Posted on

What Makes a Wise Person?

by

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash

One thing that gets us in trouble in our relationships is that we respond to people the same. The reality is that our response to people depends on some things. The boundaries we have with one person aren’t the boundaries we should have with another person. 

The book of Proverbs states that there are 3 kinds of people: Wise, foolish, and evil. How do we know what kind of person we are dealing with? It depends on their reaction to the truth. 

What makes a person wise? In Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud states, “When truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments.”

When truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments. -Henry Cloud

Click To Tweet

What else makes a wise person so you know if you are one or if you are dealing with one? Cloud has some examples: 

How to know if you’re dealing with a wise person.

Click To Tweet

  • When you give them feedback, they listen, take it in, and adjust their behavior accordingly. 
  • When you give them feedback, they embrace it positively. 
  • They own their actions and reactions and take responsibility without excuses or blame. 
  • Your relationship is strengthened as a result of giving them feedback. 
  • They empathize and express concern about the results of their behavior on others. 
  • They show remorse for their actions and behaviors. 
  • They ask curious questions. 
  • They are open to change, and they make changes. 

A wise person is different from a fool or an evil person. 

One simple way to know if you are wise or dealing with a wise person is if they are open to feedback. If they are not, that is a clue. 

How to know if you’re a wise person.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

Ripe for Change

by

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

When I started at CCC, I read as many books on transitions and leading change as possible. One of the things they talked about is how new leaders will want to make changes, maybe even a lot of changes, but you need to know when to make those changes.

One of the key tasks for any leader, especially a brand-new leader, is figuring out what to change and when to make that change.

Leaders make changes. Leaders see things before others and the things that need to change or shift to get somewhere. The issue isn’t seeing what needs to change but knowing when to make that change.

So how do you know when to make a change? When something is “ripe for change.”

In one of my favorite leadership books, Leadership on the Line, Ronald Heifetz says: 

What determines when or whether an issue becomes ripe? How does it take on a generalized urgency shared by not just one but many factions within the community? Although there are many factors, we have identified four key questions; What other concerns occupy the people who need to be engaged? How deeply are people affected by the problem? How much do people need to learn? And what are the senior authority figures saying about the issue?

What other concerns occupy the people who need to be engaged? Leaders, like all people, have blinders and only see certain things. It is important to get different perspectives on changes because the thing you want to change or think is the next thing may not be the biggest thing your people are thinking about or seeing.

You can cut your legs off if you make the wrong change.

When I came, I listened to what people were talking about and what they said about hopes for the future. I also interviewed and surveyed over 50 people in our church, so I could get an idea of what the people of our church were thinking about and seeing.

That doesn’t mean they are right, but what you see as a leader also doesn’t make you right.

For a new pastor, this could be about starting a new ministry, remodeling the building, updating the parking lot, or changing the music style.

I asked each church I interviewed, “If all of your prayers for this church got answered, what would this church look like?” This question is a great way to understand what the people in a church are seeing and thinking about.

How deeply are people affected by the problem? One thing pastors and leaders do too often is change things or die on hills that aren’t that big of a deal.

One thing pastors and leaders do too often is change things or die on hills that aren’t that big of a deal.

Click To Tweet

We do that because we are passionate about it, think it’s a great idea, or saw something at a conference that we “just have to do.” I’ve reviewed changes I made in Tucson, or things I thought were a big deal, and shook my head. Most things in the church are not worth dying on. So choose wisely the things that you change. 

The best thing to change is the pain points most people see or feel. 

One question that I have used since moving to New England is to ask, “If I don’t do anything about this, will it matter in two years?”

One question to ask about making changes: If I don’t do anything about this, will it matter in two years?

Click To Tweet

This question has slowed me down to ask if it matters. Some things need to be changed immediately; if you don’t do something, it might be fatal to your church. By asking this question, it also helps put me in the future of what matters. 

How much do people need to learn? Pastors and leaders are notorious for making a change without educating anyone on the change or the reason for the change. And then, we get angry with our people for “not being on board.”

Pastors, remember that whatever change you are making or considering, you have been thinking about, researching, and getting excited about for months or years. Your people will also need time to fully embrace what you are doing. 

So educate them. Share the resources you’ve used, the books you’ve read, or the podcasts you’ve listened to. Expose your people to the changes in your heart and mind that led to the change. 

What do people need to know for you to make changes at your church?

Click To Tweet

And what are the senior authority figures saying about the issue? The people in your church with formal and informal authority, what do they say? Are they on board? Do they see what you see?

Leaders who skip this part will do so at their peril. 

When you make a change, especially as a new leader, people with complaints won’t come to you. They will go to those with authority and influence, the ones who have been at the church longer than you have. You need to have them on board so they can help answer questions and run interference for you in a change. 

4 questions to ask as you lead change.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

How to Be Productive When You Don’t Preach

by

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

One of the things I consistently hear from pastors is how behind they feel when it comes to sermon prep and how they wish they could plan a week off from preaching.

So you might read the title of this article and think, “I’m not even productive when I preach; how can I be productive when I don’t preach.”

If you don’t take weeks off and be productive when you don’t preach, your church and preaching will suffer.

You need to take regular breaks from preaching. Your body, heart, mind, and soul need it. And your church needs a break from you and to hear other voices. And others need a chance to grow as communicators.

So, for the sake of this blog, I assume you want to take weeks off from preaching. Schedule it and make it happen.

But what do you do with those weeks? How do you use them productively to move your preaching and church forward? The weeks you have off from preaching can be incredibly strategic if you use them wisely.

How to use your time wisely as a pastor.

Click To Tweet

Work “on” your church. The weeks you have off from preaching are a great opportunity to step back and evaluate your church and ministries. To look at what is next, what do you need to focus on in the next 12 – 18 months?

This is a great time to ask what is working, not working, what is clear or not, and what is missing or confusing about your church or ministries. You can use this time to evaluate staff members or have staff or elder planning days.

When you don’t preach, use that time to work “on” your church.

Click To Tweet

Work on your soul. The weeks I have off from preaching are incredibly helpful to my heart and soul. I like to take extra time for prayer, scripture reading, and reading that doesn’t have anything to do with ministry or sermon prep that is just for me and my relationship with God.

Too often, pastors run out of steam because everything they take in is for sermon prep or leadership but never for them.

I know many pastors who use this time for long walks, for retreat days.

The weeks you don’t preach are a great time to rest.

Click To Tweet

Rest. Your weeks off from preaching are great times to rest. Preaching takes a toll on your mind, body, and soul. Your brain needs a break, and you need to refill yourself. The weeks you aren’t preaching are a great time to take some extra time off, rest, and do some things that rejuvenate you. 

Fill your tank. Preaching is output for a pastor, so when you aren’t preaching, that is a great time for extra input into your tank. This isn’t just physical but also how you nourish your soul. If you can get away from your church, go to a different church, be a part of the worship service there, and be fed. Listen to some sermons or things that will refill your tank. 

Work ahead. Lastly, the weeks you don’t preach are a great time to work on future sermons and series. If you can get into the habit of working ahead, that will save you a lot of time and energy in ministry. 

5 ways to be productive when you don’t preach.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

How to Maximize Your Summer Vacation

by

Photo by li hao on Unsplash

Over the years, I have heard more people talk about needing a vacation from their vacation. Or they don’t take all of their vacation days. 

They end up tired; they don’t enjoy their jobs, and their families don’t have any fun memories to look back on. 

And for what?

In reality, you and I are created to live life in rhythm. We are designed to work hard and play hard. To stress our bodies and then to unwind and let them destress. 

The summer for our family is a favorite season. A time to play, make memories, go on trips and explore. 

We’ve had to learn this as Katie and I didn’t take many vacations growing up. The reality is that it doesn’t have to be expensive to be worthwhile, but it will take some thought. As you get ready for summer, here are some ideas to help you make sure that you are maximizing your summer:

6 ways to maximize your summer.

Click To Tweet

Take all your vacation days. If your company gives you three weeks, take all 3. Don’t leave any left over at the end of the year. You work hard, and your family runs fast throughout the year from activity to activity. One of the biggest wastes is vacation time left over. The average American leaves 6.5 vacation days unused each year. These are free days off; take them.

Parents set the tone. When I am frustrated, tense, or anxious, the whole family feels this way. How do you react to your wife and kids? It bleeds into everyone. You set the tone. Know that you set the tone for everyone else when you are in the car, at the rest stops, or on vacation. This may not be the case in your family, but I have learned how powerful my presence and emotions are in our family and watched them over the years. 

Prepare mentally and emotionally for time off. Being off from work is hard. It is a different rhythm, a different routine. You don’t wake up, make phone calls, check your email, or sit in meetings. If you have young kids, they don’t usually entertain themselves. As a dad, you aren’t used to this. So, mentally and emotionally, prepare for it. You probably work too many hours like most of us, which means emotionally you are fried by the time you get to vacation. Spend the week before mentally and emotionally unpacking and preparing for vacation.

Turn off your email, phone, social media, etc. Vacation means you are not working. I know this is hard to believe, but your company will run without you. When we go on vacation, I turn off my phone, email, social media, etc. Trust me on this, if you want a sure-fire way to build into your family, win enormous points with your spouse and kids, turn off your phone, email and social media. 

Plan Ahead. Do some research wherever you go, even if you are doing a staycation. The internet makes planning a cheap vacation and finding inexpensive fun things to do, incredibly easy. Look for places and things around you that you have never been to and go there.

Make memories. This goes with planning. Find fun places to eat out or places to get unique desserts. Stay up late, and do silly things you wouldn’t normally do. Do whatever you can to make memories. Our kids still talk about things we did 5-10 years ago on vacation. 

6 ways to make memories on summer vacation.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

How to Stay Passionate as a Pastor

by

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

It is easy to get started; to start a new job or ministry, jump into a new idea or opportunity. But, somewhere along the way, reality sets in, and you begin to find your passion waning.

It might be because you’re bored, it got hard, didn’t go how you expected it to, or somewhere in between.

But every leader has found themselves running out of steam.

What drains your passion? This could be tasks, situations, or people. It might be things that are part of your job, or you have found yourself doing.

We all have tasks we don’t love and people in our lives that can drain us of energy and passion. The reality is you may have to keep doing those things or working with those people. This isn’t about getting out of things or not doing things, although that might be something to explore. This is simply being aware of what drains or takes a lot of energy for you to do and figuring out the best time to do those things. 

Too many pastors do their least enjoyable tasks during peak performance hours, which Carey Nieuwhof calls “your green zone.” 

Yes, ministry and leadership can be draining, but we are often our worst enemies when it comes to our schedules and working against ourselves. 

Can you do a ministry you aren’t passionate about? At some point, you have to ask yourself if you are passionate about your work. 

This doesn’t mean you should quit. Many people are leaving or thinking about quitting ministry right now. Some pastors are working in roles they aren’t gifted or wired to be in, working in churches they don’t believe in, or living in places they don’t love. 

Does that mean you should quit? Maybe. Maybe not. 

You need to ask if you are passionate about your work. If you aren’t, why aren’t you?

Are you passionate about the church you work at?

Click To Tweet

Life is too short to do a job or work at a church you aren’t passionate about. Now, you have to know why you aren’t. You might have an unrealistic expectation for a job or a church; the job or church might not be where it will eventually be. 

You can work at a church or do a job you don’t love, but you need to understand why you feel the way you do. Maybe you need to tweak some things about your role, or you might need to learn some contentment in your position or the church you are a part of. 

But this can be a sticking point for you. I remember being told by someone that you could stay in a role that didn’t bring you life for about 18 months, and then it would eat you alive. I’m not sure where he came up with that number, but for my life and watching others, there seems to be a lot of truth. 

What keeps your passion high? Your job as a leader and pastor is to keep your passion high. No one else can do it for you. No one else will do it for you. 

It is your job as a leader and pastor to keep your passion high. No one else can do it for you. No one else will do it for you.

Click To Tweet

What does that mean for you? What keeps your passion for what you do white hot?

This can be very personality and temperament specific, so you need to learn these things about yourself. 

Just as important as knowing who and what can drain your passion and energy, you must know who and what gives you more energy and passion for what you do. 

At the end of the day, pastors, remember this:

You must figure out how to keep yourself encouraged, your hope high, and your passion white-hot.

You will get tired, your vision will get fuzzy, and you might want to quit. All of that is normal. But you must keep yourself close to Jesus.

You must tend to your soul.

Pastor, you must tend to your soul.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

What I Didn’t Know About Being a Lead Pastor

by

Photo by Memento Media on Unsplash

I recently talked with some newer pastors who want to be lead pastors but aren’t yet. They asked, “What do you know now as a lead pastor that you didn’t know in your 20s?”

I have had a unique opportunity over the last few years.

What I didn’t know about being a lead pastor.

Click To Tweet

I planted a church in 2008 when I was 28 years old, and then, in 2019, I became the teaching pastor at a church for two years (where I wasn’t the lead pastor but sat on the exec team) and then became a lead pastor again in 2021.

You only know what goes into a seat once you sit there. Just like, if you aren’t a teacher, doctor, or electrician, it is hard to know what it is like to sit in those seats. We might think we know, but we only have ideas about it. 

Before I became lead pastor, I underestimated all the things the lead pastors I worked for had to deal with, all the shots they took, and this is a big one, all the protection they gave to me and my ideas.

If you aren’t the lead pastor, it is easy to underestimate what your lead pastor does.

Click To Tweet

You think about stewardship differently. Money doesn’t factor into things as much when you aren’t a lead pastor. You aren’t responsible for the budget, payroll, or the building. 

As a lead pastor, I know how much a meeting costs the church. Meaning, take how much you pay each person per hour who attends a meeting, and that’s how much a meeting costs. This idea has changed my thoughts about meetings, who is there, and how hours get spent at a church.

Before being a lead pastor, that wasn’t on my radar.

The other thing that changed related to money was the weight I felt for making sure we could pay people, knowing that families relied on the paycheck from the church. I never even thought about this when I wasn’t the lead pastor. I didn’t worry if our church could make payroll, but I have spent many nights worrying about that as a lead pastor.

6 things I didn’t know about being a lead pastor until I became one.

Click To Tweet

Decision making. Decisions are obvious when you aren’t the lead pastor. Decisions are obvious for everyone who isn’t the boss. Decisions are obvious if you attend a church. But decisions are obvious because you only see what you want to see or what you can see.

The reason decisions are obvious is that you only see what you want to see or what you can see.

Click To Tweet

When you are the lead pastor, you know more about the moving pieces of the whole church, the ministry season, the budget, etc., than anyone else on staff. You see more. This changes how you think about decisions and what to do. 

You still need to get it right; you see decisions differently. When I wasn’t the lead pastor, I failed to see the dominos on the other side of a decision. I only saw the decision. 

Expectations. You need to find out the expectations people have. Take your expectations and multiply that by how many people there are in your church, and now you know how many expectations are on a lead pastor (and their family). 

Yes, people in the church have expectations for staff members too. But it is multiplied for a lead pastor, a weighty thing that is easy to miss if you aren’t the lead pastor. 

When I wasn’t a lead pastor, I could see my lead pastors’ weaknesses and the areas I thought they needed to grow. I know my staff is well acquainted with my weaknesses. What I often needed to see, though, was the strengths that they brought to the table. The sad reality is we expect pastors to be great at everything. Don’t believe me; look at a job listing for a lead pastor. Now, search teams want a lead pastor with a Master’s or Ph.D., 10+ years experience in leading staff, and a great preacher, counselor, manager, and Bible scholar. The reality is no one is good at all of those things, but the expectations still exist. 

Yes, there are expectations for every staff role in a church, but I’ve seen that they are different for a lead pastor. Throw in a lead pastor’s age and expect someone in their 30s to be more mature than they are and for someone in their 50s or 60s to try to stay hip!

The expectations on pastors are overwhelming and hard to manage.

Click To Tweet

Responsibility. There is a responsibility that a lead pastor carries that no one else has. The lead pastor is responsible for their role, leading the staff, preaching, teaching, etc. But they will stand before God for how they led and what happened in their church.

Focus. When you aren’t the lead pastor, you want the lead pastor to care about your ministry or passion as much as you do. But then, so does everyone else on staff and in the church. 

I underestimated how easy it is for a church to get off focus and lose sight of its mission and what it should be about. 

It is hard for a lead pastor to keep their focus because they have competing voices on their team and in the church, the latest book or conference idea, and the things they’d like to try, all while still leading in the mission and vision the church has. 

Your lead pastor provides protection and freedom for you that you might not be aware of.

Click To Tweet

Protection and freedom. I have seen this more clearly as a lead and teaching pastor. A lead pastor will take shots for their team, protect them when complaints come in, and when elders (or an elder’s spouse) have questions about a staff member or a ministry, the lead pastor runs interference for that person or ministry. Some things land on a lead pastor’s desk about staff members that many staff members never hear of. 

Their family. I never understood a pastor’s family experiences until I became a lead pastor. Yes, all pastor’s wives and kids experience life in the fishbowl and expectations from members, but it is different for a lead pastor’s family. Part of this plays out differently depending on church tradition, but every lead pastor’s family experiences things no one else does. I once had a worship pastor whose wife told me, “I don’t see myself as a pastor’s wife; my husband plays music.” That could never happen for a lead pastor. If the lead pastor’s wife isn’t at church, people notice. If the kids aren’t, people see. 

6 lessons I learned as a lead pastor.

Click To Tweet

No lead pastor is perfect. None of them claim to be. But they do carry things that no one else in the church has. Their families experience things no one else in the church experiences. 

So, give them some grace as they lead. You’ll want the same grace from others if you happen to become a lead pastor one day. 

Posted on

Holding on to Your Faith when Life Knocks You Down

by

man wearing black, white, and gray plaid sport shirt covering his face

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

In my years as a pastor, I’ve sat with couples who have buried a child, adults burying their parents, I’ve wept with people who just found out they had cancer and a short time to live, listened to the brokenhearted stories about the end of a marriage, a child who wants nothing to do with the family or God, the loss of jobs, financial difficulties, addictions that can’t be beaten.

Every single time, it is heartbreaking to walk through. 

These moments feel like a gut punch. 

What to do when the storms of life beat you down.

Click To Tweet

I’ve walked through the loss of friends, difficulty in family and work relationships, loss of jobs, setbacks in life, and difficulties in starting our church. I’ve looked at mountains that seemed impossible to get past, hurt that felt so painful I thought I could never recover, a betrayal that ran deep.

And you have too. 

Walking into the church, we wonder what to do with those feelings, situations, and moments. Where is God in them? Does God care? Does He know? Are we supposed to put on a smile and pretend life is great when we just drug ourselves to church looking for a shred of hope?

This leads us to Romans 8 and one of the most quoted verses in the Bible. One that has been used for encouragement over and over in the lives of thousands since Paul wrote it.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified.

Right now, you might be amid a storm in life. You might not be. If you aren’t, the reality is your storm is coming at some point.

Here are a few questions to help you see where you are, where God is in the storm you are walking through, and how to have the faith to walk through what you are in and what is ahead:

4 questions to help you trust God when life feels out of your control.

Click To Tweet

1. What storm are you facing? It is important to identify the storm you are facing. Often we don’t know what it is. We feel down, or something feels off from what used to be or what we hoped. Often it isn’t a storm we’re in the middle of; we’re simply tired or burned out. Other times we are in the dark place of the storm, and the waves are crashing around us. Also, without identifying our storm, we will struggle to see anything God is doing because we’ll simply go into survival mode or become jaded.

Identifying a storm is key to getting through the storm.

Click To Tweet

2. Are there any sins that need to be confronted? By this, have you sinned to get you into the place you are in, or has someone else? Take finances for an example. This can cause an incredibly stressful storm, but many of our financial issues (the housing market, retirement, etc.) are out of our control. Other financial storms are in our control (debt, spending, saving, giving, etc.). Or relational storms: did you hurt someone? Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Is there someone you need to confront or forgive, and let go?

3. Look back at a storm, hurt, or pain from your past. With some distance from that situation, can you see God’s hand? I know that the further I am from a situation, the more clarity I have. I will often see my pride and sin more clearly, but I also see God’s hand more clearly. Now, on this side of heaven, we will not have answers for everything that happens to us. We aren’t promised that. We are promised that God will never leave or forsake us, that all things serve a purpose in God’s plan, and that all things will bring about God’s glory and good if we are called by Him and love him.

Sometimes you must look back to go forward.

Click To Tweet

4. What does looking at your past help you to see about God with what you are facing? What is He trying to do right now? I like to look back on my life because it often helps me move forward. This is why God had the nation of Israel do things to remember how He moved in the past. This is why as followers of Jesus, we do things like communion and baptism to remember how God worked in the past, because that has an enormous impact on our faith in the future.

Posted on

When You Want to be Somewhere Else (Should You Move?)

by

 

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I had a season in Tucson when I was discontented with my life and where I was. I was frustrated at my lack of progress; I started to dislike where I lived, and a friend looked at me and said, “What if you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be? What if where you are right now, with how your life is, this is where God wants you?” I looked at him and said, “If that’s the case, then I don’t like God now.” But life and where we end up is a battle of contentment.

I was talking to a friend recently who lived in a small town and wanted to be at a larger company in a larger city. Where things are happening, and life is exciting.

Yet, nothing came up for him.

Part of this is personality-driven, but there is also something in the water of our culture. We like new, shiny, and big things.

Regularly I talk to people about the same topic: Wishing they were somewhere else.

Not necessarily physically (although sometimes that’s it), but wanting to be somewhere else.

You can move somewhere and change your life, but that’s a different blog. 

How to know if you should move or stay where you are.

Click To Tweet

The reality is many of us need to learn contentment where we are, patience as we wait on God, and be where God has us. 

For 5 years, Katie and I tried to leave Tucson. We felt our hearts were somewhere else, that God had something else for us, but nothing happened. Some of that was God moving us and loosening our grip on things. 

In those 5 years, God showed us things we needed to learn as a couple. God showed me things I needed to learn and deal with. 

Recently, someone at my church asked me if I’m happy in New England. 

We love New England. 

But then I told them something that made me happy. As I’ve reflected on our time in Tucson, I am starting to see more and more why we walked through the things we did, the experiences we had in the churches we were a part of, and how all those seasons have prepared us for this one. I can see why God said, “Not yet,” when we were ready. I can see why that situation with an elder or staff member happened. 

Not everything, but it has shown me that my friend was right. What if we were exactly where God wanted us so we would be prepared for what came next? 

Should you move or stay where you are?

Click To Tweet

Posted on

When Everything Falls Apart at Church

by

Photo by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplash

If you’re a pastor, married to one, or in church leadership, you have probably experienced a Sunday morning where everything that could go wrong went wrong.

It might be technical difficulties, angry church members, a sick child (or being sick yourself), a volunteer canceling at the last minute, or maybe you woke up and didn’t feel like leading and preaching that day.

I’ve been in church ministry since I was 18, and these Sundays happen more often than I wish.

Recently, I had one of these Sundays. I slept horribly on Saturday night; I woke up not feeling great, my sermon seemed off and disconnected, and the mood in the church just felt hard.

This will happen. Chances are good; it might happen this weekend to you.

As pastors and ministry families, we aren’t helpless in these moments. But it takes some preparation and wisdom to navigate these moments.

As I looked back, here are six things to remember and do:

What to do when Sunday morning goes off the rails.

Click To Tweet

Prepare on Saturday night. We do very little on Saturday nights. We try our best to have a quiet night at home, watch something funny, try to relax, and get a good night’s sleep.

How your Sunday morning goes as a pastor starts with how your Saturday night goes.

Very few people will feel what you feel. This is good and bad. It is good because even if you feel off, your church might not. It can be frustrating because we’d like people to relate to us on this level, but that’s a different post.

Over the years, I’ve learned that just because I feel something at church doesn’t mean everyone feels something. Just because I feel off with a sermon or something feels out of sync, that might be just me. Now, there will be Sundays where what you feel, everyone feels. So be aware of the feeling, but also don’t overthink what you feel. 

It will happen at some point. While this won’t be a regular occurrence (hopefully!), it will happen at some point.

Pastor, here’s how to handle a difficult Sunday morning.

Click To Tweet

This means you must plan how to handle it mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. How will you calm your mind and body to do what you need to do? How will you refocus?

This is why your prep and run-through are so important. I’m a big believer in doing a sermon run-through and think more pastors should do it. Whenever I have a stressful or difficult Sunday morning, I am thankful for the prep I’ve done and that I’ve already run through my sermon. This takes a massive weight off my shoulders regarding feeling prepared for what is ahead.

The power of prayer. One thing our elders do with whoever is preaching is pray over them before the service. This moment on a Sunday morning is incredibly powerful to me. To come together, share where I am, and have trusted leaders pray with and for me.

Take a deep breath and go. Ministry and leadership are hard. This is all over the New Testament, but whenever it gets hard, we are surprised. We must know the difficulty ahead of us, pray, be prepared, take a deep breath, and go.

6 ways to prepare for a Sunday morning as a pastor.

Click To Tweet

Posted on

Are You Wiling to Make the Sacrifices Success Demands?

by

Photo by Garrhet Sampson on Unsplash

One of the hardest things in life and leadership is feeling ready for success and effectiveness but having it elude you.

You might look around at other leaders, pastors, or churches and wonder, “Why do they seem to have the effectiveness and health, and I don’t?” The same thing can happen in relationships when it seems like others have an easier time than you do. 

There are things you can and can’t control regarding effectiveness in life and leadership.

One of the things you can’t control is God’s timing for your life. I remember reading a quote from Martyn Lloyd-Jones years ago where he said, “The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready.” Sometimes in life and leadership, you aren’t ready for the dreams that you have. There may be some lessons you need to learn; there may be some lessons others need to learn before they can come and help you take your next step.

The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready. -Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Click To Tweet

The other thing I’ve realized the longer I’m in leadership is that looking back, I didn’t want the things I dreamed about. Every pastor, at some point, dreams of speaking on a big stage, writing books, and having a large platform, but deep down, many aren’t willing to make the sacrifices it takes to get there. You need to work long hours to be successful and effective at anything. Your life needs to revolve around something; the most successful are making sacrifices that others aren’t. There is a reason that few megachurch-lead pastors make it to the end of ministry with a marriage and family intact. And a lot of that has to do with the sacrifice and pressure others must make for someone to be successful.

Do you want the dreams in your head?

Click To Tweet

A few years ago, I started to ask successful people, what things have you given up to get where you are? What sacrifices have you or your family made for your success? This question can be eye-opening when you hear the answers. 

I’ve talked to several “successful” pastors who have marriages that aren’t fulfilling or ones who rarely speak to their kids. I’ve talked to countless leaders who are incredibly lonely and have enormous platforms. 

One of the things it showed me was what I wanted out of life. I heard some answers and thought, “I don’t want to give that up.” When you realize that, you can see that you don’t want what that person has because you aren’t willing to do what that person did. 

That’s okay. 

Some of this is the season of life, and some is simply your life calling. 

So, before you start to envy the life someone has, look at the sacrifices they had to make to get there and then ask, “Do I want to make those sacrifices?” If you don’t, that’s okay; it just means you have a different life.