Bring our Child Home from Ethiopia & Serve a Widow

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I blogged yesterday about where we are in our Ethiopian adoption process. As I shared yesterday, we are on the brink of bringing our child home from Ethiopia. We are “on deck” as they call it, meaning that at any moment we can get a phone call telling us who our child is and when we need to be in Ethiopia to meet them and continue the legal process of our adoption. The way it looks now, we will be taking 2 trips to Ethiopia and bringing our child home to our family by the end of 2013. It is hard to believe we are this close since beginning this journey back in February of 2010.

So far, God has provided in incredible ways and allowed us to raise almost $20,000 towards our adoption. For the last leg of the journey, we need to raise $9 – 15 thousand more. The range comes from us not knowing how much travel will be when we make our two trips to Ethiopia.

To accomplish this goal, we are partnering with an organization called Both Handswho derives their name from James 1:27 which says:

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visitorphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

We have put a team of people together who will get sponsored, much like someone running a 5K. We are getting sponsored to work on the home of a widow. Mabel lives in Tucson, is 93 years old and we will be taking out 2 trees, replanting a tree, replacing her roof, doing some landscaping, and repainting her shutters and trim on her house. It is going to be a full day.

There are a couple of ways you can be involved:

  1. Continue to pray for our family and this process. Pray for our team as we work on June 15th. Pray that we are able to raise all the money we need to complete our adoption. 
  2. Give to our project. Because of partnering with Both Hands and Lifesong, you can give here and it is tax deductible. 
  3. Spread the word. Through Facebook or Twitter, if you could simply post this: Help my friends adopt a child from Ethiopia and serve a widow http://bit.ly/12sMaWh.

Social Media & Birthdays

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I had my birthday recently and it got me to thinking about birthday’s and social media. Facebook has proven to be nice for a few things when it comes to birthday’s or anniversaries. Facebook tells us when these things happen. I don’t have to remember, write them down or keep track. It will just show up on my page. I can then write a quick, “Happy birthday” and be done.

This is nice and somewhat lazy.

If we’re honest, it makes us feel like we are checking something off and being a good friend. But it is missing something.

If you have ever bought a card for something, you maybe wrote something in it. If anything, you at least took 5 seconds to pick out a card that fit that person. It caused you to have some thought about what you gave them or said to them. Social media has taken that away.

One of the things I’ve started to do and here’s my challenge to you: when you write happy birthday to someone on Facebook, write a message to them on their wall. Tell them why you appreciate them or why they are special to you. If you don’t know them well enough to do that, skip the greeting all together. They won’t know you didn’t write them a message.

Update: Our Ethiopian Adoption

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It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an update about where we are in our Ethiopian adoption. Adopting internationally is a hurry up and wait proposition. A lot of things happen and then you wait, then a lot happens and you wait and this can continue for years.

A little background might help.

Our family officially began the journey of adopting 3 and a half years ago. For Katie and I, adoption was always a matter of when instead of if. When we started, we immediately felt called to adopt internationally. As we began the journey of figuring out where God was calling us, we landed on Ethiopia. We have requested a boy or girl, age 0-38 months. When we started, the average wait time for family was 5-7 months. That has since gotten longer, hence, the 3 year wait. In that time, we have raised almost $20,000 to go towards our adoption.

While the process got longer and longer, our agency gave us permission to continue expanding our family. Because of this permission, we were able to adopt Nehemiah in June of 2012.

About a month ago, we got our “on deck” email. This email means we are as close as we can be to adopting our child. Essentially, we can get a call at any moment telling us who our child is and when we need to be in Ethiopia to meet them and continue the process. From there, we will make 2 trips to Ethiopia. Our agency believes that most likely we will make these two trips by the end of 2013!

I can’t tell you how excited I am about this next step. It has been a long process, one that has been tiring and a growing time for our family as we’ve seen God provide financially and prepare our hearts as parents and the hearts of our kids to add to our family.

I’ll share tomorrow how you can be a part of the next step of bringing our son or daughter home.

The Best Album of the Year…So Far

Today, the new album from The National called Trouble Will Find Me Here came out. I’ve listened to it 3 or 4 times and it is easily the best album I’ve heard all year so far. Here’s a song from it.

Tuesday Morning Book Review || To Sell is Human

bookEvery Tuesday morning, I review a book that I read recently. If you missed any, you can read past reviews here. This week’s book is To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth about Moving Others (kindle version) by Daniel Pink.

Let me be honest, I love the work of Daniel Pink. This book is not exception.

Pink starts out by telling us how his book is for more than just salesman. The reality though, is that everyone is in sales. You may not make cold calls or get people to buy things, but you are seeking to motivate people everyday. Whether that is a boss, a child, a spouse or a friend.

For leaders, this concept is enormous, but it is even more important for pastors. Every week, when a pastor preaches, they are seeking to move people. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, they seek to help people move from where they are to their next step with God. This takes motivation. According to Pink, this takes sales. While pastors will bristle at this idea, it is also true. Call it motivation or sales, it is the same thing. According to Pink, “The average person spends 40% of their life trying to move others. We’re persuading, convincing, and influencing others to give up something they’ve got in exchange for what we’ve got.”

One of the problems Pink points out that we have when it comes to communicating is that we don’t help people identify the correct problem. This is huge for preaching, helping people see what they could fix. Pastors often answer questions people aren’t asking, and therefore don’t move the people they are preaching to.

Another takeaway for me as a preacher is helping people to see what a truth could look like in their life 5 years from now. I’ve started to say in sermons, “Imagine what your life would be like if you believed ____________.” People are often unmoved, not because they don’t understand something, but because they can’t see the benefit or goodness of something.

Here are a few things that jumped out:

  • One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover challenges they may not know they have.
  • To sell well is to convince someone else to part with resources—not to deprive that person, but to leave him better off in the end.
  • The correlation between extraversion and sales was essentially nonexistent.
  • You have to believe in the product you’re selling—and that has to show.
  • Once positive emotions outnumbered negative emotions by 3 to 1—that is, for every three instances of feeling gratitude, interest, or contentment, they experienced only one instance of anger, guilt, or embarrassment—people generally flourished.
  • Next time you’re getting ready to persuade others, reconsider how you prepare. Instead of pumping yourself up with declarations and affirmations, take a page from Bob the Builder and pose a question instead. Ask yourself: “Can I move these people?” As social scientists have discovered, interrogative self-talk is often more valuable than the declarative kind. But don’t simply leave the question hanging in the air like a lost balloon. Answer it—directly and in writing. List five specific reasons why the answer to your question is yes.
  • The problem we have saving for retirement, these studies showed, isn’t only our meager ability to weigh present rewards against future ones. It is also the connection—or rather, the disconnection—between our present and future selves.
  • The third quality necessary in moving others today: clarity—the capacity to help others see their situations in fresh and more revealing ways and to identify problems they didn’t realize they had.
  • We often understand something better when we see it in comparison with something else than when we see it in isolation.
  • So if you’re selling a car, go easy on emphasizing the rich Corinthian leather on the seats. Instead, point out what the car will allow the buyer to do—see new places, visit old friends, and add to a book of memories.
  • Clarity on how to think without clarity on how to act can leave people unmoved.
  • The purpose of a pitch isn’t necessarily to move others immediately to adopt your idea. The purpose is to offer something so compelling that it begins a conversation, brings the other person in as a participant, and eventually arrives at an outcome that appeals to both of you.
  • Questions can outperform statements in persuading others.

Overall, a worthwhile book for leaders or preachers.

Getting Through to Someone Who Isn’t Listening

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At some point, a preacher will preach a sermon that does not go well. Or at work, a conversation will not go the way you’d hoped. The expectation you had going into the conversation of the desired outcome is not met. Maybe it is at home where you and your spouse, or you and your child seem to be ships passing in the night.

In Matthew 13 is a short parable of Jesus that I’ve pastors refer to when they preach a sermon that is not met with the same enthusiasm they expected or hoped or people have used when sharing the gospel and it went nowhere.

It says:

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them.Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, somea hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.”

Notice where pastors get themselves off the hook or where we as Christians get off the hook in sharing the gospel or a conversation: Some people just aren’t open and won’t listen. What was the farmer supposed to do? The soil wasn’t ready. While that clearly happens and there is some truth there.

Notice what the farmer did. He spread the seed out, he did what he was supposed to do. It was soil, he planted seed in soil the way you are supposed to plant soil.

Many pastors and Christians who share the gospel are content to let themselves off the hook by not doing it in a way that resonates with people who don’t know Jesus.

Here are a few ideas to keep in mind when communicating to someone, whether it is at a job, about an issue that needs to be resolved or about the gospel:

  1. Put yourself in their shoes. How are they feeling? What are their roadblocks to hearing what you have to say? Many pastors don’t remember that most of the people they preach to don’t agree with them. Don’t assume you have agreement on the foundational pieces of your conversation or sermon. 
  2. Have a goal in mind. What is a win? If the conversation or sermon ends, how will you know if it is a success? Is that goal realistic? Everything should be moving in that direction. When I preach, I have a big idea. The big idea is the one idea I want everyone to leave knowing. If people can’t say it and remember it, it wasn’t a success.
  3. Remember you don’t control their response. This is true, but easy to forget. You don’t change anybody’s mind. You don’t force anybody into the kingdom of God. You don’t make someone kill an idol in their heart, the Holy Spirit does. You don’t make your child or spouse who God wants them to be, He does. Remember your role in the process.
  4. Be prepared. The farmer was prepared. If you preach, you should be obviously prepared for your sermon. Do your homework. You as a pastor pay the price for your sermon, not your church. The farmer did his job, he planted the seed and let them grow. He didn’t force them, he planted.

Links I Like

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.

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  1. How to reach people who don’t need God.
  2. Brian Howard on You’re only effective 10 hours a week, spend them well.
  3. Joe Carter on 9 things you should know about human cloning.

Treadmill Dance