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3 Ideas for 2021 Goals

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The calendar has turned and it is finally 2021!

Many of us never thought 2020 would end, but it did.

Now what?

If you’re like me, you are setting out goals and dreams for the new year. Maybe you do a word for the year, make a list of resolutions or goals.

To help with that, let me give you three ideas from Bob Goff’s book Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It, to help you:

1. The unwritten rules of our lives. These are things we tell ourselves. I can’t handle money because my family didn’t do that. No one in my family was successful, so I can’t be successful. I’m too old. I’m too young. I don’t have enough school. I have too much school.

One of my unwritten rules that keeps me from dreaming or moving forward is the rule that whatever I do has to be a home run and be noticed. It is a constant battle of ambition that I fight.

If we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules, we will fall into old patterns or miss potential opportunities ahead of us. Often, we miss goals or set the wrong ones because we aren’t aware of our lives’ unwritten rules.

How the unwritten rules of your life impact you & your future.

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2. We don’t know what we want to be known for. Many of us don’t know what we want people to say about us at our funeral. Or, we know what we want them to say, but we aren’t willing to do those things. Bob Goff said, “Too many of us would rather succeed pretending to be someone we’re not than fail as ourselves.”

Too many of us would rather succeed pretending to be someone we’re not than fail as ourselves. -Bob Goff

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Many of us live the lives that other people want for us or the lives we think we should live because we have a certain number of kids, we are a certain age, etc.

This reminds me of Bronnie Ware’s book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, where she said the number 1 regret of those on their death bed was: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

The #1 regret of those dying: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

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I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait until I’m on my death bed to decide to live the life I’m supposed to live. What a tragedy.

And if 2020 taught us anything, it is that none of us are promised anything.

3. Be brave enough to try something new and be terrible at it. This is where the perfectionists stop in their tracks. Be terrible at it. Many men don’t want to attempt anything unless they are great at it. But one way we restore hope is curiosity, trying new things, learning something new.

Whatever you choose for 2021, be intentional.

As I walk into 2021, I am more and more passionate about not missing moments or opportunities. 2020 has reminded me of how short life and how important every moment is. I’m praying you, and I don’t miss what God has for us in 2021!

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My Favorite Books of 2020

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It’s that time of year. One of my favorite times of the year, when I share my favorite books of the year. If you want to see all the books I read this year, you can see those here. I also posted my favorite fun books and our favorite shows of the year.

Now, on to the list:

When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat. This is an important book for churches and leaders to wrestle with. There were multiple times where I thought back to leadership situations, meetings I sat through, and things said to me and wondered, “Was Chuck there?” This was a quick read, but one that is hard to digest. Pastors need to wrestle with what it looks like to lead like Jesus in a world that desperately needs Jesus.

Fathered by God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You by John Eldredge. As a dad to sons and trying to make sense of life stages, this was a helpful read. Eldredge takes us through the stages of a man’s life, when they happen, what a man needs to move through each one. It gave language to things in my past but also my future. It also showed me some important things for my sons. If you are a father of boys, this is an essential book to read. 

Team of Five: The Presidents Club in the Age of Trump by Kate Andersen Bower. This book was a fun read. A few leadership lessons in it, but I learned a ton of things about the Presidents that I didn’t know before, and it felt like a timely read with the election upon us and watching The West Wing with Katie and the Reich 5. 

The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus by Rich Villodas. This might be one of my favorite spiritual formation books I’ve ever read, mostly because of how unique it is. When we think of spiritual formation books, we expect a book to have a chapter on bible reading, prayer, fasting, etc. What Rich does is take us on a different journey. He unpacks Sabbath and includes things like racial reconciliation and sexual wholeness, which puts this book in a different category compared to others. He looks at our whole lives and how they interconnect with others, not just on an individual basis, which is so needed today. 

Building Below the Waterline: Strengthening the Life of a Leader by Gordon MacDonald. I rediscovered Gordon MacDonald this year (you’ll notice he’s the only author on this list twice). I say rediscovered because I read some of his books in college and seminary, but reading his books in your 40’s is different. This is an older book, but it has so much wisdom in it.

Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move by Andy Stanley. This is one of the books that got added to my kid’s reading list for high school. I wish I had had this book years ago. The 5 questions Andy takes you through are critical when facing any decision. The two that stood out to me were “paying attention to any tension in you” and “What story do you want to tell when this decision is a story?”

This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers by KJ Ramsey. This is one of the most beautiful books I have ever read. Her words and ideas were so helpful in this season. In fact, I got to have KJ join me for a deeper dive at our church about her book and how it helps us to get through the difficult parts of life. Very rarely am I moved to tears with a book, but this book did that. It spoke to a very deep place in me. 

Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change by Tod Bolsinger. This was easily the best leadership book I read this year. Not only was this timely for 2020, but one all pastors and leaders should read as we head into 2021. It gives you a framework for what you faced this year and how to survive into the next year, and the road ahead. It also helps make sense of the difficult road that a leader walks and how that road prepares you for what is next. It’s possible I highlighted more of this book than left it unhighlighted. 

A Resilient Life: You Can Move Ahead No Matter What by Gordon MacDonald. A mentor told me that this is a great book to read at the halfway point of life, and he was right. At 41, I am really trying to engage in what helps a leader last and become the older person I want to become. Like the other book by MacDonald on this list, there was so much wisdom packed into this book. I’ve recommended it to everyone I know who is turning 40. 

Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund. This book is on a lot of “best of” lists and with good reason. Each page is saturated with gospel goodness. If I had to pick my favorite book of the year, this is it. 

If you’re curious about past years’ list, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, and 2019.

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Most Read Articles of 2020

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I did less writing on my blog in 2020. I don’t know if it was covid, my changing role at my church, or thinking about things more than creating.

Whatever it was, I’m thankful for all of you who have stuck with me and continue to read and share this content. I hope that it helps you to lead and live at a higher level.

Below, you will find the most-read posts of the year:

What Will Ministry in a Post-Covid World Look Like?

I wrote this post in April when we were only a month into quarantine and online church, but the 7 questions in it are incredibly relevant to every pastor and staff as we move into 2021 and what the “new normal” will look like.

7 Keys to Preaching to a Camera

Every pastor spent more time preaching to an empty room than they ever planned to when they started in ministry, but the camera and online church are here to stay. Yes, it won’t always be an empty room, but we can and should grow in this ministry arena. And yes, this is the second post on this list with 7 ideas in it!

How to Be Still in a Crazy World

All of us were forced to sit still more than we expected this past year as we spent more time at home than normal. But while we did, the world got crazier. My fear looking back, is that we missed some chances to be still and be with God. Even in this time of the year, this is a timely post to help you be still wherever you are.

Building a Healthy Staff Culture

For many churches and teams, we learned this year the kind of culture we have in our churches and our staff. This was a good thing, but for many churches, also a hard thing to see. If you fall into the category of not liking what you learned, this might help you rebuild your staff culture in 2021.

When You’ve Been Betrayed in Leadership

If you’ve been in leadership any length of time, you’ve been betrayed. You’ve been hurt. 2020 hurt many leaders as we saw people leave our churches for reasons we never expected. Who saw a spiritual divide coming over masks and online church, but here we are. If you have felt betrayed or hurt in 2020, this post is for you.

Relationships in Quarantine – Kindness

Just like the crisis’s of 2020 revealed things in our churches, they also revealed things in our relationships and marriages worldwide. I joked with our kids that they need to marry someone they could quarantine with for months on end. But in the midst of quarantine and life in covid, kindness is still a crucial piece of relationships and something every relationship needs.

5 Thoughts from Moderating a Conversation on Race

One of the most difficult parts of 2020 is seeing the racial divide in our country continue, bu9t one of my favorites parts of 2020 was being able to speak into that at our church in one of our deeper dives (if you missed it, you could watch it here). In this post, I share 5 things I learned from that night. The deeper dive is one of my favorite things to do at our church, and we had some great ones this year. You can see them here. And stay tuned for some great deeper dives coming up in 2021!

Three Things to do Right Now to Strengthen Your Church

Yes, 2020 has eaten our lunches. Yes, leadership is hard. Yes, church ministry is changing, and we aren’t sure what it will look like in 2021 and beyond. But there are some things you can do to prepare and enter that new season stronger.

One Tweak that Took my Preaching to a New Level

I’ve learned a lot about leadership and preaching in my new role at our church, but this lesson, this tweak, took my preaching to a level it has never been at before.

Relationships in Quarantine – How we Destroy Relationships

Relationships are hard but add quarantine into the mix, and it can be even more difficult. And in this time of the year, we can destroy relationships without even realizing it.

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Preaching & the Future of the Church

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A lot has been written about the future and the church in this covid world and what church attendance and engagement will look like in the future.

I think a big part of that and where that ends up will be connected to preaching. And for many of us, for the time being (and a lot longer), that will include preaching to a camera, whether in empty or half-filled rooms or with people watching online.

Pastors know this, but preaching is the rudder of the ship, so to speak, when it comes to church. It is the driver in terms of setting the vision and direction for the whole church. It is the place where we have the most connection and engagement with the biggest group of people.

But, in a post-covid world, that looks a little different than it did in 2019.

But how?

I think some important shifts have happened that preachers need to be aware of.

5 important shifts to preaching in the future.

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1. Focus matters more than time. Any book or blog on preaching or communication will have something about the length of a sermon. Yes, attention spans are shorter today than decades ago. But people are still listening to 3-4 hour podcasts every week, so there is an argument to be made that you can go long.

That isn’t my goal today.

My goal is to make this point: Focus matters more than time. You can have a great sermon that is focused and go for 45 minutes and have a terrible one all over the place, and it is 12 minutes. Time isn’t the factor. It is a factor, but the most important factor over time is the focus of a message.

Is your sermon simple, clear, focused? Does it grab people’s emotions and their minds? Can they walk out with any tangible steps? Do you have a memorable line?

As sermons begin to live longer and people access them in various ways, the focus will need to rise higher than it has in the past. The reality is people will be watching more in homes and listening in their cars.

Focus matters more than the length of time in preaching.

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2. Marry Sunday with the rest of the week. A lot of debate has happened over the years about how much of a sermon should be applied. That isn’t the point of this article.

The point here is how applicable is what you say to the other 6 days of the week, especially because many people will be watching your sermon and engaging with it on a Tuesday night.

I think a big part of the future of the church will have to do with how we equip people to live on mission in their daily lives. Our sermons and content must help people in their relationships, as parents, and as employees and bosses.

How applicable is your preaching?

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3. Helpful content will rule the day. If you scroll through your timeline on any social media channel, there’s a good chance it looks like mine: Lots of yelling.

But the content that will remain and will be the most viewed, I think, will be the content that is the most helpful.

Here’s why this matters for pastors. When our content is helpful, it causes us to think of the people who view it and the struggles they are having. It helps us to see ourselves as servants instead of rock stars. It also helps to take the spotlight off of our church or us and see how we can be, in the words of Donald Miller, a guide to those who are listening.

Helpful content is the most sharable content.

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4. People are longing for meaning. This is connected to #2 but is really important for the future of preaching.

I believe many people will come out of covid with a renewed desire for their lives to matter and make a difference. If 2020 has taught us anything, it has taught us how short life actually is and how we can’t take any day for granted. As communicators and content creators, we can’t miss out on this because the Bible has a lot to say about meaning and our search for it and where to find meaning that lasts.

In a post-covid world, people will be looking more for meaning in their lives.

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5. People are still looking for hope and help. Right now, many people feel hopeless and stuck. If pastors are honest with themselves, many of them do as well.

But this is a great opportunity for churches because we have the hope and help of Jesus.

Each week, each message or video that is created and shared asks: Did I give hope? Did I show where to find help?

I think if we can do that in our messages, people will listen. It will rise above the noise around us. People are more likely to share something that has brought them hope and help. This is why we recommend any book or podcast, or blog to someone.

I think this is also a great grid for us to use when it comes to the messages we preach and the content we create.

5 things pastors need to remember about preaching.

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My Favorite Novels of 2020 + a Bonus

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This felt like the year of books and Netflix. What else were we supposed to do with quarantine?! I didn’t read more than I normally do, but as you’ll see from my list of favorite books this year, I read different books than I normally do. I read more novels, more history, and more books about the inner life and emotional health than leadership and ministry books.

In fact, I normally make my list as one post, but because I read so many novels and history books this year, I felt like they needed their own post. Stay tuned for my list of leadership, ministry, and soul/spiritual growth books.

Here are my favorite “fun” books:

5.The spy & the traitor. I knew very little about the cold war, but this story grabbed me, and I could not stop reading this one. Macintyre is a great writer, diving into what happened in the minds of the people.

4. The Order. Daniel Silva is still my favorite novelist, and this book shows why. I love this series, and it just keeps getting better. I’m pretty sure I read this book in two nights!

3. End of Days: The Assassination of John F. Kennedy. This was a fascinating real telling of the events surrounding JFK’s death. I love how good people are getting at telling the stories of history.

2. War Lord. The Last Kingdom series has become a favorite of mine over the last couple of years. I was excited about the final book but also nervous about it would end. Because let’s face it, it is hard to end a TV show or book series. I was not disappointed with this one.

1. Devil in the White City. I also read Larson’s book The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family, and Defiance During the Blitz as well this year. Both were good, but this one was hard to put down. I know I am late to the party on this one, but wow. 

To see my list of favorite books from past years, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, and 2019. I loved looking back through the books I read this year as it helps me see where I’ve grown, what God has taken me, my family, and our church through. If you’re curious about the books I read this year, you can check this out.

And for those of you who read all the way to here, as a bonus, here are my favorite shows that Katie and I watched this year (in no particular order):

  • Queen’s Gambit
  • Ted Lasso
  • Tehran
  • The Crown
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7 Things a Church Does

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If you were to ask 10 people at your church what the church is supposed to do or why it exists, you would probably get 10 different answers. This confusion leads to frustration for leaders, it causes people to wonder if the church is worth the time and effort, and ultimately, it keeps the church from being all she could be.

Yet, in places like Matthew 28:18 – 20 and Acts 1:8, we have been given a picture of how the church functions and what it should do.

There is an incredible passage in Acts 2 that I preached on recently that lays out what the church did after Jesus returned to heaven, and the Holy Spirit came upon them.

So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. -Acts 2:41 – 47

Imagine, in one day, the church exploded. God’s kingdom broke into the city of Jerusalem powerfully.

But what does this tell us about our churches for today?

7 things every church should do and be known for.

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1. Expect something to happen. On the first day the church launched, 3,000 people were saved and baptized. There was an expectation that when Jesus gave his mission to the disciples (Acts 1:8) and said the Holy Spirit would come to help them accomplish it, they expected that to be true and to happen.

They expected that when they showed up, that God would show up. That when they prayed, God would answer. That when they followed after God, they would partner with God in what He is doing.

When you show up at church, you should expect God to be active.

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Too often, when we open our bible, go to our small group, or show up at church, we have no expectation of God meeting us, speaking to us, or saving anyone.

What if that changed? What if we expected and looked for God to move?

2. They were devoted to teaching. The word devoted means constant, given over to or a large part of what someone does. The church in Acts devoted themselves to what the apostles taught them; the apostles were those who saw the risen Jesus, many who had walked with him, and heard his teachings on the kingdom of God. 

For us today, this means that we need to devote ourselves to what the Bible says. Not what we’d like it to say, but what it says. We need to allow it to shape who we are and who we are becoming.

3. Eat together. Our culture does not slow, sit down, and enjoy a long meal with friends and family. We don’t often open up our homes to each other to be hospitable and welcoming, yet this is one of the early church’s defining characteristics. Jesus spent so much time in the gospels eating and partying with people that it is astounding more Christians don’t associate that with the mission of Jesus. Yet this is one of the simple ways community is built, and a church is seen.

This church was devoted to each other, spent time together in the temple and homes, worshiping and eating together and praying together.

Followers of Jesus regularly eat meals with other followers of Jesus.

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4. They prayed together, and awe came over them. There was a sense of wonder in this church. This idea of “I can’t believe I get to be a part of this and see what God is doing.” What if that was the sense we had when we were part of a church? Being blown away by the move of God.

There were miracles, which can be anything from a changed life, marriages being saved, people not believing lies and battling the idols of their heart, or moving deeper into the community instead of living in isolation.

5. They had all things in common. A common belief in the mission is pulling the rope in the same direction, not being divisive. Making sure everyone in your community has what they need. While some have more than others, those who have more are generous, so those with fewer needs are met.

6. They met regularly. They did life together. This is not a one time a week event; this is a daily exercise of being in each other’s lives. Eating together, playing, working at the same place, having play dates, going on vacation, watching football, sitting around campfires. Sharing life. This is the longing of all people, to stop being in isolation and be known, and this church did this, day by day, the text says.

If the church is a one time a week event to you, you’re missing out.

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7. They had favor with all people. Reading this last verse is kind of astounding in our culture. What’s interesting is that the first century was just as hostile to the message of Jesus as our culture (just read Romans and 1 Corinthians). In their love for each other, their city, their welcoming of strangers (yet still submitting to the teaching of the Scripture and the apostles teaching), they had favor with people. This is how we know the church has gotten off track in our world. People outside the church should look at the church and think, “I may disagree with them, but I like them. They are kind, generous, loving. They are good neighbors, co-workers, and bosses. They are hospitable, opening their homes to people, not bashing people on social media.” Instead, Christians are seen as hateful, mean, arrogant, and spiteful.

The church should have favor with all the people.

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They were part of the gathered church, hearing the word of God preached, worshiping through song and prayer, and then scattering to live out that preached message in daily life.

The result? God added to their number daily.

This is the goal and prayer of the church.

Imagine, every day, a new person began a relationship with Jesus! I’d love to see 365 people a year begin a relationship because of coming into contact with every church, including mine.

I believe this can and will happen when we are the church each day.

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Relaunching Your Church

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As churches across America (and the world) begin to regather and move towards a hybrid model, pastors & teams try to figure out what that looks like. The difficulty for churches is that this crisis sped up the trends that were already unfolding in faith and church culture.

In many ways, this reminds me a lot of what it was like to plant a church. You don’t know how many people will come back, who will come back, or even what it will look like when they show up. The nervousness a church planter feels as he leads his team to set up and tear down, pass out invite cards, and spread the word, describes a lot of what pastors are feeling right now. What makes this even more complicated, though, is how weary pastors are right now.

Before we get to the ideas and questions, pastors, please care for your soul. Take the time to refill your own heart so that you can lead with your whole self. Take some time to mourn the losses that you have experienced personally and as a leader in this season. Don’t just rush into things, but make sure you take time to breathe.

So, as you regather and move into a new normal, here are some ideas and questions to be asking:

1. Who are we trying to reach? This is church 101, but it is easy to forget. Many churches say they are trying to reach everyone, which is true, but we reach a particular person along the way. Some churches proclaim loudly who they are trying to reach, and others are more subtle about it. That is a leadership perspective, but the point is, your team needs to know who you are best suited to reach as a church.

This becomes even more important as church changes into this hybrid world of digital and physical, and resources are stretched, and staff roles are reallocated.

In a post-covid world, who you are trying to reach?

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Here are a few reasons this matters:

  • As you communicate as a church through email, stories, social media, video content, etc. Your target determines what is in those communication pieces. If it is young families, you will highlight kids and student content. If it is empty-nesters, that will change.
  • Your target can also determine which platforms you spend more time on and focus on. Different age groups use different platforms for content and connecting.
  • It will determine your teaching calendar and video content and how you deliver that content.
  • Your target, their political leanings, and worldview (what matters to them in covid and a post-covid world) could have an impact on when you reopen and what that looks like.
Questions to ask as your church regathers.

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2. Clarify your engagement and formation pathways. This idea came from the book Intentional Churches: How Implementing an Operating System Clarifies Vision, Improves Decision-Making, and Stimulates Growth; in it, the authors make the point that a church’s engagement pathway is different from its formation or discipleship pathway.

Yes, these pathways are deeply connected, but in this new world, we must clarify these.

Your engagement and discipleship pathways are not the same.

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Think for a moment; what do you do as a church that engages people? Where people engage with your church? You can list those things out. While some of those things form people, many of them are simply about engaging with them. That’s okay. Clarify that as a team.

In many churches, we have taken all of these paths and made them one thing. In a digital or hybrid world, I think it has revealed for some churches that it either doesn’t work or is very confusing.

3. How do you truly form people? Spiritual formation & discipleship have always been important, but it is becoming more important in this new world. As one pastor recently pointed out, one of the big shifts in the future is from attendance and buildings to engagement and formation.  One thing that covid has shown us is that many churches have not formed their people well.

To form your people, you must clarify what a follower of Jesus is being formed in the way of Jesus looks like and then move towards that. Rich Villodas’s new book The Deeply Formed Life: Five Transformative Values to Root Us in the Way of Jesus is a great picture of what that might look like for churches moving forward. 

Ideas to work through as a church staff as your church regathers.

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4. What things do you need to start or stop doing? This is a transition point in our world and a great opportunity to ask, based on where we are and where we are headed, to ask what you need to start doing or stop doing.

Everything you did as a church pre-covid doesn’t need to continue. A disruption like we have experienced is a great opportunity to ask what is next, what is working, what is not working, what is not clear for your church, and then move forward.

In the end, this moment is a great opportunity to dream as a leader, to ask God what is next, and to forge a new or renewed path as a church.

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The Heart of Christ for You and Me

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One of my favorite books I read this year was Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund. The whole book oozes with gospel goodness. I read it during a tough season (hello 2020!) and found myself so encouraged by it and drawn to a deeper view of who God is and his heart for me. 

If you haven’t already, you should read the book.

If you’re still on the fence or need some encouragement today, here are my 16 favorite quotes from the book:

  1. The posture most natural to Jesus is not a pointed finger but open arms.
  2. Matthew 11:28 tells us explicitly who qualifies for fellowship with Jesus: “all who labor and are heavy laden.” You don’t need to unburden or collect yourself and then come to Jesus. Your very burden is what qualifies you to come.
  3. If we are asked to say only one thing about who Jesus is, we would be honoring Jesus’s own teaching if our answer is gentle and lowly.
  4. What elicits tenderness from Jesus is not the severity of the sin but whether the sinner comes to him.
  5. In the biblical gospel, we are not given a thing; we are given a person.
  6. When we sin, the very heart of Christ is drawn out to us.
  7. Seeing God’s greatness is not our deepest need, but seeing his goodness.
  8. When we come to Christ, we are startled by the beauty of his welcoming heart. The surprise is itself what draws us in.
  9. In Jesus Christ, we are given a friend who will always enjoy rather than refuse our presence.
  10. The Spirit causes us actually to feel Christ’s heart for us.
  11. The label “Father of mercies” is the Bible’s way of taking us into the deepest recesses of who God the Father is.
  12. We tend to project our natural expectations about who God is onto him instead of fighting to let the Bible surprise us into what God himself says.
  13. Repent of your small thoughts of God’s heart. Repent and let him love you.
  14. God is not poor in mercy. He is rich in mercy.
  15. Nowhere else in the Bible is God described as rich in anything. The only thing he is called rich in is mercy. What does this mean? It means that God is something other than what we naturally believe him to be. It means the Christian life is a lifelong shedding of tepid thoughts of the goodness of God.
  16. There are two ways to live the Christian life. You can live it either for the heart of Christ or from the heart of Christ. You can live for the smile of God or from it.
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How to Dream [Again]

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Dream Big text

One of the hardest things to do when you face disappointments in life is to dream again. And if we’re honest, 2020 has been a dream killer, a year of setbacks, letdowns, and disappointments. There are unmet expectations everywhere. This past Sunday, I preached on how to face those disappointments and setbacks and dreams again. Maybe you are in that place where it is hard to dream. You are just trying to make it through the day, and how do you even know if your dreams will come true. Here’s my encouragement, check out the sermon, and then take some time to get curious and dream again (if you’d like a really creative version of this that our incredible team put together, go here to download it). I believe that God will meet you there and help you move forward with what he puts on your heart. 

In his book Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It, Bob Goff lays out some helpful questions to help us dream.

  1. Who are you?
  2. Where are you?
  3. What do you want?

I want to encourage you as you go through this exercise to write things out and dream. We edit our dreams too quickly and miss out on what God has for us. So before you ask ‘how’ questions, take some time to pray and dream. 

We’ll get to the editing and how questions at the end. Right now, it is important to dream, to write, to let your mind wander. As children, we are good at this, but the older we get, it is easy to limit ourselves. Limiting ourselves is how we end up with regrets, disappointments, and cynicism. More than likely, if you’re like most people when it comes to dreams, reality thinking isn’t the problem. It is dreaming that is the struggle. 

Broken Dreams

Before we get to dreams, let’s take a look at our broken dreams. Many of us get stuck in life, and rightfully so because we dreamed and nothing happened. We went after a goal, a hope, a dream, only to have it shattered. Our lives get shattered by the actions of others, and this keeps us where we are.

Larry Crabb has some helpful insight on this: Shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story. The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. They are ordained opportunities for the Spirit to awaken, then to satisfy our highest dream.

Don’t just speed through those dreams or that season. What is the Holy Spirit doing in you from those dreams? What is God showing you? Growing in you for His purposes?

Now, if you’re ready to take that step and dream again, read on…

Who are you?

What makes you, you? This is about getting an understanding of your story. What makes you tick? What makes you unique?

All of us have different gifts, personalities, talents, ambitions, and histories. God doesn’t waste any of those. If you grew up in a broken home or grew up in poverty, that has an enormous impact on what God might want to do in your life and future. 

Take some time to write down moments that have impacted your life—both high and low. 

Ask God, what does that say about me? My story? Is there anything on that list you want me to pay attention to? Were there any limiting beliefs in your family growing up? Anything in particular from your family story that you need to pay attention to?

Here are a few other questions that might jog some ideas: What are your strengths, gifts, and things you are good at? How has God uniquely wired you so that you can contribute something special? What do you do without having to think? What do people ask you for advice in or seek out your help with?

Where are you?

This is more about your stage in life than your geography, although geography does matter when it comes to dreams. 

What is your life stage? Did you make a big change in your life: marriage, children, retirement, new job, new school, or new house. Are you about to make a big change in life? Or maybe you would like to make a big change in life. These are important to the stage you are in. 

I’m a dad of 5 kids, two of who are teenagers, so there are dreams I have today that aren’t for right now. That’s okay. This isn’t about limiting yourself or your dreams, but having an honest assessment of who you are and where you are. Just because we can’t do something today doesn’t mean we can never do that thing. It just means, today may not be the time. 

So, be honest: where are you in life? 

What do you want?

Even though we love the idea of dreams, it can be difficult to attach words to them. But list out what do you want in life. What do you want to be known for? What things do you want people to say about you at your funeral? What stories do you want people to tell about you? Do you want to travel somewhere? Do something you’ve never tried before? What legacy do you want to leave in your life? Recently I heard a pastor in his 80’s say, “More people need to ask, ‘What kind of old person do I want to be?’” That really struck me and has caused my wife and me to think differently about our lives and dreams. 

If it helps to think backward, write out where you hope to be in 5 years. For many of us, we have put this on hold this year because of how hard it has been, but this is a moment to take that back and dream again. 

Don’t edit this yet. Don’t start to “how” your list and try to figure out how you’ll get there or get it done. Just list it out. 

Now What?

Take a moment to look at what you’ve written down. Bring those things before God in prayer. Ask him what things he truly wants you to focus on this week, this month, this year, or in the next decade. Not everything on your list is for now, and that’s okay. Dreams don’t always happen fast. 

Depending on your personality, you might look at your list and see some impossible things, that is great. Continue asking God for his help. Maybe you see some overwhelming or scary things, continue bringing those before God, and ask him for courage and guidance. Ask this person to pray with you as you move forward with your dreams. 

Let me give one helpful insight: The dreams that help people, that are meaningful to you and others, that line up with your personal values, those are the ones that will draw the best out of us. Whether 1 person knows, we accomplished it or a thousand. Those numbers aren’t important. 

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One Tweak that Took my Preaching to a New Level

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One of my favorite parts of being a pastor is opening up God’s word and preach. To see how God changes people, how He moves them along in their spiritual journeys, and when people have that aha moment of clarity from a sermon.

It is incredible.

Over the years, I have always tried to improve my preaching, but my preaching has gone to a new level in the last year.

And I believe a big part of that is because of the teaching process we have at Pantano.

I didn’t create this, but have greatly benefited and thought I’d share what we do.

The preaching process at our church.

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Like most churches, we plan our teaching calendar out a year in advance. So in August of 2019, we laid out our 2020 calendar of series, topics, speakers, etc. Heading into 2021, because of what 2020 has taught us, we will only plan the first 6 months, so it gives us a shorter runway of topics.

Once the series is laid out, each series is assigned a creator. This creator lays out the passages, the main idea, and the next steps. While these will often get changed by the team, it is a launching off point. The goal is to hand the creative team and the teaching team a roughly half done series.

This all happens 10 – 12 weeks before a series is taught. So the creative team can begin working on stories, videos, and other elements.

The importance of planning your preaching.

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At this point, the teachers have what they are doing, and so does the rest of the team.

13 days before a sermon is taught, the notes are handed to the teacher’s teaching team for them to be reviewed. This team is made of men and women, all ages and personalities. This team is looking for inconsitencies, places where the teacher didn’t go deep enough or far enough or went too deep into the weeds. This team helps to make sure the sermon makes sense, has a good flow, enough personal stories in it, and makes sure that we speak to each person in our church, to the best of our ability.

This team has saved me many times.

Once the teacher has feedback and this team has about a week to give it, they go back to work, going through the comments on a google doc.

How my preaching went to a new level.

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Then, on the Thursday before teaching, we do a live run-through for our teaching and creative team.

No matter who you are, everyone does it live.

At first, this can feel really awkward because you roll into the room and go. But as we have seen in covid, many of us ended up doing this anyway.

For a communicator, this is one of the best things you can do for your preaching.

Why?

You get the feel of a joke; you get the feel of a story. You can work on your eye contact in the room and as it relates to a camera. The team can give feedback on how things feel, how vulnerable you are if you need more information in a section, or how clear your main idea and the next steps are.

Then, the week after, we give feedback to the speaker for how Sunday went.

The importance of feedback in your preaching.

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Is this a lot? Yes. Has this been worth it? Yes.