I’ve been asked by lots of friends and pastors recently, “How did you know it was time to leave Tucson? Time to leave Pantano?” It’s a question that every pastor and leader wrestles with at some point in their ministry.
I’ve watched many friends leave too soon because it was hard or they wanted to live somewhere else.
I was talking with a mentor during a really low point several years ago. I had been contacted by several churches, all larger churches in more prestigious places. But then, none of the doors opened; they all closed. When I talked with him about it, he told me, “Josh, you must feel pushed from somewhere and pulled to somewhere else.” He went on, “You might be pushed, but you might not be. But you are definitely not pulled somewhere yet.”
And he was right.
In my last post, I shared how to know that you are being pushed from somewhere. Today, I want to share how you know you are being pulled somewhere.
Before diving in, I think we often make this decision very mystical and talk about calling. That does matter. But, I also think there are many practical reasons to move to a new ministry opportunity that we can overlook because they can feel less spiritual.
So, here goes:
1. You want to live in that place. This became clearer a few years ago as we went through The Leaders Journey with Crosspoint. The leaders of that talk a lot about the power of place and the theology of place. They said, “God gave Adam and Eve a garden, He gave the nation of Israel a land, and He gives the church a city.” Woven into each one of us is a place. Place matters a lot in our lives. There are certain places where we feel more alive, closer to Jesus, or we feel more comfortable somewhere. Maybe you love living in a city, or you want to live in a place with a lot of space. I have a friend who recently moved back to his hometown and bought a farm. That was home to him.
After hearing that, I remember sitting there and thinking, “Tucson isn’t our place.” There isn’t anything wrong with Tucson; it just wasn’t us. It wasn’t home. When I flew to Massachusetts to meet with the team at CCC, my first thought was, “This feels like home.”
For all of us, this matters. This is especially important as our kids get older and think about where we want them to be.
Now a caution. We can hear this and think, “I want to live there,” and think of some really hip or exotic location. And maybe that’s where you should live. But, over the years, I have watched many pastors and church planters move to “cool” places to live, only to get burned out or run over because they didn’t fit there.
As Katie and I prayed through what our place was, we talked with our kids, thought through what made us feel alive, what made us feel dead inside. This helps to clarify #2 on this list.
2. You feel a draw to the people of the church and the area. Deeply connected to “your place” are the people of that place.
Each city, state, and region has a specific ethos, narrative, and culture of how things are done. This came home to me through two experiences. One, talking to my brother-in-law, who worked for several years in Germany with Young Life. He told me that when a young life staffer goes to a new city or country, they are encouraged to research and discern the sin and narrative of that place. What lies underneath it. Every place, while similar, is also very different. Tucson’s sin and narrative are very different from the one here in Massachusetts.
The second was reading American Nations: A History of the Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America. This book opened my eyes to how different America is, how unique each region is and why leaders need to be aware of those differences. One of the questions I asked during the interview process at each church was for descriptions of the area: what words describe the city, the people in the city, and the sin or idol in that place. The answers were incredibly enlightening.
3. The opportunity fits who you are. This is the question of passion, gifts, talents, and experiences.
Ultimately, this is what led me away from Pantano and to Community Covenant Church. After 18 months on staff at Pantano, I knew that who I was wasn’t a fit for the role there. The things that make up who I am didn’t align closely enough with where they wanted the church to go, and that is okay. That means someone else is being pulled there. But, as I talked with the team at CCC, I knew that I was being pulled there. The desires they have for the church, how disciples are made, how preaching is done, and leadership values were more closely aligned with who I am.
Values of a church matter, the culture and how they do things matter, especially as you come into a church. You also need to know if it is a turnaround, or if the church is growing and healthy. Did they just come off a painful transition or a healthy one? All of those go into your fit for them.
Just because a church wants you or that you want doesn’t mean you are being pulled towards it. And just because a church doesn’t choose you doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
Which leads to the last one.
4. You want to give yourself to that church and those people. Again, the question of context is important. The connection that comes when you talk with the team already there and your experiences with the church matter. This is when you need to pay close attention and process this with close friends and your spouse because it is very easy to talk yourself into an opportunity. For help on how to do that, you can read here and here.
I say give yourself to a church and people because as a pastor, that is what you are doing. But, you also need to understand how long it will take you to bring about needed changes, either in the church or in the staff. As I talked to different churches, I asked myself, “Do I want to wait that long? Do I want to put 5 years into this church before I see any headway?” Now, the answer to those questions might be yes or no; there isn’t a right or wrong answer as you process through these. But, you do need to process through them.
One question I kept asking myself as I talked with churches was, “In 10 years, will I be glad I moved here? Will I be glad I chose this church, this place? Will I be glad I chose this role?” I think the answer needs to be a resounding “yes” as much as it can be, or as much as you know of the place.
