All of us have things in our lives that we wish we were free from. Sins, hurts, betrayals, hang-ups, and addictions ruin so many parts of our lives. They have destroyed relationships, created all kinds of stress, destroyed careers, and taken us so far off track that it is sometimes hard to find the path to the life God wants us to live. 

We try all kinds of things to get our lives and relationships together. We listen to podcasts, go to counseling, join groups, and read books. All of those can be helpful, so you should do them. But as we see in 1 John, John gives us a clear first step to freedom: Confession. 

Confession is the doorway to God’s grace and forgiveness.

But it is often the last thing we want to do. We don’t like to apologize to anyone, especially God. We, like the people John was writing to, would like to minimize the sin in our lives. Act as if it’s no big deal, or as if there’s no sin in your hearts and lives. 

Yet, deep down, we know that there is. 

We need confession. 

But why? John tells us in 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

Our confession is not successful because we are really sorry or groveling. Our confession is successful because of who God is, because of his character.

If we’re honest, confession is not something we like to do. We don’t want to do it in our relationships. We don’t like to apologize. In fact, when someone says we hurt them, a favorite apology in our culture is, “I’m sorry you felt hurt.” That’s not an apology, that’s blaming them for being hurt.

My guess is that you don’t like to confess wrongdoing to someone else or to God. It shows weakness, need, and admits we did something wrong.

Confession, though, is something we must do; our soul, our heart, needs confession. Our relationship with God needs confession.

We need God’s grace, and it is only through confession that we receive it.

Confession is being honest with yourself and God about who you are and who He is.

But how do we practice this? 

Richard Foster, in his excellent book Celebration of Discipline, said there are 3 things involved in confession:

1. We examine ourselves. Where is our sin? Where does it stem from? We ask our kids, Why did you do that?

That’s a great question during the examination of your heart. This is where our souls come under the gaze of God. We’ve already been told God is light, and that is a good thing. In this, we are also inviting God to show us places that need forgiveness and healing. 

Be specific. 

Do you know what is amazing in the gospels? When people came to Jesus, they came with particular things—specific requests. Bring specific things to Jesus in confession, specific situations, relationships, and specific hurts. Don’t generalize.

2. Sorrow. Sorrow is one of the reasons we avoid confession. But sorrow is crucial. We have sinned against both someone and God. This is a godly sorrow because what we have done is against the heart of God.

3. A determination to avoid sin. This is where we ask God to give us a passion for holy living, to provide us with a desire to fight our sin, and to help us hate it.