3 Questions to Lead Your Church into the Future

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

Covid gave the church some opportunities.

Yes, I know that statement might seem odd because it has sped things up and made a lot of things about being a pastor more difficult. But, leading your church into the future has many potential opportunities if you look for them.

What are they?

While there are some universal ones, some are just for your church.

First, you have to decide to embrace it. Many pastors are trying to get back to what it was, getting people back into the room, etc.

You can’t go back. And while some things about the past are nice, there are some things you’d like to leave in the past.

Second, you need to know exactly where your church is. Many pastors don’t know who is a part of their church, who is still engaged, or what things are or are not working.

Too many pastors make decisions based on feelings. It feels full, and that service felt good. But, you can’t lead simply on what feels full or good.

I would encourage you to pull your team together. Whether that is staff, volunteers, elders, or a combination of these. Ask them some simple questions about every ministry (kids, students, groups, worship, outreach, etc.):

Why did we start this? Everything your church does begins with a need (or it should). Someone saw a need and started something to meet that need.

Do you know why you do everything that you do as a church? This is the time for every ministry and program to be clear on why it exists and why it is taking staffing and resources. Gone are the days when churches could do all things.

Does it still meet that need? Once you know what needs you are trying to reach or what caused you to start doing something as a church, you can ask the following question: Does it still meet that need? Is that still a need we are called to meet? The reality is that just because it is a need or a good idea doesn’t mean your church needs to complete it or do it. Also, just because you used to meet that need doesn’t mean you must keep meeting that need. Maybe you no longer have the vision or passion or lack a leader or skill set to do it well.

One of my favorite questions is, What problem created the meeting that resulted in this answer? Every ministry or program or way of doing church started with a problem. That problem resulted in getting some people in a room to solve it. What came out of that meeting is the way your church does church.

Every leader must regularly ask, “Is that still a problem for us to solve? If so, what is the best way to solve it?”

You see, it might not be your problem to solve; it may not be a problem anymore. The things you started 10-20 years ago may no longer be issues or things your church is passionate about.

How to Build Healthy Community

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

All of us need community and friendships. Yet, if we’re honest, most of us do not put the time and effort into them that we should. I know that I can slack off, and when I need or want more friends, it is easy to get frustrated.

As I look at my own life, I think two things that get us into trouble are:

  1. We don’t know the kind of relationships that we need.
  2. We put too much pressure on relationships, thinking they all need to be deep, lifelong friendships.

Recently, I read The Resilient Pastor: Leading Your Church in a Rapidly Changing World by Glenn Packiam, and he uses Frodo and The Lord of the Rings to help us see the kinds of friendships we need. 

As you read through this, ask yourself a few questions:

  • Do you have these kinds of people and friends in your life?
  • If you’re missing someone, how do you fill that space?
  • What roles do you play in the lives of others?

The first category that Packiam talks about is The Sage. This is Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings. The wise wizard who appears at all the right moments. The sage represents the wisdom of those who have gone before you. People who are further along, older than you, more mature, have more life experience and deeper faith than you. 

You are further along than someone; you are more mature than someone. 

You need a sage, and you might be a sage to someone else. 

The sage isn’t necessarily the superstar, but they are steady and persistent. 

Who is your sage?

The next category is Companions. For Frodo, this is Merry and Pippin, and Samwise. Faithful, loyal friends. 

These are the people you call at 3 am when your life falls apart; these are the first ones you call when you need help or hit a tragedy. These are also the first people who call you when you play this role for them. 

Sam never leaves Frodo’s side. Even telling Frodo, “I can’t carry the ring for you, but I can carry you.” 

What a line. 

We all need those kinds of friends, the kind of friends who carry us. 

Who are the people who walk with you? Who do you walk with? Who do you reach out to when your life falls apart? Who calls you when their life falls apart?

Similar to this is Peers. For Frodo, these are the dwarves and the elves. 

They know what Frodo is doing, they fight alongside him in the war, but they aren’t carrying what Frodo is carrying. 

Our paths cross, but we live different lives, and that’s okay. They might be other parents at school functions, sporting events, co-workers, or neighbors. 

Often, we don’t think much about this relationship, but it is crucial. We often put too much pressure on relationships; we believe every relationship has to be deep or take a lot of time, but we need people we pop in and out of life with. 

The next category for Frodo is the King. In middle earth, this is Aragorn. 

Think of the King as the person who can tell you no. 

This is a person that carries some authority in your life. 

They may be able to stop you from doing something, or they might have moral authority in your life that if they said, “You shouldn’t do that,” it would give you pause. 

Who in your life has the power and influence to tell you that you are wrong or making a bad decision?

The last thing we need in our community is a Healer. In Lord of the rings this is Elrond and Arwen, the elvish healers. 

This could be a counselor, spiritual director, group leader, or friend who can speak to our pain and wounds. Who looks you in the eye and says, “that’s hard, that stinks what you walked through; you shouldn’t have to go through that.”

This person can also hold up a mirror to you, help us see our sins in situations, and help us have needed perspective.

Who is missing in your circle?

Again, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you have each of these kinds of people and friends in your life?
  • If you’re missing someone, how do you fill that space?
  • What roles do you play in the lives of others?

Red Flags in a Job Search

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

So, you’re searching for a job. You are excited, talking with churches and maybe narrowing down the list of potential places to move. 

It is easy in a job search to talk yourself into a place. You might imagine that it is better than where you are, or that you can be the hero that finally does what no other pastor did before at that church. Don’t buy those mirages. Make sure you ask the right questions to find a church’s heart. 

But, how do you see through your emotions and desires to see red flags that you might be missing?

Now, before listing these out, let me say these red flags aren’t necessarily a reason not to take a job, but things you need to pay attention to, even though they aren’t always obvious. 

You don’t want to live there. I think this is a big deal. I remember talking to a large church in the midwest. I clicked with the elders and team there, and they were renovating their building and making it more prominent, but as I talked with Katie about it, she said, “But you don’t want to live there.” I got defensive and started to tell her all the reasons we wanted to be at that church, and then she said, “But you’d still have to live there.” 

Now, we don’t always get to choose where we live, and sometimes, the doors to the place we want to live don’t open. We tried in our search to move to several areas that were closed to us. Sometimes, the family determines where you can or can’t live. But, as a pastor, you need to live in that place and love the people and the culture that makes up that place. 

Make sure you want to live there, and that you like the worst season of the year there. Because it will be winter, or a blazing hot and humid summer. 

The elders are mad at the previous pastor. In my first conversation, I could tell the elders were still angry at the last pastor in one church I talked to in our search. They weren’t mad at what he did or carried any bitterness from his time; they were furious that he left them. 

Listen to how the people talk about the previous pastor and what stories they tell. Do they tell stories of a mythical time you won’t be able to replicate? Do they tell stories of hurt? Anger? Bitterness? This is a red flag because some churches are so hurt and don’t know it. Some churches need more time without a pastor to truly understand what they had and took for granted. Some churches must deal with their hurt and not take it out on the next pastor. 

As a pastor, you need to know what you are walking into in this regard. You will be the one to pastor these people through whatever feelings they have about the previous pastor(s). 

Tons of turnover. Ask about staff, elder, and volunteer turnover. One church I talked to had over 50% of its staff turnover in three years. No matter how big or small the staff, that’s a significant number. In this church, it was over 20 staff members. When I asked questions about it, there were good reasons and stories. However, it also revealed some things about the culture. It is easy to spiritualize staff transitions in a church, but you must ask questions about it and what it reveals about the culture. 

Long-tenured staff. The flip side of the turnover coin is a staff with no turnover. 

While this can be a healthy thing for staff, it can also be a red flag for a new staff member coming in. What has happened to previous new employees? Did they last? Why or why not? How open is this staff to new ideas and ways of doing things?

You meet someone you don’t click with. Depending on who this person is, it may not matter. But pay attention to people you don’t connect with in an interview process. Are they powerful? Influential? What rubbed you the wrong way? 

This person will one day be a part of your staff, board, or church, so make sure you click with people. 

They don’t want to change. Every church that hires a new pastor says, “We want to change and reach new people.” But do they? Like all things a church says, ask questions about it. Ask what change means to them, what kind of new people they want to reach, and what things they are willing to change and not change for this to happen. 

Lastly, talk yourself out of it. 

Here’s what I mean. A friend who does a ton of hiring for his job told me that one of the things he encourages search teams to do is to figure out why they wouldn’t hire a candidate. Just like it’s easy to talk yourself into a job, it is easy to talk yourself into a candidate. So, create a list of why you shouldn’t move or take a position. Do some opposition research on a place. If you have difficulty doing that, ask your spouse or a friend to help you with it. They might see things you don’t see. 

How to Not be Productive on Vacation

Many of us are good about planning our work and family lives. We have to-do lists and routines for how we accomplish things. The problem is that we don’t have that same level of planning and intentionality when we rest, go on vacation or try not to be productive.

The longer I’m in leadership, the most important thing to do on vacation and the sabbath is not to be productive. As a leader, this is hard and one of the most important things to keep in mind.

It isn’t decisions, meetings, counseling, or preaching that tires me out (although that can do it sometimes), but it is the production of things. I feel the pressure (real or imagined) to produce something, to prepare something.

To be productive.

How do you stop producing and rest? How can you take a weekend off? How do you turn your mind off from it? From the pressure, the deadlines?

I’ll be honest. Every week, this is my biggest struggle (when I’m trying to take my Sabbath day). I can survive without social media and email. But planning ahead helps me be intentional about not thinking about work, and being willing to not read a book for a sermon or leadership and stop producing.

I feel guilty about it.

But it is necessary and vital to your health as a leader, your family, and your church.

Here are five things I’ve learned that might be helpful for you this weekend and on your next vacation:

1. Decide ahead of time what unproductive will mean and entail. This might sound counterintuitive, but the first step to being unproductive is to be productive. Set yourself up to succeed.

If you are married, sit down with your spouse and ask them, “If I was unproductive for a weekend, a week, two weeks, a month, what would that mean? What would we do?” Leaders struggle to rest because of the constant movement of ministry and leadership. It is addicting. As much as my heart, mind, and body need a break from preaching, I get antsy and have a hard time functioning when I take a break. That is a sign that I need it, but it’s also a sign that I have some heart work to do around that.

For me, here are some things that being unproductive means: no blogging or writing, no leadership or theology books (I read spy novels or historical books on vacation), sleeping in (or letting Katie sleep in), taking naps, extended game time with my kids, ample time with friends, being outside.

Answer this simple question: What would refresh me and recharge me? Are there certain people who will do that? Spend time with them.

Too many pastors work on vacation and prepare for upcoming things (you need to plan that for a different time). Your weekend or vacation is for refreshment, recharging, and reconnecting with your family in another way.

2. Set yourself up for success. If you don’t decide ahead of time, you’ll come back from vacation exhausted and then tell people around you, “I need a vacation from my vacation!”

One of the things we’ve done in years past is for me to take a one or two-night retreat at a monastery before we go away. Leaders have a way of crashing at the start of vacation. I’d rather do this alone than crash on my family. It starts your time off on the right foot.

If you are tired of the church or have difficulty going to church without thinking about your church (which happens more than you think), take a Sunday off and sleep in. Watch a podcast (but not for ministry purposes).

The bottom line is if you know and have decided how to be unproductive, it makes it easier to reach it. It increases the likelihood of resting and recharging.

One of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to take social media and email off your phone. In fact, on vacation, Katie changes my passwords so I can’t even get on them in a moment of weakness (which never happens).

At the end of your week, finish things up. Set up some ritual at the end of the day or week that says, “I’m done. I’ve done all that I can, the rest is in God’s hands” so that you can be done mentally and emotionally.

3. Give yourself grace. Because you are a leader and are trained to be productive and critical, you will struggle not to be effective and not critical. When you think about work, a person, a situation, give yourself grace and then move on.

When you start to think about work, write it down and let it go on your time off. Give yourself a moment to reconnect to being off and be okay with that. Your weekend or vacation isn’t ruined at that moment. It can be if you let it, but it isn’t yet.

4. Get out of town. This isn’t always possible but get out of town if you can. There are so many retreat centers and housing for pastors and their families that you can do this inexpensively. We stayed at the same place in San Diego for four different years and then multiple years in Huntington Beach, and each time it was free or cheap. Plan (and Google pastor’s retreat) and start making calls. Our kids look forward every year to vacation because we’ve planned it. This also means we don’t do things during the year for this time to happen, but we got out of town when I was making less than $500 a week (and working four jobs) planting our church. So you can do it!

Find fun things to do on your weekend if that will recharge you. Go swimming, hike, go to a fair or a market. Get moving. You may stay in your town but get out of your house. Changing the scenery is crucial to resting and recharging.

5. Your church will be fine. Many pastors fear leaving their church as if they are the glue that holds their church together. If you are a church planter, you are the glue for much of your church but not all of it. You can get away for a long weekend or a week, and everything will be fine.

Too many pastors live with the pressure that someone will be mad if they take a week off. They might, but you’ll live. They get vacation time, too.

Often pastors will ask me, “What do I do if I don’t have someone to preach?” Simple, show a video sermon of someone. Download a Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, or Craig Groeschel sermon and show that. Better yet, download four and take four Sundays off from preaching.

Let me tell you why this matters: A refreshed pastor leads a refreshed church.

A tired pastor leads a tired church.

How to Survive Monday as a Pastor

It’s Monday.

For most pastors, worship leaders, kids, and student pastors, this means the hardest and worst day of the week. Sadly, many pastors resign on Monday.

There are a variety of reasons why Mondays are so hard for pastors:

  • In the spiritual sense, what we do is warfare. You may have had to deal with a relational battle yesterday. You prayed with people, counseled people, and are carrying their burdens and weight. You have shepherded them through difficulties, wept with them, challenged them to walk away from sin, and watched people destroy their lives one step at a time.
  • You slept terribly on Saturday night as you thought about the day, got up early, and then slept poorly on Sunday night as you were simply too tired to sleep or you are carrying criticisms and weights from the conversations you had.
  • Leading worship, preaching, and talking with people is incredible and the highlight of my week but it is also incredibly exhausting all at the same time. You physically have nothing left after a Sunday. You probably have nothing left spiritually, emotionally, or relationally to give as well.
  • There is a good chance you woke up on Monday to a pile of emails from angry people, or people leaving your church, or thinking about leaving your church. You may have some fires brewing that you are wondering if you can handle. Maybe there is an elder or a staff member or volunteer that is a thorn in your side. And you are tired.

So what do you do?

While every Monday doesn’t feel like this and isn’t this hard, many of them are. Because of this, many pastors take Monday off. If you do, that’s fine. But I feel like that is making a hard day worse. Your family doesn’t want you around if you are going to be angry, grumpy, and have a short temper.

Here are a few things that have helped me and my family survive Mondays:

Get out of bed. While I don’t set my alarm most Mondays, you definitely don’t want to sleep too long. Get moving as soon as you can.

Know that Tuesday is coming. Most of the things that seem insurmountable on Monday look easy on Tuesday. I’m amazed at how often I get stressed about things and in 3 weeks’ time I have forgotten about them.

Get a workout, bike ride, hike, or run in. I know, you are tired and can barely move. The adrenaline from preaching is hard to deal with the older I get. I actually do yoga every Sunday afternoon as a way to breathe, calm down and pray. Get going, do something active. It gets your blood moving and you are in a better mood afterward.

Take a nap. You should take a nap on Monday. You will probably have very little steam by the end of the day, so lay down.

Pray for your people. Know that while you are tired, they are also tired as they walk into their worlds today. Pray for their faithfulness, courage to follow Jesus, and the burdens they are carrying in their lives. I know that you do this, but praying for them also helps to remind you of why you do what you do and keeps you focused on others on a day that is easy to throw a pity party. 

Work on your soul. Read something that speaks to your soul. You preached your heart out, gave everything you had to students and kids, led worship with everything you had, and now you need to feed yourself. Monday is a great time to listen to a sermon by someone else to be challenged.

Don’t be around anyone that makes you angry. On Monday, you have a short fuse so do yourself and others a favor and only be around people you like. The fallout from not following this can be bad for everyone involved. If you can, connect with a friend or someone who is life-giving to you.

Do administrative stuff. Don’t have a meeting on Monday, don’t counsel anyone. I know lots of leaders like to evaluate on Monday because it is fresh, but write it down, and talk about it on Tuesday. Return some emails, blog, following up with guests, and new believers, those are fun and invigorating for a pastor.

Serve your wife. You were probably a bear to be around at some point on Saturday or Sunday. She was a single mom on Sunday with your kids while you worked and she is just as tired as you are. I know you don’t believe me and think your job is harder, let’s say it is even. Ask how you can serve her.

You have the privilege to do it again in 6 days. That may not seem like a privilege on Monday, but believe me, it is. God has chosen you to preach, lead worship, teach, counsel, shepherd, set up, greet, help kids follow Jesus, and talk with students through hard situations. He chose you and uses you. So, when Monday is hard, remember, God could’ve picked someone else. And you could’ve said no. Since God called and you said yes, get back up on the horse and get ready!

7 Things a Pastor Must Do on Easter

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Sunday is the “super bowl” of the church year. I wish we didn’t call it that, but that’s another post.

We love Easter. It is the hope of our salvation and our world. In most churches, attendance will be higher than at any other time of the year. More unchurched people will be there more than any other week.

Here are 7 things a pastor MUST do on Easter:

Fill yourself up (before and after). You will likely be tired by the time you get to Easter morning. You will be tired on the Monday after Easter. The week of Easter is filled with special services and attention to different things. Make sure you take time leading up to Easter to eat well, get some sleep, keep your exercise going, and fill your heart up. Don’t preach on an empty tank.

After Easter, make sure you fill yourself up as well. Get up and exercise on Monday morning, read your bible, and listen to worship music. Be with Jesus.

Be a pastor. Every week, I have no idea what people are carrying when they walk through the doors of our church or tune in online. Many people drag themselves to church on Easter, barely hanging on in some areas of their life. Be a pastor. Pray with people, smile at them, listen to them, walk around, and talk to people. Don’t hang out in the green room or backstage. Be a pastor.

Talk about the resurrection. You will be tempted to be cute and talk about something else for fear everyone knows about the resurrection.

Don’t.

The resurrection is our only hope. Without it, Jesus is still in the grave, and our faith is in vain (1 Corinthians 15:14). Without the hope of the resurrection, sin, and death can defeat us. The world will not be made right without the resurrection. Marriages cannot be saved, addictions cannot be defeated, and identities cannot be changed.

Challenge them. Don’t be afraid. Step up to the plate and tell them, “Today is the day.” For some, they need to be challenged to come back. For others, they need to be challenged to follow Jesus.

Remind them. While some will need to be challenged, some will need to be reminded that God loves and cares for them, that God has not forgotten them, that God has not left them, or that God is not disappointed in them.

Invite them back. I’m amazed at how many church services I’ve been to, and no one invited me back next week. Tell them, “I look forward to seeing you back next week.” Be friendly, walk around, and say hi to people. Lead the way in how your church should be welcoming.

Put as much effort into next week as you did this week. Easter was great, and you will be tired, but people will return to your church the following Sunday. Put as much effort into that. Hopefully, you started a new series on Easter that they want to hear part 2 of. Be ready.

How to Prepare Your Heart for the New Ministry Year

grayscale photo of person reading book

There are many different blogs about preparing for the new year, setting goals, and setting your word for the year. And I hope you are diving into those.

But I want to help you how to prepare your heart for the next year of ministry.

Here’s why this matters: Recently, Barna revealed that 38% of pastors have seriously thought about leaving the ministry in the past year. That is a staggering stat. And it makes sense. The last two years have been incredibly hard for everyone, especially pastors. And while I haven’t thought about leaving the ministry in the past year, I have thought about it at other times.

There is a good chance you are part of that or on the edge of feeling like that. Or maybe, you are excited and hopeful for the following year. No matter where you find yourself, I want to encourage you to spend some time before the new year and prepare your heart for the coming year.

So, as you prepare for the New Year, here are some things I’m asking myself and would encourage you to ask:

1. How am I doing? Really? Be honest if you are tired, burned out, sad, exhausted, or angry with God or someone. Write it out. Talk with someone. Share it with God.

These last couple of years have been hard. I want to encourage you to write out or share with someone you are. If you are thinking about quitting, tell someone. If you are depressed, tell someone. If you are excited and hopeful, tell someone.

2. Why do I feel that way? What is God trying to show me? But don’t just tell someone. Instead, dig into those feelings and situations.

Many times as leaders, we don’t grieve things in our lives and face the losses we have been dealt. Over these last couple of years, we have lost friends, and relationships have shifted.

We have lost people in our churches, and maybe your attendance is down.

What is that telling you about your heart? I know for many pastors I had to face in 2020 that I liked preaching to a packed room, and there was some ego connected to that. I had to deal with that in my time with God. Whatever you are feeling, however, you are doing, what is God trying to show you in that?

3. What kind of pastor, parent, spouse, and friend does God want me to be in the next year? Each year, I encourage my church to ask themselves and spend some time with God on figuring out their word and focus for the year. I’d encourage you to do the same.

For years I have focused on one area of my life that I want to grow in or improve. A topic I want to spend more time on or read on. This doesn’t have to be ministry-related but can be if that’s helpful.

But, if you become more like Jesus in the coming year, what would that mean? What areas would you grow in or work on?

4. What relationships do I need to focus on this year? As leaders, we aren’t very good at relationships and friendships. We fill our calendars with tasks and meet people, but we don’t go deep with many people. Instead, we are helpers, guides, and leaders.

But if the last couple of years has shown me anything, it is how meaningful friendships are and how important they are for leaders.

5. What prayers am I asking God for this year? What are you asking God for this year? Do you have a list of goals, dreams, and longings?

Over the last couple of years, my prayers with God started to shift from dreaming to surviving. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been convicted recently about what I’m asking God for and praying bigger prayers.

Lastly, this isn’t a question. But I want to encourage you to pull out your calendar, schedule your Sundays off from preaching, and your family vacation this summer, and put in your retreat days. If you do not schedule these times, you will have difficulty making them happen.

Mission vs. “The Way we Do Things”

In his great book Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, Tod Bolsinger quotes James Osterhaus on the principle of Red Zone-Blue Zone decision making. 

The red zone is making decisions that are “all about me.” The blue zone is making decisions that are “all about the mission.”

One thing I see creep into churches when it comes to decisions, though, is that the mission slowly becomes the same as “the way we do things.” The line between the mission and the model slowly becomes the same line. When that happens, a church easily moves into the red zone because they make decisions to keep themselves comfortable, not make changes, or to keep power. 

The question leaders and churches need to ask themselves, according to Bolsinger, are, “Does this further our mission? Because a healthy system makes decisions that further the mission.”

Asking what furthers the mission and what furthers the way we do things are not the same question. Or, asking what furthers the mission versus what furthers the ______ (insert church name) way, are not the same question. 

Too often, churches and pastors confuse the mission and the way they do things. 

How does this happen?

Here are a few ways this creeps in:

Not having a clear mission. The first way this shows up is in not having a clear mission. If you don’t have a clear mission, this is why our church exists and what we are put on this earth to do, then it is easy to drift from that because there isn’t a right answer. 

Many churches are in this spot.

They lack clarity of mission, where they are headed, or even clarity of their strategy. And for many leaders and churches, it is easier to articulate “how” you do something instead of “why” you do something. As a result, pastors can often talk all day about how they do ministry, how they do a program but struggle to articulate why they started it, why it must keep going, why it must be this way instead of that way.  

When that happens, the way you do church becomes the mission, and you make decisions to keep your job, to stay comfortable, and to not go through the pain of change. 

Not having a clear model. Many pastors and leaders have not done the hard work of saying, “This is how we make disciples; this is how we do worship services; this is how we follow up with people.” It is far easier, they think, to bounce from one idea to another without actually asking, “How has God uniquely wired us and called us as a church for this time and place?”

God did not place you in your church or in your city to be exactly like North Point, Elevation, Saddleback, or _____. He placed you there, to be you. So, yes, learn from others, steal great ideas and implement them, but do the hard work and ask about contextualization and what makes sense for your church and your area. 

Falling in love with your model more than your mission. Leaders who do the hard work will find that their mission and model come out of their passion and story. This is one of the reasons it becomes blurry. And this is often why we fall in love with our model so easily. We created it, and it is who we are; it is what we like, what would reach us or does reach us. 

But you must stay flexible on your model (the how) and stay clear on the mission (the why). 

As Andy Stanley says, “Date the model, but marry the mission.”

Continue to ask yourself questions like:

  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • What isn’t clear?
  • What did we start 5, 10, 20 years ago that doesn’t make sense anymore?

Jesus continued to come back to the kingdom of God. That was what he talked about. That was his mission. Yet, he disappointed people, met people in different ways and through different means throughout his ministry. Paul did the same thing throughout the book of Acts. 

The mission was the same. However, the model and values shifted. 

The Most Important Minutes to a Guest at Church

Guests at a church are a big deal; they matter a lot. They are gifts from God that need to be cared for and stewarded well. Notice, I didn’t call them a visitor. Visitors are people who come and go. We don’t really like visitors to come to our house, but we love guests. So we pull out the red carpet for a guest.

To this end, are there moments that matter to a guest more than other moments in a worship service or event at a church? I think there are. There are two moments you need to pay attention to:

  • The first seven minutes they are on the church campus.
  • In the last 10 minutes they are on the church campus.

I’m not saying these are the most important moments of a church, a service, or what we think matters most. But, they are the minutes that matter the most to an unchurched guest.

In the first 7 minutes, a guest is deciding if they will come back. How easy was parking to find? How hard was it to find their child’s classroom and get them checked in? How secure was the kid’s ministry? Were the bathrooms easy to find? What about coffee and refreshments? Did someone wave and smile at them? If they are online, did someone say hi to them and tell them they were “seen?”

All of these things happen before a guest sits down or the service starts. 

In the last 10 minutes, they are asking about their fit in a church. Is anyone talking to them? How did the preaching and music speak to them? Did they find the pastor understandable? Relatable? Did he talk over their heads? Did he make them want to come back and find out more about Jesus? Did the spirit move them during the preaching and the music? Did anyone say, “I’ll see you next week?” 

Taken together, these minutes decide a guest’s opinion of the day and if they will be back.

How Pastors Miss What’s Happening in Their Church

Recently I was sitting with a group of pastors who all had the same reaction to what was going on in their churches.

Surprise.

Each pastor thought things were going relatively well before covid. They thought their church was healthy because they saw a number of people getting baptized, they met first-time guests each week and they had a full room.

Yet, the surprise came because as we have walked through covid it has revealed what is actually happening beneath the surface of our churches. It has revealed who we really are and how we are really doing.

What if you didn’t need a crisis to know what is happening in your church?

The other thing that makes this a challenge is that the longer you are at a church, the longer you are in leadership, the further you get from what is happening. And, people don’t like to give you bad news, so all you hear are good things.

As a leader you must make sure you have ways to find out how things are actually going in your church.

Here’s how:

1. Staff & volunteer turnover. The longer you lead, the more change you will see in your staff and volunteer base. This happens for all kinds of reasons: people move for a job, they transition to be closer to family, the role they were in is no longer their passion or they have outgrown it, or they haven’t kept up with the growth of the church. Not all turnover is bad.

But, all turnover is data you need to be aware of. If, in the last few years, you have had a high turnover rate in your staff, do you know why? If you do exit interviews (and you should), don’t dismiss the information you receive from them, even if you don’t like what you hear.

On the flip side of this, it can also be unhealthy if you have no new voices or leaders at the top levels of your organization. This doesn’t mean you need to promote people past their ability or fire anyone. But, the longer you are a leader the more comfortable you get with the leaders you have around you, and the less you want new voices in that circle.

Be aware of that temptation and make sure you have ways for new voices to speak into what is happening at a church.

2. Why do people stay and leave your church. This is connected to the first one. But do you know why people come to your church? Do you know what keeps them? Do you know why people are leaving your church? It isn’t always good or bad, but you need to know.

As much as possible when people leave your church, talk to them. Take them to coffee and see what you can learn from them. They may or may not want to talk with you, but it is worth trying to find out.

When someone new comes to your church and gets connected, find out what kept them. Ask them how they found you, why they came back a second time or a third time. Ask them what made them get engaged. This helps you to know what is working and not working in your church.

3. New life, groups, and baptisms. This is all about new life, about the next steps being taken.

If you haven’t seen any new groups getting started or new leaders being raised up, there is a problem with your groups, assimilation, or leadership development system. If you aren’t seeing people cross the line of faith or people getting baptized, then you need to step back and ask why.

It is easy to see a crowd in a room and think you are doing well. But you need to dig into the steps people are taking or not taking. 

Are people stepping up to volunteer and join teams? Or is it the same people who have always done it?

I know, as a leader, it is easier to pretend things are working just fine and it is hard to know after covid where people are. But your job as a leader is to know reality and define it for your church so that you can lead through it.