Photo by Garrhet Sampson on Unsplash
One of the hardest things in life and leadership is feeling ready for success and effectiveness but having it elude you.
You might look around at other leaders, pastors, or churches and wonder, “Why do they seem to have the effectiveness and health, and I don’t?” The same thing can happen in relationships when it seems like others have an easier time than you do.
There are things you can and can’t control regarding effectiveness in life and leadership.
One of the things you can’t control is God’s timing for your life. I remember reading a quote from Martyn Lloyd-Jones years ago where he said, “The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready.” Sometimes in life and leadership, you aren’t ready for the dreams that you have. There may be some lessons you need to learn; there may be some lessons others need to learn before they can come and help you take your next step.
The other thing I’ve realized the longer I’m in leadership is that looking back, I didn’t want the things I dreamed about. Every pastor, at some point, dreams of speaking on a big stage, writing books, and having a large platform, but deep down, many aren’t willing to make the sacrifices it takes to get there. You need to work long hours to be successful and effective at anything. Your life needs to revolve around something; the most successful are making sacrifices that others aren’t. There is a reason that few megachurch-lead pastors make it to the end of ministry with a marriage and family intact. And a lot of that has to do with the sacrifice and pressure others must make for someone to be successful.
A few years ago, I started to ask successful people, what things have you given up to get where you are? What sacrifices have you or your family made for your success? This question can be eye-opening when you hear the answers.
I’ve talked to several “successful” pastors who have marriages that aren’t fulfilling or ones who rarely speak to their kids. I’ve talked to countless leaders who are incredibly lonely and have enormous platforms.
One of the things it showed me was what I wanted out of life. I heard some answers and thought, “I don’t want to give that up.” When you realize that, you can see that you don’t want what that person has because you aren’t willing to do what that person did.
That’s okay.
Some of this is the season of life, and some is simply your life calling.
So, before you start to envy the life someone has, look at the sacrifices they had to make to get there and then ask, “Do I want to make those sacrifices?” If you don’t, that’s okay; it just means you have a different life.
