Katie and I recently did a message on 1 Corinthians 13 in our series Fully Charged. 

It is one of the most well-known passages in the bible. It’s read at most weddings, but what is it really about? On the one hand, it is about relationships with other people. What it looks like to relate, to have a healthy marriage, friendship, or family. It also shows us what God’s love for us is like. We see a picture of a Father in heaven who loves us in a way that is hard to fathom. But it is also about what spiritual maturity looks like. In the context, Paul says we could have all kinds of gifts, but if we don’t have love, what do we have?

I think this passage is especially important in the world we live in, where we are sheltering in place, spending more time with our family, and missing some of the community that we have built.

Dave Willis said, “We are facing a defining time for marriages. No couple will emerge from this the same as they were before. You’ll either emerge from this crisis stronger by leaning on each other or weaker by fighting with each other.” and I think that’s true. 

So what does it look like to have a healthy relationship in quarantine? Paul lists out what love is and is not.

The first is…Patient.

Have you noticed that love and hurry don’t mix? Great relationships take time. They take time to develop, to get to know the other person. You don’t share your story, the details of your life with people quickly. It takes time. 

We are impatient people. We want food fast, the Internet fast, we get annoyed when Netflix buffers. 

We are impatient relationally. This plays out by being demanding, bulldozing people, and pushing too hard. We want people to work on our timetable, to make changes in their life when we think they should. But healthy relationships allow the other person to grow and develop at their speed. 

We are also impatient daily with those closest to us. We are pushing them, expecting them to be what we want, to do what we want. 

Yet, love says, “however long it takes for you to get your act together, I’ll be here.” This is showing compassion and grace in a way that doesn’t come naturally to most people; at least for me, that’s true. 

Our culture says if they don’t change fast enough, if they hold you back, move on. If they are getting in the way of your dreams, hit the road. But what if we miss out on things when we do that and have that attitude?

Can you imagine Jesus saying, “you aren’t changing fast enough, I’m done with you.” Can you imagine him saying, “Why can’t you just get over that hurt and move on or else I’m out of here?”

Patience is moving at someone else’s pace rather than pressuring them. It is staying in step with them. 

Have you ever felt pressured in a relationship? That isn’t loving. That is pushing. 

Patience is understanding the season someone else is in, how they process life and decisions. 

Patience isn’t natural to us and not encouraged at all, especially in relationships.