One Thing that is Harming Your Spiritual Growth

spiritual growth

Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

Every follower of Jesus is trying to grow in their spiritual practices. But what if our personalities get in the way? What if you are an introvert or an extrovert? You are stunting your spiritual growth because you only do certain spiritual practices instead of ones you tend to dislike or find uncomfortable.

I kept hearing people like Jon Tyson and John Mark Comer talk about a book I had never read, “Invitation to a Journey.” They kept saying, “It’s the best book on spiritual formation.” They were right. 

There were so many insights that stood out but easily, one of the biggest aha moments came when I read this:

Each of us will tend to develop models of spiritual life that nurture our preference pattern. If extroversion is our dominant preference, we will select models of spirituality that bring us together with other people in worship, fellowship groups, prayer groups, Bible-study groups, and spiritual-formation groups. We will want corporate spirituality and not get as much out of private individualized spirituality. If our preference is introversion, we will adopt models of spirituality that emphasize solitude, reflection, meditation, and contemplation. -Robert Mulholland Jr.

As I thought about my own life and preferences, Mulholland was right. You can see in your own life how you make your spiritual life and practices around the ones you enjoy the most. 

Now, that doesn’t mean you abandon the ones you prefer, but it does mean that we need to look at our spiritual lives and see if we are doing what we prefer or engaging in places that are not our preference. 

You might wonder, does this matter?

I would say yes. 

If we only do what we enjoy or find comfortable, we will not grow all our spiritual muscles. Much like a weightlifter who only does an upper body workout, eventually, their legs will weaken. 

Think about how you experience a church or a community. Based on your preference, it is easy to elevate one practice over another. Maybe you wonder why others don’t do more of _____ or why your church doesn’t emphasize ______. Without realizing it, our preference gets elevated, and we begin to judge other Christians because they don’t do what we think is so important. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important, but we can elevate worship, prayer, or solitude over something else because it has helped us or we enjoy it more than other practices. 

This is especially important for pastors to understand. 

Unknowingly, for pastors, we create our churches around our preferences and expect others to grow the way we do. So, as a leader, you must know what you are most likely to emphasize, to make sure you are creating a well-rounded process of developing disciples. 

Practicing Silence & Solitude

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Practicing silence and solitude will take some practice. It is a rhythm that we need, but often we don’t take the time to practice. 

For some of us, we struggle to make time for ourselves and God; we struggle to put it into our schedule. Our lives are so busy and fast that sitting alone in silence is uncomfortable. Some of us struggle with silence because it is in the silence that we hear voices and stories from our past or the enemy. 

As we looked on Sunday, some of us say we aren’t sure God will speak to us or wants to speak to us.

As you make this a regular rhythm, here are some ideas from Ruth Haley Barton’s excellent book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God’s Transforming Presence:

  1. Identify your sacred time and space. Look for an area where you can be alone for a specific time, whether outside, at home or office. Does it help to use a candle? A cross to help you focus on the presence of God? Be sure to let family or co-workers know about your rhythm to have some time for silence and solitude. 
  2. Begin with a modest goal. Depending on your experience with this practice, and your life stage, take that into account as you think about your goal. Don’t feel the pressure to set a goal of sitting in silence for 15 minutes if you’ve never done this before. Barton reminds us, “The amount of time is not nearly as important as the regularity of this practice.”
  3. Settle into a comfortable yet alert physical position. Sit in a position that is comfortable but helps you to be alert. If you feel comfortable placing your hands up, do so.
  4. Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openness and desire for God. Choose a prayer phrase that describes your desire or need for God these days in the simplest terms. An example might be The Jesus Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” Pray this prayer several times as an entry into silence and a way of dealing with distractions.
  5. Sit and be with God. The goal of silence and solitude is to be aware of the presence and love of God.
  6. Close your time in silence with a prayer of gratitude for God’s presence. 

Lastly, be gracious with yourself. The goal is to be with God. If you think of something you need to do later in the day, either hand that over to God or write it on a pad next to you to get back to your practice. No matter how long it lasts or how long it goes, trust that it is enough and what God needs it to be for you.