Posted on

The Problem of Tasks Not Getting Done

by

Teresa Amabile, a professor at Harvard who researches creativity in business found, “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.”

The single most important thing for your day is making progress in meaningful work.”-Teresa Amabile

Click To Tweet

This makes sense.

It is why we love checklists, crossing things off and that feeling of a “zero inbox.”

For many of us though, depending on what you do, this is difficult.

If you are a stay at home mom, making progress on meaningful work is challenging as laundry and dishes pile up.

If you are creative, there is always one more tweak to the design, one more thing to check out.

As a pastor, everything I do is meaningful as it relates to people and sermons (or creating content).

How to get things done.

Click To Tweet

The problem is that you can spend 6 – 8 hours working on a sermon and only have read some commentaries and things are fuzzy in your mind.

For many of us, the day ends with a feeling of “incomplete.” We look back and think, “I know I sent out emails, had conversations, sat in meetings, but what did I accomplish?”

We look back on our day and think, “I know I sent out emails, had conversations, sat in meetings, but what did I accomplish?

Click To Tweet

One of the things that have helped me is setting up benchmarks around my tasks and goals.

For example, if you have 50 unread emails, make a goal of getting through 25 of them.

For a sermon, instead of making my only goal completing the sermon (which every pastor knows isn’t done until you preach it), make a goal of reading X number of commentaries, clarifying your big idea, working out your introduction or conclusion.

How to break goals into smaller steps.

Click To Tweet

Doing this helps you see significant movement on your tasks.

Posted on

The Addiction of Being Busy

by

There is an addiction in our culture to being busy, to not overloading our schedules.

Some of this comes from personalities, saying we want our kids to have things we didn’t have, but many of us are afraid to miss out.

We are also afraid of the silence and stillness that comes from unaccounted for moments.

We afraid of the silence and stillness that comes from unaccounted for moments.

Click To Tweet

Many of us are too busy, running from work, kids games and practices, church programs, exercise, eating in the car, etc. I will often hear people say, “I’d like to do ______________ (usually something that would enrich their marriage, health or relationship with God) but I just don’t have the time.” The reality is, we don’t have the time because we don’t make the time.

We don’t have the time because we don’t make the time.

Click To Tweet

But why are we busy? Many of us are busy, work too much, run from activity to activity because we don’t want to stop. We don’t want to be with our family, spouse, alone with ourselves, with friends, whatever because we don’t want to stop. We are addicted to the adrenaline that comes from being busy.

This is a big one: we also don’t want to slow down because of what we will have to do if we slow down.

We don’t want to slow down because of what we will have to do if we slow down.

Click To Tweet

It is easier to stay busy at work or run kids to different things than being honest with your spouse, working on issues in your heart or dealing with past hurts. Many people overwork because of the accolades they get from it. This often stems from an approval idol in their hearts. They didn’t get approval from a coach, parent or teacher at a young age, so they will try to get that approval from someone else now.

We are busy for more power, prestige, control, you name it. Pastors overwork so their church will love them, compliment them, so their church will grow. Mostly Godly reasons, but at the end of the day it is often to feed the idol in their heart.

We also tell ourselves things like, “this is just a season.” But slowly one season becomes another which becomes another.

In the long run, we think we are running after the right life, but we are missing the life right in front of us.

Posted on

The Tension of Leadership

by

Leaders live in two worlds:  the one of reality, where their church or organization is, and the other is the one that is not yet, the world they are moving towards as a church.

The two worlds of leaders.

Click To Tweet

To lead well, leaders must live where their churches are, and they must lead them to where they are going. Which means they must have a firm grasp on reality and the present, as well as where they are going. Too many pastors seem to coast into the future, not sure where they are going, not sure how they will get there.

It is easy to spend too much time in either the present or the future and miss out. You can get too far ahead of your church which means you will have a difficult time getting into the future. You can spend too much time in the present and not see a vision for where you are going and get stuck in the details of just doing church.

It is a balance. It is the tension of leadership.

Many times pastors can lead churches that no longer exist. If a church grew at one point and reached 500 but has now dropped down to 150 on a Sunday, many pastors will continue as if that church is 500.

But the church has changed now.

The reality that pastors must walk with, especially because many people in their church will think their church is still what it was.

It is crucial for a leader to pull back and get “on the balcony” of their church to see what is going on and understand where they are and where they need to go.

Posted on

5 Tips for Preaching a Great Christmas Sermon

by

Thanksgiving is over, it’s almost Christmas, which means if you’re a pastor, you are working on your Christmas message.

Many pastors make the mistake of waiting too long to work on their message, trying to be too creative or just not being creative at all, to the point they’re boring.

If you’ve been in ministry for any length of time, you’ve given many Christmas sermons and series. It is hard to continue to come up with fresh material, to surprise your people or say something unexpected.

I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. I wonder if we need to “surprise” our people with something unexpected.

But this Christmas, you will have people who will walk through your door who have never been to your church (or any church). You will have men and women, boys and girls who walk through your door who are giving God one last shot. People who are skeptical, hurting, doubting, wondering if there is a God in the universe who loves and cares for them.

I say all that because there is a lot at stake at Christmas.

Christmas is the time of year where depression and anxiety reach its peak. Divorce rates double over Christmas. Please, please, please, keep these numbers, stories, and faces in front of you as you preach this Christmas.

Ready?

5 Tips for Preaching a Great Christmas Sermon

Click To Tweet

Here are a few tips as you prepare and preach a great Christmas sermon:

Before we get to the preaching, just a quick pro tip!

1. Dress appropriately. It is incredible this still has to be said, but no matter where your church is, people tend to dress up on Christmas. People are out as families; people are meeting potential in-laws for the first time (hoping to make a great first impression), families and friends will take pictures together. So dress appropriately. Also, dress comfortably. There is nothing worse than speaking in the wrong outfit. There is also nothing worse than watching someone in a suit too big (or too small) or pulling at their collar because it is tight so make sure that whatever you’re going to wear matches, is Christmas-y and fits!

Now for more of the how-tos of preaching.

2. Understand the pain and baggage people bring with them. When people walk into your church each week, they walk in with a story, a story filled with hopes, dreams, hurt and pain. Christmas has a way of magnifying our stories.

Christmas has a way of magnifying our stories.

Click To Tweet

Arguments that are decades old will come up, broken relationships, divorces, abuse. They will sit at tables with empty seats because of those broken relationships, bad decisions or death.

Many of the people that will sit in your church and mine did everything they could to get to your Christmas Eve service and hold it together. They are stressed, run down, tired, partied out, wondering if their kids are thankful, wondering if they will fail Christmas with their family, worrying about the next year and what it will bring.

They need a moment to catch their breath; to know you hear them; to know God hears them.

3. Tell the Christmas story. Let’s be honest; as a pastor, the Christmas story can be hard because you know it, other people know it, which makes it difficult to keep it fresh and relevant.

The Christmas story is about hope.

And right now in our world, if there’s something that people need it is hope.

If you take what I said in #2 seriously, you should be able to come up with a whole host of ways to bring hope into peoples lives.

One of the struggles I’ve had is that people walk in expecting the Christmas story and I want to surprise them. The reality is, it’s Christmas. So talk about Christmas.

4. Surprise people with the Christmas story. Going along with the previous point, there are so many ways to surprise people and tell them something about Christmas that is unexpected or they didn’t see.

You could talk about doubts people have, the importance of names and stories by walking through a genealogy, talk about God’s presence with us.

The list goes on and on.

One exercise that might be helpful is to make a list of all the questions people have about Christmas and baggage they are carrying in. Then make a list of all the things we learn about God through Christmas.

This exercise should give you years worth of Christmas sermons and series.

5. Be brief and to the point. Lastly, be brief.

While people came to church, they don’t want to spend the holiday at church.

My Christmas message is often the shortest one of the entire year.

That’s okay. People will forgive you. Your volunteers will thank you.

Remember, this sermon is just part of the marathon of your preaching ministry, not the end of it.

5 Tips for Preaching a Great Christmas Sermon

Click To Tweet

Posted on

Is God’s Will a Mystery or Obvious?

by

When it comes to figuring out God’s will, we often make it incredibly difficult to figure out. We talk about it in mystical ways, heightening the sense that only a few find it. We wonder, does God have a specific will for my life? What if I miss it?

Does God have a specific will for your life?

Click To Tweet

This happens with marriage; is there the one for me and what if I marry the wrong one?

If there’s an open door, is that God’s will? If it’s a closed door, is that God way of saying no?

We also look at people in the Bible, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Paul and see people that God used in incredible ways, but also people that God spoke to audibly and laid out his will. We see Noah getting the measurements of the ark. Abraham and Moses are told where to go. Does God still do that?

For us, we have something they didn’t have. God’s will written out in the form of God’s word. We have God’s inspired, authoritative word. Over 31,000 words that God has given to us and preserved to show us how life is to be lived.

This means a few things. I don’t think we will find a laid out plan for every aspect of our life. God will not give us all the details. What he does do is give us a framework in which to live by and make decisions.

Most people when they make decisions set out the pros and cons of a choice and then choose the way that has the most pros or the least annoying or uncomfortable cons. What if we thought about it differently? What if we looked at the framework God has given us in Scripture and asked, “Will this choice get me to where God wants me or will it hinder me?” Sometimes, the choice with the most cons will get us there.

Here are a few clues to the framework:

  • Marriage: God has told us in Ephesians 5 and Genesis 1 – 2 that there are specific roles for marriage. Men are to lead their wives and families lovingly. They are to pastor them. They are to lay their lives down as Jesus did. They are to exhibit servant leadership. God has given them responsibility and accountability for their families. Wives are to respond to their husband’s leadership and submit to them. They are to be their partners in life, their helpers, giving pushback when needed. This doesn’t mean a wife is a robot or a doormat. The Holy Spirit is called “the helper” so I don’t think this is a negative thing as we speak of it.
  • Money: Malachi 3 and 2 Corinthians 8 – 9 tells us to steward the money and possessions God entrusts to us well. We are to honor God by giving back to him a portion of what he has entrusted to us. That portion is to be sacrificial, generous, worshipful and proportional. This means we need to set this aside first and then live within the means of what is left.
  • Work: We are to work and rest. We are to live in rhythm. If we are married, 1 Timothy 5 says that a man is responsible for providing for his family, that if he doesn’t, he is worse than an unbeliever. This means we need to live within the means of what we make. Our identity is not found in our work, but our work is one way we glorify God and show what He is like through our faithful, hard work.
  • Mission: Matthew 28, Acts 1 and scores of other places that we are to live on mission. That the gospel should change us in such a way that we live our lives with the purpose of moving the gospel forward in the world in which we live. That we should live lives that are different. If you live out the passages mentioned above, do you think your life will look different from those around you?

I could go on and on. My point is that God has laid out what it means to be a follower of his, what it means to live in the freedom of the gospel, what a man, woman, dad, mom, husband, wife, child, boss, employee. What it means to date, to work, to pray, to eat, to sleep.

I believe that if we lived out what Scripture calls us to, we would find God’s will for our lives more easily and clearly.

Posted on

Links for Leaders 11/16/18

by

It’s the weekend…finally.

And since it’s the weekend, it’s the perfect time to catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Recently, God has been teaching me a lot about grieving losses in life and leadership. All of us have experienced loss and come up against the limits in life, whether in a relationship, a dream, finances, health, but how we deal with them and move forward determines so much for us. Many of us get stuck. Recently, I came across a great quote that helped me understand this even more and what it takes to move forward.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts on my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Now, here’s what I found helpful:

Christmas is almost here, and I hope you are preparing for it as a church. Tony Morgan’s company has helped a lot of churches, and they have two posts you should read: 3 strategies to leverage Christmas for reaching new people and three next step ideas for annual Christmas attendees. Don’t miss the opportunity of Christmas!

We’ve adopted twice, and adoption is beautiful, challenging, amazing and tragic all at once. Many times, you feel like you are fighting for the heart of your adopted child (or any child for that matter). This post from parent cue was so encouraging to me, and if you’re a parent (adoptive or not), I think it will encourage you.

I get asked a lot about the books I read and how I find good books. One way is to see what other leaders I respect are learning. Brian Dodd is always posting great books, and he lays out 19 books leaders should read ing 2019. I’ve read a few of these but look forward to diving into a few others on this list.

If you’re a pastor or been in church for any length of time, you know the drill at church, so it is easy to forget what it feels like to be a guest. The emotions a guest has the fears, the thoughts. This post from Rich Birch was so helpful to me, and a great reminder of what people feel when they walk into your church on a Sunday morning.

The holidays are almost here (I can’t believe that Thanksgiving is next week!), so it is important to decide as a family, individual, couple, what pace you will keep over the next month so that you aren’t too tired. Here are 10 great tips from parent cue.

Posted on

How to Talk About Money in Your Church

by

Many church leaders struggle with talking about money in their church or loathe the offering time. However, this fear can be alleviated by making a shift in their perspective about money. The topic of money is not about money per se. The Kingdom of God and helping people to live as disciples of Christ is the true aim of money. In the words of Peter Greer, “Money is a vehicle, not the ultimate objective.”

The reality for pastors is that money is important. It is needed when it comes to ministry and money is one of the biggest struggles and stresses of the people who sit in your church.

Many pastors this time of year (or after the new year) will talk on money in a sermon. Here are 5 things to keep in mind for the next time you preach on money:

5 things to keep in mind when you preach on money.

Click To Tweet

1. People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money. People come to your church to hear what the Bible has to say. They drove there, probably looked at your website, they drove past a sign that said church, so they are expecting for you to open the Bible and read it. I think people want to know what God thinks about a whole host of things, money included.

Why?

Because very few people have strong financial knowledge. There are so many takes on it, ideas on what you should do, how to get out of debt, where you should invest that it becomes overwhelming and then people stick their head in the sand. Telling them what the Bible has to say is incredibly helpful and refreshing to them because it says more than “you should give to the church.”

People genuinely are interested in what the Bible has to say on money.

Click To Tweet

As well, most couples are fighting over money. Most people are laying in bed at night stressing over money. Talking about it hits them where they live and answers some of their most burning questions.

2. Get your financial house in order. Many pastors don’t talk about money because many pastors aren’t generous and don’t give. Generosity doesn’t come easy for me but preaching on what the Bible has to say about money has convicted my heart to grow in it. If a pastor doesn’t preach on money, generosity or stewardship of finances, it is usually because he isn’t doing well in those areas personally and that will affect the life of a church. Generous churches are led by generous leaders.

Generous churches are led by generous leaders.

Click To Tweet

Be honest with your struggles if you have them. Talk about what you have learned and how God is continuing to grow you. People will resonate with that. Every time I talk about money I’ll hear people say over and over, “Thanks for being open about what is hard for you.”

3. Make sure you don’t make promises God doesn’t make. Especially with passages like Malachi 3, it is easy to make promises God doesn’t make when it comes to money. Is God faithful? Yes. Does God bless people financially when they give? Yes. Are there lots of rich people who don’t give? Yes. Are God’s blessings to us always financial reimbursement? No. This is the one area that a lot of damage has been done in terms of preaching on money.

4. Stewardship is more than money. While most pastors preach on money to get more people to give money, that isn’t the goal. The goal is to help people follow Jesus when it comes to stewardship and that includes money, but also includes how they use their time, house, car, retirement and steward their whole life.

Stewardship is more than money.

Click To Tweet

Make sure that when you talk about stewardship, you help people understand that God’s heart is for more than their bank account, but also their calendar, relationships, and heart.

5. Give clear and helpful next steps. You should have clear next step every week that you preach but with money, it is incredibly important. Whether that is doing a 90 day giving challenge, a financial class like FPU or something else. Don’t just leave people hanging on this. Especially because as I said on point 1, people want to know how to handle money.

5 things to do the next time you preach on money.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

When to Quit Something or Let it Ride

by

One of the critical jobs of every leader is problem-solving. The longer I’m a leader, the more I realize that much of my time as a leader is spent in brainstorming, making decisions or looking ahead to decisions that will be made in the future.

The struggle is that often, solving problems means taking very little information and making a decision based on that little information.

One thing that pastors seem to be notorious for is solving problems that aren’t problems. Something doesn’t go right, we start a new ministry, and no one shows up, a creative piece falls flat, a marketing tool does not bring in the people we thought, a new direction or vision is laid out, and no one is excited.

Are these problems? Potentially.

The problem is that we start to solve them before we know. One night of something not going right does not constitute a problem; it’s one night. We make changes and then when they don’t work once, we quickly make adjustments to them. Now, sometimes adjustments need to be made. Sometimes we can see things that we can tweak to make something better.

But often, we solve problems that are not problems. Let something ride a little bit before you decide it is a problem. Let it show itself a problem before fixing it. Many successes come from merely continuing down the path instead of giving up. In fact, we often quit something right before it breaks through.

Posted on

What You have to Give Up to Move Forward in Life & Relationships

by

I have a confession: I like control.

A lot.

I like to stack the odds in my favor in situations. I want to know the details of things, who will be there, what we’ll eat and do. For me, it is incredibly comforting. And it’s easy to do.

This desire though, while it can be helpful in certain situations, in others it can be destructive.

Especially in the areas of relationships.

Why?

I can’t control the outcome of them.

I can’t control what someone else will do or say.

I can’t change my spouse, friends, kids or co-workers.

Yes, I can do things to help, but I can’t change them.

For many of us, this desire for control hurts us.

Our desire for control will destroy our best relationships.

Click To Tweet

Now, before you think you are off the hook and aren’t into control, consider this.

We will control people with our silence, our passion, our drive, passive-aggressive comments, knowledge, anger, shaming, withholding, tears, anything to swing the situation into our favor.

Amazingly, it is easy to do.

And often, the people around us will let us because it is more comfortable than the alternative.

But, control not only destroys us, but it also destroys others.

To move forward in life, to start anything over or see something (or someone) flourish, we must give up control.

To move forward in life, to start anything over or someone flourish, we must give up control.

Click To Tweet

Why would we do this?

There is a sense of peace that awaits us that we will not experience in control mode.

Many spiritual practices in Scripture center around the battle for control: submission to authorities or in relationships, prayer, fasting, giving, Sabbath to name a few.

God knows that in our heart of hearts, we love control and will do anything to have it.

The adventure of faith is stepping into uncertainty and risk.

Letting go.

Posted on

When Someone Doesn’t Pull Their Weight at Work, Church or Home

by

One of the realities of leadership and relationships is that someone will always do more work than the other person. When you are the person who is taken advantage of it can be hurtful. When you are the person who is taking advantage, it doesn’t feel as bad.

For many, this can be devastating in a relationship or job. The closer a person is to us, the more hurtful it is.

As I preached through the book of Nehemiah this year, I was struck by a verse in chapter 3.

Verse 5 says: The nobles, the leaders, would not lift a finger. One translation says they wouldn’t put their shoulders to the work, another says, they refused to do the work.

This verse is telling. Not everyone will do the work; some will flat out refuse it. And either stay and watch and cause problems or they’ll leave.

If you’re a pastor, you’ve had this happen as you’ve watched leaders and people come and go to your church.

They will leave for doctrinal reasons, theological disagreements. Some will go because you use too much bible or not enough. Your sermons aren’t helpful enough, or they are also useful and not deep enough. People will leave because you won’t do their ministry idea, you aren’t meeting their needs, and the list goes on and on.

We had an elder leave our church because he wanted a church that was more about him and his needs. When this happens, it is crushing because one of the jobs of an elder is to lay aside their needs and preferences to lead for the good of the body. He told me since “Revolution targets men in there 20’s and 30’s and I’m older than that, so it doesn’t make sense to stay.”

That’s refusing to do the work.

I’ve watched it happen among church planters as they go through an assessment. When they don’t pass right away or hit snags, they can choose to do the work that lays ahead or look for a shortcut.

A leader sets aside their needs and desires for the good of others, the good of the vision.

Click To Tweet

When a leader burns out, they can choose to do the work to come back healthy and come back and lead, or they can say, “I won’t do the work.”

Why does this matter?

In the New Testament, obedience and sacrifice are linked.

In the New Testament, obedience and sacrifice are linked.

Click To Tweet

We are more interested in glory.

But that doesn’t come first and might not even happen in this life.

As Andy Stanley said, A vision worth pursuing will demand sacrifice and risk. You will be called upon to give up the actual good for the potential best.

I love what Karen Burnett said: If you decide that what God is asking you to do with your life is just too much on you and is just a little too inconvenient, then you will never see the miracles he has for you.

I want the miracles of God, every day. But rarely do I want any inconvenience. I want the reward that comes from obedience to Jesus, but not the sacrifice that that obedience will require.

Here’s a hard reality of life, church, family, and work.

Some will refuse to do the work. Some will refuse to be a part of the vision. Some will refuse to sacrifice like you will.

You will give more than others.

You will give more than your spouse.

You will give more than your kids.

You will give more than your boss.

You will give more than your pastor.

You will give more than your board members.

If you have a vision, at some point, you will be called upon to sacrifice something for that vision. That sacrifice might be time, money, hard work, failure.

It’s okay to grieve and be upset about people who don’t do what they say they’ll do. But we don’t stay there; we have to heal and move forward.

Some will do more work than others and work harder than others.

We’re told multiple times in Nehemiah 3 that some people did their section and then another.

Did they complain? I don’t know, but they started to work on another section because they were finished with theirs.

This is one of our church’s values, to take it personally.

They didn’t finish their section and said, well we’re done, let’s wait for them.

One of our values is seeing a problem or something that needs to be done here and jumping in.

Nehemiah wants us to know that not only do some people do more work, some work harder.