so that when 2022 hits, you are at a full tank (or a fuller tank than you have right now).

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One Tweak that Took my Preaching to a New Level

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One of my favorite parts of being a pastor is opening up God’s word and preach. To see how God changes people, how He moves them along in their spiritual journeys, and when people have that aha moment of clarity from a sermon.

It is incredible.

Over the years, I have always tried to improve my preaching, but my preaching has gone to a new level in the last year.

And I believe a big part of that is because of the teaching process we have at Pantano.

I didn’t create this, but have greatly benefited and thought I’d share what we do.

The preaching process at our church.

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Like most churches, we plan our teaching calendar out a year in advance. So in August of 2019, we laid out our 2020 calendar of series, topics, speakers, etc. Heading into 2021, because of what 2020 has taught us, we will only plan the first 6 months, so it gives us a shorter runway of topics.

Once the series is laid out, each series is assigned a creator. This creator lays out the passages, the main idea, and the next steps. While these will often get changed by the team, it is a launching off point. The goal is to hand the creative team and the teaching team a roughly half done series.

This all happens 10 – 12 weeks before a series is taught. So the creative team can begin working on stories, videos, and other elements.

The importance of planning your preaching.

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At this point, the teachers have what they are doing, and so does the rest of the team.

13 days before a sermon is taught, the notes are handed to the teacher’s teaching team for them to be reviewed. This team is made of men and women, all ages and personalities. This team is looking for inconsitencies, places where the teacher didn’t go deep enough or far enough or went too deep into the weeds. This team helps to make sure the sermon makes sense, has a good flow, enough personal stories in it, and makes sure that we speak to each person in our church, to the best of our ability.

This team has saved me many times.

Once the teacher has feedback and this team has about a week to give it, they go back to work, going through the comments on a google doc.

How my preaching went to a new level.

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Then, on the Thursday before teaching, we do a live run-through for our teaching and creative team.

No matter who you are, everyone does it live.

At first, this can feel really awkward because you roll into the room and go. But as we have seen in covid, many of us ended up doing this anyway.

For a communicator, this is one of the best things you can do for your preaching.

Why?

You get the feel of a joke; you get the feel of a story. You can work on your eye contact in the room and as it relates to a camera. The team can give feedback on how things feel, how vulnerable you are if you need more information in a section, or how clear your main idea and the next steps are.

Then, the week after, we give feedback to the speaker for how Sunday went.

The importance of feedback in your preaching.

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Is this a lot? Yes. Has this been worth it? Yes.

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The Four Friends Every Pastor Needs

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Friendships for most men are difficult. Naturally, men aren’t good at friendships. The older we get, the fewer friends we have as we pour into our work, marriage, and kids.

Yet, if we don’t keep up friendships, it will lead us to be very lonely.

The Four Friends Every Man Needs

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Pastors are just as guilty as the larger population of men, but for different reasons.

Finding and keeping friends can be very difficult for a pastor. It can be awkward for people to be friends with a pastor because they sometimes don’t want to invite their pastor over when they have the guys over for football. It is often easier to think of your pastor as someone you see at church, not someone you hang out with on a Friday night. It can be hard for a pastor because there are times he wants to stop being a pastor and be one of the guys. It is hard for him to turn that off and it is hard for those around him to let that happen.

The Four Friends Every Pastor Needs

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Trust is also a big factor for pastor’s when it comes to choosing friends. They have experienced hurt in their family of origin, or someone at a former church broke their trust and betrayed them.

Pastor’s will wonder, “If I open up to this person, will they use it against me? Can I be truly honest with this person?” As people in their small group share a prayer request, it is difficult for a pastor to say, “This has been one of the worst weeks at work for me. I’m so frustrated with a co-worker” because everyone knows his co-workers.

Pastor’s and their wife often wonder when someone wants to hang out with them if there are ulterior motives. Do they want to be our friends because they like us or because of what we do? Sadly, people want to be friends with a pastor or his wife, to get closer to the center of the action, to be closer to the power as they see it in a church.

The four types of friends everyone needs.

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People in a church wonder the same thing. Do the pastor and his wife want to hang out with us because they like us or because they think we need ministry? When they hang out with us, are they working or having fun? The lines of working for many pastors are blurry in their heads because almost anything is “ministry.”

Friendship and community are incredibly crucial to surviving as a pastor or a pastor’s wife. But how does that happen? Brian Bloye, in his book It’s Personal: Surviving and Thriving on the Journey of Church Planting talks about the four types of friends a pastor needs to have in the journey of church planting and pastoring:

The four types of friends every pastor needs.

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  1. The developer. A friend that makes you better. They encourage you, lift you when you fall, someone who believes in you during times you don’t believe in yourself. Someone you can call on a bad day and they encourage you and help to pick you up — a great cheerleader in your corner who is telling you to keep going, to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
  2. The designer. A mentor, coaching you in life and ministry. Someone who shares the wisdom they’ve gathered in life. Too many pastors walk through ministry without any coach. Find one. The coaches I have had have been invaluable to me. Some I’ve known for over a decade, others have come and gone in my life in different seasons, but you must have someone you can call and say, “I’m facing this, what would you do?”
  3. The disturber. The friend who rocks your boat. He’s there to bring discomfort to your world, not comfort. This friend challenges your ideas, is not impressed by you. Not a yes man. This can also be someone who isn’t a follower of Jesus who pushes you in your faith and asks hard questions about beliefs as they are wrestling through them personally. Or someone who is pushing you as a leader, father or parent.
  4. The discerner. An accountability partner. Someone who looks you in the eye and asks the hard questions about your life and where you stand with things. This person walks with you through life’s highs and lows.
The four types of friends every man needs.

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Be the Pastor God Created You to Be

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It’s hard to be the person you’re supposed to be.

If we’re honest, the person we are, the person God is creating in us often seems mundane and ordinary. Nothing like the highlight reels we see on Instagram.

As a pastor, it is tough to be the person God has created you to be.

Be the Pastor God Created You to Be

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You can download the sermons of any other pastor (and so can your people). You wonder if you are measuring up; if you are faithful enough if you are pursuing the vision God has placed in your heart or pursuing someone else’s vision.

Compound that with voices in your church. Many of them well-meaning.

You will hear things like:

  • You need to be more visionary.
  • You need to be more shepherding.
  • You need to preach more in-depth (deeper) sermons.
  • You need to preach more topical sermons that are relevant.
  • You need to be more relational.
  • You need to be more strategic.
  • Have you ever heard of ________ [insert famous pastor]?
  • My last pastor did ____________.

And that is before you hear anything about your spouse, your kids or the direction of the church.

With all of those voices (don’t forget your taunting doubts), it is hard to be the pastor God has called and created you to be.

It took me a long time (and I’m still wrestling through it) to be comfortable with who I am.

Yes, I need to grow in my shortcomings. I need the gospel to plow through the pride in my heart.

But my church needs me to bring the gifts, talents, and strengths that God has given to me. Not the gifts, talents and strengths of the pastor down the road or the latest megachurch pastor flying up the iTunes chart.

Your church needs you to bring the gifts, talents, and strengths that God has given to you.

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That’s a hard lesson to learn and one that I wished I would’ve learned earlier.

If you don’t, you will end up chasing after people, trying to please loud people who don’t care who God has created you to be, only that you aren’t what they would like you to be.

So, be you.

God doesn’t need you to be the person down the street. He already has that one.

He needs and wants you.

That’s why He made you the way He did.

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How to Stay Passionate as a Leader

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Starting something is easy. Getting married is easier than staying married. Starting a new company or church is often easier than maintaining one or turning one around.

Yes, it takes a lot of work and effort to get something off the ground, but the dreaming phase, the launching phase, is often incredibly fun and exhilarating.

Why?

Passion.

Passion can take you incredibly far in life.

We don’t follow people who aren’t passionate, and often passion is what will keep you going when the road gets long and hard as a leader. Your passion to see a dream come true, a marriage survive, a child succeed. Our passion can carry us.

But no matter how passionate, energetic, or optimistic we are,

passion also drains and runs low.

There are times when we are simply showing up, going through the motions and trying to survive.

The passion that got it off the ground is hard to maintain.

Sadly, when this happens, many people quit. They give up. They throw in the towel, or they keep going through the motions, which kills them and sucks the life out of them.

Why stay?

One author said, “You will be most tempted to quit moments before the critical breakthrough.”

You will be most tempted to quit moments before the critical breakthrough. -@cnieuwhof

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How do you raise your passion when it gets dry? Here are some ways:

Have you lost your passion?

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1. Ask God. Our passion and calling come from God. He has wired us with it. When it is waning and not burning hot, ask God for the desire and original passion He gave you.

2. Go back to where you started. Place is important in our lives. For many of us, the dreams we have or the things we started began at a place. I can take you to the seat in an auditorium where God called me to plant a church when I was 21. I can take you to the banks of a lake where I knew at 18 I was supposed to be a pastor.

Many people have sat in conferences or gone on mission trips that have changed their lives and perspectives.

Go back to those places. Sometimes the return to a place ignites a passion in us.

3. Look for small wins and celebrations. Too often the reason our passion is waning is because it isn’t as big or as great as we imagined. It also goes slower than we expected. Most successful people have walked a long winding road to their success.

Look for the small ways you’ve moved ahead. Celebrate the little things that have happened.

4. Get around passionate people. You and I both know passionate, optimistic people. When your passion is waning, get around them. Ask them what they’re dreaming about. This is a great opportunity to stretch yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

5. Be honest. This might feel like a downer when talking about passion, but a lack of passion might be the end of your time somewhere. All things come to an end, and that is okay. The reality is that it is possible that when our passion wanes in a job, it is a sign of the end, and that is okay. God will often speak through passion or lack thereof.

This is why it is crucial to have a team or friends who can help you and talk with you about your passion level, where it went, why it is down and how to raise it back up.

If you’re a leader, this matters. Not only for your sanity but for those around you.

If you’re a pastor, your church will feed off your passion, whatever level it is.

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Why Read the Bible

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If you go to church, you’ve heard a pastor say you should read your Bible. But why? What is the point?

If you want to be a better parent, spouse or leader, aren’t there books more helpful than the Bible?

This especially comes up when pastors are surprised that our REVcommunities (our small groups) discuss the sermon. They tell me how mad their people would be if they couldn’t discuss a parenting or prayer book. I get those questions in our church. I’ll get asked, “Why can’t we do a parenting book or a book on prayer? Josh, are you against books on prayer?” No, but it depends on the book.

The reality is, you don’t need another book or Bible study. They are helpful, but you don’t need marriage advice, money advice or parenting advice. It’s not like you don’t know how to pray, be married, handle money or be a parent.

I’ll give you some examples:

Take marriage. What does the Bible say? Love your spouse more than yourself. Keep your marriage bed pure. It says more, but if you did those two things relentlessly, do you think your marriage would change?

Or dating. Don’t date someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. Why? If you don’t agree on the life shaping, central truth of your life, you will be in trouble. But they’re so cute. One day they’ll be old, fat and saggy. But they complete me. No they don’t, and you know it. You are grasping at straws.

Money? Where your treasure is, there your heart is. The Bible talks about not being in debt, giving back to God before you save, spend, go out, or do anything. Don’t envy what others have. Would giving to God 10% right at the beginning and then living off 90% change things in your finances? Some of you are thinking, “I couldn’t do that.” Why? Did God get it wrong? Do you think living by God’s standards financially would change your finances and bring them under control?

Teach your kids biblical truth everyday. Don’t punish your kids out of anger. Don’t provoke your kids to anger. Don’t push them away, but instead like a good father, pursue them. If you did that, would things change in their lives? Would relationships be different?

Hebrews 4:12 says, For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

It shapes us.

That’s why (one of the why’s at least) we should read the Bible.

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Links for Leaders 8/4/17

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It’s the weekend. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Here are 5 articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Jon Acuff shares the simple mistake that most pastors make in their sermons. I’m certainly guilty of this, but it is a great reminder.

How do you evaluate your church? Based on who you are inviting. This is a great reminder for all pastors and Christians from Carey Nieuwhof.

I love to read and I’m assuming that if you follow this blog, you do as well. If you are a leader or want to be a leader, you need to be a reader. But how do you know which book to read next when there are countless possibilities? Dan Black shares 4 tips that are incredibly helpful.

Have you ever doubted something? Maybe you, like me, have struggled with doubts in life, in faith. What do you do? Many of us want to throw in the towel and give up. It seems easier. But what if that isn’t the best thing to do with doubt? Michael Kelley gives us a better answer for our doubts.

When should you bring your kids into a worship service? If you’re like me, you’ve struggled with this. As a church, as a pastor and a parent. Jen Wilkin has some great insights for this.

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The Halfway Point of the Year & the Top 10 Posts of July

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It’s the middle of summer.

In Tucson, where I live, the monsoon’s are in full swing and school is back in session.

The year is more than halfway over.

Hopefully you are closer to the goals you set at the start of the year.

If not, don’t fear.

The year isn’t over and it isn’t too late to hit restart and try again.

In case you missed them, here are the top 10 posts of the month of July. Hopefully, they are encouraging to you but also help you reach the goals you have as a leader and a person. Thanks for reading!

  1. 11 Ways to Know You’ve Settled for a Mediocre Marriage
  2. How to Share your Faith
  3. 7 Ideas to Help Your Kids Grow Spiritually
  4. 8 Questions to Ask Before You Preach a Sermon
  5. The One Thing Destroying Your Marriage That You Don’t Realize
  6. 18 Things Every Husband Should Know about His Wife
  7. How Many Times a Year Should a Pastor Preach
  8. 5 Books Every Pastor & Church Staff Should Read
  9. What Role a Pastor’s Wife Plays in the Church?
  10. When You Manipulate Your Husband, You Lose Him
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Making Time for Your Marriage

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The other day a friend asked me, “How do you make time to work on your marriage?”

How to make time to work on your marriage.

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Every couple struggles with this.

You have a job, hobbies, kids (maybe), and all of them are vying for your time.

The reality.

You make time for whatever matters most.

Let’s be honest. You might think you don’t have time to date your spouse or work on the latest issue in your marriage.

But you do.

I told my friend, “Whatever matters most to you, you will make time for it.”

If you don’t make time for your marriage, it doesn’t matter to you.

I know that sounds harsh.

But you have time for fantasy sports, hiking, cards with the guys, your kids’ sports. Are those bad? No, but they matter less than your marriage.

If working on your marriage matters, you will make time at 6am or 9pm.

Anyone who tells you they don’t have time for their marriage is lying.

They don’t care enough about it to make the time for it.

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Tuesday Morning Mind Dump…

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  • After 6 weeks away from preaching, it feels nice to be writing a sermon.
  • It was nice the last 2 weeks just being at Revolution and not preaching. So good for the soul.
  • I love summer for the vacation, the down time, but also the reading time.
  • Here are some of my favorites from the summer.
  • I can’t wait to kick off The Bible this Sunday and spend the next 3 weeks answering common questions about the bible.
  • I can’t say enough, how much the last 6 weeks off from preaching have meant and how helpful they have been.
  • Pastors, you need to take time off in the summer.
  • It doesn’t have to be 6 weeks, but you can’t have a sustainable rhythm and last in ministry if you preach 48 or 50 times a year.
  • I know because I tried to do it the first 3 years of our church.
  • It was great to see how much Joe and Erik have grown as communicators as they got the chance to preach while I was away.
  • But I’m excited about spending the next 10 weeks preaching again.
  • 10 weeks is my limit right now for how many times I’ll preach in a row.
  • That’s another thing a pastor and his elder team should figure out, what keeps a pastor fresh. For you it might be 6 or 12.
  • After we do The Bible series we’re going to spend most of the fall walking through 1, 2 and 3 John.
  • We had our newcomers lunch yesterday and it was packed.
  • Blown away that we have grown over the summer.
  • Always amazes me.
  • Speaking of growth, I am so excited about the addition of Derek to our team.
  • He spent his first 4 weeks working while I was away, but the last 2 weeks working with him have been incredible.
  • Someone texted me while I was away and said, “Derek is exactly what our church needed” and I couldn’t agree more.
  • His gifts and personality are a perfect fit for what we needed and God’s timing in it has been cool to watch.
  • I’m in the middle of book 4 of the Harry Potter series with our kids.
  • We took a break from Lord of the Rings after The Two Towers to read this and it’s been fun.
  • The writing it so simple and the storytelling captures you.
  • I’ve been asked how our kids are handling it. Our kids haven’t seen the movies so their imaginations are driving what they see (which I think makes a big deal).
  • The conversations we’ve had about witches, wizards and spells have been great too.
  • I’m speaking Thursday afternoon on base to a group of young leaders in the Air Force about purpose and mission.
  • I’m getting more and more chances to speak on base and I love the time with them.
  • Then Saturday morning I’m speaking at Vail Family University on how to build an intentional family.
  • If you’re there, come say hi.
  • Lots happening, so back to it…