When You Feel Hopeless as a Leader

leader

At some point as a leader, you will feel hopeless. As a pastor it will more than likely happen after the weekend. It is hard to keep hope alive all the time as a leader. I often read people on Twitter who are overly positive, and I wonder, “Are they really like that? Is life really that exciting for them all the time?” Then I feel like I’m doing something wrong as a leader because that isn’t me.

Should a leader be hope filled? Yes. A leader should carry the banner of hope and excitement. You are the main vision carrier of your church.

Will you always feel like doing that? Probably not. At some point you will feel like you have no hope and like you don’t want to go on.

So, what do you do then?

Here are some things I do when I feel hopeless:

  1. Pray. While this seems like the expected answer, it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Often as a leader, our last thought is to pray. We want to think, strategize, vent, read a book, figure out how to get out of this funk. Spend some quiet time with Jesus.
  2. Talk to trusted friends. A leader needs people to vent to, people who can help to shoulder the weight, people who know the weight a leader carries.
  3. Sleep. Much of the hopelessness we feel as leaders comes from the fact that we are tired and need rest.
  4. Do something active or fun. This helps to balance out the chemicals in your body. Take a hike, workout, have sex with your spouse, play with your kids. Do something fun, something recharging.
  5. Know that this won’t last forever. Hopelessness feels like the end of the world. That’s why we call it hopelessness. This won’t last forever. Tomorrow will come, another sermon will happen. This is a season that might last a day, a week or a month, but it is a season.

Stop Pushing. Start Relying.

book

I love control.

There I said it.

If you know me well, that isn’t a surprise.

My love for control often pushes me to push others. Push in my own life. Push people to work harder or be better or look better so that I can win and look good.

It isn’t because I care about what others think of me. It is because I like the feeling of control (at least the mirage of it) and winning.

There’s a problem with this. It actually keeps me from experiencing life in God and the freedom that comes from trusting Him.

Two things have proven helpful to me in this area and maybe will be something that is helpful to you.

One, praying about it. I know this seems obvious, but if we are going to rely on God’s power over something, we need to talk to Him about it. This allows us to ask Him for help and power in the areas of our lives that need it. If this is a struggle for you, I’d encourage you to bring that struggle to God. Ask Him for help in the area of your life where you need His power and direction. Give it over to Him. While He is in control and nothing happens without His direction or permission, this is about us confessing our need for Him, reminding ourselves that we will stop controlling something and let go of the wheel. This is about our hearts.

Two, get a trusted friend to walk with you and remind you of the lack of power you have in this area of your life. This is someone who can call you when you need it, challenge you when you need it and help you to let go of things in your life that only God can do and change.

This is truly the way to lasting change and the way to living the life God has called you to live. 

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How to Help Your Kids Fail

kids

Sunday I talked about how to fail forward as adults and how many people live their lives like they are using a whiffle ball bat, where they take away every possibility of failure. If you missed it, you can listen to it here.

Sadly, many parents parent this way. They stack the deck to make sure their kids never experience a setback or failure. Here are a few examples:

  • Your child announces at 8pm they have a project due tomorrow that they’ve known about for a week or two. What do you do? The whiffle ball bat parent jumps into action and gets it done, probably even finishing it after the child goes to bed.
  • Your child gets a trophy for every single sports team they are on or competition they are part of.
  • Your child never tries anything new, so the only activities they do are things they are good at (this is common among adults).

Think back to the parent and the 8pm project, what would happen if you didn’t finish the project and your child got an incomplete or F for that assignment? Would their life end? Probably not. A valuable lesson would be learned.

Because we as adults hate failure (and who doesn’t), we try to ensure that our kids don’t experience failure. The problem with that is failure is the best way to learn about something (besides learning from the failure of others). If we don’t allow our kids to experience failure of some kind, we don’t teach them how to bounce back from something, how to pick themselves up, how to react in a healthy way to life not turning out how they want (because that will happen as an adult).

In the end, we send them out of the house ill-prepared for life.

Sadly, I’ll hear from countless parents whose kids walk away from the church and one of the reasons has to do with failure and faith.

When it comes to faith, we don’t challenge and encourage our kids to have a God-sized faith. We don’t challenge them to pray impossible prayers, the ones that God will have to move for something to happen. In the end, they grow up seeing a God they don’t need, a God who seems less powerful than they are and they wonder, “Why have faith? Why have anything to do with God?” If you have a son, he sees the church as boring, not worth giving his life to and will find a mission that will drive his passion, but the world won’t be changed.

The dominos can be enormous.

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God is Always With Us

God

I read this the other day:

So Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the Negeb. Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. And he journeyed on from the Negeb as far as Bethel to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place where he had made an altar at the first. And there Abram called upon the name of the Lord. -Genesis 13:1 – 4

Abram returned to where he built his first altar.

What I often forget about Abram is that when he started walking and following God in Genesis 12, this was brand new to him. All of a sudden (it seems anyway) a voice told him to pack up and move. That’s it. And he did.

Following this God, took him to Egypt. Where Abram failed and lied.

Why?

Because he didn’t trust God.

So he leaves Egypt and returns to where he started. To where he first heard God. To where he first built an altar.

Often, after our failures and disappointments, God brings us back to where we started. He has a way when our faith is faltering to remind us of a place where our faith was strong. When struggle to trust him, he has a way of taking us to the place where we trusted him. When we find ourselves not on fire, but fizzling out, he has a way of bringing us to the place where we were on fire.

If you are in a place today, where it is hard to trust God, hard to follow God, hard to pray or listen or move forward. Return to where it began. Return to where you trusted, where you listened, prayed and followed.

Go back to where it all began.

Shouting So They’ll Listen

In his book, A Call to ResurgenceMark Driscoll shared some eye opening stats about our culture:

  • 88% believe Jesus existed.
  • 78% believe God exists.
  • 73% believe in evolution.
  • 71% believe in karma.
  • 68% believe in heaven and hell.
  • 67% believe spirituality exists in nature.
  • 65% believe in angels and demons.
  • 59% believe Jesus rose from the dead.
  • 53% believe in the devil.
  • 46% believe in extraterrestrials, aliens, or UFO’s.

This is the culture we live in, work in, play in, and pastors, this is the culture you preach to each week.

So how do Christians tend to communicate to this culture? By shouting.

We don’t necessarily walk up to people and start screaming, although, I’ve seen people with signs stand on a corner and shout at people.

Have you ever seen someone try to communicate to someone with a language barrier? Americans when they encounter someone who doesn’t speak English, they talk louder. As we’ve brought Judah into our home from Ethiopia, we have a language barrier to overcome as he speaks little English and we speak very little of his language. Our boys, in an effort to get him to play with them or do something, simply talk louder if he doesn’t respond.

That’s what Christians do.

We don’t change what we are saying, we simply say the same things only louder and with more force.

Yes, but the message doesn’t change.

That is true. The gospel is the same. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. We never stop talking about the glorious news of Jesus’ sinless life, our brokenness and need for a Savior and how Jesus met that need by dying in our place and rising from the dead and sending us the Holy Spirit. We never stop talking about that.

But, we can change how we talk about that.

Instead of shouting, find common ground, a common language. Answer questions and needs that people have.

When You Doubt God

Made for Glory

I’ve seen it so many times and every time it breaks my heart: someone whose life is held back because of doubt. 

If we are honest, all of us have doubts about Jesus. We struggle some days to believe that He can forgive us, redeem our sins, use our past for good or even that He really is who He says He is, that He is God.

What do you do with doubts?

For many people, they become their doubts, they allow their doubts to take over their lives and lead them to live in unbelief, completely missing the life God created for them to live.

Doubts keep us in the dark. Doubts keep us from experiencing freedom.

And truth be told, there is a way out of doubt.

This Sunday at Revolution Church I’ll be preaching from John 12:12 – 50 as we look at how to handle our doubts, how Jesus answers our doubts and helps us to live the life we were created to live. 

A life of freedom, passion, adventure and faith.

This is a huge Sunday at Revolution if you’ve ever struggled with doubt. 

Remember, we meet at 10am on Sunday mornings at 8300 E Speedway Blvd.

What Pain & Trials Do

We are kicking off a brand new series on James this Saturday. In one of the commentaries I’m reading, the author made this statement which summarizes what I’m talking about on Saturday really well:

We say that we believe that God is our Father, but as long as we remain untested on the point our belief falls short of steady conviction. But suppose the day comes – as it does and will – when circumstances seem to mock our creed, when the cruelty of life denies his fatherliness, his silence calls in question his almightiness and the sheer, haphazard, meaningless jumble of events challenges the possibility of a Creator’s ordering hand. It is in this way that life’s trials test our faith for genuineness.