Photo by Thiago Barletta on Unsplash

Have you ever noticed that it is sometimes easier to be more open about your marriage or an area of your life with someone other than your spouse? Sometimes, venting about something on social media or to a friend or co-worker is easier than to your spouse.

Pastors do this, too.

One of the things people love in a sermon is when a pastor is open and vulnerable when they talk about their life. When they share their struggles, what they are learning, and how God is moving in their life.

Some pastors struggle with this. How much to share, when to share, what to share.

Many pastors love doing this, though.

Why?

Because people feel connected to us, and we feel connected to them. It creates conversations and connections through the act of preaching. 

Pastors also like it because it puts the spotlight on us, a battle many pastors fight against. 

The reality is that people like to talk about themselves, even if it is a struggle or a hurt in the past. 

Pastors are no different in this struggle.

Here is where many pastors then rob their marriages.

This doesn’t happen intentionally.

Pastors can be more open in their sermons than in their marriages.

I remember that after one sermon years ago, everything clicked, and it was a great sermon. I shared some things, and I could feel the room connecting. Everything went great that day. Afterward, Katie said, “I never knew that stuff.”

She was right. I was more open in a sermon than with her.

It’s easy to do, and many wives know the feeling of sitting in church and hearing their husband share something for the first time, thinking, “I wish he had told me that before.” Not because they are embarrassed but because they want to be close to their husband. They want the same vulnerability in their marriage, as he shows on stage in a sermon.