Posted on Thursday, June 16, 2022

How to Not be Productive on Vacation

by Josh Reich

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

Many of us are good about planning our work and family lives. We have to-do lists and routines for how we accomplish things. The problem is that we don’t have that same level of planning and intentionality when we rest, go on vacation or try not to be productive.

The longer I’m in leadership, the most important thing to do on vacation and the sabbath is not to be productive. As a leader, this is hard and one of the most important things to keep in mind.

The most important thing to do on vacation and sabbath is not to be productive.

It isn’t decisions, meetings, counseling, or preaching that tires me out (although that can do it sometimes), but it is the production of things. I feel the pressure (real or imagined) to produce something, to prepare something.

To be productive.

How do you stop producing and rest? How can you take a weekend off? How do you turn your mind off from it? From the pressure, the deadlines?

I’ll be honest. Every week, this is my biggest struggle (when I’m trying to take my Sabbath day). I can survive without social media and email. But planning ahead helps me be intentional about not thinking about work, and being willing to not read a book for a sermon or leadership and stop producing.

I feel guilty about it.

But it is necessary and vital to your health as a leader, your family, and your church.

Here are five things I’ve learned that might be helpful for you this weekend and on your next vacation:

1. Decide ahead of time what unproductive will mean and entail. This might sound counterintuitive, but the first step to being unproductive is to be productive. Set yourself up to succeed.

If you are married, sit down with your spouse and ask them, “If I was unproductive for a weekend, a week, two weeks, a month, what would that mean? What would we do?” Leaders struggle to rest because of the constant movement of ministry and leadership. It is addicting. As much as my heart, mind, and body need a break from preaching, I get antsy and have a hard time functioning when I take a break. That is a sign that I need it, but it’s also a sign that I have some heart work to do around that.

To be truly unproductive, you must decide what that will mean.

For me, here are some things that being unproductive means: no blogging or writing, no leadership or theology books (I read spy novels or historical books on vacation), sleeping in (or letting Katie sleep in), taking naps, extended game time with my kids, ample time with friends, being outside.

Answer this simple question: What would refresh me and recharge me? Are there certain people who will do that? Spend time with them.

Too many pastors work on vacation and prepare for upcoming things (you need to plan that for a different time). Your weekend or vacation is for refreshment, recharging, and reconnecting with your family in another way.

2. Set yourself up for success. If you don’t decide ahead of time, you’ll come back from vacation exhausted and then tell people around you, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

How to not need a vacation from your vacation.

One of the things we’ve done in years past is for me to take a one or two-night retreat at a monastery before we go away. Leaders have a way of crashing at the start of vacation. I’d rather do this alone than crash on my family. It starts your time off on the right foot.

If you are tired of the church or have difficulty going to church without thinking about your church (which happens more than you think), take a Sunday off and sleep in. Watch a podcast (but not for ministry purposes).

The bottom line is if you know and have decided how to be unproductive, it makes it easier to reach it. It increases the likelihood of resting and recharging.

One of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to take social media and email off your phone. In fact, on vacation, Katie changes my passwords so I can’t even get on them in a moment of weakness (which never happens).

At the end of your week, finish things up. Set up some ritual at the end of the day or week that says, “I’m done. I’ve done all that I can, the rest is in God’s hands” so that you can be done mentally and emotionally.

3. Give yourself grace. Because you are a leader and are trained to be productive and critical, you will struggle not to be effective and not critical. When you think about work, a person, a situation, give yourself grace and then move on.

When you start to think about work, write it down and let it go on your time off. Give yourself a moment to reconnect to being off and be okay with that. Your weekend or vacation isn’t ruined at that moment. It can be if you let it, but it isn’t yet.

4. Get out of town. This isn’t always possible but get out of town if you can. There are so many retreat centers and housing for pastors and their families that you can do this inexpensively. We stayed at the same place in San Diego for four different years and then multiple years in Huntington Beach, and each time it was free or cheap. Plan (and Google pastor’s retreat) and start making calls. Our kids look forward every year to vacation because we’ve planned it. This also means we don’t do things during the year for this time to happen, but we got out of town when I was making less than $500 a week (and working four jobs) planting our church. So you can do it!

Find fun things to do on your weekend if that will recharge you. Go swimming, hike, go to a fair or a market. Get moving. You may stay in your town but get out of your house. Changing the scenery is crucial to resting and recharging.

5. Your church will be fine. Many pastors fear leaving their church as if they are the glue that holds their church together. If you are a church planter, you are the glue for much of your church but not all of it. You can get away for a long weekend or a week, and everything will be fine.

Too many pastors live with the pressure that someone will be mad if they take a week off. They might, but you’ll live. They get vacation time, too.

Often pastors will ask me, “What do I do if I don’t have someone to preach?” Simple, show a video sermon of someone. Download a Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, or Craig Groeschel sermon and show that. Better yet, download four and take four Sundays off from preaching.

A refreshed pastor, leads a refreshed church.

Let me tell you why this matters: A refreshed pastor leads a refreshed church.

A tired pastor leads a tired church.

A tired pastor, leads a tired church.

Posted on Monday, June 6, 2022

5 Ways to Lead When You Aren’t in Charge

by Josh Reich

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

Recently, I got to speak to a group of young leaders on how to lead when you aren’t in charge.

It isn’t easy to be on a team, to follow another leader, especially if you don’t respect them or like their vision. Yet, we will have to lead at different points in our leadership journey when we aren’t in charge.

I spent years not being in charge, and I didn’t lead well. I was prideful and not a very good follower, and God taught me many things. I stumbled through my early years of leadership. Then, after being a lead pastor for 12 years, God put me in a second chair for two years. It was hard, but exactly where I needed to be to learn some lessons about myself and leadership. Those two years have changed how I lead today in meaningful ways, but that’s a different post.

If you find yourself leading when you aren’t in charge, there are some essential things you can do. Now, if you google leading when you aren’t in charge, you will find a host of articles and podcasts that will say a lot of the same things: be humble, be teachable, know that you have influence where you are, etc. And those are all true. I’m going to assume that you already know those things and are doing those things; that’s why you’re a leader.

So, with that in mind, here are 5 other things you can do to lead when you aren’t in charge:

5 other things you can do to lead when you aren’t in charge.

Be content where you are. You aren’t where you want to be or where you will ultimately be, and that’s frustrating, but it is also a good thing.

A lot of leadership and following Jesus is about contentment.

Be content.

Be thankful too. You aren’t having to make certain decisions and carry a certain weight.

If you weren’t in charge through covid, you didn’t carry a weight that others did.

If you aren’t the lead pastor, you probably don’t feel the weight of making sure your whole church is protected, that the bills get paid, or whether you’ll have to shut down again because of covid or something else. Yes, you feel those weights to a degree, but not the way your lead pastor does.

You don’t have everyone coming to you about something. That is a good thing. Yes, people come to you, but what do you do with that? You often “pass it up the chain” to the one leading.

I led worship at a large college ministry in college and then went on staff at a church as the student ministry worship leader. For the first three months, I didn’t lead worship. My boss had me reset rooms, move chairs, take out the trash, follow up with people, etc. I was so annoyed, and I told him so, because I was 19 and knew it all. He looked at me and said, “You’ll be on stage when you are content to be off stage.”

God wants to teach you things about yourself, Him, and others in this season.

I love what Crawford Loritts said, “God won’t give you what you want because you won’t stick around long enough to get what you need.”

God won’t give you what you want because you won’t stick around long enough to get what you need. -Crawford Loritts

It is easy to quit; looking for an easy way out at this point, trying to force your way into a leadership position. But if you do, you might miss what you need for later.

Understand the person you follow.

As important as it is to know yourself and how you’re wired, and how your family and upbringing have affected you, it is equally important to know this information about the person you follow.

Do they need time to process? Do they talk out loud? What do they value most, and why do they value that so much? What are their rhythms in terms of work? When is the best time to bring up an idea?

I had two bosses in one role, one wanted to speak in specifics, and when he said something, that was it. The other liked to process out loud and throw things at the wall. One wanted specifics when I came to him, and the other wanted me to share at the beginning of an issue so he could be involved.

Could you get to know them, be a student of them? If you don’t know, ask them. If you are new to a church or team, ask a lot of questions of those you work with and work under.

Know what you can change and can’t change under that person.

Your boss, board, or leader cares about certain things. Some things are mission-critical that they are passionate about, and then other things they aren’t. You need to know what those things are. What is #1 on their list that they will protect against all costs?

Often, those things are non-negotiable, or you will have some difficulty changing those things.

But what can you change?

Are there things they aren’t as clear on, as passionate about that you can experiment with? If so, spend some energy there.

This also gets into understanding the team culture and dynamics. To change things, do you need to keep quiet, or bring them up? How does something get changed?

Be someone that can be counted on.

The best thing you can do for those around you to gain more influence and move into the leadership roles you want is to be someone who can be counted on and gets things done.

When you do this, you are making your boss’s job easier.

One thing that people leading want to know is if their team is with them. Making sure your boss or leader knows you have their back in the meeting, and outside of the meeting matters greatly.

In being someone who can be counted on, you also fulfill a vital leadership principle, making your boss’s job easier.

Craig Groeschel refers to this as being the chief problem solver.

One of the best things you can do as a leader is dependable.

Know where the power resides.

This might be one of the most important and overlooked things you need to know when you aren’t in charge. If you miss this and underestimate its power, you will find yourself in a world of hurt and going down the wrong road.

You need to know where the power resides in meetings, who makes things happen, and who stops things from happening. And know, this isn’t always the person at the top. It could be the gatekeeper for someone, the person with more details than others. I remember starting at a church and going through orientation and then having an admin tell me, “Now, let me tell you how things get done here.” That’s power.

If you don’t understand where the power resides, it will create a lot of headaches for you and missteps as you try to build influence.

When you aren’t in charge, you need to know who you influence and in what area. What area does each person influence (this isn’t always clear in job descriptions)? Who makes the final call on something? Who is responsible for carrying something out? Who sways the meeting when they speak? Who speaks first and last, and what does that do to the room?

Every church has a hierarchy, but you need to understand that what is written down is not always the way it is.

In every setting, to get things done, you must know where the power resides.

Know that you have influence.

Just because you are in charge doesn’t mean you hold all the influence.

I’ve been at my church for almost a year. I have influence and power.

The others on staff have more influence than I do because of how long they’ve been there. They have sat at more hospital bedsides and walked with more people than I have. Do not underestimate the influence you have in the seat you sit in. Relational influence is incredibly powerful in a church setting.

As I was going through that hard season in Tucson, I had a mentor tell me something important: Know what you control, what you influence, and what is a concern. Too often, in our passion and excitement, we confuse these categories, and sometimes we need a friend or spouse to help us know the difference.

Be clear on what you have control over or where you only have some influence. If you have some influence, know that it is more than none, and use what you have. Sometimes, it is something you are concerned about or don’t like, but you have no power or influence to change it. Too many leaders spend leadership capital on things that are a concern, something they’d like to change. That doesn’t make it not worth it, but it can be costly in the long run.

5 ways to influence your boss.

Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Three Important Categories for Leaders

by Josh Reich

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, I was at the Drive Conference in Atlanta and heard Joel Thomas layout three important categories for leaders. Since then, I’ve been chewing on it because I think they are critical, and they also explain some frustrations we have as leaders if we don’t understand them.

Identity

Identity is who you are. Your role in life as a husband, wife, parent, friend, boss, and child of God.

These are also the roles you play outside of leadership and ministry; the hobbies that you have, the interests you give your time to.

This is hard for us to think about, but this is the foundation of leadership. Too often, as leaders, our identity is wrapped up in what we do or our ability.

Your identity is formed in a lot of ways that affect your leadership.

It started years ago in your family of origin. It is formed in early experiences in school and friendships as you grow up. Your experiences and the heartaches shape it, as well as the celebrations you experience through life.

If you grew up and learned not to trust people or that people can’t be trusted (real hurts), that shapes how you interact with people around you and how much trust you give to others. If you were raised to believe that what you did was the most important thing about you, that shapes how you go about leadership and teamwork.

Your story affects how you interact, show up, your motivations and how you trust or do not trust those around you.

Connected to this is understanding how you are wired. You need to know your personality, motivations, desires, and fears. You also need to understand the things you carry from your past: shame, hurt and other parts of your story.

Those things about you shape your identity as a leader and are easily overlooked.

Calling

Calling is what you feel like God has called you to do with your life.

We define that differently. And we talk about how that calling comes to us in different ways, but we have it.

Some feel called to be a pastor, in ministry, etc. You may feel called to leadership in the marketplace, a non-profit; your calling may be to eradicate something. But all of us have that calling.

We get tripped when we confuse identity and calling. They are connected but not the same.

And let me say this, being a pastor is a calling, but it’s also a job. A job that you will one day leave and retire from.

In many ways, identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.

Identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.

John Onwuchekwa said, “You HAVE a calling FROM God. You ARE a child OF God.”

Assignment

Your assignment is what God has called you to now. Your assignment right now might be to be a lead pastor, associate pastor, church planter, elder, or volunteer.

Your assignment is your current season. It may be just beginning. You may be ending an assignment and figuring out what’s next.

Again, we can confuse our calling with an assignment. We can also confuse our assignment with our identity. Many pastors and leaders don’t know where they end and where their church begins, which leads to all kinds of unhealthy things.

Assignments can last decades, and they can last for a year. Assignments can change at the drop of a hat when you aren’t aware.

These categories are critical to understand and keep separate. If we confuse them, we will find ourselves in some dangerous places as leaders and watch our hearts erode.

3 areas leaders need to be aware of.

Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2022

The Things that Sneak into the Heart of a Pastor

by Josh Reich

Every week when a pastor preaches, they talk about the sin that binds the people in their church, the idols they battle, the lies they quickly fall into, and the truth of Jesus that frees them and destroys sin and death.

Pastors, by and large, often struggle to apply this same medicine to their sins.

Pastors, by and large, often struggle to apply the gospel they preach to their sin.

Much of the identity and idols that pastors fall into are residing in what happens on a Sunday morning at church. High attendance, strong giving, and loud singing were good days. A pastor will float through Sunday night, post about all that God did on Instagram, and wake up ready to charge hell on Monday morning.

Low attendance, a down week in giving, few laughs, and no one sings, and the pastor will go home, look at social media, get jealous of the megachurch down the road, wake up Monday morning ready to resign, and get another job.

The difference between the two examples?

The heart of the pastor.

Over the years as a pastor, I’ve ridden this roller coaster more than I’d like to admit. It is easy to do.

So, how do you handle this as a pastor? How do you protect your heart?

5 ways to protect your heart as a pastor.

1. Keep Sundays in perspective. What happens and what you feel as a pastor on a Sunday morning can be misleading. Just because it felt great doesn’t mean that it was. I’m amazed at how many times I feel like a sermon was so-so, and the response from people is, “That is exactly what I needed to hear.” And how many times do I get off the stage thinking I preached my greatest sermon, and no one says anything.

While Sunday matters, it does not tell the whole story of what God is doing in the life of your church or its people.

2. Be cautious about what you see on social media. A friend of mine who is revitalizing a church called me and said, “It’s so hard to watch the megachurch down the road baptize more people on Easter than we had in attendance.” And that’s a real struggle.

Be cautious about what you follow on social media and when you look at it. If you are exhausted and feeling down on Sunday night, Instagram may not be the best spot for your soul.

Another thing to remember is percentages. This is important. Every pastor would say that every life matters, but when you see thousands getting baptized or a massive move of God, it is hard not to feel jealous or inferior. But a megachurch and a church plant are not the same, just like the small start-up isn’t the same as Amazon. For example, if a church of 5,000 baptized 80 people on Easter, that is incredible, but they baptized 1.6% of their church. If your church of 250 baptized 10, that is 4%. Yes, they both matter the same, but, and this may seem silly to you, percentages have helped me to keep things in perspective when my heart gets out of line.

3. Celebrate what God does in the church down the road or across the country. The flip side of this coin is essential. Celebrate what God is doing in other churches, don’t despise it. Don’t say, “They must be watering down the gospel; that’s why they’re growing.” Just celebrate with them, and thank God for how His Spirit is at work.

Learn to celebrate what God is doing in other churches.

4. Make sure you do something life-giving on Sunday or Monday. Many pastors, when they get home on Sundays, are entirely spent. While it is exhilarating, it is also exhausting to preach, counsel, pray with others, and often leave church shouldering the people’s burdens in your church. That is part of what a pastor does. But in that, you must make sure that you refill your tank.

Too many pastors go home and sit down in front of the TV or scroll on their phones. While there is a place for this, you need to schedule some life-giving things for you.

We try to take a long walk on Sunday afternoon to get outside and move our bodies. Some reading time or a family game, and one of our practices on many Sunday evenings is to have another family or friends over for dinner.

Whatever is life-giving for you, a hobby, exercise, community, reading, do that on Sunday or Monday. Refill yourself after pouring so much out.

Pastors, refill yourself after Sundays.

5. Spend time with Jesus and friends. Friends and community are critical. And many pastors struggle with this. And I get it. It can be hard to have close friends within your church because you are always the pastor to them. It can be worked through, but you need friends, whether in your church or outside.

It would help if you refilled your soul after pouring it on a Sunday. On Mondays, make sure you spend time alone with Jesus and read a book that fills your soul that isn’t related to sermon prep. Grow yourself.

If recent studies are any indication (and I think they are), it will continue to be a challenge to be a pastor.

You must make protecting your heart a priority.

5 ways to stay in the pastoral ministry.

Posted on Monday, May 2, 2022

How to Survive Monday as a Pastor

by Josh Reich

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It’s Monday.

For most pastors, worship leaders, kids, and student pastors, this means the hardest and worst day of the week. Sadly, many pastors resign on Monday.

There are a variety of reasons why Mondays are so hard for pastors:

In the spiritual sense, what we do is warfare. You may have had to deal with a relational battle yesterday. You prayed with people, counseled people, and are carrying their burdens and weight. You have shepherded them through difficulties, wept with them, challenged them to walk away from sin, and watched people destroy their lives one step at a time.
You slept terribly on Saturday night as you thought about the day, got up early, and then slept poorly on Sunday night as you were simply too tired to sleep or you are carrying criticisms and weights from the conversations you had.
Leading worship, preaching, and talking with people is incredible and the highlight of my week but it is also incredibly exhausting all at the same time. You physically have nothing left after a Sunday. You probably have nothing left spiritually, emotionally, or relationally to give as well.
There is a good chance you woke up on Monday to a pile of emails from angry people, or people leaving your church, or thinking about leaving your church. You may have some fires brewing that you are wondering if you can handle. Maybe there is an elder or a staff member or volunteer that is a thorn in your side. And you are tired.

So what do you do?

While every Monday doesn’t feel like this and isn’t this hard, many of them are. Because of this, many pastors take Monday off. If you do, that’s fine. But I feel like that is making a hard day worse. Your family doesn’t want you around if you are going to be angry, grumpy, and have a short temper.

Here are a few things that have helped me and my family survive Mondays:

Get out of bed. While I don’t set my alarm most Mondays, you definitely don’t want to sleep too long. Get moving as soon as you can.

Know that Tuesday is coming. Most of the things that seem insurmountable on Monday look easy on Tuesday. I’m amazed at how often I get stressed about things and in 3 weeks’ time I have forgotten about them.

Get a workout, bike ride, hike, or run in. I know, you are tired and can barely move. The adrenaline from preaching is hard to deal with the older I get. I actually do yoga every Sunday afternoon as a way to breathe, calm down and pray. Get going, do something active. It gets your blood moving and you are in a better mood afterward.

Take a nap. You should take a nap on Monday. You will probably have very little steam by the end of the day, so lay down.

Pray for your people. Know that while you are tired, they are also tired as they walk into their worlds today. Pray for their faithfulness, courage to follow Jesus, and the burdens they are carrying in their lives. I know that you do this, but praying for them also helps to remind you of why you do what you do and keeps you focused on others on a day that is easy to throw a pity party.

Work on your soul. Read something that speaks to your soul. You preached your heart out, gave everything you had to students and kids, led worship with everything you had, and now you need to feed yourself. Monday is a great time to listen to a sermon by someone else to be challenged.

How to work on your heart as a pastor.

Don’t be around anyone that makes you angry. On Monday, you have a short fuse so do yourself and others a favor and only be around people you like. The fallout from not following this can be bad for everyone involved. If you can, connect with a friend or someone who is life-giving to you.

Do administrative stuff. Don’t have a meeting on Monday, don’t counsel anyone. I know lots of leaders like to evaluate on Monday because it is fresh, but write it down, and talk about it on Tuesday. Return some emails, blog, following up with guests, and new believers, those are fun and invigorating for a pastor.

Serve your wife. You were probably a bear to be around at some point on Saturday or Sunday. She was a single mom on Sunday with your kids while you worked and she is just as tired as you are. I know you don’t believe me and think your job is harder, let’s say it is even. Ask how you can serve her.

You have the privilege to do it again in 6 days. That may not seem like a privilege on Monday, but believe me, it is. God has chosen you to preach, lead worship, teach, counsel, shepherd, set up, greet, help kids follow Jesus, and talk with students through hard situations. He chose you and uses you. So, when Monday is hard, remember, God could’ve picked someone else. And you could’ve said no. Since God called and you said yes, get back up on the horse and get ready!

How to survive Monday as a Pastor.

Posted on Monday, April 11, 2022

7 Things a Pastor Must Do on Easter

by Josh Reich

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Sunday is the “super bowl” of the church year. I wish we didn’t call it that, but that’s another post.

We love Easter. It is the hope of our salvation and our world. In most churches, attendance will be higher than at any other time of the year. More unchurched people will be there more than any other week.

Here are 7 things a pastor MUST do on Easter:

7 things to remember this Easter weekend.

Fill yourself up (before and after). You will likely be tired by the time you get to Easter morning. You will be tired on the Monday after Easter. The week of Easter is filled with special services and attention to different things. Make sure you take time leading up to Easter to eat well, get some sleep, keep your exercise going, and fill your heart up. Don’t preach on an empty tank.

After Easter, make sure you fill yourself up as well. Get up and exercise on Monday morning, read your bible, and listen to worship music. Be with Jesus.

Pastor, make sure you have a plan to rest and recharge after Easter.

Be a pastor. Every week, I have no idea what people are carrying when they walk through the doors of our church or tune in online. Many people drag themselves to church on Easter, barely hanging on in some areas of their life. Be a pastor. Pray with people, smile at them, listen to them, walk around, and talk to people. Don’t hang out in the green room or backstage. Be a pastor.

Talk about the resurrection. You will be tempted to be cute and talk about something else for fear everyone knows about the resurrection.

Don’t.

The resurrection is our only hope. Without it, Jesus is still in the grave, and our faith is in vain (1 Corinthians 15:14). Without the hope of the resurrection, sin, and death can defeat us. The world will not be made right without the resurrection. Marriages cannot be saved, addictions cannot be defeated, and identities cannot be changed.

Challenge them. Don’t be afraid. Step up to the plate and tell them, “Today is the day.” For some, they need to be challenged to come back. For others, they need to be challenged to follow Jesus.

Remind them. While some will need to be challenged, some will need to be reminded that God loves and cares for them, that God has not forgotten them, that God has not left them, or that God is not disappointed in them.

Invite them back. I’m amazed at how many church services I’ve been to, and no one invited me back next week. Tell them, “I look forward to seeing you back next week.” Be friendly, walk around, and say hi to people. Lead the way in how your church should be welcoming.

Put as much effort into next week as you did this week. Easter was great, and you will be tired, but people will return to your church the following Sunday. Put as much effort into that. Hopefully, you started a new series on Easter that they want to hear part 2 of. Be ready.

7 things pastors need to do this Easter.

Posted on Monday, January 24, 2022

Paying Attention To Tensions

by Josh Reich

Have you ever had this happen to you? You are facing a decision, any decision, and you just can’t seem to figure out what to do. But as you look closer, there’s something about one of the options that just doesn’t feel right. You don’t know why, but you sense it. This happens in relationships when we think, there’s something off with that person. Or, you’re buying a house or a car, but one of them just doesn’t feel right. This happens when we’re thinking of taking a job or hiring someone. There’s something there that we can’t quite put our finger on.

We call this a sixth sense, women’s intuition, our gut. If you’re a follower of Jesus, it is at this point you might wonder if God is telling you something. Is the Holy Spirit speaking to you?

Do we ignore it? Listen to it? How do we know?

This is where Andy Stanley’s third question in his book Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move is so helpful: Is there a tension that deserves my attention?

Is there a tension that deserves my attention?

Often, we simply fly through these tensions. We think we can handle it. We think it might go away with time.

Sometimes, it’s because we don’t want to say we’re wrong, we don’t want to go back on a commitment we’ve made. We simply start to look for things that confirm what we want. It could be because we think we’re the only ones who feel this way. Everyone else wants to go along with it, everyone else is drinking, so I’m the only one. Or, we’re in a hurry and so we simply need to buy this and get it done.

If you’ve read my other blogs on this topic (here and here), you know this is so much easier to see in the lives of other people. We see tensions all the time in their life and wonder why they’re ignoring them. We wonder why someone else decided to fill up their calendar and overcommit. We wonder why someone decided to take that job when it seems so obvious that it’s a bad fit. We wonder why our friend is still with that guy when he is so wrong for her.

Tensions are easy to pay attention to when they are in someone else’s life.

So, when a tension arises in your life, what do you do with it? How do you know if you should listen to it? Just because there’s a tension there doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move forward. It just means you should pay attention.

Just because there’s a tension there doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move forward. It just means you should pay attention.

Am I listening to the right voices? Tensions often arise because of the voices we listen to. We listen to our friends, ads, ourselves and start moving in that direction. Then, we just happen to mention the idea to someone else and they raise a red flag that we missed before. They say, “Is that a good idea? That sounds too good to be true. Are you sure?”

And all of a sudden, we aren’t sure. There’s tension.

At this moment, it is easy to brush off those voices and move forward. But, when we do, that is what often leads us to regrets.

Many of my regrets in leadership and ministry have happened at this point. Things that appeared to be good things for God, or good opportunities, but situations where I overlooked something important. Maybe it’s a question that needed to be answered, or a red flag in a person I was interviewing that I decided to ignore.

Am I getting the best advice in my life?

Am I ready for what’s next? Many times tensions arise because we are sure of what is next, but it hasn’t happened yet.

We believe God has placed something on our hearts, called us to something, given us a feeling or a “sense”, but what if we aren’t ready? What if God needs us to grow more? To prepare us more? To prepare someone else for what is next?

Tensions often arise at this moment and with our impatience for good things, we skip right past those tensions.

Am I prepared for what God has in store for me?

Can I keep my integrity and move forward? Many times the reason we feel tensions in life and relationships is that moving forward goes against our values, beliefs, or codes in life. We ignore them because we’re caught up in the moment, it feels good, everyone is doing it, or because we want to.

A great question to ask yourself when a tension arises is, can I do this and keep my integrity?

3 questions to ask yourself about the decision you’re facing.

Posted on Monday, January 3, 2022

The Power of Your Word for the Year

by Josh Reich

This is the sign you've been looking for neon signage

Every year, many Americans will set a New Years Resolution. Over 50% of Americans will select one, but more than half have given up by summer.

I remember seeing a meme that said, “A new year’s resolutions are just a to-do list for the first week of January.”

And that’s how it feels sometimes.

These goals range from losing weight, starting a business or school, quitting smoking and vaping, getting out of debt.

Resolutions are helpful, and maybe they bring you to focus, but I think they are missing something.

Twelve years ago, I was there. Then, I weighed 300 pounds, and I was miserable. To read more about my weight loss journey, you can read it here.

How I lost 130 pounds in 18 months and kept it off.

Every year, I said, this was the year I would lose weight. When Katie and I got married, I was 200 pounds heavier than her. A friend told me once that she married me as an investment.

At one of my lowest points, I blamed her for my weight. Finally, I told her that I would lose weight if she cooked healthier food. To which she told me, “We eat the same food.”

Ouch.

I tried diets, exercise plans, fasting, everything it seemed, and nothing worked or stuck.

We went to a doctor, and I told him, “I want to lose weight. I want to be skinny.” He looked at me and said, “Josh, that is a terrible goal.”

What?

He said, “you need to lose weight because you aren’t even 30 yet, and you are incredibly unhealthy, but losing weight is a terrible goal for anyone.” So instead, he said, “make being healthy your goal.” Here’s what is fascinating to me now; he was right. It was not only how it played out in my life but also how Scripture and research back this up.

Proverbs 4 says:

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Your heart is the center of who you are. It is about what and who you love and your desires, longings, and dreams. It also defines the person you are becoming. And yes, God cares about the person you are becoming.

What do you love? What do you desire? What do you think is most important right now and in 2022? What would you like to happen this year?

The writer of Proverbs tells us to give careful thought to it. Too often, we are flippant about our goals, loves, and desires. But as one writer said, “You are what you love.”

We need to pay attention to desires, especially the desires in our hearts because they will drive us in life. And, this is so important; we need to bring those desires to God to see if they are from him. We want to see if they are worth our time and energy, and if that is who he created us to be.

Too often, though, our cultural narrative is, if you desire it, if you want it, it must be right for you. But asking what God thinks of something can sound negative, so let’s reframe the question: What does God want you to focus on in 2022? What kind of person does God want you to become in 2022? Next week, I’ll share a more detailed process of figuring this out, but start thinking about this now.

What kind of person does God want you to become in 2022?

But how do we know? How do we know if we have the right focus?

The writer of Proverbs tells us in verse 25: Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

This is the principle of one focus. It matters what we focus on, what we look to. That focus, that attention will determine the person we become.

Our focus determines the person we become.

In one of my favorite books of all time (it’s on my kid’s high school reading list, too), Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. And his research backs up Proverbs 4.

Clear said that becoming a new person, keeping a new habit is wrapped up in a simple two-step process:

First, decide the type of person you want to be.
Then, prove it to yourself with small wins.

Decide the type of person you want to be. This is the focus that Proverbs 4 talked about. What we focus on and what we give our attention to determines who we become.

Who you are, who you are becoming. Not just who you are growing into, but what kind of person does God want you to become this year and beyond?

Often, we think God cares about what we do and feel, and he does, but God also cares deeply about the person we are becoming. He created and designed you a specific way, with particular gifts, talents, and abilities. Therefore, what you can do is unique to you.

Too often, though, we live someone else’s dreams. We go after someone else’s goals. We try to have someone else’s marriage or career live up to a family standard.

Too often, we live somebody else’s dream.

I talk to many students who want to do one thing, but their parents want them to do something else, and they give up their dream. They give up their focus.

This point is why my doctor was right. There is a difference between being healthy and losing weight. We all know people who eat fast food six times a week and are skinny. You can lose weight and not be healthy. I had lost weight countless times and put it back on, all without becoming healthy.

Being healthy is about the person I was becoming.

And what I learned for me is so crucial: Being healthy is about what is happening in you. Losing weight is what is happening to you.

Prove it to yourself with small wins.

What we often do with a goal is to set unrealistic expectations. For example, we say I’m going to start running this year and run five days a week. Well, how often do you run now? I don’t. Or, I’m going to get up at 4 am to pray and read my bible. What time do you get up now? 7. That’s not realistic.

I love what James Clear tells clients to do to lose weight. He tells them to go to the gym for 5 minutes a day, three days a week. Walk in, lift a weight, do one exercise. He says they always look at him like that is the dumbest idea on the planet, but he tells them, “Right now, you aren’t the kind of person who goes to the gym. You have to become the kind of person who goes to the gym.”

And that small win, of making it there three days a week for 5 minutes each day becomes 10 minutes, which becomes 20, and so on.

I think having a word for the year can be so important. It answers the question, who am I becoming this year? What am I focusing on this year?

How to become the person God wants you to become.

The benefit of having a word over a resolution or a goal is that it defines who you will become in a year and what you will focus on. A resolution and goal can wrap themselves up in this, but a word gives so much more power to your life.

It decides the story you will tell for your year.

The power of a word for the year.

Posted on Monday, December 20, 2021

Most Read Posts of the Year

by Josh Reich

Read More

I hope you are all ready for Christmas and that you get a chance for some downtime over the holidays.

I won’t be posting any new posts until 2022, but in the meantime, I wanted to share the top posts from this past year, just in case you missed them:

1. How to know it’s time to leave your ministry role and part 2.

2. The Best Advice I’ve Gotten in the Last 5 Years

3. Finding the Heart of a Church

4. How to Interview a Church

5. 11 Ways to Engage Guests at Your Church

6. Phones, Loneliness, and Our Deep Need to Connect

7. How to Start a New Season of Life & Ministry

8. How to Make Your Life Count

9. When You Don’t Know the Future

10. Managing a Job Transition

Posted on Wednesday, December 15, 2021

How to Prepare Your Heart for the New Ministry Year

by Josh Reich

grayscale photo of person reading book

There are many different blogs about preparing for the new year, setting goals, and setting your word for the year. And I hope you are diving into those.

But I want to help you how to prepare your heart for the next year of ministry.

Pastor, how to prepare your heart for the year ahead.

Here’s why this matters: Recently, Barna revealed that 38% of pastors have seriously thought about leaving the ministry in the past year. That is a staggering stat. And it makes sense. The last two years have been incredibly hard for everyone, especially pastors. And while I haven’t thought about leaving the ministry in the past year, I have thought about it at other times.

There is a good chance you are part of that or on the edge of feeling like that. Or maybe, you are excited and hopeful for the following year. No matter where you find yourself, I want to encourage you to spend some time before the new year and prepare your heart for the coming year.

So, as you prepare for the New Year, here are some things I’m asking myself and would encourage you to ask:

5 questions pastors should ask themselves before the new year.

1. How am I doing? Really? Be honest if you are tired, burned out, sad, exhausted, or angry with God or someone. Write it out. Talk with someone. Share it with God.

These last couple of years have been hard. I want to encourage you to write out or share with someone you are. If you are thinking about quitting, tell someone. If you are depressed, tell someone. If you are excited and hopeful, tell someone.

2. Why do I feel that way? What is God trying to show me? But don’t just tell someone. Instead, dig into those feelings and situations.

Many times as leaders, we don’t grieve things in our lives and face the losses we have been dealt. Over these last couple of years, we have lost friends, and relationships have shifted.

We have lost people in our churches, and maybe your attendance is down.

What is that telling you about your heart? I know for many pastors I had to face in 2020 that I liked preaching to a packed room, and there was some ego connected to that. I had to deal with that in my time with God. Whatever you are feeling, however, you are doing, what is God trying to show you in that?

3. What kind of pastor, parent, spouse, and friend does God want me to be in the next year? Each year, I encourage my church to ask themselves and spend some time with God on figuring out their word and focus for the year. I’d encourage you to do the same.

For years I have focused on one area of my life that I want to grow in or improve. A topic I want to spend more time on or read on. This doesn’t have to be ministry-related but can be if that’s helpful.

But, if you become more like Jesus in the coming year, what would that mean? What areas would you grow in or work on?

4. What relationships do I need to focus on this year? As leaders, we aren’t very good at relationships and friendships. We fill our calendars with tasks and meet people, but we don’t go deep with many people. Instead, we are helpers, guides, and leaders.

But if the last couple of years has shown me anything, it is how meaningful friendships are and how important they are for leaders.

5. What prayers am I asking God for this year? What are you asking God for this year? Do you have a list of goals, dreams, and longings?

Over the last couple of years, my prayers with God started to shift from dreaming to surviving. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been convicted recently about what I’m asking God for and praying bigger prayers.

5 questions to prepare your heart for New Year.

Lastly, this isn’t a question. But I want to encourage you to pull out your calendar, schedule your Sundays off from preaching, and your family vacation this summer, and put in your retreat days. If you do not schedule these times, you will have difficulty making them happen.

Pastor, make sure you schedule your life for the new year before someone else does.