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The Post-Pandemic Church

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We are now more than a year into the covid pandemic. All of life and ministry is different and, in some ways, the same.

Almost every pastor I talk to is tired and deflated. They have walked through incredible difficulties at home, church, and school. They have shouldered the weight of not only their own health but also the health of those in their churches. They’ve tried to navigate a contentious political season. Combined with all of this they have tried to continue leading their church.

For many, we aren’t even thinking about the post-covid church. We are simply trying to get through the covid church.

But I want to encourage you: we will come out the other side of this. Whenever that is, there will be a church. But that church will look very different from 2019 and even today.

I believe the churches and the leaders who can prepare for that future will be better suited to step into it.

And while I don’t have a crystal ball, I think there are some things pastors and leaders need to dig into to prepare for what is next.

Four questions to ask about the post-pandemic church.

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1. What did we learn about ourselves and our church in the crisis? This crisis is a lot of things, but it is an opportunity to evaluate how you are doing as a church. Hopefully, you have taken some time to take a step back and ask, “What has this pandemic shown me as a leader? As a church?” I think every church learned at least one thing they weren’t doing well that they thought they were doing well.

Maybe you thought your church was great at evangelism but found out they were good at inviting. Maybe you thought you were doing well in the community but found out during 2020 that people aren’t as connected as they thought. It could be that you thought you had a strong volunteer culture, but once covid hit you learned it wasn’t as healthy as you thought. Maybe you learned something about your preaching or staff culture.

This isn’t to pile on to already tired pastors and churches, but this is an opportunity to face what Jim Collins calls “the brutal facts.”

This is a chance to have a reset in many ways as a church and leader. Maybe you learned something about your rhythms or practices as a leader and you want to make some changes.

At some point, as a couple, as a leadership team, sit down and ask, “What did we learn about ourselves in this past year?” Don’t rate them, excuse them or get defensive. List them out.

And not just the negatives, but also list the positives.

Maybe you learned you have a strong discipleship culture, your church is resilient, or that it cares deeply for your city. We learned some great things at our church, and we learned some things we need to work on. They both matter in this season as we prepare for what is next.

2. What do we need to change in our church because of what we learned? Once you have listed out what you have learned about your church, what do you need to change because of it?

Maybe you need to stop doing some things or finally end that program that really isn’t moving the mission forward. This is a great opportunity to stop things, especially if you stopped them during covid and realize, “We don’t actually need that.”

Maybe you need to start some things or add to the things that are a strength of your church.

If you go back to what you were doing in February of 2020, I think that is a real loss as a church. This pandemic has shown us things about our churches, things we like and things we don’t like. And that’s okay. That is helpful and provides opportunities for us to move forward with greater intentionality.

3. What did we try that we want to continue? Every church has experimented in the past year. We have experimented with online groups, digital connect cards, podcasts, daily Instagram lives, prayer times online and a whole host of other things.

I have loved watching churches innovate. 

What have you tried or seen someone else try that you want to continue?

Our church has experimented with several things. Some will continue, some will adapt so we can continue, and others will end. And that’s okay. 

But sit down and lay out: what have we tried that we want to continue? This last year is an opportunity that God has given to us and it would be a shame if we missed it.

4. Moving forward, what will we focus on? When taken all together, this past year has shown the church what we should be about, what we are called to specifically as a church in our specific location.

And while what you learned and what you will focus on may be just for your church, I think there are some universal things I’ve seen and heard from other pastors. 

If I could narrow it down, I think the church’s future will center on connecting and equipping. 

The future of the church will center on connecting and equipping.

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Connecting people to each other, themselves and to God. Equipping them to live out their faith and be on mission in their daily lives so that they can help people connect with each other, themselves and God. 

Some will say, hasn’t that what the church has always been about? Yes and no. 

For me, this past year has shown how important that is and how easy it is to forget and focus on other things. 

It doesn’t matter what your answers to these questions are or if they are different than mine. What does matter is that we move into the future of the church with vision and purpose. God has great things planned for each of our churches and ministries. People need the gospel and are longing for hope and connection. 

Four questions to ask about the post-pandemic church.

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How to Slow Down & Rest

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Almost everyone I talk to right now is exhausted. Not just physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Our exhaustion comes from a lot of places:

  • Maybe you found yourself as a parent pulling your hair out as you try to navigate online school or hybrid learning. 
  • Juggling work, to-do lists, errands. 
  • Most of us rush from one meeting to the next. One thing to the next. 
  • Maybe you are retired or find yourself with more time than you used to have, but you find yourself mentally exhausted, and you don’t know why. 
  • Or maybe in your job, you have never been busier. Never been more exhausted.

All of this causes us to miss things in life. We miss out on opportunities because we are too tired, frazzled, and busy. We miss out on moments in relationships because of our pace. 

Our health suffers. As we sleep less, we spend more time on technology. We have become unhealthier and lonelier. We grab sleeping pills or alcohol, anything to help us fall asleep or numb ourselves. 

Our relationship with God suffers as we take less time to talk to him or listen to him. 

But often, instead of slowing down, we add more things to the list. We double down on working harder, pushing harder when we really need to slow down and rest.

In Matthew 11, Jesus gives us one of the most amazing invitations, to come to him and rest. He says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus says so much here that I don’t want us to miss: 

Come to me. Jesus invites us to come. Many of us have this idea that God doesn’t want us, but Jesus tells us that isn’t true. He invites us. Relating to God, spiritual practices begin with the belief, the knowledge that God wants to be with us. To know us, for us to know Him. To experience life and rest in Jesus, we must believe that God wants us to come to him and that God wants to restore our lives. 

Again, who does he invite? 

All you who are weary and burdened. How do you know if that’s you? How do you know if you need to come to Jesus for rest? Often, we think we aren’t that tired, or if we can push through this next week or month. But we are usually kidding ourselves with that. Too often, instead of finding rest, we try to survive life with sugar or caffeine throughout the day, a donut to get us going in the morning, 5-hour energy to get us through the afternoon, pushing harder and harder, working late into the night and then when our brains are wired, taking a sleeping pill to fall asleep. 

About this passage, Dane Ortlund said, “You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.“

You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come. -Dane Ortlund

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What an amazing truth. Your burden, your weariness, your exhaustion is what qualifies you to come to Jesus.

Jesus says, “I will give you rest.” Rest is a gift from God. It is from his generosity when we come to him.  This is more than a nap or a long night’s sleep. This is soul rest. 

You are at rest…

  • When you know, you are loved by God and no longer strive to be loved. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer work too hard to prove yourself worthwhile to others. 
  • You are at rest…when you no longer try to control everything. 
  • You are at rest…when you stop worrying and let go of your worries and anxieties to God.

Jesus says, “walk with me, take my yoke and learn from me.” We learn from Jesus as we walk with him. Side by side. In the ancient world, farmers would put two animals in a yoke. One animal was strong, and one was weaker. The weaker animal was often younger or less mature. 

So Jesus invites us to take his yoke, not only cause he is stronger than we are, but so we can learn from him. We can walk with him, to apprentice to Jesus, to become more like him as we work and walk with him. Jesus says, “I am stronger than you. Come, and I will do the heavy lifting.” As we practice rest, slowing down, we become more like Jesus. We walk with Jesus. 

What a gift. 

Then, Jesus tells us what we experience in this: I am gentle and humble in heart. 

We run and run, often from God, but from others and ourselves because of fear. Jesus says we can come to him because he is gentle. Jesus is gentle and humble in heart. 

This is who God is. This is the God we rest with. Rest in. One of my kids is a snuggle, and I love when he gets close. I often imagine this is what Jesus is saying here. I am gentle; I will give you comfort. 

You will find rest. What do we find? Rest. 

A soul rest. 

A peace. 

Contentment. A deep trusting calm. 

And lifting when we trust God instead of trusting ourselves.

My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. This verse is the only time the word easy is used in the bible. 

Jesus invites us to get as close as possible, to walk with him. When we are really linked with him, that’s where rest happens, where life is abundant and full. Often, when we think of God, we think of him as giving us burdens, but he doesn’t. 

In fact, if you and I are carrying burdens, they aren’t from God but things we are to give to God. Anything that is keeping you from rest gives to God. Anything that keeps you from being present with God, others, or yourself, give it to God. Anything that weighs you down keeps you up at night; give it to God. 

This is why Peter invites us to Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

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What is the yoke you are carrying that you need to lay down and let Jesus take?

God wants to walk with us. God wants us to experience rest and life. God wants to take our burdens so that we can live free and light.

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How to Have a Feast!

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We are in the middle of a series on spiritual practices at my church, and one of the practices I got to teach on was feasting. You can watch it here.

Feasting is a spiritual practice that we don’t talk about very often, but as we look at the life of Jesus, we know that Jesus spent a lot of time at meals and feasts. New Testament scholar Robert Karris said, ‘In Luke’s Gospel Jesus is either going to a meal, at a meal or coming from a meal.’ Feasting is all over the Bible. There are feasts throughout the Old Testament. The bible ends in a fantastic feast. Jesus spent so much time at feasts. Jesus’ first miracle recorded in the Bible in Luke 2, took place at a party!

In Luke’s Gospel Jesus is either going to a meal, at a meal or coming from a meal. -Robert Karris

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In his book The Possibility of Prayer: Finding Stillness with God in a Restless World, Pastor John Starke said, “the Bible entices its readers with visions of feasts and suppers more than instructions about fasting.” So, as we practice the practice of feasting, remember, For Jesus, feasting was not just about enjoyment but also about one of the ways he fulfilled God’s mission. 

For Jesus, feasting was not just about enjoyment but also about one of the ways he fulfilled God’s mission.

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If the spiritual practice of feasting is new to you, one resource that has helped Katie and me is The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time.

Here are some ideas on how to practice feasting and to enjoy God’s gifts of food and presence:

How to practice the spiritual practice of feasting.

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  • Plan it. What will you eat, what music will you play, who will be there? How will you make sure people are present to themselves, God, and each other? How will you make sure you are present to yourself? 
  • Determine what matters for you. Will you cook? What will you listen to? Our family sometimes cooks a feast, and sometimes we get pizza. But what we always do is sit at our table, light candles, listen to records and make a giant cookie. Those are anchors for our feast. 
  • Don’t have your phone at the table. Have a box where people stick their phones so everyone can be present at the feast. 
  • Make this a regular practice and schedule it at least once a month. I’d encourage you to do this weekly but start small. 
  • Take a nap the afternoon before a feast, and don’t eat as much that day so you can indulge and enjoy without guilt. 
  • Use conversation cards. We use these from the Orange, which is our kids’ curriculum. They have questions like: Which person at the table is most likely to break a world record and in what? What was your favorite toy as a kid? Fun things that draw us together. Here are different cards for you to get depending on who will be there: Adult conversation cards Family conversation cards.
  • List out things you are grateful for from this past week. 
  • Have a meal with someone who doesn’t know Jesus and listen to their story. 
  • Laugh. Laughter is such a gift from God. God is a God of joy. 

Lastly, remember Christ is present. When we feast, we enact what Jesus spent most of his life doing, being with people, enjoying God’s good gifts. When our family feasts, we light candles to remind us of the presence of Jesus, that he is the light of the world and our lives, and he is with us. 

We are also experiencing a taste of eternity. We are told in Revelation that one day, the followers of Jesus will be at the feast of the Lamb, the feast of Jesus. 

Feasting is a rhythm that grounds us in celebration and thanksgiving. It also prepares us for heaven. It is a time to stop each week, to pause and reflect on God’s goodness to us, to relate to each other, and enjoy life. 

The Bible entices its readers with visions of feasts and suppers more than instructions about fasting. -John Starke

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The Goal of Spiritual Practices

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Almost every year, when news years goals and resolutions roll around, millions of people make a goal connected to their spiritual life. It might be reading their bible more, praying more, being more generous, which is awesome. But often, we fail to move the needle in those places, or at least to the degree we’d look to.

Often then, we get frustrated with ourselves, think something is wrong with us, and many times, fail to reengage with God.

Have you ever asked why that is? There are many reasons this happens, but I think one of them centers on spiritual practices.

Have you ever asked yourself: What is the goal of spiritual practices? When I read my bible, pray, give, fast, or any other spiritual practice, what am I hoping will happen?

What is the goal of spiritual practices?

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We are in the middle of a series on spiritual practices at our church. At some point, to actually grow in our faith and spiritual journey, we have to ask this important question. I often; assume something will happen or believe that the point isn’t that important because we are supposed to do it.

But if you think about the question, you will start to think of things like growing close to Jesus, growing in my faith, learning about Jesus.

Spiritual practices are the ways that we connect with God and relate to God. But spiritual practices also do something else; they are how we become more present to God, others, and ourselves.

Spiritual practices are the ways that we become more present to God, others and ourselves.

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This is why the goal of spiritual practices is so important because if we don’t know the purpose, we won’t know why we need to practice them or what we are trying to experience or accomplish when we practice them. We will also miss what God is trying to do in us, around us, and through us in those practices. We can read our bible, pray, take a sabbath, and miss all that it could be.

While spiritual practices do many things, I think they bring about 2 significant things:

  1. They are about our formation, how we become more like Christ, how we walk with Christ as his disciples, as his apprentices, alongside him.
  2. They help us to be present with God, ourselves, and others. They help us be aware of what is going on in us, what is going on in others, and what God is doing. They help us not to miss things.

As we practice them, we are looking for how God is forming us. As we experience difficulty or struggle through practice, we are looking for what God is doing in us, how we are being shaped, and who we are being shaped into. But practices are not just us and God. They involve the community and are shaped by the community. Yes, you will be alone often as you practice spiritual practices, but they also have a deep connection to others both in practice and how we interact with others after the practice. This is often forgotten, and I think that brings damage to the Christian life.

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Keeping Your Team on the Same Page

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Have you ever had this experience: You look at things your team or staff is doing, you look at programs at your church and wonder, why are they doing that? Why are we doing that?

Most leaders will shrug and let it go because they trust their team, and they assume there is a good reason they are doing that. There is a good reason we are doing that. And, let’s be honest, as leaders, we have so many other things to do.

But at this moment, the leader actually pushes one of their main tasks to the side.

The task that very few leaders like and keep your team, keeping your church or organization aligned.

Leaders like creativity, strategizing, and brainstorming to develop ideas, but the actual alignment management isn’t enjoyable. In fact, it can be exhausting. And, as leaders, we often think, “If it’s clear to me, it’s clear to everyone.”

Leaders too often think, “If it’s clear to me, it’s clear to everyone.”

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No matter how long a team is together, one of the most difficult and important tasks of the leader is to keep everyone on the same page.

It is easy as a leader to think, “We all know what the mission is, so we’re good.” Or, many leaders think, if it’s clear to me, it’s clear to everyone.

Many leaders think, if it’s clear to me, it’s clear to everyone.

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Like a car, one of the most important things for a church or team is alignment. 

On any team, alignment is crucial.

If your vision, word for the year, or goal involves more than you, alignment is crucial. 

But like a car, you must pay attention to it because alignment isn’t natural. 

It takes attention and care. 

Andy Stanley said, “Visions thrive in an environment of unity. They die in an environment of disunity.”

Visions thrive in an environment of unity. They die in an environment of disunity. -Andy Stanley

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I remember talking to a couple once whose marriage hit hard times, and they were talking about getting divorced, and I asked them why. They looked at me and said, “We no longer have the same goals, the same dream.” They started with it, but slowly, they stopped working together, and their lives went in different directions. 

Alignment takes care and attention. 

And like a car, we often overlook the warning signs of alignment at work, home, and in life. 

But, for a vision, goal, word for the year to come to fruition, staying aligned is crucial.

How do you know if the alignment is off course? Here are a few ways:

  1. People start having competing wins.
  2. People start fighting for stage time or platform time for “their thing.”
  3. Leaders can’t articulate the overall “why” for the church or the “why” is different.

So, what do you do as a leader or team to keep alignment?

  1. Ensure everyone can articulate why you are doing something, who you are trying to reach with it, or the goal for a ministry or event.
  2. Once that is clear, continually communicate it and keep it in front of people.
  3. Listen for anything that sounds like something different than #1, and gently move your team back to the focus.

Yes, this is hard. Yes, this never ends.

But that is the job of a leader. Otherwise, you won’t get to the place you set out to get to.

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Friday Five

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I hope you made it through your week. I am in the midst of a busy season, but I’m finding that the more time I give myself to learn, grow, and be recharged, the better. I got away from that a bit in 2020 but am trying to stay on track in 2021.

Here are my favorite books, podcasts, and blogs of the last couple of weeks. I hope it helps you grow!

Favorite books:

I’m a huge football fan, but as a Steelers fan, I am supposed to despise the Patriots and Bill Belichick, but Jeff Benedict’s Dynasty was fascinating. There were so many things I didn’t know about the Patriots that I learned. The attention to detail that Belichick has is second to none. If you’re a football fan, this is a fun read. 

Over the last year, Gordon MacDonald has become one of my favorite authors. Two of his books made it on my favorite book list of 2020. Recently, I picked up Mid-Course Correction: Re-Ordering Your Private World for the Second Half of Life. Wow. If you are over 40, this book is one you should definitely dig into. It gets into many of the ruts people face in their careers and relationships and their faith journeys between 40 and 60. He walks through much of the Old Testament but really zeroes into Abraham’s life and what he walked through and how that translates to our lives. So much in this one to chew on. 

Favorite podcasts:

One of my favorite podcasts is The Learning Leader with Ryan Hawk. Recently with my daughter, we listened to the interview David Rubenstein on Launching a Business, Living With Purpose, & Loving Your Life. Before the interview, I’ll be honest I had no idea who David Rubenstein was, but his story and wisdom were fascinating. I definitely had some good conversations with my daughter about public speaking, earning money, and what matters most in life.

Favorite blog posts:

2020 was really hard, and 2021 is off to a hard start. Here is some advice to keep moving forward.

Doris Kearns Goodwin, who wrote a fantastic book on leadership, Leadership in Turbulent Times, has a great article on Lincoln and the Art of Transformative Leadership. There is a lot to learn about Lincoln and the times that he lived compared to our own current season of leading.

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Phones, Loneliness and Our Deep Need to Connect

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Recently, our family had to quarantine again because of being exposed to covid, and a few of our kids tested positive with covid.

When covid first started, the idea of quarantine sounded nice. Staying home, meetings on zoom.

But then, once you are in it, the reality of being at home, alone, sets in. Eventually, you run out of things to read, things to watch, and things to do. You are reminded how much you crave connection with people. How much we need others and how much we enjoy the routines of life.

Here’s why this matters so much: Loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. Even before covid, but I think that covid has exasperated it.

Recently, in researching a sermon, I came across these stats:

  • 1 out of every 4 Americans says they are always lonely or lacking friends.
  • 50% say no one knows them well.
  • More than half a million people under 40 haven’t left their house in the last 6 months in Japan. That is incredible. That was before covid!
  • With social media, on-demand TV, door dash, uber eats, we can stay in.

In fact, researchers have found that this increased loneliness in our culture, especially among students, leads to an increased sense of life that is meaningless and devoid of purpose.

As a parent, I’ve spent a good bit of time researching relationships, social media, phones, and loneliness as I help my kids interact with others and prepare for the future.

The effects of phones and social media on teenagers.

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Do you know, the younger you are, the more likely you are to suffer from loneliness and not be truly present?

According to Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT (so not against technology), in her book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, this happens for several reasons:

  • Studies show the rise of social media, people getting a phone younger and younger, has led to an increase in loneliness, an inability to hold a conversation and be present with others.
  • For the first time, our whole lives are seen on a screen through social media. Every embarrassing thing we’ve done will show up as a Facebook memory.
  • The typical cellphone user touches his or her phone 2,617 time every day. That’s the average. The extreme is as high as 5,000 times a day.
  • When Turkle’s research team asked teenagers and young adults why they are on their phones at mealtimes while sitting at the table with others, do you know the number one answer? My parents did it.

And what is fascinating about our culture is how we can be alone in a crowd, because of our phones. Turkle said, “Remember the power of your phone. It’s not an accessory. It’s a psychologically potent device that changes not just what you do but who you are. Don’t automatically walk into every situation with a device in hand: When going to our phones is an option, we find it hard to turn back to each other, even when efficiency or politeness would suggest we do just that. The mere presence of a phone signals that your attention is divided, even if you don’t intend it to be. It will limit the conversation in many ways: how you’ll listen, what will be discussed, the degree of connection you’ll feel. Rich conversations have difficulty competing with even a silent phone. To clear a path for conversation, set aside laptops and tablets. Put away your phone.”

So, how do we handle quarantine and our phones?

While some people will throw their phones away or get off social media, and if that’s you, that is great.

But we need to set some limits. In the same way that we set screen time limits for our kids, we need to do the same.

How to use your phone during covid.

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Here are a few ideas:

  • The next time you think of texting someone, call them or facetime them.
  • Read your bible before you look at your phone, email, or social media.
  • Turn your phone off an hour before bed and read a book. This will help your mind to relax and prepare to sleep.
  • Take a walk without your phone.

This is a hard time but can also be a great time for connection if we are intentional about it.

How to be more intentional with your phone and social media.

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The Best Advice I’ve Gotten in the Last 5 Years

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Sometimes, someone will say something to us that will stop us in our tracks.

I had a moment like that five years ago.

Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

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I was at The Leaders Journey, a formative 3-year journey for Katie and me. But over lunch one day, I was talking with one of the leaders about that. He’s an older pastor and counselor who said something that stopped me in my tracks.

He looked at me and said, “Josh, in your 20’s and 30’s, you have the energy to outrun your story and scars, but in your 40’s and 50’s, you don’t.”

At the time, I didn’t think I truly understood how important this truth is or how often I would think about it and refer back to it in my own thinking and conversations with others.

As I entered my 40s, I saw this to be true. But I have also seen it not only in my story but the story of others.

In your 20’s and 30’s, you have the energy to outrun your story and scars, but in your 40’s and 50’s, you don’t. -Jim Cofield

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There are a few reasons for that.

In our 40’s, we often wake up one day and look at our lives and think, “I thought I’d be somewhere different by now.” Maybe you thought you’d be married or have kids by now or that those things would be different than they are. Maybe you thought you’d finish school, start a business by now or be further along financially than you are.

Another reason is in our 20’s and 30’s, we are building things. There is a lot of time left when things don’t work as expected. If you lose a job in your 20s or fail at work or school, it feels easier to brush it off and move on. In our 40’s and 50’s, life feels shorter. The days feel shorter. More responsibilities are placed on us, and it is harder for us to think about those dreams.

Third, we dream a lot in our 20’s and 30’s. I talk to very few people over 40 still dreaming and hoping for the future. Many of us fall into this rut of thinking nothing in our lives can change or move forward. Many of us think this is how it is and this is how it will always be.

And lastly, in our 20’s and 30’s, we have the energy to work and work. We have the energy to pretend things aren’t there, and we fill our days and weeks with many things to keep us busy. We don’t think about our stories and scars. Later in life, our energy goes down, and slowly, we can’t outrun our story anymore. We come face to face with what has happened to us and what we have done.

The reality is, your story can be changed and redeemed at any point, but the longer we live with our story without changing it, the easier it feels not to change or to lose hope and think it can never change.

It makes sense. The older we get, the more of life we experience. 

The older I get, the more acquainted with unmet expectations I become. 

The more I see the door to disappointment and cynicism. 

One of my favorite quotes about this idea is from Lysa TerKeurst: “Sometimes, to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.”

Sometimes, to get your life back, you must face the death of what you thought your life would look like. -Lysa TerKeurst

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Unless you wrestle with your story, you will always chase those things that fill the broken places. Part of being able to dream is allowing God to heal those places.

I heard Gordon MacDonald, a pastor in his 80’s, say recently: “At some point in your life, to be a happy old person, you must decide what kind of older person you want to become and then move towards that.” Otherwise, you end up miserable because old age catches you by surprise.

At some point in your life, to be a happy old person, you must decide what kind of older person you want to become and then move towards that. -Gordon MacDonald

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Quarantine Date Night

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Covid and quarantine have made everything challenging, but I think one of the biggest challenges is how to keep the romance alive in your marriage.

If that is something you are finding a challenge, or maybe you aren’t comfortable going out for dinner or having someone in your house to babysit your kids, here are some ideas on keeping that romance alive while you are at home.

7 ways to make date night special on a budget.

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  1. Have a plan. Nothing hurts date night more than having no plan. In the same way that you plan going out, plan what it will look like at home. What will you eat, who is doing what, what time will things get started? Decide those things ahead of time. You may have to be more intentional about the plan for date night at home because you are at home.
  2. Get dressed up. Don’t get into your pajama pants. Nothing shuts your brain down more at the end of a long day like getting into comfortable clothes. Wear what you would wear if you were going out.
  3. No electronics. The fastest way to kill most date nights is turning on the TV, no checking out Facebook or Twitter or your email. Concentrate on each other if you decide together to watch a show or movie, great but make sure that it is part of the plan.
  4. Plan a fun meal. It doesn’t have to be expensive or a feast, but something special. Something you wouldn’t normally eat. Katie and I love to try new recipes, so we’re always searching. There are so many blogs and ideas out there.
  5. Eat with your kids. At home, we do an appetizer while our kids eat so that we can still eat dinner with them, talk with them about their day, and it helps to hold us over until we eat.
  6. Know who will cook and who will put the kids down. It might be more relaxing for your wife to cook. She may want you to handle the kids or vice versa. Whatever it is, communicate that and stick to it.
  7. Pick a night you are awake for. There are certain nights you are more alert and awake than others. Find that night and do date night on that night. If you have a long day on Tuesday, don’t do date night that night. Maximize the night where your energy levels are highest. I find knowing which night date night will help me to be mentally prepared for it.
7 ways to make a date night at home a success.

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Bottom line, don’t let your romance fizzle out during this season.

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Friday Five

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Can you believe it is 2021?!

It is almost hard to believe that the calendar has turned and it is a new year, but it does feel good. Even if the cloud of covid is still hanging over us, it has been a few months since I shared a Friday Five, but I thought the first full week of 2021 would be a good time to dust it off.

So here goes:

Favorite books:

I read two books over the Christmas break that were both incredibly helpful and timely. One was The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni. It was timely because this a great book to look at the heart behind your leadership. Doing that over the New Year was good for me as I think about where I am in life and look forward to 2021 and beyond. 

The second book was Future Church: Seven Laws of Real Church Growth by Will Mancini. This book, every pastor needs to read and wrestle with as we think about what ministry will actually look like in the future and how to reach people best. 

Favorite podcasts:

One of my favorite podcasts is The Learning Leader. Recently, Ryan Hawk released two episodes (How To Create A Generosity Flywheel, Make The Trust Wager, & Earn WHO Luck and The Art Of Getting People To Want To Do What Must Be Done), Jim Collins. There is so much in both of these episodes, especially for pastors.

Favorite blog posts:

Carey Nieuwhof every year posts his church trends. This week he shared 8 trends that churches need to be aware of as we move into 2021. Some highlights to me: #1 is something all communicators and worship leaders have to think about as they prepare each week and lead from the stage, #2 & #5 closely echoes Mancini’s book about what the future of the church will look like, I love the creativity and possibilities of #4, and #6 is one that cannot be overlooked because that will have an enormous impact on what churches do (especially as it relates to who they are trying to reach and connect with).