Category Archives: Healthy Leadership

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2018 Leadership Summit – 16 Leadership Quotes from Angela Ahrendts

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Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit. To capture what I’m learning and to help you grow as a leader, I always share my notes from each session, so be sure to check back after each session and bookmark them for future use.

The first session featured a talk from Angela Ahrendts, who is the Senior V.P. of Retail for Apple. Her talk focused on how empathy is an essential quality for leadership.

The following are some takeaways:

  1. Values are the foundation of everything you are.
  2. Core values that are our strengths make us valuable to others.
  3. The higher you go as a leader, the more important it is to connect and over communicate.
  4. A leader needs to walk slowly through the crowd.
  5. A morning routine is incredibly important in the life of a leader.
  6. In hiring, look for a we kind of person instead of a me kind of person.
  7. It’s not about hiring great individuals but how they fit into the team.
  8. Brands are bigger than cultures.
  9. Simple things about branding: know why you’re doing it (the deeper purpose behind something), that why needs to become a core value of the company.
  10. Every team and organization should always know if they are doing what they set out to do.
  11. Motivating people: to move people you have to be able to understand them.
  12. You can teach people anything but you can’t teach people to care.
  13. Leaders need to focus on what people feel from them.
  14. Look people in the eye.
  15. Talk to people. Celebrate people. Thank people.
  16. Ask: what would I want people to say to me?
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2018 Leadership Summit – 32 Leadership Quotes from Craig Groeschel

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Every year, my team and I attend the leadership summit. This year, there is a shadow hanging over the summit as I outlined here, but I’m still trusting that it will have some incredibly helpful content, just like in past years. To capture what I’m learning and to help you grow as a leader, I always share my notes from each session, so be sure to check back after each session and bookmark them for future use.

The first session featured a talk from Craig Groeschel. He is the Senior Pastor of Life.Church and the author of many books. His session was on what it looks like to be a leader that people love to follow.

The following are some takeaways:

  1. When the leader gets better, everyone gets better.
  2. Leadership is never about title and position, it is about trust and influence.
  3. Leaders are given great power and must wield that for the good of others.
  4. Leaders can make excuses or make a difference, but they can’t make both.
  5. A humble leader can learn from anybody.
  6. The two areas a leader needs to grow in is leadership (where are you taking me) and emotional intelligence (how are you treating me).
  7. There’s a difference between a leader who is popular and one who is respected.
  8. You will never be respected if you are only trying to be respected.
  9. The 3 feelings you will have under great and trusted leadership: you feel valued, inspired, and empowered.
  10. Leaders need a heart to care.
  11. You will never be a leader that people love to follow if you don’t love people.
  12. An essential part of being a leader is I notice, You matter.
  13. Appreciate more than you think you should. Then double it.
  14. Leaders need a passion to inspire. 
  15. There is a difference between inspiration and motivation.
  16. Motivation is about pushing people to do something they don’t want to do.
  17. Inspiring is pulling out of them what is already inside of them.
  18. Inspired employees are twice as productive as employees who call themselves satisfied.
  19. Following through is inspiring.
  20. The most important quality is a centered leader. A centered leader is secure, stable, confident, not easily distracted or swayed, fully engaged.
  21. A centered leader is guided by values, driven by purpose.
  22. All you need as a leader to inspire people is 1 or 2 developed strengths.
  23. Leaders need a willingness to empower.
  24. The best leaders unleash higher performance through empowerment, not command and control.
  25. You can have control or growth, but you can’t have both.
  26. If you delegate tasks, you’re creating followers. If we delegate authority, we are creating leaders.
  27. We do this as leaders by making the decisions that only we can make.
  28. The fewer decisions you are making, the better you are as a leader.
  29. The strength of an organization is reflected by how deep into it people have the ability to say yes.
  30. The best way to find out if you trust someone is to trust them.
  31. If you don’t trust your team, you are either too controlling or you have the wrong people.
  32. Leaders need the courage to be real, vulnerable, stand up with humility and take risks even when you’re scared. 
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Bill Hybels, Leadership and Finishing Well

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I’ve debated whether or not to say anything about Bill Hybels and Willow Creek, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like sharing what is running through my head and heart, and some thoughts for leaders. Others have written a lot on what happened, why it happened and what Willow should do. I’ll do some of that, but talk about my perspective.

For context, I interned with the WCA in the summer of 2001. It was one of the highlights of my life (one reason is I got engaged that summer). I had a 2-hour commute each day, and Willow had an audio library you could check out talks and sermons. I was wading into the waters of church planting and leadership at the time, so during that summer I listened to every Leadership Summit talk I could and many sermons by Hybels and John Ortberg to learn from them.

I was a sponge that summer.

When I first started reading the reports and accusations about Hybels this spring, my heart sunk.

I’ve never met Bill Hybels, but from a distance, he had an enormous impact on me. His passion for the church, evangelism, was convicting to me as a young leader. All those came to the surface even more on Sunday when the NY Times article came out.

First, I’m sad. I can’t imagine the pain and heartache all those women have walked through as they have bravely stepped forward to share their story. Is their evidence it is all true? I don’t know, but it seems overwhelming that it is. As a pastor, I’ve sat across from enough victims to see the devastation they are walking through and have walked through. I also can’t imagine what Bill Hybels family is walking through at this moment. It is easy for us to forget the family and those around someone like Bill Hybels at this moment. They didn’t choose this. They weren’t a part of this and yet, they will feel the ripple effects of the choices of one man and those choices will be etched into everyone’s lives forever. It’s sad when you think about the influence Willow Creek has had and how that tarnishes Jesus in our culture and world. Yes, I know and believe that all things are being redeemed and are redeemable, but this is the reality for these families and this church. Granted, as others have pointed out, the church has not made wise choices during this situation.

Second, I’m angry and confused by it all. There is something that happens when someone you’ve looked up to (whether close up or from a distance) and that person loses their ministry and influence. When I read the NY Times article on Sunday, I was angry. It hit me a lot harder than I expected. I shared this with a friend, and he said, “That’s because you’re human and not a robot.” I’ve watched friends, inside and outside of the church, wreck their lives by the decisions they made. At first, I’m angry because I think, “how could you do that?” But then I look at my heart and know I could do it (and so could you). We are always one choice away from wrecking our lives.

Third, I’ve been asked if I’m still going to the summit this week. The answer is yes. I debated it. The reality is, it is still connected to Hybels, his shadow is enormous. I’m going to show up early to watch their announcement (although I wish they did it at the start instead of 15 minutes before the event starts) and I’m going to be praying they are courageous leaders at a leadership summit and do what is right. I also think that those who are speaking have a lot of wisdom to share and have a unique opportunity this week to cast a vision for the church with this hanging over the summit. We are, in many ways, watching a leadership case study unfold.

Now, for pastors and leaders.

Situations like this are opportunities to make us sit back to ask questions.

In his book Impact: Great Leadership Changes Everything by Tim Irwin, he says there are five steps to wrecking your life, or as he would say derailing your life. They are:

  1. Lack of self-awareness. When a person doesn’t know what could bring them down, they don’t know what their weaknesses are. Is it money, greed, power, sex, lust, a bigger house or car? What are they willing to trade their marriage, reputation, kids or future in for? If you don’t know that, you will be brought down.
  2. Arrogance or misguided confidence. when a person sees someone wreck their life and says, “That could never happen to me.” This is when a person sins once and says, “I already did it once, what is one more time?” They have supreme confidence they can stop whenever or take back control whenever they choose, or, that it won’t destroy their life.
  3. Missed warning signals. This might be close calls in getting caught, being late to work for staying up too late, conviction from the Holy Spirit that you push away or even evidence that you might get caught.
  4. Rationalization. This is when you start to say things like, “I deserve this.” Or, “This is my only vice.” Or, you blame someone else for your situation. “If my spouse was more attentive.” Or, “If I had a little more money we could get ahead.” Or, “My kids will understand when their older why I had to work as I did.”
  5. Derailment. Eventually, with enough time, enough rationalizations, you hit the wall and derail your life.
5 things we can learn from Willow Creek and Bill Hybels.

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As Irwin says, there are early warning signs. Those early warning signs show up early in our lives. They show up in our family of origin. I think leaders do themselves a disservice if they don’t dive into their stories. Understanding where they’ve come from, what is in their past, what has already gone before them, etc. Every leader should know what the thing that can bring them down is and how to guard against that.

I think in many ways, church leaders are at an important crossroads. We are becoming what many in our culture figured we were. For me, this has caused me to think anew about my boundaries, broken places I need to confess, digging into real friendships that will breathe life into me and hold me accountable. It has renewed a passion for finishing the call God has placed on my life. I hope that situations like this do the same for other leaders. So much is at stake, in our lives as leaders, our families, but for those, we lead and interact with.

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How to Set Goals as a Church Staff

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It’s Tuesday, and the whirlwind of this past Sunday is still blowing through your church office. There are people to call, meetings to attend, to schedule, to prepare for, counseling to done, sermons and lessons to write.

Why?

Sunday is coming, and people have needs. They are struggling in their marriage, with finances, their kids, career direction.

For most leaders in churches, merely surviving the week is a goal.

How to get out of the whirlwind of church ministry.

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That isn’t what we signed up to do.

There has to be a way to get your head out of the clouds, above the whirlwind and see what is happening and work on the right things. 

But how?

How to see ahead for your church.

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For our church staff, we’ve tried a variety of ways to make this happen.

We’ve created annual plans but found that it was hard to forecast a year out. We still look at a year out, as you’ll see in a minute, but we do that year out by making 90-day goals.

How to make 90-day goals for your church staff.

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First, we sit down as a team and list out every area in our church. Someone around the table should have responsibility for a category you discuss. This list needs to include every area. Some examples: kids ministry, students, first impressions, worship service, social media, preaching, staff, etc.

Then, taking one at a time everyone shares what is right, wrong, missing and confusing in each area. (hat tip to a mentor of mine Brian Jones for coming up with these four categories). The right part is essential because this is a chance to brag on the person who leads it and the team involved with this, to celebrate what God is doing. If it is hard to think of what is right in an area, maybe ask, what doesn’t need to be fixed right now instead.

Once you have your list of what is missing, wrong or confused (and there will be some overlap between those lists), the person who leads that area puts dates next to them. Are these issues that need to be worked on or fixed in the next 90 days, six months or 12+ months from now?

Then, I meet with each person individually to go over them. This step is vital for a couple of reasons: the lead pastor can often see things that others can’t regarding importance. The person leading an area can see things that are important that the lead pastor can’t.

The ones that are 90-day goals, we create OKR’s for each one. So, let’s say (a common one), we need to increase our kid’s ministry volunteer team by 20 people over the next 90 days (that’s the objective). What will 3-5 key results (the KR’s) need to happen so that we increase the team by 20 people? Those KR’s need to be measurable.

Then, once those plans are in place, you share them on your church staff. You give weekly or monthly updates, which also creates accountability. Why share them in a staff meeting? Every lead pastor knows that people are more likely to fail privately to you, than publicly to a group.

How to create accountability for your church staff.

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Doing this every 90 days helps to clarify what needs to be accomplished in the next 90 days, what goals we are all shooting for, but also keeps in front of us, what is coming up (remember we still have the ones with 12 months next to them).

Some of you are thinking, how long does this take?

When you first start, this will be a half a day laying out what is right, wrong, missing and confused.

Those 4 hours are not only incredibly helpful but energizing. Our team laughs, cries and celebrates what God is doing. We pray together for each area and what God has in store.

Those 4 hours are worth the investment.

It especially helps your staff members who are not natural dreamers or vision casters or who don’t naturally set goals.

It also helps fight against one of the frustrations many pastors experience, and that is disunity or a loss of momentum. Many times, disunity and a loss of momentum are not intentional; it’s just that everyone works on what they think is most important.

One of the most important jobs of a lead pastor is to say what is most important right now.

One of the most important jobs of a lead pastor is to say what is most important right now.

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Be Indispensable (How to Stand Out in Your Career)

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I remember in my early 20’s I was frustrated in my job. I was convinced (as all leaders in their 20’s are) that I was better and smarter than other people thought of me. I knew I should have more influence and responsibility than my boss was giving me. I was being held back because they were intimidated by me, didn’t want to lose their power and influence.

Maybe you’ve felt the same way.

Why isn’t my platform like that person? Why don’t I get to lead that? Why am I still in the second, third or fourth chair instead of the first chair?

When will they notice me? How do you make yourself stand out in a company, church or industry?

How to stand out in your career.

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I remember telling a mentor this, and he gave me the best advice I’ve ever got.

Make yourself indispensable. 

At first, this seems counterintuitive (but the best advice normally is).

The best career advice.

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Being indispensable means a couple of things: working hard in the area you are in, being on time, completing a task given to you, being a great team member, picking up things that are outside of your area because somebody needs to do them.

Leaders love to assign tasks to people who can be trusted, not people who are looking to hoard influence or power.

Another way to make yourself indispensable (and I’ll say this as a lead pastor now) is not to create headaches for your boss. I wish I knew that as a 23-year-old, but the more relaxed you can make your boss’s life, the more critical you become. The more your boss will go out on a limb for you and give you opportunities.

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Summer Break!

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A little later than normal, but my summer break is here!

My elders are gracious each year to make sure my family and I get some time to rest and recharge. I’ll be posting many of our adventures on Instagram.

Also, if you’re a part of Revolution, be ready for July 15th. That is the first day that our brand new worship pastor, Jerry Tipton will be leading worship.

Can’t wait!

I often get asked what I’m reading over the summer, so here are a few of the books I’m most excited about (remember leaders, on your vacation, read books that benefit you personally):

No, I won’t read all of these and I won’t feel bad about it!

In the meantime, here are some of the most recent top posts on my blog to keep you company until I get back:

Healthy Marriage

Healthy Church

Healthy Leadership

Healthy Faith

Healthy Preaching

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How to Talk About Money in Your Church

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Many church leaders struggle with talking about money in their church or loathe the offering time. However, this fear can be alleviated by making a shift in their perspective about money. The topic of money is not about money per se. The Kingdom of God and helping people to live as disciples of Christ is the true aim of money. In the words of Peter Greer, “Money is a vehicle, not the ultimate objective.”

The reality for pastors is that money is important. It is needed when it comes to ministry and money is one of the biggest struggles and stresses of the people who sit in your church.

Here are 5 things to keep in mind for the next time you preach on money:

5 things to keep in mind when you preach on money.

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1. People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money. People come to your church to hear what the Bible has to say. They drove there, probably looked at your website, they drove past a sign that said church, so they are expecting for you to open the Bible and read it. I think people want to know what God thinks about a whole host of things, money included.

Why?

Because very few people have strong financial knowledge. There are so many takes on it, ideas on what you should do, how to get out of debt, where you should invest that it becomes overwhelming and then people stick their head in the sand. Telling them what the Bible has to say is incredibly helpful and refreshing to them because it says more than “you should give to the church.”

People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money.

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As well, most couples are fighting over money. Most people are laying in bed at night stressing over money. Talking about it hits them where they live and answers some of their most burning questions.

To read the other 4, click here.

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7 Ways to Glorify God at Work

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You spend the majority of your time, at one place.

It isn’t your house (although it might be if you’re retired or a stay at home mom, but even if that’s you, this article will still apply), or a hobby or at Starbucks (unless you work there).

It is at your job.

We spend the majority of our lives, sitting at a desk, in a cubicle, listening to a boss that is not as smart as you. Dreaming about when the weekend will come, the next vacation will arrive or a promotion.

How to stand out at work.

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On Sunday in my sermon, I looked at how to glorify God at work. Here are some of the ideas I shared (these are my ideas or from books and blogs I pulled from in my research):

7 ways to glorify God at work.

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1. Focus. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? If you’re like most Americans, you reach for your phone and check Facebook, Instagram or your email. Make no mistake, what you fill your heart and mind with first thing in the morning, determines much of what your day becomes. What if, instead of your phone you grabbed your bible and prayed? Your life and day will change if instead of reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, you prayed and said, “God, use me today, guide me, help me honor you in everything.”

2. Integrity. Be honest and trustworthy on the job. Be on time. Give a full day’s work. So many people rob their employer by being lazy, doing fantasy football, facebook and march madness at work. Go to work and work. Be that guy. If you want to stand out at work, have integrity, it will be rare. Integrity and dependability are one reason people get promoted or not, whether or not they can come through on a promise or assignment.

3. Skill. Get good at what you do. God has given you n the gifts, talents, and abilities you have. Take continuing education when you can, read books on your skills, listen to podcasts and read blogs. We honor God when we use the gifts and talents he’s given to us to their maximum potential. The ability to grow in your skills and talents are another reason we do or don’t see promotions in our lives.

4. Beauty. If you’re part of creating things, create beautiful things. Beauty is in things that are pleasing to the eye, things that taste good, things that work well. CPA’s know this feeling when an excel spreadsheet adds up. That’s beauty. A beautiful meal, clothes. Create great stories, works of art, movies or buildings when you build something.

5. Winsome. Be winsome is how you relate to others. Your speech to others should be kind and loving, and your countenance at work should be one of winsomeness, not being a jerk to those around you.

6. Money. Work is where you make (and spend) money. It is all God’s, not yours. Tim Keller said, “The way to serve God at work is to make as much money as you can so that you can be as generous as you can.” Turn your earning into the overflow of generosity in how you steward God’s money. Don’t work to earn to have. Work to earn to have to give and to invest in Christ-exalting ventures.

7. Thanks. Always give thanks to God for life and health and work and Jesus. Be a thankful person at work. Don’t be among the complainers. You have a job; you have the boss that God has given to you. Think about that one for a moment.

7 ways to glorify God at work.

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If the message resonated with you or if you want to grow more in this area, I’d encourage you to check out the great book Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work.

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Fulfill Your Calling [Be You]

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Jealousy. Envy.

We all feel it.

We look at people in our field of work, we look at other parents, other athletes and wish we had what they had. We want someone else’s career, their platform, notoriety, success.

But do we?

Why is that such a big deal?

The longer I think about this and talk to leaders who are frustrated with their lack of perceived success, and it really boils down to a question of contentment in calling.

Everywhere you look, you will see people more successful than you.

Why?

I don’t know. Sometimes it is talent; sometimes it is because that leader worked harder, sometimes it has nothing to do with that.

What we often miss though is the work they put in that we don’t see.

We don’t see the sacrifices, heartache, pain, relational or emotional or physical loss.

When a pastor sees a megachurch pastor speak at a conference, all they see is that pastor speaking. They don’t know the sacrifice that pastor made to lead, hone their speaking ability, or even God’s hand. They don’t see the sacrifice that pastor’s family has made all along the way.

We don’t see the scars, the online bashing they went through.

So we sit, longing for their platform, wishing for God to work in our life the way He has seemed to work in their life.

But it doesn’t.

We go back to our church, the one God has called us to be the pastor. We look out at 50, 200, 500 people that God has called us to love and we long for thousands.

And we’re bitter.

Our people feel it. Our leaders sense it.

And if leaders are not honest, our heart grows cold.

This frustration leads many leaders to burn out, to quit, to move to another church, to seek a more significant ministry. Why?

Not because God called them (although sometimes he does), but because they want to be known as more than they are.

I think a reason many leaders burnout is because they have picked up a calling that is not theirs.

It could be an associate pastor trying to be a lead pastor. A lead pastor of a church of 200 trying to be a lead pastor of 2,000; or a leader who is very strong in shepherding gifts trying to manufacture visionary or administrative gifts.

Left unchecked, this will not only destroy the leader but usually their ministry and family as well.

But the church, local and big C church miss out on who this leader is. We miss out on their calling and gifts.

This is why Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11 are so important: I have learned to be content.

It is essential to see what Paul says.

He once was not content, and he had to learn it.

Being content is something you’ll need to learn as a leader.

The desire for growth and effectiveness are not wrong or sinful. Desire in and of itself is not a sinful thing. It can be, but the desire is often where we find our calling.

But being content is something you will need to learn as a leader. Without it, many leadership missteps will take place. Many heartaches and sleepless nights await you. And, you will miss out on what God has for you and wants to do through you.

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Recovering from the Leadership Sprint

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You’ll often hear older leaders say to younger leaders, “Don’t go so fast, leadership is a marathon, not a sprint.”

Leadership is a marathon, not a sprint.

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There’s a lot of truth to this.

Many leaders, myself included, struggle to see what God can do over a lifetime of faithfulness and get so focused on the next thing, the next challenge, product, series, event.

Some seasons are busy. Breakneck speed busy.

Too many leaders (and families for that matter) move from one of those seasons to the next.

Without pausing.

How to pause in leadership.

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But how do you pause?

I think the key to longevity is the breaks in between the busy times. Should we be busy? Yes, but not overloaded.

Should we be busy? Yes, but not overloaded.

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Here are a few ideas to keep in mind to recover from the sprint of leadership and life:

1. Admit you’re in a busy season. There seem to be two ideas about busy seasons: relish them and talk about how busy you are. Feel overwhelmed by it and play the victim. Yes, there are other ideas, but these two seem to be the most common.

Being busy is okay.

Say, “we’re busy.” You planned it or at least didn’t prevent it.

It’s okay because it won’t always be this way, but it is right now.

You also need to be aware of when your busy seasons happen. If you’re like most people and most jobs, you have a time of year that will naturally be busier than another.

2. Engage fully in that season. It can be tempting to throw in the towel during the busy season, during the leadership sprint. You might need to, and you need to be honest about that.

If you can stick it out, engage fully, throw everything you have at what you’re doing.

3. Plan a break. The mistake most leaders and people in our culture make is not the busy times, but what happens after them.

Take a look at your calendar and determine that you will stop at the end of this sprint and stop. I think leaders need to put breaks, time off, hours, days off on their calendar as much as other appointments.

4. Be intentional about that break. It’s not enough to plan a break; you have to take it and be intentional about it. Failure to do this is why our culture jokes about needed a vacation after a vacation.

What things can you do that will recharge you? Refresh you? What activities should you do or not do?

These are essential practices to put into place.

Doing these will not only help you to maximize the sprints in your life but also make sure you don’t get overwhelmed by them.