Category Archives: Healthy Living

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A Simple Way to Take Control of Your Schedule

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Have you ever gotten to the end of your day and wonder what you did with your time?

That you ran your kids from one activity to the other, you were in one meeting after another, putting out one fire after another, but you aren’t sure if you accomplished anything.

Have you ever gotten to the end of your day and wonder what you did with your time?

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It is more normal than you think.

Most of us flop down at the end of the day and think, “I know I did things today but did they matter? Were they important?”

Think about it; you lived 24 hours, what do you have to show for it?

Think about it, you lived 24 hours, what do you have to show for it?

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Over the last year, I’ve done three practices that have become enormously helpful in taking control of my day.

3 practices to help you take control of your life.

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1. Decide the three most important things to accomplish today. I got this from Michael Hyatt, but the reason this matters is that your schedule and life can get overloaded quickly.

Also, if you’re like most people, it is easier to focus on the urgent (the fires that pop up each day) than focus on the things that are important and matter the most.

Deciding each day ahead of time, on the three most important things to do helps to navigate where my day goes.

Each week, I lay out the three most important things and then each day I work through the things I need to get done. I

2. Reflect at the end of the day on those three things. At the end of each day and week, look at those three things and see how far you got.

For the longest time, I would feel like my life was a never-ending loop of unfinished tasks because I never celebrated or crossed things off.

Doing this will also help you to figure out your schedule for the coming day when you’re able to see what is left undone.

3. Write down three things I’m grateful for. This practice has changed my mindset a great deal. And, don’t miss this, your mindset (the things you focus on) has an enormous impact on your life.

Each night, I write down what I’m grateful for. Things I’ve experienced that day or felt.

This has helped me to see how God is at work in my life and the gifts He’s given to me.

Honestly, if there is something that has raised the happiness level in my life, it is this.

3 practices to help you take control of your schedule.

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How to Be Still When Life is Busy

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Psalm 46:10 is an often quoted verse. It says, Be still and know that I am God. It’s on coffee mugs, posters, greeting cards. It is an invitation to experience God, to rest, slow down.

It is also an invitation that I and many others reject on a daily basis.

Our rejection of this invitation is interesting because of how tired most Americans are, how worn out we are, how run down we are from living life. You would think, the invitation from God for us to be still and know that He is God would be a welcome invitation.

But we reject it.

First off, to be still and know that He is God means I need to admit that I am not God. I have to admit there are things outside of my control. Things I can’t do. Things I can’t handle. There are people and situations I cannot control. This is not a facade many of us are willing to give up any time soon. We know we aren’t in control, but we are content to live with the idea that we might be.

Second, for me to be still, I am going to have to stop. Which means, slowing down, ending things, resting. The reason most Americans don’t Sabbath and rest isn’t that we don’t know how to or aren’t very good at it. We don’t rest and slow down because we don’t want to. As long as we are busy, we don’t have to think about what is broken in our lives. We don’t have to think about that situation from 10 years ago we are trying to forget that we have never dealt with. Being still often means facing our sin. Being still gives God the opportunity to speak to us. As long as we are moving, we can drown Him out and not think about those broken places in our lives.

Third, is the crucial word know. Most of the time, when we talk about faith in God or a lack of faith, it all has to do with our feelings. We talk about not feeling in love as a reason for divorce. We don’t feel God’s love, so it must not be real is a comment I’ve heard countless times. But, Psalm 46 tells us to know that He is God. Not feel. Feelings are fleeting and easy to dismiss. Knowing means, I must slow down to ask, “What do I know about God? Looking at the world around me, what does that say about God? How have I seen God be faithful to redeem other things in my life, why not this thing I won’t give up?”

We don’t slow down, not because we can’t or don’t have time. We don’t stop because deep down, we want to be God. We don’t want God to speak to us about those broken places in our lives; we’d like to keep being the victim in that situation instead of facing it and having him redeem it.

But the invitation still stands, by accepting it, we find rest. We find life. We find a place where we can let go of worries, hurt, frustrations and be with God. Exactly what we need.

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How to Fight Cynicism

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When you’re in your 20’s, starting in your career, life, or marriage you have dreams.

Great dreams.

Dreams that get you out of bed in the morning and that excite you.

You have dreams that propel you to do difficult things, take crazy risks, bet the farm, take jobs that don’t pay well because they are exciting and fill you with passion.

How to fight for contentment in life, marriage, and ministry.

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But something happens along the way, and you look up one day and think, “I thought I’d be somewhere different right now.”

In marriage, this happens when you thought your marriage would feel differently than it does. Assuming you’d have kids by now, that your kids would be different than they are, that my spouse would be different than they are.

What to do when your marriage isn’t like the marriage you imagined in your head.

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Our careers hit this place where we thought we would be making more, more fulfilled, more excited or at a different level in our company.

Pastors feel this when they look at your church, but it isn’t the church they imagined. The passion they once felt, the vision they once had isn’t there.

What to do when your church isn’t like the church you imagined in your head.

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Carey Nieuwhof said, “Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do.”

Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do. -@cnieuwhof

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The places in our lives where we become cynical are deeply personal places to us — personal hopes and dreams that we carry for our present and future.

In this place, we have to battle for contentment and fight cynicism.

One of the things we miss when we think about contentment is that our contentment in life, marriage, parenting, and leadership is not just about us but all the people connected to us. Our spouse and kids are affected by our contentment or lack thereof.

If you are a pastor, leader or boss, those that follow you are impacted by the contentment or cynicism that you feel.

We can easily beat ourselves up because of contentment and cynicism ebb and flow in life.

But how do you fight for contentment, especially if you are not naturally a positive person?

3 ways to fight cynicism.

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Get around contented people. A thankful person is a joy to be around. Get around them, listen to them. They have peace that few other people have.

Learn what leads to cynicism. If you are a church planter or pastor, cynicism comes from hearing about a larger church or hearing about a church planter who was given a building out of the blue (that’s mine). If you are a parent, it might be hearing about another family or seeing something on Instagram. Know your triggers. Know when they might hit. Hint: it will often happen when you are tired or emotionally depleted. Just be aware of that.

Be grateful for what you have. One of the practices that have helped me this past year is writing down at least three things I am thankful for each day. This has caused me to pause in my day and see how things are going well, things I can celebrate.

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The Addiction of Being Busy

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There is an addiction in our culture to being busy, to not overloading our schedules.

Some of this comes from personalities, saying we want our kids to have things we didn’t have, but many of us are afraid to miss out.

We are also afraid of the silence and stillness that comes from unaccounted for moments.

We afraid of the silence and stillness that comes from unaccounted for moments.

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Many of us are too busy, running from work, kids games and practices, church programs, exercise, eating in the car, etc. I will often hear people say, “I’d like to do ______________ (usually something that would enrich their marriage, health or relationship with God) but I just don’t have the time.” The reality is, we don’t have the time because we don’t make the time.

We don’t have the time because we don’t make the time.

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But why are we busy? Many of us are busy, work too much, run from activity to activity because we don’t want to stop. We don’t want to be with our family, spouse, alone with ourselves, with friends, whatever because we don’t want to stop. We are addicted to the adrenaline that comes from being busy.

This is a big one: we also don’t want to slow down because of what we will have to do if we slow down.

We don’t want to slow down because of what we will have to do if we slow down.

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It is easier to stay busy at work or run kids to different things than being honest with your spouse, working on issues in your heart or dealing with past hurts. Many people overwork because of the accolades they get from it. This often stems from an approval idol in their hearts. They didn’t get approval from a coach, parent or teacher at a young age, so they will try to get that approval from someone else now.

We are busy for more power, prestige, control, you name it. Pastors overwork so their church will love them, compliment them, so their church will grow. Mostly Godly reasons, but at the end of the day it is often to feed the idol in their heart.

We also tell ourselves things like, “this is just a season.” But slowly one season becomes another which becomes another.

In the long run, we think we are running after the right life, but we are missing the life right in front of us.

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The Hidden Secret to the Good Life

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Everyone is looking for the good life.

This is why you’re here on this blog and why you read other blogs, listen to podcasts, seek out advice from mentors and coaches and why you get up and go to work every day.

The Hidden Secret to the Good Life

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What if I told you, that the good life, is less about what you do, what you accomplish and more about what you enjoy?

In a culture that rewards doing this seems counterintuitive.

The reason it is counterintuitive is that few of us do this well.

We are so busy going after things that we rarely stop to ask if we want what we’re going after.

Yes, you work hard to make money, but do you want the sacrifices and losses that come with that? That can range from loss of family time, higher stress and aggravation.

What if, what if you had everything you needed?

Many of us live as if God will ask us at the end of our lives if we lived the good life, if we climbed the highest ladder, if we raised our kids to climb the highest ladder or if we achieved the highest status possible. When in reality, God will ask us if we fulfilled his calling on our lives with our only life.

While there can and often is overlap between the two, they are often very different.

What this does besides stress in our lives and a sense of longing for more, it leaves us feeling like we’re missing out or that we somehow are living the wrong life. We daydream about another life, another opportunity when the one we should go after is right in front of us.

For the most driven of us, it leaves us missing out on the present in our lives.

Many of us, spend so much time on our phones or grabbing moments on our phones that we fail to live the moments we’ve captured on our phones.

Recently, I’ve started a practice that has been incredibly helpful to me. At the end of each day, write down three things I’m grateful for. Three things, I can thank God for.

For me, this has caused me to be more thankful, to be more present throughout my day, but it has also helped me to see the small things God is doing in my life.

Most of us are on the looking for huge things from God (which He does), but most of life is lived in the small moments with God and others.

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Your Work Matters

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Think about where you spend the majority of your time. For most of us, that’s at work. If you’re a stay at home mom, you stay home. That’s the majority.

Then, the other places. Church, the gym, neighborhood, classes, meetings.

How do you make yourself more useful or effective there?

How do you spend your time on the things that matter? The things that you’re designed to do?

Many of us would like to get better at those things but often struggle with finding meaning in those places.

We wonder, what impact do I make in my life? Do people feel my presence or know I’m there when I’m working?

The reality is though; God cares deeply about our work. Our work for many of us is an outgrowth of our calling and purpose in our lives.

Your work matters to God.

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Our work is a reflection of our worship of God.

Some would even say that our work = worship.

You see this if someone is fair, lazy, a workaholic or balanced.

How we work matters to God because it reflects what we believe about God and what matters most in life.

How you work matters to God.

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Recently, I preached through Nehemiah 3, and when you open it, you see a list of names and the work they did to rebuild the city wall around Jerusalem.

Some of the work sounded glamorous. Some worked on the valley gate and the fountain gate. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? The fountain gate. I bet the valley gate was beautiful in the valley. I wonder if there was a stream?

But some worked on the dung gate. How do you think that assignment sounded?

The reality is, someone had to fix it. Otherwise, the wall would have a hole in it.

In a church, work, family, someone has to do it. Why? It needs to be done.

In our family, like yours, someone has to empty the dishwasher, take the trash out. Do my kids love that? No. Do they get paid for doing that? No, they do it because they’re part of our family.

In the same way, at your work or your church, that needs to be done, and you’re there.

Here’s a question I hear a lot: What do you do if you haven’t found your thing yet?

Much of the time it comes from a longing for our lives to matter and to have a purpose, sometimes it comes from jealousy and envy we have of others.

A lot of times, we don’t do anything because we’re waiting for our thing.

Here’s an important principle in life and leadership: Do something until you’re doing your thing.

Do something until you’re doing your thing.

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Should we try to find the thing we’re passionate about doing? Yes. But often we learn that thing by doing other things, things that maybe we aren’t gifted at or passionate about doing.

We learn we love sales or teaching through trying things out. We find we are creative or task-oriented by doing things. The first time I stood in front of a group and spoke I was terrified, but I was exhilarated during and after the experience.

Here’s a principle that applies whether serving at church, reading your bible and praying, dating your spouse, time with your kids, building a business: Something is better than nothing.

Something is better than nothing.

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Right now, you aren’t able to do all that you want to do, but you can do something.

Start there.

In those two principles, we often find why and how our work matters and how to make the impact that God calls us to.

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How to Beat Distractions at Work & Home to Reach Your Goals

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Distractions are everywhere.

The New York Times reported, a typical office worker gets interrupted every 11 minutes – yet it takes an average of 25 minutes to return to the original task.

So, learning what distractions are and training yourself to avoid them is crucial to success at work.

It isn’t just at work though.

Distractions rear their ugly heads at home, and they keep us from the most important relationships in our lives.

So, what are the distractions at work and home?

Your phone.

Social media.

That latest app or time wasting game.

Clutter.

Multi-tasking.

Noise.

Hunger.

Email.

Kids activities.

Regrets over past mistakes.

Worries about tomorrow.

Slack and trello.

Binging on TV.

Andy Stanley said: Regardless of the nature of your vision, or visions if you are not careful, you will get distracted. The daily grind of life is hard on visions. Life is now. Bills are now. The crisis is now. Vision is later. It’s easy to lose sight of the main thing, to sacrifice the best for the sake of the good. All of us run the risk of allowing secondary issues to rob us of the joy of seeing our visions through to completion. Distractions can slowly kill a vision.

Distractions can slowly kill a vision. -Andy Stanley

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So what do you do?

The reality is, you can’t plan for distractions but you can do your best to minimize them.

You can and should do things like turning your phone off, turn off email and text message notifications. You shouldn’t have social media notifications on your phone. Schedule when you do your email and when you don’t.

But if you do that, it won’t guarantee you won’t have distractions.

So what then?

Here are two questions that help me navigate my day and accomplish what I need to:

Two questions to accomplish what you need to in one day.

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What is most important to you?

This question is something you need to determine every day, whether it is at home, with your kids, at school or at work.

Each morning, I lay out the 3 most important things I need to accomplish each day.

This helps me to focus my time and energy.

Most of us allow other people to determine what is most important for us. Whether that is a school, a boss or a spouse. Sometimes this is out of your control, but often it is not.

What do you have the energy for?

The reality is, it might be essential, but you may not have the mental, emotional or physical capacity for it.

Each day for me is different like it is for you.

I have more energy on some days than others. Those are the days I plan my most important work.

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How to Maximize Your Summer Vacation

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It’s the end of summer and you might be wondering why I’m writing a post about summer vacation.

How to maximize your summer vacation next year.

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The reason is simple.

If you want a great summer vacation, a great summer preaching break, you have to plan it. Too many leaders wait until May when they are running on fumes to start thinking about summer vacation and by then, it is really hard to plan a good one.

You have to think through:

  • What will recharge you personally? What will recharge your spouse? Your kids?
  • Who will do your job when you are gone?
  • What will be fun?
  • How will you pay for all that fun?

So, to help you, here are a few common questions I get about a summer break:

5 ways to maximize your summer vacation.

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Why take a summer break?

This has a ton of reasons, in no particular order. Preaching and leading are hard work. If you’re a pastor who preaches regularly, coming up with something to say every week is tiring. Preaching is tiring. As Charles Spurgeon put it, “It is spiritual warfare every week.” It is mentally, spiritually, relationally, physically and emotionally draining. It is healthy for a pastor to recharge physically, mentally and spiritually. It is good for a church to hear other voices than just their pastor. It is helpful for a pastor’s family for him to get out of the weekly grind of preaching. Doing the other work of a pastor is just different.

Why don’t pastors and leaders take a summer break?

I think many pastors and leaders are afraid to do it. They are afraid to not be at their church as if it all revolves around them or is dependent on them. I love hearing that on a night I am not there that not only does everything run smoothly, but also that our attendance is up, we have a ton of first-time guests, etc. Your church can run without you; God doesn’t need you.

As well, many leaders feel like they need to be running, selling all the time. Get your hustle on!

You can take a break and in fact, as the authors of The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal points out, regularly resting increases your performance, and work.

What do you do on a summer break?

Now we get to the goal of your summer break and vacation.

Do you want to learn? Grow in something? Rest and recharge? Do you want to work ahead?

My summer break encapsulates much of that. One of the other advantages for a pastor in taking a break from preaching is working ahead on sermons, using that time to work on your church instead of working in your church. Which is crucial for a leader.

One of the other things I seek to do is spend extended time in the Scripture. Because much of my job is thinking about and prepping the next sermon I am preaching it is easy to not spend time letting the word speak into my soul. During this time, I spend time just letting God speak to my life without thinking about how I can fit that into a sermon. I’ve always thought of a spiritual life like a bucket and if it gets too low, there isn’t anything to give out. And pastor’s give out every week from their spiritual lives as they preach and counsel. During this time, I get to fill my bucket up, which is a huge blessing for the rest of the year.

This is also an opportunity to serve your spouse. What would they find helpful and recharging on your break? How can they rest and rejuvenate?

My elders think this is nuts, how do I teach them this is a good thing?

If there is one thing many pastors need to grow in, it is the ability to lead up to their elders. It isn’t that your elders are against this or something else, they just lack an understanding of what it means to do your job.

Over the years, I’ve had elders who are supportive of this and ones that are not.

Most people have no idea how hard prepping a sermon and giving a sermon is. They have no idea what the warfare is like, what it does to your adrenal glands and your body overall. You might need to do some research and teach them this. Teach your church about the value of other communicators besides yourself.

Two books that have helped me in this area are Adrenaline and Stress and Adrenal Fatigue. 

If after all this, they still won’t budge. Just take all your vacation at the same time and be gone from your church for 2-4 weeks and don’t call it a preaching break just take your vacation.

I’ve been blessed that my elders see the value in this for me and our church. I shoot to preach 35 weekends a year at Revolution. Each staff member is given 7 Sundays a year where they can be gone from Revolution.

How do you prep for a break?

This is something often overlooked. It is a lot like prepping for a vacation. We’ve already talked about how to figure out what to do on your break, but you have to prepare mentally and physically for the crash that follows. A pastor’s body is so used to the adrenaline that comes from preaching that when you don’t do it, your body goes through withdraw because it craves the adrenaline it is used to having. You have to be aware of this and realize that in the first week of your break you will be tired, cranky, irritable as your body regulates. Being aware of this is huge and talking with your spouse about it.

You also have to figure out who will do what while you’re gone, who will answer email, texts messages and how you will handle social media. I do my best to shut off all of those while I’m on my vacation.

5 questions to maximize your summer vacation.

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You Are a Vision Caster

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Words matter.

They are powerful.

They can bring about life and encourage people to reach new heights.

They can tear down and keep people stuck and missing out on all that could and should be.

Many times we wonder, what can one person do.

Think for a moment of a person who spoke life into you. It could be a mentor, teacher, coach, pastor or parent. They believed in you, saw something in you before you saw it. They encouraged you, gave you opportunities you didn’t deserve.

It breathed life into you. It made you think; someone thinks I can do this and it pushed you.

Now, think of the opposite.

A person who said, “you can’t, you won’t, it’s not possible.” A teacher, mentor, parent, pastor or coach who shatter your dreams and vision.

We underestimate the power of words.

But they matter.

Words have a way of speaking us into a future.

Words have the power to get us into a future.

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Recently, my wife Katie was at the dentist, and the dentist was talking about his kids. He has twins, a boy, and a girl. His daughter is great at school, but his son doesn’t want to study or read. So they were driving recently, and the dentist saw a homeless person and looked at his son and said, “That’s what happens if you don’t do well in school and love to read.”

No one is shamed into a greater future.

You don’t shame someone to a greater future.

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Shame is an enormous and influential factor in our lives and stories.

As you walk through life today, you can speak life or death into the lives of others.

You can also allow the words of others to spur you on or cut you down.

Don’t underestimate the power of words.

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One Reason You Don’t Reach Your Goals

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Depending on your personality or how you were brought up, you probably fall into one of two camps when it comes to your life and goals. You either plan everything out, taking away every possible surprise, thinking through every worst case scenario so that you are prepared for whatever life throws at you. Or, you fly by the seat of your pants.

Are You a Planner?

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If you still aren’t sure which one you are (or if you think, I’m both), imagine this scenario: You get in the passenger seat of a friend’s car and have no idea where you are going. How long does it take you to get stressed out? Some of you have hives just from the thought.

One isn’t necessarily right or wrong in all situations.

The reality is, we all have goals. We all have hopes and dreams for our lives and those around us.

I’ve been reading through Proverbs recently, and I’ve been blown away by how many verses talk about planning and thinking ahead or getting advice from others. Here are just a few:

  • Where there is no guidance, the people fall; but in abundance of counselors, there is victory. -Proverbs 11:14
  • A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t, and even brags about it. -Proverbs 13:16
  • Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors, they succeed. -Proverbs 15:22
  • Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance. -Proverbs 20:18
  • The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. -Proverbs 21:5
  • A prudent man foresees the difficulties ahead and prepares for them; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. -Proverbs 22:3
  • Get the facts at any price, and hold on tightly to all the good sense you can get. -Proverbs 23:23
  • Any enterprise is built by wise planning, becomes strong through common sense, and profits wonderfully by keeping abreast of the facts. -Proverbs 24:3-4

Is it possible to plan God out of your life and future? Yes, and lots of people do it. We can make too many plans, think through every possibility so that we don’t need God’s guidance and power.

It is also possible to miss the work God wants to do because of poor planning.

Opportunities are missed because a budget wasn’t put together or stuck to. We miss out on opportunities or dreams because we didn’t have the money to take advantage of something or say yes to something.

Many marriages and relationships grow stale because we start going through the motions instead of planning the way we used to when we dated.

A wise person goes to God, has a plan, works from a plan, is willing to modify that plan as life unfolds. A wise person never walks into a situation unsure about what to do. They also live with the awareness that they may have to pivot when things don’t go as expected.