Posted on

Where is God when Life Gets Hard? (Daniel 1)

by

All of us at some point will walk into a situation we can’t control. It might be a relationship where the other person continues to make poor choices, and you are left cleaning up the mess. It might be a parent or a spouse that keeps hurting you but doesn’t seem to care. But it hurts, and you know it. It might be a financial crisis where it continues to be harder and harder to trust God. It might be a health issue, and you wonder why God doesn’t heal you, why God doesn’t take that pain away.

Why?

We cry out in the dark places of our lives and many times in the darkness; God feels silent. God feels distant.

And if you aren’t there today, you will be someday. We all find ourselves at the bottom of life wonder where is God when the bottom falls out?

The theme of the book of Daniel is how to trust God when life seems hopeless. That no matter what your present situation looks like, God is in control.

The book of Daniel is about how to trust God when life seems hopeless.

Click To Tweet

This theme is important for us because all of us at one time or another feel like life is out of control.

Daniel lived in 600 B.C., so over 2500 years ago. He was Jewish and was taken into exile to Babylon, the empire of the day.

King Nebuchadnezzar conquered the king of Judah and took some of the vessels from the house of God.

In ancient culture, removing vessels from the god of a nation was not only a victory over the people but also a sign of success over the god of those people.

But verse 2 of Daniel 1starts off, God gave the king of Judah into his hands.

The words, God gave, are crucial in Daniel 1.

But we might first ask, why would God do that? Why would He give them into their enemies hands?

Before the book of Daniel, in other old testament books we know that the people of Judah were sinning and through prophets, God continually warned them of the way they were going.

What is essential, is to know that God will give us our desires and sins. He will allow us to end up where we want to.

Many times, when our lives end up in dark places, it is through our sin or the sin of someone else.

This truth is hard for us to wrap our minds around, at least it is for me: that God is in control and we have freedom in our choices. And those choices, as we’ll see, have an impact on life. They determine outcomes.

Nebuchadnezzar then brings some of the youth to Babylon, which includes Daniel and his friends.

Some historians believe that Daniel and his friends were part of the royal family.

Why do this?

Nebuchadnezzar is bringing the best and the brightest with him. Notice scripture says, “without blemish, good appearance, skillful, competent.”

By doing this, Nebuchadnezzar is seeking to stop the growth of Judah and build up Babylon.

They are teaching them their culture, their language, their religion, their values, and customs.

They are changing their names.

Changing their names was also a sign of ownership over the prisoners.

Their new names were for Babylonian gods and cultural beliefs.

I want you to imagine the lowest point in your life. The moment when life felt the darkest, God felt the furthest away from you.

This low point is where Daniel and the people of Judah are.

But what is fascinating about the book of Daniel is that Daniel is writing it at the end of his life and it is only then, that he sees God’s hand.

So how does Daniel respond?

Through this darkness, Daniel and his friends seek to honor God.

They ask not to eat the king’s food.

Now, there are many reasons they could’ve asked for this, but we are not told all the reasons why they asked for it.

Were only told it would defile them.

Here’s what I find fascinating about this and I want to make this point as we think about living out our faith in our culture.

Daniel could’ve fought back on anything, the food, the teaching, the values, the religion, the changing of his name, but he doesn’t. He only chooses the food.

Daniel’s beliefs don’t change, his name does. He still holds to his faith in God as we’ll see in this book, but he is learning what they are teaching him.

But he takes a stand on the food.

Why? It went against who Daniel is and his core beliefs. Your core is what you decide on ahead of time, your values so that when you are faced with temptation or a decision, your heart makes it clear what you will do.

Here’s another point, Daniel did this privately. He talked to the chief eunuchs, not the king. According to Scripture, the king didn’t know.

Daniel teaches us that the struggle is not to make the culture Christian, but how a Christian can live in a hostile culture.

Every stand you take as a Christian doesn’t need to be public to matter. It might, but maybe it doesn’t need to be a public stand.

So, Daniel asked to be tested for ten days. This length of time is important because, throughout Scripture, 10 represents the testing of faithfulness.

And God blessed them through this testing.

We don’t want to believe or hear this: when we trust God, we are better after the testing.

If you read Daniel 1 straight through, you’ll see the phrase “God gave” three times.

In verse 2 God gave them to the Babylonians, in verse 9 God gave Daniel favor with the chief of the eunuchs, in verse 17 God gave them learning and skill.

Now, let’s be honest about this. We like the last 2 of those 3. God gave him favor and learning and skill to move up in Babylon.

But, God needed to give them to the Babylonians in exile for him to experience the other 2.

Larry Osborne said God is in control of who is in control.

God is in control of who is in control. -Larry Osborne

Click To Tweet

Now, this is easy to believe when life is going well. When your finances are sound, health is good; relationships are humming along, your career, parenting is simple. Of course, God is in control.

When you’re stuck in the storm, this is hard to swallow.

It is hard to hear that God blesses in the darkness of life and pain.

What is amazing is at the end of Daniel 1, Daniel lived a long life. He lived through two kings.

Daniel 1 is the hope we need to trust God in the dark places and place our faith in the power of God and what He is doing. Daniel shows us; we can trust God when life feels hopeless and out of control.

Posted on

How to Build a Life that Matters

by

All of us build our lives on something.

And that something is the thing that determines what our lives become. The people we become, the places we go and the impact that we make.

The problem for us, is many of us never stop to ask what we are building our lives on. We keep going, keep pursuing, keep moving, but we rarely question, “Am I building on the right thing? Do I like where I’m going with this life?”

What life are you building?

Click To Tweet

Joe Ehrmann, a former NFL player, in his TED talk said:

If you were on your deathbed today, knowing that you were doing to die tomorrow, and you wanted to measure what kind of man you were and what kind of success you had in life, it’d come down to two things and two things only.

The first is this: On that deathbed, you recognize that all of life is about relationships. It’s about the capacity to love and be loved. What’s it mean to be a man? It means you can look somebody in the eye and say “I love you” and receive that love back.

You know what the questions you ask at the end of your life are? They’re not about awards or achievements or applause or what you accumulated. They’re all questions of relationships. What kind of husband was I? Wife? What kind of father? Mother? What kind of son or daughter? What kind of friend? Who did I love and who did I allow to love me?

The second comes down to this: At the end of your life you want to be able to look back on your life and know that you made a difference. That you left some kind of mark, some kind of imprint that you were here. All of want to leave some kind of legacy behind.

You might choose family, kids, hobbies, career choices, vacations, and trips, or your 401K to build your life on.

What many of us find if we’re honest is, we overemphasize things that aren’t that important.

We overemphasize things that aren’t that important.

Click To Tweet

If we’re honest, most of us have more strategies on how to make a career than we do on how to build a life.

Most of us have more strategies on how to make a career than we do on how to build a life.

Click To Tweet

In Matthew 7 Jesus said,

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain fell, the rivers rose, and the winds blew and pounded that house. Yet it didn’t collapse, because its foundation was on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and doesn’t act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, the rivers rose, the winds blew and pounded that house, and it collapsed. It collapsed with a great crash.

What Jesus is getting at is a wholehearted devotion.

Jesus wants us to see the difference between merely saying something and doing something, between hearing and doing.

Jesus wants us to see the difference between hearing and doing.

Click To Tweet

To help us see, he compares two people who build a house. One on the rock, the other on the sand.

What is fascinating about both of these guys is they are both building a house, building a life.

You and I can build something, really anything.

Let’s say you and I each build a chair.

How will we know if that chair is done? If it is completed and will work?

By looking at it?

No, by sitting on it.

How do you know if a house is built and will last?

When a storm comes.

What happens when you get hit with a storm in life?

You see what matters to you. You look at the relationships you have invested in, you know the faith you have built or not built.

Right now, you might be in a storm. Your finances, marriage, career, maybe one or all of them is not where you thought it would be. Life is harder than you expected. Right now, my wife Katie and I feel like we are in a sprint that we didn’t stretch out for.

In those moments, those places, you find out what you built your life on. You find out what matters to you.

Think about it like this, have you ever experienced a storm in life and didn’t like what you learned about yourself at that moment?

I know I have.

All of us can know the words of Jesus, but belief is a different thing.

You can know something and not believe something.

Belief is not required to pass a test, just knowledge.

Dallas Willard said, “To believe something is to act as if it is so.”

To believe something is to act as if it is so. -Dallas Willard

Click To Tweet

Building your life on Jesus means that you do what Jesus would do if he were you. It means desiring that to be true of you, even when you miss it which you will.

Posted on

Links for Leaders 4/6/18

by

It’s the weekend…finally. Today is a special day as it is mine and Katie’s 16th anniversary! So that’s fun. We’re working on a post about some of the things we wished we would’ve known when we got married, so stay tuned for that.

We’re spending it with our 5 kids traveling to Pennsylvania for my grandmother’s memorial service. So we’d appreciate your prayers for that (and the people who have to sit next to us on the plane).

And since it’s the weekend, it’s the perfect time to catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts on my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Here are the posts I enjoyed:

It is easy to get tired as a leader or get stale, but staying fresh is important as a leader. Scott Cochrane shares 3 ideas to stay fresh and why it matters.

If you speak every week (or almost every week), understanding your audience is crucial.

Focus as a leader is crucial to success, but also incredibly difficult to have. Here are 8 ways to focus instead of multi-task as a leader. 

Inspiring people as a leader and a speaker is crucial and Kurt Bubna shares the secret to that.

Growth is crucial for a leader and a church or business and everyone desires growth, but many times we run into invisible barriers without realizing it. Here are 7 big barriers to church growth.

Posted on

The Frigid Marriage

by

Have you ever seen that couple that seems cold toward each other?

I know that there are times when you had a big fight on the way to a party or church, and you are feeling distant from your spouse.

I’m not talking about that.

I mean the couple that you feel the icicles coming off of. You can feel the darts shooting from their eyes towards their spouse.

That couple.

Can you picture them?

Were they always like that?

Chances are, no.

At one point, they were close. At some point, they laughed till it hurt, smiled at each other, finished each other sentences.

They also loved to pursue the other one, help the other one and serve them well.

But something happened.

It could be anything.

Sickness, difficulty with in-laws or kids, financial struggles, lost dreams, health issues.

Most of the time, couples get this way because they just stop trying. They stop putting forth the effort.

It’s easy to do.

You are older now, you are more tired, and your energy level wanes.

It could be because of kids, career, school; because they all take a lot of your time and energy.

What tends to happen in many relationships, the longer they go, the more work they take.

The reason for this is that the newness has worn off. What used to be effortless (easy), now takes effort.

The longer you are in a relationship, the more effort it will take.

What marks a frigid marriage from a healthy marriage is the difference between trust and suspicion.

In a frigid marriage, you assume the worst in someone. When they make a remark that is hurtful you think, “I know what they meant by that.” The problem is, they may not have meant that, but you heard that.

Why?

You feel far away.

Recovering from a frigid marriage, ironically, will take what it took when you first fell in love.

Time, energy and effort.

Posted on

Fulfill Your Calling [Be You]

by

Jealousy. Envy.

We all feel it.

We look at people in our field of work, we look at other parents, other athletes and wish we had what they had. We want someone else’s career, their platform, notoriety, success.

But do we?

Why is that such a big deal?

The longer I think about this and talk to leaders who are frustrated with their lack of perceived success, and it really boils down to a question of contentment in calling.

Everywhere you look, you will see people more successful than you.

Why?

I don’t know. Sometimes it is talent; sometimes it is because that leader worked harder, sometimes it has nothing to do with that.

What we often miss though is the work they put in that we don’t see.

We don’t see the sacrifices, heartache, pain, relational or emotional or physical loss.

When a pastor sees a megachurch pastor speak at a conference, all they see is that pastor speaking. They don’t know the sacrifice that pastor made to lead, hone their speaking ability, or even God’s hand. They don’t see the sacrifice that pastor’s family has made all along the way.

We don’t see the scars, the online bashing they went through.

So we sit, longing for their platform, wishing for God to work in our life the way He has seemed to work in their life.

But it doesn’t.

We go back to our church, the one God has called us to be the pastor. We look out at 50, 200, 500 people that God has called us to love and we long for thousands.

And we’re bitter.

Our people feel it. Our leaders sense it.

And if leaders are not honest, our heart grows cold.

This frustration leads many leaders to burn out, to quit, to move to another church, to seek a more significant ministry. Why?

Not because God called them (although sometimes he does), but because they want to be known as more than they are.

I think a reason many leaders burnout is because they have picked up a calling that is not theirs.

It could be an associate pastor trying to be a lead pastor. A lead pastor of a church of 200 trying to be a lead pastor of 2,000; or a leader who is very strong in shepherding gifts trying to manufacture visionary or administrative gifts.

Left unchecked, this will not only destroy the leader but usually their ministry and family as well.

But the church, local and big C church miss out on who this leader is. We miss out on their calling and gifts.

This is why Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11 are so important: I have learned to be content.

It is essential to see what Paul says.

He once was not content, and he had to learn it.

Being content is something you’ll need to learn as a leader.

The desire for growth and effectiveness are not wrong or sinful. Desire in and of itself is not a sinful thing. It can be, but the desire is often where we find our calling.

But being content is something you will need to learn as a leader. Without it, many leadership missteps will take place. Many heartaches and sleepless nights await you. And, you will miss out on what God has for you and wants to do through you.

Posted on

Tuesday Mind Dump…

by

  • I don’t know if you’ve ever had a season where you feel like you are sprinting and you didn’t warm up.
  • That’s exactly what my life feels like right now.
  • With some transitions at our church, putting together the message for my grandmother’s memorial service, it’s been a hard season.
  • Last night I finished reading Michael Card’s book, A Sacred Sorrow: Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever read a book like it.
  • Lament and sorrow are not things I’m very good at as an 8 on the Enneagram, so this book was helpful for me.
  • I think what I’m learning is the most difficult to do in the midst of a busy season, is process things personally.
  • As a pastor, I spend most of my time helping people process things in their life, so I’m always in helping mode. Always looking outside of myself.
  • Last week, Katie and I met with our counselor and he asked, “What do you need to get to Easter?” Then, “What do you need to get to summer?”
  • If I’m honest, I don’t always know the answer or even act on it.
  • It’s a great question to ask because too often we don’t take care of ourselves.
  • Katie and I got to spend a few days last week in Denver assessing church planters through Acts 29.
  • It is amazing to sit around the table with couples who are planting or are on the verge of planting.
  • I love their passion, their hopes, and dreams. It was great for my soul to be reminded of that.
  • It’s also an amazing thing to sit and think about what potential lies within that person/couple and what God might do in and through them in their plant.
  • There are a lot of moving pieces in our church right now with staff transitions.
  • I’m blown away by the resilience, patience and passion of our leaders.
  • On top of getting ready for Easter!
  • I loved giving The 4 Chairs message on Sunday.
  • Here’s the big idea with a picture our creative team got.

  • I first heard this message as a college student and was blown away by it.
  • I’d appreciate your prayers as we continue our hiring process for a worship pastor.
  • I’m blown away by the leaders who have applied.
  • Makes me even more excited about the future of our church.
  • It’s not going to reach 70 degrees today, which means tonight might be the last great night for a fire in Tucson.
  • Our kids are excited about smores for pre-dinner.
  • If you did the crossfit open, I hope you’re glad it’s done. I am.
  • I have a love/hate relationship with the open.
  • I’m so excited for our next series at Revolution Church.
  • Were going through the book of Daniel in a series called How to be Brave. 
  • And this is still true about preaching through the book of Daniel.
  • Well, time to wrap up my sermon for Easter and finish out the sermon on the mount!
  • Back at it…
Posted on

Recovering from the Leadership Sprint

by

You’ll often hear older leaders say to younger leaders, “Don’t go so fast, leadership is a marathon, not a sprint.”

Leadership is a marathon, not a sprint.

Click To Tweet

There’s a lot of truth to this.

Many leaders, myself included, struggle to see what God can do over a lifetime of faithfulness and get so focused on the next thing, the next challenge, product, series, event.

Some seasons are busy. Breakneck speed busy.

Too many leaders (and families for that matter) move from one of those seasons to the next.

Without pausing.

How to pause in leadership.

Click To Tweet

But how do you pause?

I think the key to longevity is the breaks in between the busy times. Should we be busy? Yes, but not overloaded.

Should we be busy? Yes, but not overloaded.

Click To Tweet

Here are a few ideas to keep in mind to recover from the sprint of leadership and life:

1. Admit you’re in a busy season. There seem to be two ideas about busy seasons: relish them and talk about how busy you are. Feel overwhelmed by it and play the victim. Yes, there are other ideas, but these two seem to be the most common.

Being busy is okay.

Say, “we’re busy.” You planned it or at least didn’t prevent it.

It’s okay because it won’t always be this way, but it is right now.

You also need to be aware of when your busy seasons happen. If you’re like most people and most jobs, you have a time of year that will naturally be busier than another.

2. Engage fully in that season. It can be tempting to throw in the towel during the busy season, during the leadership sprint. You might need to, and you need to be honest about that.

If you can stick it out, engage fully, throw everything you have at what you’re doing.

3. Plan a break. The mistake most leaders and people in our culture make is not the busy times, but what happens after them.

Take a look at your calendar and determine that you will stop at the end of this sprint and stop. I think leaders need to put breaks, time off, hours, days off on their calendar as much as other appointments.

4. Be intentional about that break. It’s not enough to plan a break; you have to take it and be intentional about it. Failure to do this is why our culture jokes about needed a vacation after a vacation.

What things can you do that will recharge you? Refresh you? What activities should you do or not do?

These are essential practices to put into place.

Doing these will not only help you to maximize the sprints in your life but also make sure you don’t get overwhelmed by them.

Posted on

Links for Leaders 3/16/18

by

It’s the weekend…finally. The perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some reading. Below, you’ll find some articles I came across this week that I found helpful as a leader and parent and hope you do as well.

This past week, my blog was named Christian leaders blogs for Christian leaders. Honored to be included on that list.

Before diving into those, in case you missed them this week. Here are the top 3 posts on my blog this week that I hope you find helpful:

Here are the posts I enjoyed:

The church I lead is in the process of hiring some new staff members, so this post on 12 characteristics to look for in spiritual entrepreneurs was really helpful and interesting.

I have one middle schooler and am a few years away from having more, so this article on 5 challenges and changes middle schoolers face was incredibly timely for me. Tons of great insights in it.

Writing sermons is a big part of any pastor’s job and many pastors struggle with their sermon in terms of crafting it, the format. My leadership coach has an enormously helpful way to craft it.

Some blog posts you read are simply sage wisdom for a leader, the thing you needed most to hear on a certain day. These 11 words for leaders from Ron Edmondson was that for me this week.

If you have kids, you have probably gotten frustrated with them and said or did something you regretted. But what if you could avoid that? That’s what Dr. Jim Burns suggests here. His suggestion of letting reality be the teacher for your teens is fantastic.

Posted on

Stretching Yourself to Reach a Really Hard Goal

by

You know the drill.

You set a goal. A really big one. One that will stretch you, challenge you. It’s hard.

Really hard.

When we stretch ourselves, often we believe that we will succeed. We see a goal: losing weight, a promotion, saving money, starting a business or a church, and we think, “I can do this.”

Maybe you can.

Maybe you can’t.

What do you do with failure?

Click To Tweet

The problem in leadership circles is that when we talk about stretching ourselves, we simply focus on the people who stretched themselves, climbed the mountain and planted their flag. We don’t focus on the people all along the way who quit, got eaten up and spit out, weren’t as successful or simply didn’t make it.

I don’t know if it is wishful thinking, thinking it won’t happen to us, but many of us talk ourselves into believing we’ll be the one who makes it.

I remember right after we planted our church, I was at a conference and the speaker said, “God’s will for your life might be that you plant a church and it fails.”

God’s will for your life might be that you plant a church and it fails.

Click To Tweet

I thought, “He’s clearly talking to the guy next to me, because that won’t happen.”

But what if it did?

There have been seasons, dark ones, that God has brought us through.

What if the best thing for you is to fail?

That isn’t very encouraging, but our response to failure is often what propels us forward to the next thing.

Recently, I read The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact, and the authors said:

The promise of stretching is not success, it’s learning. It’s self-insight. It’s the promise of gleaning the answers to some of the most important and vexing questions of our lives: What do we want? What can we do? Who can we be? What can we endure?

Two very hard seasons of ministry led us to Tucson to plant a church, and those two years and God’s faithfulness through them is what kept us going many hard days.

If you are a leader, this has enormous implications on your life.

Your experiences aren’t wasted experiences. Your moments of failures, especially when you were so sure, are meant for something.

I often want to protect people I lead from failure. I want to step in and tell a younger leader, “I don’t think that’s a good idea” or, “You won’t make it.” But not anymore. It’s important for them to walk that road and for me to be there to help as I can.

As a parent, you can’t protect your kids from hard experiences. You aren’t necessarily meant to.

Stretching yourself is part of the journey, part of the learning. Part of what eventually helps you make an impact.

Posted on

Fasting & Freedom

by

It’s the season of Lent, which means millions of people have decided to fast from something.

Many will post about it on social media (the irony is that many will fast from social media by telling everyone about it) and then proceed to tell us how miserable they are about the things they are fasting.

But is that the point?

Fasting is all over Scripture.

Why fasting is essential for your spiritual life.

Click To Tweet

There is no command in the New Testament to fast, but in Matthew 6, Jesus seems to think we will do it as he says, “When you fast” (verse 16). Just like he said, “when you give” and “when you pray.”

What interesting about this context is giving (generosity), prayer and fasting have at heart, a desire to loosen our grip on something.

Giving loosens our grip on our stuff, and the role money plays in our life.

Giving loosens our grip on our stuff, and the role money plays in our life.

Click To Tweet

Prayer reminds us we are not in control of our lives or what will happen, that we need God.

Prayer reminds us we are not in control of our lives or what will happen, that we need God.

Click To Tweet

Fasting is a way of letting go of the things that distract us. It might be things like food, social media, and Netflix.

Most Christians agree that prayer, giving and fasting are essential, just as Jesus said they are in Matthew 6, but many of us struggle to do it?

Fasting is a way of letting go of the things that distract us.

Click To Tweet

Why?

I think it’s hard. We wonder if it is worth the time.

Think for a moment.

Every (most anyway) follower of Jesus would say that they want to read their bible and pray more. Why don’t they? They would say that it is time. It is partly that, but also has to do with our desires

Fasting is a way of getting at both.

Fasting creates time, which helps us meet the desire we have to know God.

So, what things take your time that keeps you from spending time with Jesus? From meditating on Scripture? And prayer?

If it’s food, social media, Netflix, blogs. Fast from them. Take a day and don’t do those things.

For me, each month I have 5 – 7 days where I am not on social media, blogs or podcasts. Why? I love those things, and they take a lot of time (they also mess with my mind and heart sometimes). Not doing those things frees up time for me to focus on my heart and relationship with Jesus, but also to clear my head and heart.