Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2022

Finding Hope, Fighting Cynicism at Christmas

by Josh Reich

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

We have a lot of feelings at Christmas time. Feelings of happiness and joy, laughter, parties, and gifts.

But we also experience some deeper, sadder feelings. The feelings of loneliness, being left out or forgotten. But one feeling creeps up on us, especially as we age. And that’s cynicism.

It’s easy at Christmas to be cynical. To look at people and think life doesn’t turn out that way. Like the commercials, people don’t just buy cars for their spouse without telling them. It’s easy to hear children’s dreams and think, good luck with that. I wish I could get the new iPhone too! To watch another hallmark movie and feel you can’t just leave the big city and move to a small town in New England and find love! It doesn’t work like that.

We do this with God too. To hear the stories of Jesus coming to earth and think, God doesn’t love like that. He doesn’t enter into the messiness of my story.

Advent is the answer to our cynicism and skepticism. The weeks remind us that when Jesus came and when Jesus comes again, we have hope, joy, peace, and love. Those aren’t just words for songs; they are real things and things we need.

But another reason we get cynical is we’re tired of waiting. We’re tired of trusting. We’re tired of asking: When will God heal my body and mend my relationships? When will God free me from this addiction? When will God do this for the people closest to me?

What do we do with our cynicism, so it doesn’t ruin our holidays?

Carey Nieuwhof said, “Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do.”

Cynicism happens not because you don’t care but because you do. -@cnieuwhof

The places in our lives where we become cynical are deeply personal hopes and dreams that we carry for our present and future.

In this place, we have to battle for contentment and fight cynicism.

One of the things we miss when we think about contentment is that our contentment in life, marriage, parenting, and leadership is not just about us but all the people connected to us. Our spouse and kids are affected by our contentment or lack thereof.

If you are a pastor, leader, or boss, those following you are impacted by the contentment or cynicism you feel. As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.

As a parent, your kids feel the weight of cynicism or the joy of your contentment.

We can easily beat ourselves up because of contentment and cynicism ebb and flow.

But how do you fight for contentment, especially if you are not naturally optimistic?

3 ways to fight cynicism.

Surround yourself with contented people. A thankful person is a joy to be around. Get around them, listen to them. They have peace that few other people have.

Learn what leads to cynicism. If you are a church planter or pastor, cynicism comes from hearing about a larger church or a church planter who was given a building out of the blue (that’s mine). If you are a parent, it might be hearing about another family or seeing something on Instagram. Know your triggers. Know when they might hit. Hint: it will often happen when you are tired or emotionally depleted. Just be aware of that.

Be grateful for what you have. One of the practices that has helped me this past year is writing down at least three daily things I am thankful for. This has caused me to pause in my day and see how things are going well, things I can celebrate.

Posted on Monday, December 12, 2022

My Favorite Books of 2022

by Josh Reich

Photo by Tom Hermans on Unsplash

It’s that time of year. When I look back over what I’ve read and list out my favorite books of the year!

Admittedly, I read fewer non-fiction books this past year. Part of that was the energy our move across the country took and settling into life here. I’m also finding that I need to give my brain a break and enjoy more fiction and historical books.

Below is a photo of my favorite books of the year, with my favorite one on top. To see everything I read this year, go here.

If you’re curious about past years’ lists, click on the numbers: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021.

First, the fun books!

Here are my 6 favorite novels of the year:

My favorite novels of 2022

Here are my favorite books of the year:

10. The Power of Place: Choosing Stability in a Rootless Age. I didn’t read this before we moved, but it said many things we have thought about over the years about the power and importance of place in our lives. I put a big emphasis on place, and this book was helpful to have a theology on it. Suppose you are trying to find your place in this world, where you should live, etc. This is a helpful book on that.

9. Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation. I have had this book on my shelf for a long time and finally got around to reading it. Wow. The section on spiritual formation and personality was fascinating. It helped name some things in my life that I needed to be aware of and some deficiencies I can easily fall into as a pastor.

8. How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion. Everyone who preaches and communicates should read this book. Most sermons go after the wrong argument, and this book was eye-opening to what changes people’s minds from a scientific perspective.

7. Letters to a Young Pastor: Timothy Conversations between Father and Son. This book was so rich and soul-stirring. Eugene Peterson wrote letters to his son as his son started in ministry. This is a book I’ll come back to in the coming years.

6. A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders. If there is one book pastors need to read as we move into a post-pandemic, divisive world, this is it. It names what we have felt and experienced and a way forward.

5. The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team. I love personality tests and explaining why we do what we do in work, life and relationships. This book was something we took our staff and elders through and has been incredibly helpful in understanding our wiring as a team.

4. Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience. While I disagree with the author on some theological areas, this book was beneficial for me to understand my relationship with God and how I process that based on what I’ve experienced in life and relationships.

3. The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. I have recommended this book to every parent of teenagers since I read it—a must-read for parents.

2. Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Change. This is a bit of cheating since I’ve read this book three times, but it is still relevant and spot-on. If you are leading change of any kind, this book has to be at the top of your list. This book has saved me many times as I’ve led change processes over the years.

1. From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’m starting to read and think more about the second half of life as I get older, and this book answered many questions and helped me think through a roadmap for my future steps. If you’re over 40, you should read this book.

My 10 favorite books of 2022

Posted on Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Pastors & the Christmas Season

by Josh Reich

Photo by Andreea Radu on Unsplash

Christmas is right around the corner, which means for pastors, one of the busiest days/weekends is right around the corner. It can be a huge challenge to balance work, family, traveling, parties, AND Christmas Eve services.

And right now, pastors are more tired and exhausted than ever before.

Pastor, make sure you rest this Christmas season. Here’s how…

Because most pastors will be working on December 24th, I wanted to share some ideas I’ve learned over the years and will put into practice after Christmas Eve.

Enjoy Christmas Eve. This post is about recovering after Christmas Eve, but don’t be a Scrooge. Enjoy Christmas Eve. Enjoy the services, the singing, the energy, and seeing new faces at church, and maybe some you haven’t seen in a while. If you’re preaching, like I am this year, enjoy it. What a gift to stand on stage and tell people about the God who came into our world so we could have peace. What a gift. And don’t forget to celebrate the gift of freedom Jesus gave you by coming to earth. The message you proclaim on Christmas Eve is for you, as well.

The message you proclaim on Christmas Eve is for you as well.

Now, onto the recovery and enjoying your break.

Watch some Christmas specials or movies. Or if you are tired of Christmas stuff, maybe you need to binge the new season of Jack Ryan or The Crown. But take some time and relax.

Read a book you’ve been dying to read. I’m a reader, and so are most leaders, so this is a great time to read a book you’ve been putting off. I don’t read books about leadership or church ministry when I’m off work. Use this time to give your brain a break from thinking about work. This might be a good time to read a book for your heart and soul.

Turn off social media and email. Hopefully, you are taking some days off. Our church is gracious and gives us a week off, so use that time to disconnect from work. Turn off social media (all anyone posts is what they got for Christmas and pictures of snow, and you can catch up on that later) and your email. You don’t need to check it. Jesus came to earth and will continue to run things while you’re off work. It will be okay.

If you are working and have services, try to take a break from social media and email. And if you can, find someone else to preach the Sunday after Christmas Eve or over New Years so you can catch your breath. One thing I did when I didn’t have other preachers on my team was to show a sermon video of a pastor I respected.

Have dinner with friends. I know, I know. You’ve been to many parties and around many people, and maybe you need some introvert time. But even introverts need relationships; this is a great time to have dinner with people who recharge you and build you up. Make some time for that.

Take naps (several). Get some sleep. Don’t set your alarm. My kids will wake me up anyway. But get lots of rest.

Be active. You also need to move. You don’t need to set the world on fire and do some Crossfit workouts (unless that’s your thing), but moving is great for your body to recover from preaching. This month, I’m planning some hikes and exploring to be outside when possible.

Celebrate what God did on Christmas Eve. It’s hard for some of us to celebrate what God did at our Christmas Eve services because we’ll hear about the church that had 30,000 people when we didn’t have that many. But God didn’t call you to that church; He called you to yours, so celebrate what He did at your church. Every changed life is a miracle. And remember, there will be people at your Christmas Eve service who have never attended church.

Watch some football. If you’re a football fan, this is an excellent week, as there will be many great college football games. So enjoy that gift.

Think through the new year. If you’re a new year person, consider what the coming year will look like. I do this process in June on my preaching break, but this can be a great time to pull out your personal goals and ask how you are doing and what needs to be adjusted as you hit the ground running in January. Here’s the process that I use.

How to make the most of your Christmas break.

Posted on Wednesday, November 2, 2022

The Seasons of Leadership & Church

by Josh Reich

Photo by Skull Kat on Unsplash

Recently, I gave a sermon on the seasons of life and family at my church. As I thought about it, there is a lot of application to it for pastors and churches.

When you think about the year’s seasons, there are joys and challenges in each season. There are things we love about each year’s season and things we dislike about each season.

Here’s a way to think about each season:

Winter is the season of hibernation and resting, holding steady. It is also the season of sadness, sickness, and loneliness. There are seasons in life and family of sorrow, illness, and loneliness. Seasons of resting and clearing the calendar to sit by the fire. Winter is also the season of preparation because you aren’t doing other activities.

In the church world, this can be the times of vacations and breaks throughout the year, the season when you are evaluating ministries and thinking through budgets and plans. It is also the time when your staff is resting and on vacation.

While it can feel like nothing is happening in winter, many things are happening in winter.

Spring is the season of new beginnings and opportunities, the season of hope. Life is blooming. This season can feel like a shotgun went off. Like it is all of a sudden busy. Everything is happening at once. This season can start with a new job, opportunity, or school year. I remember a farmer telling me once that to have a great fall; you have to jump on the opportunity in spring and work harder than you think.

In the church world, this can be the beginning of a new series, ministry season, program, or the start of a church. The beginning is fun and chaotic; you feel like you are building the plane as you are flying.

Summer is the season of growth, enjoyment, and fun. Summer is the season of life when you begin to see the payoff for some of what you did in life. In the summer, you also need to be pruning your life to live effectively and at a sustainable pace. In farming, you are weeding, protecting what matters to you. Summer can also be the time you are tempted to sit back, but if you do, that’s when you can lose your crop.

In the church world, summer is when you are fixing what you are doing and tweaking this or that to make improvements on something. You are having meetings to keep everyone on the same page, staying unified, and moving in the same direction as a church and staff.

Fall is the harvest season. We reap all that we have sown in the fall. Fall is when you see the results of what you did and either celebrate or lament. Fall is also the season of change; the leaves change, and the weather gets colder. Fall is also the time that you prepare for winter. You winterize your house and pipes. The same is true in life and relationships. You need to prepare for winter.

One way to think of the fall season in churches is to see it through the lens of the harvest, big days. Days like Easter Sunday or a baptism Sunday. When you sit back and see the hard work of walking with people, those days are also the beginning of journeys for those people, and you start cycles of discipleship with people.

Which season is your church in right now? And how does that change how you lead and work as a church?

Now, something more personal as a leader: I think each pastor and leader has a season they are best. Do you know which season of the life of your church you are best suited for? What about the others on your team?

It isn’t enough to know which season your church is in; you also need to know where your leadership muscles are the strongest.

Posted on Thursday, October 27, 2022

Classes, Groups & Spiritual Growth

by Josh Reich

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

One thing every church wrestles with is how to help people grow and mature in their faith. Every church and every follower of Jesus has different ideas about how this should happen. Some of that is based on personality, learning style, and what worked best for us.

Every pastor has sat in a meeting where someone says, “We should do a class on that.”

Now, are classes wrong? No.

Should every church have classes in addition to groups? Maybe.

How do people grow spiritually?

Here are some questions you should walk through to figure that out for your church. Right now, our team is working through these:

What is missing from our groups or church right now that classes will provide? Groups don’t do everything, so things are missing with just being in a group. But we need to identify what those things are.

What is the goal of classes? What will they do that nothing else can do (including sermons, personal bible reading, study, groups, etc.)? Are classes the only way to accomplish these goals as a church? Churches are good at doing things we’ve done in the past, or other churches do without asking why we’re doing them.

Classes serve an essential purpose within the life of our churches, but too often, we aren’t sure what they are supposed to accomplish, and when that happens, they miss the mark.

How do classes help someone grow in their faith to maturity? Classes make people more intelligent and give them more bible knowledge but don’t always make them mature followers of Jesus. We need to be clear on what classes do for spiritual growth and not oversell them in our minds, which is easy.

7 questions every pastor and church must answer.

Who is asking for classes? Are they mature followers of Jesus who should be leading? Are new believers trying to take their first steps of faith? The person asking helps us to see what is missing and what classes should or shouldn’t be on. And just because someone thinks they need a class doesn’t mean they need a class. I have paid people to help me with nutrition and workout plans, and often they don’t give me what I want or think I need because I usually don’t know what I need but what I want, and those things aren’t always the same.

How does the New Testament instruct us on discipling people? Did they use classes, one-on-one, groups, mentoring, or a combination?

Many of us do not fully understand how people grew in the New Testament and how that should shape the life of our churches today.

What is the rhythm of classes? Are we doing them as a one-off to meet a specific need, or will they become a regular rhythm in our church? This is important to identify before you begin something because it makes it easier to stop or pivot without hurting the feelings of those who are excited about classes.

The last question that I think you need to work through is possibly the most important, and hopefully, as a church, you already have an answer for it.

Here it is:

One question every church must answer.

What do you believe a healthy, mature follower of Jesus does and is? This question should shape every ministry you do, every program you create, and every outreach you attempt should be aimed towards this, along with all your sermons and resources.

Too many churches do not have a clear answer to this, which shows their ministries’ confusion and what they are shooting for.

The most important question for every church to answer.

Now, for my soapbox.

Most of the people, not all, who ask for classes in a church are church people who want more knowledge when the reality is, those people are ready to lead and disciple others, but they’d rather stay comfortable and take in more bible stuff. Hands down, the best growth anyone can have as a follower of Jesus is disciplining someone, not sitting in a class. More spiritual growth will happen from having conversations with someone who is not yet a follower of Jesus than any class will ever give a person, but a class is more accessible.

7 questions to help your church grow spiritually.

Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2022

3 Questions to Lead Your Church into the Future

by Josh Reich

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Covid gave the church some opportunities.

Yes, I know that statement might seem odd because it has sped things up and made a lot of things about being a pastor more difficult. But, leading your church into the future has many potential opportunities if you look for them.

What are they?

While there are some universal ones, some are just for your church.

How to not miss the opportunities waiting for your church.

First, you have to decide to embrace it. Many pastors are trying to get back to what it was, getting people back into the room, etc.

You can’t go back. And while some things about the past are nice, there are some things you’d like to leave in the past.

Where is your church? Once you know, you can lead her into the future.

Second, you need to know exactly where your church is. Many pastors don’t know who is a part of their church, who is still engaged, or what things are or are not working.

Too many pastors make decisions based on feelings. It feels full, and that service felt good. But, you can’t lead simply on what feels full or good.

I would encourage you to pull your team together. Whether that is staff, volunteers, elders, or a combination of these. Ask them some simple questions about every ministry (kids, students, groups, worship, outreach, etc.):

3 questions every church needs to be asking right now.

Why did we start this? Everything your church does begins with a need (or it should). Someone saw a need and started something to meet that need.

Do you know why you do everything that you do as a church? This is the time for every ministry and program to be clear on why it exists and why it is taking staffing and resources. Gone are the days when churches could do all things.

Does it still meet that need? Once you know what needs you are trying to reach or what caused you to start doing something as a church, you can ask the following question: Does it still meet that need? Is that still a need we are called to meet? The reality is that just because it is a need or a good idea doesn’t mean your church needs to complete it or do it. Also, just because you used to meet that need doesn’t mean you must keep meeting that need. Maybe you no longer have the vision or passion or lack a leader or skill set to do it well.

One of my favorite questions is, What problem created the meeting that resulted in this answer? Every ministry or program or way of doing church started with a problem. That problem resulted in getting some people in a room to solve it. What came out of that meeting is the way your church does church.

Every leader must regularly ask, “Is that still a problem for us to solve? If so, what is the best way to solve it?”

You see, it might not be your problem to solve; it may not be a problem anymore. The things you started 10-20 years ago may no longer be issues or things your church is passionate about.

3 questions every pastor needs to be asking right now.

Posted on Tuesday, August 9, 2022

How to Build Healthy Community

by Josh Reich

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

All of us need community and friendships. Yet, if we’re honest, most of us do not put the time and effort into them that we should. I know that I can slack off, and when I need or want more friends, it is easy to get frustrated.

As I look at my own life, I think two things that get us into trouble are:

We don’t know the kind of relationships that we need.
We put too much pressure on relationships, thinking they all need to be deep, lifelong friendships.

Recently, I read The Resilient Pastor: Leading Your Church in a Rapidly Changing World by Glenn Packiam, and he uses Frodo and The Lord of the Rings to help us see the kinds of friendships we need.

As you read through this, ask yourself a few questions:

Do you have these kinds of people and friends in your life?
If you’re missing someone, how do you fill that space?
What roles do you play in the lives of others?

The first category that Packiam talks about is The Sage. This is Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings. The wise wizard who appears at all the right moments. The sage represents the wisdom of those who have gone before you. People who are further along, older than you, more mature, have more life experience and deeper faith than you.

You are further along than someone; you are more mature than someone.

You need a sage, and you might be a sage to someone else.

The sage isn’t necessarily the superstar, but they are steady and persistent.

Who is your sage?

The next category is Companions. For Frodo, this is Merry and Pippin, and Samwise. Faithful, loyal friends.

These are the people you call at 3 am when your life falls apart; these are the first ones you call when you need help or hit a tragedy. These are also the first people who call you when you play this role for them.

Who do you call when your life falls apart?

Sam never leaves Frodo’s side. Even telling Frodo, “I can’t carry the ring for you, but I can carry you.”

What a line.

We all need those kinds of friends, the kind of friends who carry us.

Who are the people who walk with you? Who do you walk with? Who do you reach out to when your life falls apart? Who calls you when their life falls apart?

Similar to this is Peers. For Frodo, these are the dwarves and the elves.

They know what Frodo is doing, they fight alongside him in the war, but they aren’t carrying what Frodo is carrying.

Our paths cross, but we live different lives, and that’s okay. They might be other parents at school functions, sporting events, co-workers, or neighbors.

Often, we don’t think much about this relationship, but it is crucial. We often put too much pressure on relationships; we believe every relationship has to be deep or take a lot of time, but we need people we pop in and out of life with.

The next category for Frodo is the King. In middle earth, this is Aragorn.

Think of the King as the person who can tell you no.

Who in your life can tell you no?

This is a person that carries some authority in your life.

They may be able to stop you from doing something, or they might have moral authority in your life that if they said, “You shouldn’t do that,” it would give you pause.

Who in your life has the power and influence to tell you that you are wrong or making a bad decision?

The last thing we need in our community is a Healer. In Lord of the rings this is Elrond and Arwen, the elvish healers.

This could be a counselor, spiritual director, group leader, or friend who can speak to our pain and wounds. Who looks you in the eye and says, “that’s hard, that stinks what you walked through; you shouldn’t have to go through that.”

This person can also hold up a mirror to you, help us see our sins in situations, and help us have needed perspective.

The 5 relationships we need in our relational circle.

Who is missing in your circle?

Again, ask yourself these questions:

Do you have each of these kinds of people and friends in your life?
If you’re missing someone, how do you fill that space?
What roles do you play in the lives of others?

Posted on Thursday, July 14, 2022

Red Flags in a Job Search

by Josh Reich

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

So, you’re searching for a job. You are excited, talking with churches and maybe narrowing down the list of potential places to move.

It is easy in a job search to talk yourself into a place. You might imagine that it is better than where you are, or that you can be the hero that finally does what no other pastor did before at that church. Don’t buy those mirages. Make sure you ask the right questions to find a church’s heart.

But, how do you see through your emotions and desires to see red flags that you might be missing?

Now, before listing these out, let me say these red flags aren’t necessarily a reason not to take a job, but things you need to pay attention to, even though they aren’t always obvious.

Red flags to pay attention to in a job search.

You don’t want to live there. I think this is a big deal. I remember talking to a large church in the midwest. I clicked with the elders and team there, and they were renovating their building and making it more prominent, but as I talked with Katie about it, she said, “But you don’t want to live there.” I got defensive and started to tell her all the reasons we wanted to be at that church, and then she said, “But you’d still have to live there.”

Now, we don’t always get to choose where we live, and sometimes, the doors to the place we want to live don’t open. We tried in our search to move to several areas that were closed to us. Sometimes, the family determines where you can or can’t live. But, as a pastor, you need to live in that place and love the people and the culture that makes up that place.

Make sure you want to live there, and that you like the worst season of the year there. Because it will be winter, or a blazing hot and humid summer.

The elders are mad at the previous pastor. In my first conversation, I could tell the elders were still angry at the last pastor in one church I talked to in our search. They weren’t mad at what he did or carried any bitterness from his time; they were furious that he left them.

Listen to how the people talk about the previous pastor and what stories they tell. Do they tell stories of a mythical time you won’t be able to replicate? Do they tell stories of hurt? Anger? Bitterness? This is a red flag because some churches are so hurt and don’t know it. Some churches need more time without a pastor to truly understand what they had and took for granted. Some churches must deal with their hurt and not take it out on the next pastor.

When interviewing with a church, pay attention to how a church talks about the previous pastor.

As a pastor, you need to know what you are walking into in this regard. You will be the one to pastor these people through whatever feelings they have about the previous pastor(s).

Tons of turnover. Ask about staff, elder, and volunteer turnover. One church I talked to had over 50% of its staff turnover in three years. No matter how big or small the staff, that’s a significant number. In this church, it was over 20 staff members. When I asked questions about it, there were good reasons and stories. However, it also revealed some things about the culture. It is easy to spiritualize staff transitions in a church, but you must ask questions about it and what it reveals about the culture.

Tons of staff turnover at a church tells a story.

Long-tenured staff. The flip side of the turnover coin is a staff with no turnover.

While this can be a healthy thing for staff, it can also be a red flag for a new staff member coming in. What has happened to previous new employees? Did they last? Why or why not? How open is this staff to new ideas and ways of doing things?

You meet someone you don’t click with. Depending on who this person is, it may not matter. But pay attention to people you don’t connect with in an interview process. Are they powerful? Influential? What rubbed you the wrong way?

This person will one day be a part of your staff, board, or church, so make sure you click with people.

They don’t want to change. Every church that hires a new pastor says, “We want to change and reach new people.” But do they? Like all things a church says, ask questions about it. Ask what change means to them, what kind of new people they want to reach, and what things they are willing to change and not change for this to happen.

How to know if a church wants to change.

Lastly, talk yourself out of it.

Here’s what I mean. A friend who does a ton of hiring for his job told me that one of the things he encourages search teams to do is to figure out why they wouldn’t hire a candidate. Just like it’s easy to talk yourself into a job, it is easy to talk yourself into a candidate. So, create a list of why you shouldn’t move or take a position. Do some opposition research on a place. If you have difficulty doing that, ask your spouse or a friend to help you with it. They might see things you don’t see.

7 red flags to pay attention to when you’re interviewing with a church.

Posted on Thursday, June 16, 2022

How to Not be Productive on Vacation

by Josh Reich

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

Many of us are good about planning our work and family lives. We have to-do lists and routines for how we accomplish things. The problem is that we don’t have that same level of planning and intentionality when we rest, go on vacation or try not to be productive.

The longer I’m in leadership, the most important thing to do on vacation and the sabbath is not to be productive. As a leader, this is hard and one of the most important things to keep in mind.

The most important thing to do on vacation and sabbath is not to be productive.

It isn’t decisions, meetings, counseling, or preaching that tires me out (although that can do it sometimes), but it is the production of things. I feel the pressure (real or imagined) to produce something, to prepare something.

To be productive.

How do you stop producing and rest? How can you take a weekend off? How do you turn your mind off from it? From the pressure, the deadlines?

I’ll be honest. Every week, this is my biggest struggle (when I’m trying to take my Sabbath day). I can survive without social media and email. But planning ahead helps me be intentional about not thinking about work, and being willing to not read a book for a sermon or leadership and stop producing.

I feel guilty about it.

But it is necessary and vital to your health as a leader, your family, and your church.

Here are five things I’ve learned that might be helpful for you this weekend and on your next vacation:

1. Decide ahead of time what unproductive will mean and entail. This might sound counterintuitive, but the first step to being unproductive is to be productive. Set yourself up to succeed.

If you are married, sit down with your spouse and ask them, “If I was unproductive for a weekend, a week, two weeks, a month, what would that mean? What would we do?” Leaders struggle to rest because of the constant movement of ministry and leadership. It is addicting. As much as my heart, mind, and body need a break from preaching, I get antsy and have a hard time functioning when I take a break. That is a sign that I need it, but it’s also a sign that I have some heart work to do around that.

To be truly unproductive, you must decide what that will mean.

For me, here are some things that being unproductive means: no blogging or writing, no leadership or theology books (I read spy novels or historical books on vacation), sleeping in (or letting Katie sleep in), taking naps, extended game time with my kids, ample time with friends, being outside.

Answer this simple question: What would refresh me and recharge me? Are there certain people who will do that? Spend time with them.

Too many pastors work on vacation and prepare for upcoming things (you need to plan that for a different time). Your weekend or vacation is for refreshment, recharging, and reconnecting with your family in another way.

2. Set yourself up for success. If you don’t decide ahead of time, you’ll come back from vacation exhausted and then tell people around you, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

How to not need a vacation from your vacation.

One of the things we’ve done in years past is for me to take a one or two-night retreat at a monastery before we go away. Leaders have a way of crashing at the start of vacation. I’d rather do this alone than crash on my family. It starts your time off on the right foot.

If you are tired of the church or have difficulty going to church without thinking about your church (which happens more than you think), take a Sunday off and sleep in. Watch a podcast (but not for ministry purposes).

The bottom line is if you know and have decided how to be unproductive, it makes it easier to reach it. It increases the likelihood of resting and recharging.

One of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to take social media and email off your phone. In fact, on vacation, Katie changes my passwords so I can’t even get on them in a moment of weakness (which never happens).

At the end of your week, finish things up. Set up some ritual at the end of the day or week that says, “I’m done. I’ve done all that I can, the rest is in God’s hands” so that you can be done mentally and emotionally.

3. Give yourself grace. Because you are a leader and are trained to be productive and critical, you will struggle not to be effective and not critical. When you think about work, a person, a situation, give yourself grace and then move on.

When you start to think about work, write it down and let it go on your time off. Give yourself a moment to reconnect to being off and be okay with that. Your weekend or vacation isn’t ruined at that moment. It can be if you let it, but it isn’t yet.

4. Get out of town. This isn’t always possible but get out of town if you can. There are so many retreat centers and housing for pastors and their families that you can do this inexpensively. We stayed at the same place in San Diego for four different years and then multiple years in Huntington Beach, and each time it was free or cheap. Plan (and Google pastor’s retreat) and start making calls. Our kids look forward every year to vacation because we’ve planned it. This also means we don’t do things during the year for this time to happen, but we got out of town when I was making less than $500 a week (and working four jobs) planting our church. So you can do it!

Find fun things to do on your weekend if that will recharge you. Go swimming, hike, go to a fair or a market. Get moving. You may stay in your town but get out of your house. Changing the scenery is crucial to resting and recharging.

5. Your church will be fine. Many pastors fear leaving their church as if they are the glue that holds their church together. If you are a church planter, you are the glue for much of your church but not all of it. You can get away for a long weekend or a week, and everything will be fine.

Too many pastors live with the pressure that someone will be mad if they take a week off. They might, but you’ll live. They get vacation time, too.

Often pastors will ask me, “What do I do if I don’t have someone to preach?” Simple, show a video sermon of someone. Download a Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, or Craig Groeschel sermon and show that. Better yet, download four and take four Sundays off from preaching.

A refreshed pastor, leads a refreshed church.

Let me tell you why this matters: A refreshed pastor leads a refreshed church.

A tired pastor leads a tired church.

A tired pastor, leads a tired church.

Posted on Monday, May 2, 2022

How to Survive Monday as a Pastor

by Josh Reich

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It’s Monday.

For most pastors, worship leaders, kids, and student pastors, this means the hardest and worst day of the week. Sadly, many pastors resign on Monday.

There are a variety of reasons why Mondays are so hard for pastors:

In the spiritual sense, what we do is warfare. You may have had to deal with a relational battle yesterday. You prayed with people, counseled people, and are carrying their burdens and weight. You have shepherded them through difficulties, wept with them, challenged them to walk away from sin, and watched people destroy their lives one step at a time.
You slept terribly on Saturday night as you thought about the day, got up early, and then slept poorly on Sunday night as you were simply too tired to sleep or you are carrying criticisms and weights from the conversations you had.
Leading worship, preaching, and talking with people is incredible and the highlight of my week but it is also incredibly exhausting all at the same time. You physically have nothing left after a Sunday. You probably have nothing left spiritually, emotionally, or relationally to give as well.
There is a good chance you woke up on Monday to a pile of emails from angry people, or people leaving your church, or thinking about leaving your church. You may have some fires brewing that you are wondering if you can handle. Maybe there is an elder or a staff member or volunteer that is a thorn in your side. And you are tired.

So what do you do?

While every Monday doesn’t feel like this and isn’t this hard, many of them are. Because of this, many pastors take Monday off. If you do, that’s fine. But I feel like that is making a hard day worse. Your family doesn’t want you around if you are going to be angry, grumpy, and have a short temper.

Here are a few things that have helped me and my family survive Mondays:

Get out of bed. While I don’t set my alarm most Mondays, you definitely don’t want to sleep too long. Get moving as soon as you can.

Know that Tuesday is coming. Most of the things that seem insurmountable on Monday look easy on Tuesday. I’m amazed at how often I get stressed about things and in 3 weeks’ time I have forgotten about them.

Get a workout, bike ride, hike, or run in. I know, you are tired and can barely move. The adrenaline from preaching is hard to deal with the older I get. I actually do yoga every Sunday afternoon as a way to breathe, calm down and pray. Get going, do something active. It gets your blood moving and you are in a better mood afterward.

Take a nap. You should take a nap on Monday. You will probably have very little steam by the end of the day, so lay down.

Pray for your people. Know that while you are tired, they are also tired as they walk into their worlds today. Pray for their faithfulness, courage to follow Jesus, and the burdens they are carrying in their lives. I know that you do this, but praying for them also helps to remind you of why you do what you do and keeps you focused on others on a day that is easy to throw a pity party.

Work on your soul. Read something that speaks to your soul. You preached your heart out, gave everything you had to students and kids, led worship with everything you had, and now you need to feed yourself. Monday is a great time to listen to a sermon by someone else to be challenged.

How to work on your heart as a pastor.

Don’t be around anyone that makes you angry. On Monday, you have a short fuse so do yourself and others a favor and only be around people you like. The fallout from not following this can be bad for everyone involved. If you can, connect with a friend or someone who is life-giving to you.

Do administrative stuff. Don’t have a meeting on Monday, don’t counsel anyone. I know lots of leaders like to evaluate on Monday because it is fresh, but write it down, and talk about it on Tuesday. Return some emails, blog, following up with guests, and new believers, those are fun and invigorating for a pastor.

Serve your wife. You were probably a bear to be around at some point on Saturday or Sunday. She was a single mom on Sunday with your kids while you worked and she is just as tired as you are. I know you don’t believe me and think your job is harder, let’s say it is even. Ask how you can serve her.

You have the privilege to do it again in 6 days. That may not seem like a privilege on Monday, but believe me, it is. God has chosen you to preach, lead worship, teach, counsel, shepherd, set up, greet, help kids follow Jesus, and talk with students through hard situations. He chose you and uses you. So, when Monday is hard, remember, God could’ve picked someone else. And you could’ve said no. Since God called and you said yes, get back up on the horse and get ready!

How to survive Monday as a Pastor.