5 Questions About Prayer

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One of the questions many people wrestle with is, “Does prayer work?” Many of us have prayed for something: healing, a wound to be taken away, a relationship to be restored, only to have it not answered.

We have also seen moments when we prayed for something, and that prayer wasn’t answered the way we expected it.

This leaves us to ask, “Does prayer work? Is prayer even worth the time and effort?”

In James 5:13 – 20, James lays out how to pray, the role of the unconfessed in prayers, and how a church should gather to pray together.

This passage is often used to pray for the sick, which it is about. But the word for sick in James 5 doesn’t just mean physically ill but also includes spiritual and emotional weakness. This is one reason James uses the example of Elijah because Elijah was spiritually and emotionally weak in 1 Kings. That idea completely changed my thoughts about this passage and my prayer life as I prepped this message. 

In chapter 5, James gives us five questions to ask so that we can see prayer be more effective in our lives: 

Are you self-made and have little need for God? Many of us are self-made, able to work hard, strategic thinkers, or people who can feel our way out of things.

Without realizing it, we create lives that have little need for the power of God.

This begs the question of when we start praying about something and how long it takes us to ask God for help.

Do you see the hard and good times as things God has allowed? In James 5, James talks about Job and Elijah as examples for us to understand his point. Job said, “God gives, and God takes; blessed be the name of the Lord.” James wants us to see how this interacts with our prayers. Do we see the good and the hard as from God? Or just the hard?

Do you pray for your will and not God’s? Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 6 that when they pray, they are to pray for God’s will, not their own.

But one of our frustrations with prayer is that God doesn’t answer us on our timetable or the way we want.

This is the crux of prayer. Because we will often ask for A, and God gives us B. The question we have to wrestle with is, do we believe God heard us? Do we believe God spoke to the other person? This is when we are reminded how little control we have in life, and that’s hard. 

Do you pray specifically? I know it can be scary to pray specifically because I am opening myself up to being let down or opening myself up to potential doubts and struggles. What if I ask for this specific healing and don’t get it? What if I ask God to do this or that, and it doesn’t happen?

That’s hard. 

But the example that James uses is Elijah, who was a man who prayed specifically. He was also a very flawed man, which is also incredibly encouraging. 

Do you live in unconfessed sin? Unconfessed sin creates a barrier between you, God, and others. And James tells us it is a hindrance to our prayer lives. James connects the confession of sin to answered prayer and healing. 

This is important because the healing we are promised is spiritual, physical, and emotional, but we aren’t promised when that healing will come, just that we will have it. 

What Happens While we Wait on God

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You will find yourself waiting on God at some point in your life.

We will often find ourselves waiting for God to answer a prayer, to speak to us and give us direction, or maybe you find yourself waiting for God to provide you with a reason for the season of pain or difficulty you are in.

What we do in those moments might be some of the most critical moments of our faith journey. Those are the moments when God is doing a lot in us, even if we don’t see it at the time.

In James 5, James gives us a few things to be aware of and ask ourselves while we wait:

Am I controlling what I can control and releasing what I can’t?

Farmers in the first century didn’t have irrigation systems or even weather radars to know when a storm was coming. They were utterly dependent on the rain. They had to lean into what they could control and what they couldn’t.

We will often feel like we are utterly powerless in life or overestimate how much power we have.

One exercise that has been helpful to me is one Henry Cloud suggests in his book Necessary Endings: list out what you control and what you don’t control in a situation. You might find that you have control and agency over some things you didn’t think and you might find yourself worrying over something you have no control over.

Am I being patient?

James uses the example of a farmer to show us something important while we wait: the kind of patience we are to have.

Farmers cannot make crops grow, but they can do things while waiting.

Patience isn’t something we usually want (at least I don’t), but we must lean into it because things do not change or grow quickly.

James tells us to be patient in our suffering and difficulty, for the Lord’s return is near. This is a reminder that all we are going through will one day be made right, be made new, and that everything we are going through is under the rule and reign of God, which is why James harkens back to the story of Job.

Am I strengthening my heart?

Then he tells us to strengthen our hearts because the Lord’s return is near.

We strengthen our hearts by being in the word of God, by spending time with Him, listening to Him and speaking to him, casting our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7), and sharing our sighs with him (Psalm 5:2).

We also strengthen our hearts in community, being with people who can help to encourage us and spur us on, but who can also help us carry our burdens and point out when we need to have things pointed out to us to grow in our faith. 

Am I guarding my heart?

James then switches gears in verse 9 to tell us to guard our hearts. 

Why?

While we are waiting and walking through pain and difficulty, we are vulnerable. 

He says: Brothers and sisters, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look, the judge stands at the door!

That vulnerability can lead us to complain about each other, judge each other, criticize people or take judgment into our own hands. 

James says, be on guard. 

This is important because, amid our pain, frustration, and hurt, we can easily hurt those around us and take our anger out on them. 

What is God doing in you now as you walk forward in a hard season?

It is easy to look forward, to look for a reason for it, but God is looking to grow us in those moments. 

Pete Scazzero said, “To mature in Jesus and learn true faith requires we go through walls, dark nights, and valleys. There is no other way.”

Finding God’s Hand

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The other day in my Bible reading, I was in Matthew 11—the story of when John the Baptist was in prison.

I imagine that John is struggling and trying to figure out what God is doing in his life and the world around him. He sought to do what God called him to do and ended up in prison for it.

He hears reports of all Jesus is doing, yet John is still in prison.

So, John sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

This is a question many of us ask at different points.

If you are a pastor, you see how God works in another church, city, or state and wonder, “Why there and not here?”

You see the life and marriage of someone else and see God’s hand and wonder, “Why them and not me?”

This is the first question of faith for many of us, why does God seem to be active there but not here?

And it isn’t that God is only active there, but that it is often more apparent to us when God is active in someone else’s world than being able to see His activity in our world.

Part of this struggle is learning to celebrate when God works somewhere you aren’t a part of. As pastors, we should be grateful that churches other than ours are growing, but that can be hard. 

One of my favorite small group practices is sharing evidence of God’s grace: going around the table and sharing where we’ve seen God at work in the past week. When I struggle to see God’s hand, hearing how God is at work in the life of others reminds me that God is at work. 

It also helps me look harder at my life and see what God is doing. 

Then Jesus says something in verse 6 that I’ve always found curious: Blessed is anyone who does not stumble because of me.

We will struggle with faith when God doesn’t do what we think He should or want Him to do. 

Many of us had a crisis in our faith when God didn’t answer a prayer, heal someone or ourselves, or change something. That is the moment when our trust becomes real. 

 

4 Questions To Ask About God’s Will

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Recently, I preached on James 4:13 – 17 and the power of numbering our days and making the most of every moment. 

We all live with regrets, missed opportunities, ones we wish we could redo or go back and undo. 

We can’t. We can’t go back and change the past; we can only ensure we don’t miss what is ahead as we move forward. But how do we do that? 

Some of us get paralyzed when we think about decisions or how to figure out God’s will for our lives. I believe some basic things can help us discern God’s will for our lives, but I have learned over the years that a few questions have helped to clarify it in my life:

What does God’s word say? 

This might seem obvious since we are talking about God’s will. But, many of us ignore what God’s word has to say regarding marriage, work, finances, integrity, or other aspects of life. Then we wonder why God isn’t being clear in our lives.

I wonder if we did what God called us to do, the things He’s already told us in Scripture; I think it would be more precise what decisions we should or should not make. 

It is also easy to read something in Scripture, get the sense that the Holy Spirit is speaking to us, and then ignore that, or think about how it doesn’t apply to me or my situation. 

What does trusted community say?

These are the mature Christians in your life who are wiser than you, and care about you but aren’t impressed by you. They are willing to say the hard things to you. The ones who can look you in the eye and tell you that you are missing something, and you will listen to them. 

This could be a boss, a spouse, a friend, etc. 

If you’re married, what does your spouse say about this decision? I’ve learned over the years, God’s voice sounds a lot like Katie’s in my life. Someone once said, “If you’re married and are one flesh, God might speak to your spouse first about something.”

Often God will put people in our lives to speak to us and keep us from making poor decisions, but we can miss or discount that. 

What is easy or hard?

This question may not apply to you, but this has been helpful for me. 

I’ve learned over the years that for me, God’s will is usually straightforward, obvious, and more challenging than the other option.

Not always, but often, the easy decision isn’t the path God has called me to

Will this get me to where I believe God wants me to be?

I came across this question years ago in Experiencing God. Instead of making a pros & cons list, the author asked, “Will this get me to where I believe God wants me or hinder me?”

We can easily get paralyzed in decision-making because we might be sure of the first step but not what comes next. So we wait until steps 2 – 5 are clear, but we need to take action and “do the next right thing.”

This gets down to, do I trust that God will show me the next step after I take this one.

Following after God and figuring out his will for our life is about submitting ourselves to him so that we can make the most of our days. 

Decision Making Traps

The book HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Making Smart Decisions has an article entitled “The Hidden Traps in Decision Making.” The authors outline the decision-making traps that snare leaders, businesses, churches, and individuals.

I’ll list them below and share how they slow leaders, churches, and people down:

1. The anchoring trap leads us to give disproportionate weight to the first information we receive.

This happens in all of life, not just in leadership. Often, it takes time to get past whatever we hear first. Whether that is a date or first impression, it keeps us from thinking straight or seeing new ways of doing something. This is okay, as sometimes our first impression or information is correct.

A leader needs to get a variety of perspectives. Ask someone with a different point of view for advice or insight.

2. The status-quo trap biases us toward maintaining the current situation—even when better alternatives exist.

Churches are notorious for “doing things as we’ve always done them.” It is comfortable, requires less work, less risk and often, in a church, keeps the leaders from having meetings with angry people. The problem with the status quo is that you need to move forward; you are, at best, treading water and, at worst, falling behind. A leader should always ask, “Are we doing things as best as we can? Is there anything we should add or take away?”

3. The sunk-cost trap inclines us to perpetuate the mistakes of the past.

This is when you’ve sunk money, time, manpower, and effort into something that isn’t working. Instead of bailing or stopping, you keep going. Churches have done this for years by keeping ministries and programs going because we’ve always done them, not because they are mission-critical or move the ball forward. Countless ministries keep going and get budget dollars because they had them last year. This is why yearly evaluation in a church is so critical.

4. The confirming-evidence trap leads us to seek information supporting an existing predilection and discount opposing information.

While this goes closely with #1 and #2, this is where a leader looks for things and reasons to confirm what they want to do. We decide what to do and then determine why that is best. When this happens, it is essential to ask, “Why would I do it another way?” Even if all the evidence points in a specific direction, it is easy to think there is no other evidence.

5. The framing trap occurs when we misstate a problem, undermining decision-making.

Framing is how we see a problem. How we ask a question will determine the answer. One of the things I often ask our leaders is, “Is that the problem we are solving?” I want us to be sure that we are solving the right problem. It will only matter what the answer is once the problem is apparent. Often, ministries get started for no good reason but only because someone else did it first. It is helpful to ask questions differently when this starts to creep up.

6. The overconfidence trap makes us overestimate the accuracy of our forecasts.

This happens yearly regarding budgets, ministry plans, and looking ahead to big days. While God moves in powerful ways and grows churches unexpectedly, it is important not to think we can do more than we can. For instance, when you make your budget, what if giving decreases by 10% instead of increasing by 3%? Depending on the size of your budget, that can be hundreds of thousands of dollars.

7. The prudence trap leads us to be overcautious when we estimate uncertain events.

This trap often keeps us from making decisions, falling into #2, and settling for the status quo. This is the safe side and causes us to pull back and have zero confidence. Like each team often has an overconfident person, each team usually has a prudent person. Both are necessary and important to the health of a team and church, but one can often be too loud and drive the decision, and it is usually the lead pastor.

8. The recallability trap prompts us to give undue weight to recent, dramatic events.

This is when we look to the past to decide how the future will go. Churches, again, are so good at this. If you’ve ever joined a church staff, you will notice that the past was either incredible and may have well been the book of Acts, or you followed the people who led the church through the 400 years of God’s silence between the old and new Testaments.

Remember: the past is never as great or bad as we remember.

The Power of Words

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If you think back over your life, you can see the power of words. 

Words have the power to create stories, to crush or move dreams forward. Words have the power to create futures. 

Because words are powerful.

Words mark us.

As we saw on Sunday as we continued our series at CCC, The Best of You, the words of others create identities for us that are life-giving or negative.

We give so much power to the words of others.

The problem, though, is that most of our interactions tend to the negative side of words rather than the positive.

Proverbs 18:21 says The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We know this is true because we have all had words spoken to us that have brought life and lifted us, but we’ve also been the recipient of words that have brought us death and have torn us down.

We know the power of words, but often we underestimate their power in our lives.

We’ll often do that by explaining it away: they didn’t mean it that way. We’ll say to someone, that’s not what I meant when I said that. We’ll shrug and tell a counselor; it wasn’t a big deal when they said that. We’ll say, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will _____.” That’s not true. They hurt deeply. 

If you deflect and say, “what they said to me isn’t a big deal,” you need to pay attention to what you explain away or deflect. 

So what words bring life? What words bring death?

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:29, 31 that we are to let no unwholesome talk come out of our mouths. The word for unwholesome talk carries the same idea of rotting food. If you’ve smelled spoiled milk or food, you know what that feels like.

Then he tells us that we shouldn’t use words of bitterness, rage, anger, slander, brawling, and malice.

This is an extensive list.

All of these are things that happen in us and then come out in our words.

This is why Jesus said that our words are from the overflow of our hearts. 

Bitterness stems from the hurt of a past event; you were scarred, and resentment has built up. When we speak with bitterness, it is often a response to a past event. It is when we haven’t dealt with something in our past, but it creeps into our present. In relationships, we make someone pay for the sins of someone from our past. 

When was the last time you spoke from a place of rage and anger? When was the last time you thought, “I wish I hadn’t said that?” Have you ever had to go to someone and say, “I should not have said that, and I’m sorry?” Ever sent an email or text and immediately thought, I wish I could get that back!

Slander means to say things about someone that isn’t true, damaging someone’s reputation. 

Malice means to hurt someone intentionally with our words.

Malice is almost exclusively something that happens in the closest relationships because we know which buttons to push. We know how to get a dig in at our spouse, boss, co-worker, sibling, friend, or child. Sadly, we save our harshest words for our closest relationships.

Paul then tells us in verse 32: use kind and compassionate words. 

These words are sympathetic, empathetic, affectionate, and show concern. They are words that give pleasure and relief in life. This should categorize our words. If you’re honest, these are the words you long to hear from someone. I know I do. 

Couples, you have so much power in your words to your spouse. You can send them on a course to change the world and conquer what is in front of them or deflate them before they start. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve doubted myself, and Katie grabbed my hand and said, “you can do this. I’m proud of you.” She signs all her notes to me, saying, “with all my admiration and respect.” I’ll tell you what; I feel like I could pick up a car when I hear that.

Parents, the words and the tone you use today will shape your kids for a long time. Don’t believe me? How much have the words of a parent impacted you for good or bad?

You can lift your friends, boss, and co-workers with a simple word.

4 Ways to Build a Strong, Healthy Elder Team

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One of the most critical but often overlooked parts of being a lead pastor is interacting with and relating to your elder team. If you get this right, you will find smooth sailing and incredible momentum that is felt throughout the church. If you get this wrong, it can lead to many difficulties, frustration, and heartache on the part of the lead pastor, the elder team, and, ultimately, the church.

Over different seasons, I have gotten this right and gotten it wrong.

Recently, I was reading CEO Excellence: The Six Mindsets That Distinguish the Best Leaders from the Rest, and the authors have a whole section on the interactions between the CEO and the board of a company. They are: 

  • Choosing radical transparency
  • Building a strong relationship with the board chair
  • Reaching out to individual directors (elders)
  • Exposing the board to management

Let’s take them one at a time and apply them to churches:

Choosing radical transparency. It is amazing to hear how much or little pastors tell their elder teams. I get that it can be hard, and often as a lead pastor, you are dealing with your old wounds and scars as you step into trusting this group.

But one thing you should always strive to do is tell your elder team what is going on. Don’t hide things from them. If something happens in your church or you think something is going to happen, make sure they know before it happens or as quickly as possible.

There have been times I’ve told my elder team something might happen, and then it didn’t happen. But that openness has brought about a lot of trust and confidence. And many times, my current elder team has said, “Thanks for keeping us in the loop.” That trust goes a long way.

Building a strong relationship with the board chair. This person is the lead pastor in some churches, but I don’t think that’s wise.

Our church calls this person the elder facilitator to clarify what this person does, which I like more than the board chair. But whatever you call this person, it may be the person with the longest tenure or most influence on your board, whoever they are, build a relationship with them. They can be an incredible help to you in terms of advice, moving things forward, and getting a sense of what each person needs or where the church is, especially if you are new.

Reaching out to individual directors (elders). While the elder team works as a team, it is crucial to understand each person who serves on that team. Get to know their personalities, how they think and process things, their histories, theologies, and passions for ministry.

One of the things I do is meet with each elder individually throughout the year. I get feedback from them on how I’m doing, how the team is doing, and what they see and hear in the church.

If things get off track, they can be a pastor’s greatest asset and the first line of defense. But you have to invest in them relationally.

Exposing the board to management. This one is important but often tricky in a church setting. It is really important to clarify your governance and who answers to whom. In our setting, I, as the lead pastor, answer to our elder team, but everyone on staff answers to me. While the elder team is ultimately responsible for our church, they don’t oversee the staff. So the staff doesn’t have two bosses. In some church settings, this can get confusing. Clarifying this first is crucial to a healthy church team.

Once this is clear, you must figure out how to connect your staff and elder team. Unfortunately, many churches keep them apart, which can lead to disaster. 

One of the ways we do this is through reports that staff write or give to the elder team; we also connect one elder with each staff member to meet once a month to connect, pray together and have that elder attend one team meeting for that ministry each year. The elders then report to the whole elder team about how things are going in that area and what the elders should know and celebrate. 

Many lead pastors, unfortunately, are suspicious of their boards or see them as getting in the way. Working well with your board will relieve so many headaches and heartaches and make your church stronger and healthier. 

Favoritism, Faith and Getting Ahead

Favorites. 

We all have them. We joke in our families about who is our favorite child or grandchild. So, we know what it’s like to play favorites and how that can hurt relationships. 

And from an early age, we are taught to look for who is the most powerful, prestigious, or wealthiest in any room or situation. We know who people want to be around and learn that our lives can change, often for good, when we get around those people. 

Now, knowing these things in relationships or at work isn’t bad. They can be helpful when you try to accomplish things or need to raise funds for something. 

But the question Jesus poses through various parables and James’s question in chapter 2 is, “Does this knowledge influence how you treat people?” Wrapped up in James 2 is the reality that in the kingdom of God, the rich are brought down, and the poor are brought up. The old saying, “the ground is level at the cross.”

If you’ve been following along at my church as we’ve been going through the book of James and looking at what it means to be the best of you, in chapter 2, we see: The best of you is seen in how you treat people who can’t return the favor.

Going further, the best of you is seen in how you treat people who don’t return the favor.

This is because, throughout Scripture, we are told that God is the father to the fatherless, the defender of the widow (Exodus 22, Deuteronomy 10, Psalm 68).

 If the gospel has changed us, we will not only treat and love people the way God does, but we will see them the way God does. 

Some simple ways this might show up for you are:

  • Sitting with the person who eats alone. 
  • Giving a hug or smile to a person who needs it. 
  • Being fair and honest in your financial dealings. 
  • Not cutting corners, lying, or trying to use people to get ahead at work or financially. 
  • Doing biblical and wise things, not just legal, regarding finances. 
  • Living on less so you can give more. 

The question I ended with on Sunday is one we need to wrestle with: who in your life do you need to love and serve that can’t or won’t return the favor?

Gospel Centered Preaching

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There’s been a resurgence in the last decade around the gospel.

This is a good thing.

This has helped churches have a more robust view of the gospel. We see the gospel as more than just how one is made right with God, how one is changed, and how one goes to heaven. We are seeing the gospel for Christians and how the power of the gospel changes us into who God has called us to be.

This is positive.

It has also created a new thing to complain about and judge others.

Now, preachers are gospel-centered preachers. If you want to sell a book, throw the word gospel into it. Parenting, preaching, church planting, maybe even writing a book called the gospel. 

People on Twitter complain about writers and preachers who aren’t gospel-centered. Maybe, if you are a pastor, someone told you, “I’m leaving your church because you aren’t gospel-centered enough.”

When I’ve heard this, it often means, “You don’t preach the gospel the way I think the gospel should be preached.” In other words, “I think the gospel has specific components and need to be said in a certain order (i.e., the Romans road), and if you don’t say them in that order, you haven’t preached the gospel.” Or, sometimes, they want to hear the name of Jesus several times.

When I entered ministry twenty years ago, the debate was around deep and shallow preaching. People say, “I’m leaving your church because you aren’t deep enough.” The gospel-centered discussion is this generation’s deep preaching complaint in some ways.

So, if you are a pastor and get someone who comes up to you after a sermon or sends an email telling you that you aren’t gospel-centered, even though someone started following Jesus in that same sermon, what do you do?

Ask them what it means to be gospel-centered. While there are some agreed-upon components, each person has a different definition of what it means to be gospel-centered. As I said, this is about being Christ-focused or centered; for others, it is about giving a clear presentation of the gospel to follow Jesus; for some, it is about saying the name of Jesus. For others, it is about finding Jesus on every page of Scripture. For others, compare what you say to their favorite gospel-centered preacher and see if you use the exact words as Tim Keller or John Piper.

One of the best ways to learn from them and help them understand your perspective is to ask them what they think is gospel-centered. Sadly, most people who make this complaint cannot articulate it. For them, it comes down to a feeling or a sense they get from your preaching. It is essential to understand what you are talking about when you say “gospel-centered.”

At that point, you can have a conversation when terms are defined.

Lovingly tell them the gospel from your perspective. As you move forward, explain the gospel from your perspective to them. All over the New Testament, there is evidence of Peter and Paul communicating the gospel differently, depending on their audience. This is important for a pastor to keep in mind.

It is also essential to understand if someone is preaching at a conference or a church when they talk about the gospel. This is important. Many messages people point to for gospel focus happen at a conference with many pastors or Christians in a room. This differs from a week-in, week-out worship service at your local church.

The goal of preaching, from my perspective, is not a theological class. This is the goal of some conferences and can become the measuring stick for people in your church. So, it is vital to be clear when someone asks what your purpose of preaching is. Start here if you don’t have a clear answer as a pastor or a church.

Understand the fears and desires that come from someone in this conversation. When people bring up gospel-centeredness, it comes from fear and a desire to not water down Scripture.

The longer I’m in ministry, the more I see that when someone brings any complaint or question to me about anything, it is often from fear or concern. That’s a good thing.

In the end, gospel-centered preaching should always push people to a decision. It should show someone, whether they are a follower of Jesus or not, who they are apart from Jesus, their default sinful nature, and how their only hope for life, freedom, and peace is found in the power of the gospel. It should also show us God’s ultimate hope for the redemption of all things. It should show the defeat of evil and the enemy. The gospel is robust, not small.

Know that you emphasize a part of the gospel. The reality for every Christian and preacher is that we all emphasize a part of the gospel. For some, the focus is on the cross. For others, the focus is on the resurrection. For some, it is about law and obedience. Each preacher and Christian has a part of the gospel they emphasize over another part. This comes from your story, personality, church background, and other factors.

It is essential to know this and be aware of the blind spots it can create.

Recently, I spoke with someone about this topic and asked him: What is the church’s mission?

This is an essential question in all of this. It is easy to get into a mud-slinging debate about the gospel with someone and even think someone is beneath you as you look at them and their preaching.

The church’s mission, what you think the church exists for, determines much of what you do in a worship service, groups, and preaching.

It also determines how you communicate the gospel you preach each week. Throughout the book of Acts, Peter and Paul and the apostles contextualized the gospel based on the city and setting they were in. Same gospel, just different aspects of it depending on where they were. This is essential work as a pastor but can be easily misunderstood.

And, without realizing it, you can have different opinions on the church’s mission and what you are trying to accomplish in your Sunday morning gatherings.

Don’t stop preaching the way God has called you to preach. Be clear, passionate, and focused, and be the pastor God has called you to be

Guardrails, Temptation and Finding Freedom

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We all have things about ourselves that we hate; something we do, things we think, things we feel, and things in our past. We spend a lot of energy trying to change these things. We hope that something will be different tomorrow. Maybe we’ll magically stop looking at porn, buying things we can’t afford or working too much, stop being so desperate for love, stop feeling lonely, and stop saying something at the wrong moment. Perhaps that memory will finally go away.

So, we read our Bibles.

Struggling with sin is the everyday Christian experience. Not because we don’t have power over sin. We do have power because of the work of Jesus on the cross in our place and rising from the dead. We have the ability through the Holy Spirit to battle our sins and win, but we often lose.

In Romans 7, we see this struggle in Paul. Tim Keller lays this out as to why this is the present Christian experience:

  • At the beginning of chapter 7, Paul talks in the past tense; in verse 14, he changes to the present tense.
  • In  7 – 13, Paul talks about sin killing him, he’s dead, but in verse 14, Paul begins talking about an ongoing struggle with sin. He is fighting sin, struggling but refuses to surrender.
  • In  18, Paul says, “I know that nothing good dwells in me.” Those who don’t know Jesus are unaware of being lost and sinful. Without Jesus, we think we can save ourselves or are good.
  • In  22, Paul says, “I delight in God’s law.” If you don’t know Jesus, you can’t delight in God’s law.
  • Keller concludes, “Often we repent of past sin and think it’s done, but God wants to show us how to hate it when the seeds come up again.”

To move forward in freedom, it is important to name and confess those things you do that you hate. Those struggles you battle with. To admit what dwells in you. Often we have an inflated view of our goodness, but to experience the grace, we must understand the depths of our brokenness. Otherwise, what do we need God’s grace and forgiveness for?

We must put guardrails into place to find victory over sin and temptation. Guardrails on the road are there to direct and protect. They tell us where to go and where not to go. Guardrails aren’t in the danger zone but are built in the safety zone. One of our problems and reasons we fall into temptation is because we ask, “How far is too far?” Basically, “how close can I get without sinning?” When we have this mindset, we fall into sin.

As you think about finding victory, here are a few questions to answer:

What sin, temptation, emotion, situation, or relationship do you need to place a guardrail around? We have to identify what the battle is. Is it food, porn, going into debt, gossip, or working too much? Maybe it is a relationship where you need to have some boundaries to protect your heart or to have some wisdom in the access you give someone. We often fail to identify where a guardrail needs to be placed; if we don’t do that, we won’t protect ourselves.

What does a guardrail look like in that situation? For each person and each case, the guardrail might look different. I have a friend who, to put a guardrail around porn, doesn’t have a smartphone. Some people have cut up their credit cards not to overbuy; maybe they stop going to a place or putting themselves in a situation. Yes, God promises to give us a way out of every temptation, but sometimes, that way is not showing up or opening yourself up to that opportunity. If the thing you are placing a guardrail around involves someone else, let them speak about what the guardrail might be.

What freedom will a guardrail lead to? I think this is a crucial step. What will a life of freedom look like if you place a guardrail around that situation or thing? This focus can be compelling as you work through the complicated steps toward freedom.