Posted on Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Favoritism, Faith and Getting Ahead

by Josh Reich

Favorites.

We all have them. We joke in our families about who is our favorite child or grandchild. So, we know what it’s like to play favorites and how that can hurt relationships.

And from an early age, we are taught to look for who is the most powerful, prestigious, or wealthiest in any room or situation. We know who people want to be around and learn that our lives can change, often for good, when we get around those people.

Now, knowing these things in relationships or at work isn’t bad. They can be helpful when you try to accomplish things or need to raise funds for something.

But the question Jesus poses through various parables and James’s question in chapter 2 is, “Does this knowledge influence how you treat people?” Wrapped up in James 2 is the reality that in the kingdom of God, the rich are brought down, and the poor are brought up. The old saying, “the ground is level at the cross.”

If you’ve been following along at my church as we’ve been going through the book of James and looking at what it means to be the best of you, in chapter 2, we see: The best of you is seen in how you treat people who can’t return the favor.

The best of you is seen in how you treat people who can’t return the favor.

Going further, the best of you is seen in how you treat people who don’t return the favor.

the best of you is seen in how you treat people who don’t return the favor.

This is because, throughout Scripture, we are told that God is the father to the fatherless, the defender of the widow (Exodus 22, Deuteronomy 10, Psalm 68).

If the gospel has changed us, we will not only treat and love people the way God does, but we will see them the way God does.

Some simple ways this might show up for you are:

Sitting with the person who eats alone.
Giving a hug or smile to a person who needs it.
Being fair and honest in your financial dealings.
Not cutting corners, lying, or trying to use people to get ahead at work or financially.
Doing biblical and wise things, not just legal, regarding finances.
Living on less so you can give more.

The question I ended with on Sunday is one we need to wrestle with: who in your life do you need to love and serve that can’t or won’t return the favor?

Who in your life do you need to love and serve that can’t or won’t return the favor?

Posted on Thursday, February 2, 2023

Gospel Centered Preaching

by Josh Reich

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

There’s been a resurgence in the last decade around the gospel.

This is a good thing.

This has helped churches have a more robust view of the gospel. We see the gospel as more than just how one is made right with God, how one is changed, and how one goes to heaven. We are seeing the gospel for Christians and how the power of the gospel changes us into who God has called us to be.

This is positive.

It has also created a new thing to complain about and judge others.

Now, preachers are gospel-centered preachers. If you want to sell a book, throw the word gospel into it. Parenting, preaching, church planting, maybe even writing a book called the gospel.

People on Twitter complain about writers and preachers who aren’t gospel-centered. Maybe, if you are a pastor, someone told you, “I’m leaving your church because you aren’t gospel-centered enough.”

When I’ve heard this, it often means, “You don’t preach the gospel the way I think the gospel should be preached.” In other words, “I think the gospel has specific components and need to be said in a certain order (i.e., the Romans road), and if you don’t say them in that order, you haven’t preached the gospel.” Or, sometimes, they want to hear the name of Jesus several times.

When I entered ministry twenty years ago, the debate was around deep and shallow preaching. People say, “I’m leaving your church because you aren’t deep enough.” The gospel-centered discussion is this generation’s deep preaching complaint in some ways.

So, if you are a pastor and get someone who comes up to you after a sermon or sends an email telling you that you aren’t gospel-centered, even though someone started following Jesus in that same sermon, what do you do?

Ask them what it means to be gospel-centered. While there are some agreed-upon components, each person has a different definition of what it means to be gospel-centered. As I said, this is about being Christ-focused or centered; for others, it is about giving a clear presentation of the gospel to follow Jesus; for some, it is about saying the name of Jesus. For others, it is about finding Jesus on every page of Scripture. For others, compare what you say to their favorite gospel-centered preacher and see if you use the exact words as Tim Keller or John Piper.

One of the best ways to learn from them and help them understand your perspective is to ask them what they think is gospel-centered. Sadly, most people who make this complaint cannot articulate it. For them, it comes down to a feeling or a sense they get from your preaching. It is essential to understand what you are talking about when you say “gospel-centered.”

At that point, you can have a conversation when terms are defined.

Lovingly tell them the gospel from your perspective. As you move forward, explain the gospel from your perspective to them. All over the New Testament, there is evidence of Peter and Paul communicating the gospel differently, depending on their audience. This is important for a pastor to keep in mind.

It is also essential to understand if someone is preaching at a conference or a church when they talk about the gospel. This is important. Many messages people point to for gospel focus happen at a conference with many pastors or Christians in a room. This differs from a week-in, week-out worship service at your local church.

The goal of preaching, from my perspective, is not a theological class. This is the goal of some conferences and can become the measuring stick for people in your church. So, it is vital to be clear when someone asks what your purpose of preaching is. Start here if you don’t have a clear answer as a pastor or a church.

Understand the fears and desires that come from someone in this conversation. When people bring up gospel-centeredness, it comes from fear and a desire to not water down Scripture.

The longer I’m in ministry, the more I see that when someone brings any complaint or question to me about anything, it is often from fear or concern. That’s a good thing.

In the end, gospel-centered preaching should always push people to a decision. It should show someone, whether they are a follower of Jesus or not, who they are apart from Jesus, their default sinful nature, and how their only hope for life, freedom, and peace is found in the power of the gospel. It should also show us God’s ultimate hope for the redemption of all things. It should show the defeat of evil and the enemy. The gospel is robust, not small.

Know that you emphasize a part of the gospel. The reality for every Christian and preacher is that we all emphasize a part of the gospel. For some, the focus is on the cross. For others, the focus is on the resurrection. For some, it is about law and obedience. Each preacher and Christian has a part of the gospel they emphasize over another part. This comes from your story, personality, church background, and other factors.

It is essential to know this and be aware of the blind spots it can create.

Recently, I spoke with someone about this topic and asked him: What is the church’s mission?

What is the mission of the church?

This is an essential question in all of this. It is easy to get into a mud-slinging debate about the gospel with someone and even think someone is beneath you as you look at them and their preaching.

The church’s mission, what you think the church exists for, determines much of what you do in a worship service, groups, and preaching.

It also determines how you communicate the gospel you preach each week. Throughout the book of Acts, Peter and Paul and the apostles contextualized the gospel based on the city and setting they were in. Same gospel, just different aspects of it depending on where they were. This is essential work as a pastor but can be easily misunderstood.

And, without realizing it, you can have different opinions on the church’s mission and what you are trying to accomplish in your Sunday morning gatherings.

Don’t stop preaching the way God has called you to preach. Be clear, passionate, and focused, and be the pastor God has called you to be.

How preaching connects to the mission of the church.

Posted on Monday, January 30, 2023

Guardrails, Temptation and Finding Freedom

by Josh Reich

Photo by Tim Swaan on Unsplash

We all have things about ourselves that we hate; something we do, things we think, things we feel, and things in our past. We spend a lot of energy trying to change these things. We hope that something will be different tomorrow. Maybe we’ll magically stop looking at porn, buying things we can’t afford or working too much, stop being so desperate for love, stop feeling lonely, and stop saying something at the wrong moment. Perhaps that memory will finally go away.

So, we read our Bibles.

Struggling with sin is the everyday Christian experience. Not because we don’t have power over sin. We do have power because of the work of Jesus on the cross in our place and rising from the dead. We have the ability through the Holy Spirit to battle our sins and win, but we often lose.

What do you do when you keep doing what you hate?

In Romans 7, we see this struggle in Paul. Tim Keller lays this out as to why this is the present Christian experience:

At the beginning of chapter 7, Paul talks in the past tense; in verse 14, he changes to the present tense.
In 7 – 13, Paul talks about sin killing him, he’s dead, but in verse 14, Paul begins talking about an ongoing struggle with sin. He is fighting sin, struggling but refuses to surrender.
In 18, Paul says, “I know that nothing good dwells in me.” Those who don’t know Jesus are unaware of being lost and sinful. Without Jesus, we think we can save ourselves or are good.
In 22, Paul says, “I delight in God’s law.” If you don’t know Jesus, you can’t delight in God’s law.
Keller concludes, “Often we repent of past sin and think it’s done, but God wants to show us how to hate it when the seeds come up again.”

To move forward in freedom, it is important to name and confess those things you do that you hate. Those struggles you battle with. To admit what dwells in you. Often we have an inflated view of our goodness, but to experience the grace, we must understand the depths of our brokenness. Otherwise, what do we need God’s grace and forgiveness for?

We must put guardrails into place to find victory over sin and temptation. Guardrails on the road are there to direct and protect. They tell us where to go and where not to go. Guardrails aren’t in the danger zone but are built in the safety zone. One of our problems and reasons we fall into temptation is because we ask, “How far is too far?” Basically, “how close can I get without sinning?” When we have this mindset, we fall into sin.

As you think about finding victory, here are a few questions to answer:

How to hate your sin and run from it.

What sin, temptation, emotion, situation, or relationship do you need to place a guardrail around? We have to identify what the battle is. Is it food, porn, going into debt, gossip, or working too much? Maybe it is a relationship where you need to have some boundaries to protect your heart or to have some wisdom in the access you give someone. We often fail to identify where a guardrail needs to be placed; if we don’t do that, we won’t protect ourselves.

What does a guardrail look like in that situation? For each person and each case, the guardrail might look different. I have a friend who, to put a guardrail around porn, doesn’t have a smartphone. Some people have cut up their credit cards not to overbuy; maybe they stop going to a place or putting themselves in a situation. Yes, God promises to give us a way out of every temptation, but sometimes, that way is not showing up or opening yourself up to that opportunity. If the thing you are placing a guardrail around involves someone else, let them speak about what the guardrail might be.

What freedom will a guardrail lead to? I think this is a crucial step. What will a life of freedom look like if you place a guardrail around that situation or thing? This focus can be compelling as you work through the complicated steps toward freedom.

3 questions to help you fight sin and temptation.

Posted on Monday, January 23, 2023

How to Let Go of Shame

by Josh Reich

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

All of us, to one degree or another, carry around the shame of things we’ve done, something done to us. Things we’ve said, things said to us—things we wished we had done and want to, that others had done. Shame shows up in many places and with all kinds of people.

We often overlook how much shame shapes our identity and lives. It becomes a driving force in our lives, how we work and how we relate to others and God.

Where does shame come from? To move forward in freedom, we must know where the broken places began.

John Piper says shame comes from three causes:

Guilt. This is the one many of us know well. The addiction, the hidden sin, the abuse we don’t talk about, the affair, the divorce, the poor parenting, our failure at work and in life. We carry guilt for ourselves and, often without thinking, for others. When guilt becomes public knowledge, we have shame. Now we are known for what we have feared.
Shortcomings. Shortcomings and failures are something all of us experience. Some of them are real, and others are imagined. Some are life-shaping, and other shortcomings we shrug off. It is the ones that are life-shaping that lead to shame. When our frame of mind says, “You are a failure, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t beautiful, strong enough, or worthwhile,” we experience shame.
Improprieties. These are the experiences in our life where we feel silly, look stupid, or are embarrassed. We make a mistake, and it feels like everyone knows about it.

These stories, experiences, and parts of our story become so much a part of us that, for many, we can’t imagine living life without them. We are the person this happened to, we are the experience that we walked through. We carry that, and we know that experience, and so often, it is hard to even imagine moving forward without our shame.

What do you do with your shame?

According to Romans 10:11, if you are a follower of Jesus, you will not be put to shame.

Yet shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

Shame is a driving factor in the lives of so many.

Here are six ways to move forward from your shame:

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

1. Name your shame. If you don’t name something, it takes ownership of you. This is a crucial step. You must name the hurt, the guilt, the shortcoming, the impropriety, the embarrassment, the abuse, the loss, the misstep, and the sin. If you don’t, you stay stuck.

Whatever you can’t name in your life takes ownership of you.

I’ve met countless people who couldn’t say the name of an ex, name the situation of hurt or talk about something. This doesn’t mean you are a victim or wallow in your pain, but naming something is crucial. Without this first step, the others become difficult to impossible.

The saying, “Whatever we don’t own, owns us,” applies here. This is a crucial, crucial step.

2. Identify the emotions attached to it. When we are hurt, we are emotionally wrecked and can’t see a way forward. We know that we are broken, and that life isn’t as we’d hoped, but we aren’t sure what to do.

What emotions are attached to your shame? Is it guilt? Loss? Failure? Missed opportunity? Sadness? Hopelessness? Indifference?

Name them.

Name the emotion that goes with your abuse, abandonment, divorce, failed business, dropping out of school, or not meeting your expectations or the expectations of someone else.

We often feel shame when we have a different emotion attached to it, but shame is far more familiar. Do you feel neglected or hurt, or sad? What emotion is conjured up from memory?

3. Confess the sins that are there. Do you always sin when you feel shameful? No. Sometimes it is a misplaced shame. It is a shame you have no business owning. You didn’t sin; someone else sinned against you.

Sometimes, though, there is a sin on your part. You may have sinned, and that’s why you feel shame. Sometimes your sin might be holding on to that person or situation.

Sometimes you must confess that your shame keeps you from moving forward and is keeping you stuck.

Bring those sins to light.

4. Grieve the loss. When we have shame, there is a loss. This loss might be a missed opportunity or missed happiness. It might be more significant than that and be a forgotten childhood, a loss of your 20s, a loss of health, or a job opportunity.

It might be a relationship that will never be, something you can never go back to.

As you think about your shame, what did you lose? What did you miss out on? What did that situation prevent you from doing or experiencing? What hurt do you carry around? What will never be the same because of that situation?

5. Name what you want. This one is new for me, but it concerns your desires.

Often the reason we stay stuck is that we know what stuck is. We don’t know what the future holds. Beyond that, we don’t know what we want.

We carry shame around from a relationship with a father who walked out. Do you want a relationship? Do you want to be in touch?

We carry shame from a failed business. Do you want to get back in the game?

Can you name what you want in the situation associated with your shame?

Sadly, many people cannot.

If you can’t name what you want or identify a desire, you will struggle to move forward.

6. Identify what God wants you to know about Him. When we carry around shame, we carry around a lie. In identifying that lie, we recognize the truth God wants us to know about Him.

If you feel unloved, the truth that God wants you to know is that you are loved. If you feel unwanted, God wants you to know you are wanted. If you feel dirty, God wants you to see the truth that in Him, you are clean.

Scripture tells us that God is a Father, that He is as close to us as a mother nursing her child, and that God is compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, gracious, tender, firm, and for us.

The list goes on and on.

In that list, though, is the truth, the antidote to your shame, and what you need to remind yourself of to move forward and live into the freedom of Jesus.

6 ways to move forward from your shame.

Freedom is hard.

Let’s be honest; freedom is difficult. Living in sin, shame, guilt, and regret is easy. It is what we know. It is where most people live and reside.

Freedom is scary. Freedom is unknown. Freedom leaves us vulnerable. Freedom leaves us not in control.

Yet, this is what it means to be a child of God. To live in freedom. Overflowing freedom.

Posted on Thursday, January 19, 2023

4 Tips for Preaching through the Book of Daniel

by Josh Reich

Photo by Alexander Michl on Unsplash

I just wrapped up a series on the book of Daniel. I did something with this book that I have never done with a book before; I split it up and put a series in between. We did Daniel 1 – 6 in August and September; then we did a relationship series and a vision series in between, and then for Advent, we returned to Daniel 7 – 12. The response was even better than I hoped and something I would do again if the topic lent itself to it.

Because I get asked a lot by pastors about sermon prep, putting a series together, and making the Bible relevant, I thought I’d share some tips for preaching the book of Daniel.

Why?

The book of Daniel is not one that many pastors preach through. In researching it, I found most people who preach through Daniel stop at chapter 6. I’ll be honest; it’s tempting to do. The first six chapters are filled with narrative, extraordinary faith, prayer, and God doing incredible miracles. The last six chapters are filled with visions, revelations, debated images, and a lot of head-scratching.

1. The book is about God, not Daniel, the end times, or your church. Yes, the book of Daniel has a lot about the end of the world, but spending your time on this does a disservice to the book and your church.

The word king or kingdom is used over 150 times in the book of Daniel. That is the theme, that is the battleground of the book. While focusing on Daniel and his life is tempting, and faith is an essential part of the book, it is about God and his power. The book is about the temptation to worship something other than God.

2. Don’t get stuck in the weeds. Daniel, like the book of Revelation, is filled with many images. These images are fascinating, confusing, and debated. One of the things we decided at the beginning is that we wouldn’t get into the timeline debate that centers on Daniel. You can see how we handled chapter 7 to understand how we navigated this.

Are there people in your church who want to debate the end of the world when Jesus returns? Who is the anti-Christ? Yes. What we asked was: What are these passages trying to tell us? For us, they returned to who God is and His character, so we focused on that. What do these passages tell us about God, because that is what God was communicating with Daniel? Why did God give these visions to Daniel and the people of God in exile? How are they good news and images of comfort and hope in a time of great difficulty?

How to preach Daniel and Revelation.

3. Tell people about God’s character and power. Preaching through Daniel, especially when you talk about the lion’s den and furnace, for those who are skeptical about God, these passages make you scratch your head. I had multiple conversations with people wrestling with, “Do you believe that happened?”

These passages, the images in the visions and dreams, are about the power of God and his character, who He is.

Your church needs to hear those things, which is an excellent opportunity to show their relevance.

Many sermons today, and I’m all for this, are based on felt needs and speak to what the people in your church are struggling with and walking through in their lives. Focusing on who God is, while not a question they are asking, is the question they need answering and is the hope to what men and women are struggling with when they walk into church.

This power not only catalyzed the faith of Daniel but can do the same thing for your church.

One of the most significant examples is how much Daniel prayed in the book. While preparing for the series, I missed this, but as I was preaching through it, it stood out boldly in the book.

We’re often told, “Daniel prayed as was his habit” (or something similar). That’s important. When Daniel came up against struggles and power, he prayed to a God he trusted who had the power to save him.

4. It helps your people face the end. One of the things that stand out is that the visions in Daniel 7 – 12 take place at the end of Daniel’s life when he’s in his 80s. He is facing death, and God gives him these visions.

As I preached through it, a few things stood out to me on this:

People have questions about faith to the end of their lives, which need to be answered.
God speaks to the hopes and fears we face at the end of our lives.
Many people in your church will face death in the coming year, and they need to know what God says in those moments.

Daniel is a book every pastor should preach through. It is relevant to our day and age as we struggle to live out our faith in a culture that is opposed to it. It is a book that reminds us of the God we serve and the power He has.

Posted on Tuesday, January 17, 2023

How to Make Decisions

by Josh Reich

Photo by Jamie Templeton on Unsplash

When figuring out God’s will, we often make it incredibly difficult. We talk about it mystically, heightening the sense that only a few find it. We wonder, does God have a specific will for my life? What if I miss it?

Does God have a specific will for your life?

This happens with marriage; is there the one for me, and what if I marry the wrong one?

If there’s an open door, is that God’s will? Is it God’s way of saying no if it’s a closed door?

We also look at people in the Bible, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul, and see people that God used in incredible ways, spoke to audibly, and laid out his will. We see Noah getting the measurements of the ark. Abraham and Moses are told where to go. Does God still do that?

For us, we have something they didn’t have. God’s will is written out in the form of God’s word. We have God’s inspired, authoritative word. Over 31,000 words that God has given to us and preserved to show us how life is to be lived.

Have you ever noticed that you can often see God’s will for someone else before they can? Others can usually see it for you as well.

What if you are trying to figure out things in your life and hear the voice of God for you? God speaks to us in a variety of ways. He speaks through his word, opened and closed doors, friends, family, community, our desires and fears, and nature, to name a few.

As you face your next decision, whether big or small, here are some ways to begin hearing God speak, move in your life, and stop resisting His voice. That last one is a big one.

When making decisions, most people set out the pros and cons of choice and then choose the way with the most pros or the least annoying or uncomfortable cons. What if we thought about it differently? What if we looked at the framework God has given us in Scripture and asked, “Will this choice get me to where God wants me, or will it hinder me?” Sometimes, the choice with the most cons will get us there.

Over the years, a few things have helped me discern what God is doing or calling me to do:

1. Listen to the Bible and close friends you trust who are spiritually mature. God’s will for your life is not a mystery; in fact, it’s all over the pages of the Bible. He tells us how to be married, be friends, and parents, have integrity, honor leaders and government and bosses, pray, fast, worship, and be a good steward of our treasures, time, and talents.

If we do these consistently and wholeheartedly, we will rarely wonder what God’s will for our lives is.

Why?

Because when we listen to his word and wise counsel, we will do what he called us to do, what he designed us to do.

On top of that, ask trusted friends and mentors who you consider to be spiritually mature.

What do they do? How do they live? What do they say about the questions you ask or your struggles?

Listen to them.

Does what they have to say line up with Scripture?

If so, that’s a clue you are heading in the right direction.

Pay attention to what the Bible says to you.

During this time, you also need to make sure you are taking time to pause, sit and wait and listen. Don’t rush. One of the ways we get into trouble is when we rush ahead and get started too quickly.

2. Live out what the Bible and those friends tell you.

Here comes the part where many of us get off the ride: Live it out.

It is one thing to say you are going to get up and read your Bible or exercise and another thing to do it.

It’s one thing to say you are going to be more patient with your kids and another thing to show them patience and grace.

Life is filled with regrets, missed opportunities, and a laundry list of should’s and could’s.

Pay attention to wise counsel.

3. When you feel like God is speaking…act.

This leads to the last part.

Act.

Do it.

Don’t stand on the sideline.

Have you ever noticed that God is moving in the lives of people who act? I don’t know if he speaks more to them, but they seem to listen more and work more.

Now it is time to move on to what God has said and not look back.

3 ways to hear the voice of God.

While we’d love for God to give us a full roadmap of our lives, he doesn’t do that. We’d stay put if we knew everything that would come after a decision. That’s why the advice of Dallas Willard is so important: Do the next right thing. Take the next step that you see.

Posted on Wednesday, January 11, 2023

How God Grows & Changes Us

by Josh Reich

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

All of us in our life and faith journey will walk through trials. If you’re like me, your first response is one of questioning. We question ourselves; we question God, and we get angry at ourselves, others, and God.

Sunday, I started a brand new series on the book of James. In James, we see how God sees trials, which is incredibly important as we navigate them. James tells us to Consider it a great joy when you encounter trials.

This is a mind shift for many of us as we view trials as something we should avoid at all costs. James isn’t saying to go searching for trials, but he tells us there is a point to them. He tells us in verse 3: you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

So, trials build endurance so we can be mature and complete, lacking nothing. When trials come our way, we lack something to which only a trial can bring completeness.

But how does that happen? Throughout scripture, we see a few different reasons trials happen. In this list, I hope you can begin to see why you are walking through what you’re walking through:

6 reasons God allows trials.

Trials test the strength of your faith. It is easy to follow Jesus when life is going well, but what about when life isn’t going according to our plan? Trials demonstrate the strength of our faith.

I often think I deserve blessings and should get good things from God, and as we’ll see later in chapter 1, God gives good gifts. But God also allows trials because trials and gifts are needed to bring us to maturity.

Trials humble us and show us where we need to depend on God and deepen our trust in God. The more we’re blessed, the more we are tempted to see that we did it. We built our portfolio, marriage, house, career, and body.

When we walk through trials, we may experience feelings of loneliness, which is why many people use the picture of walking through the desert or the dark night of the soul to describe a trial. In these moments, we will find that God is who we cling to, and trials can deepen our dependence and trust in God.

What loneliness and the dark night of the soul do to our faith.

Trials show how temporary the things we hold dear are. We get so much confidence from temporary things. Money, stuff, security, medicine, experience, knowledge. We rely on these things to save us instead of God. Trials remind us that these things won’t last.

Trials strengthen our hope for heaven and eternity. The harder the trial, the longer it lasts, and the more we look forward to being with God in eternity. Without trials, we will see the world as not too bad and wonder what makes heaven and the gospel so great.

Trials reveal what we love. Many of our trials will involve a loss: of relationships, careers, finances, house, our health.

It isn’t wrong to love these things, but trials reveal if they have become an identity piece for us and if we are holding them too tightly.

Tim Keller said, “You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it.” All of us have idols. Idols are anything or anyone we look to do what only God can do. Only God can complete us, not a job, child, or marriage. Only God can fulfill us, not a dream, goal, or career. Only God is our refuge, not our home. Only God is our security, not our money and stuff.

Trials have a way of revealing what our idols and identity are.

You can tell something is an idol in your life by the degree of emotion you feel when something blocks it. -Tim Keller

Trials can strengthen us for greater usefulness. This is what James is getting at; trials build endurance. For future things: maturity, completeness, wholeness, perfection, lacking nothing.

Throughout Scripture and church history, God uses trials in the lives of people who impact our world.

Trials also help us help others. Walking through things in this world gives us an opportunity to walk with others as they experience trials.

The point of trials and difficulties in our lives.

Posted on Monday, January 9, 2023

How to Walk with People through Pain & Difficulty

by Josh Reich

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Sunday, I preached how to walk through pain and life’s difficulties. One of the things I couldn’t get to is how to walk with someone through pain; how do you let others walk with you?

This is often hard to do from both perspectives.

When you are the one walking through the difficulty, we tend to keep it to ourselves. We don’t want to bother other people; we think we should be able to handle it on our own or we struggle to wonder if people care about us.

It is hard to know where to start when you are a friend watching someone walk through difficulty. How do you step in and help? What do they need? Especially around sickness or death, it can sometimes be hard to know what to say or how to say it. We often choose not to do anything, even though we’d like to.

A few years ago, I read a great book by Kate Bowler called Everything Happens for a Reason (and other lies I’ve loved). Kate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, and in the end, she shares how to walk with people because it is difficult, we want to do it well, but we often find ourselves fumbling about it.

According to Bowler, here are some things not to say:

What not to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

‘Well, at least . . .’ Whoa. Hold up there. Were you about to make a comparison? At least it’s not . . . what? Stage V cancer? Don’t minimize.
‘In my long life, I’ve learned that . . .’ Geez. Do you want a medal? I get it! You lived forever. Well, some people are worried that they won’t or that things are so hard they won’t want to. So ease up on the life lessons. Life is a privilege, not a reward.
‘It’s going to get better. I promise.’ Well, fairy godmother, that will be a tough row to hoe when things go badly.
‘God needed an angel.’ This one takes the cake because (a) it makes God look sadistic and needy, and (b) angels are, according to Christian tradition, created from scratch. Not dead people looking for a cameo in Ghost. Do you see how confusing it is when we pretend that the deceased returned to help us find your car keys or make pottery?
‘Everything happens for a reason.’ The only thing worse than saying this is pretending that you know the reason. I’ve had hundreds of people tell me the reason for my cancer. Because of my sin. Because of my unfaithfulness. Because God is fair. Because God is unfair. Because of my aversion to Brussels sprouts. I mean, no one is short of reasons. So if people tell you this, make sure you are there when they go through the cruelest moments of their lives, and start offering your own. When someone is drowning, the only thing worse than failing to throw them a life preserver is handing them a reason.
‘I’ve done some research and…’ I thought I should listen to my oncologist, nutritionist, and a team of specialists, but it turns out that I should be listening to you. Please tell me more about the medical secrets that only one flaxseed provider in Orlando knows. Wait, let me get a pen.
‘When my aunt had cancer…’ My darling dear, I know you are trying to relate to me. Now you see me, and you are reminded that terrible things have happened in the world. But guess what? That is where I live, in the valley of the shadow of death. But now I’m on vacation because I’m not in the hospital or dealing with my mess. Do I have to take my sunglasses off and join you on the saddest journey down memory lane, or do you mind if I finish my mojito?
‘So, how are the treatments going? How are you really?’ This is the toughest one of all. I hear you trying to understand my world and be on my side. But picture the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Got it?

Here are some things to say:

What to say to someone walking through a difficult time.

“I’d love to bring you a meal this week. Can I email you about it?” Oh, thank goodness. I am starving, but I can mostly never figure out something to tell people I need, even if I need it. But really, bring me anything. Chocolate. A potted plant. A set of weird erasers. I remember the first gift I got that wasn’t about cancer, and I was so happy I cried. Send me funny emails filled with YouTube clips to watch during chemotherapy. Do something that suits your talents. But most important, bring me presents!
“You are a beautiful person.” Unless you are used to speaking in a creepy windowless-van kind of voice, comments like these go a long way. Tell your friend something you admire about his or her life without making it feel like a eulogy.
“I am so grateful to hear about how you’re doing. Just know that I’m on your team.” Do you mean I don’t have to give you an update? Did you ask someone else for all the gory details? Whew. Great! Now, I get to feel like you are both informed and concerned. So, don’t gild the lily. What you have said is amazing, so don’t screw it up now by being a nosy Nellie. Ask a question about any other aspect of my life.
“Can I give you a hug?” Some of my best moments with people have come with a hug or a hand on the arm. People who are suffering often—not always—feel isolated and want to be touched. Hospitals and big institutions, in general, tend to treat people like cyborgs or throwaways. So, ask whether your friend feels up for a hug and give her some sugar.
“Oh, my friend, that sounds so hard.” Perhaps the weirdest thing about having something awful happen is that no one wants to hear about it. People tend to want to hear the summary, but they don’t usually want to hear it from you. And that it was awful. So, simmer down and let your friend talk for a bit. Be willing to stare down the ugliness and sadness. Life is absurdly hard, and pretending it isn’t is exhausting.
*****Silence***** The truth is that no one knows what to say. It’s awkward. Pain is awkward. Tragedy is awkward. People’s weird, suffering bodies are awkward. But take the advice of one man who wrote to me with his policy: Show up and shut up.

Posted on Tuesday, January 3, 2023

10 Lessons from “Build”

by Josh Reich

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Recently I read Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making by Tony Fadell. It’s part memoir, part leadership & organizational book. One that is worth picking up if you are a leader or a pastor. Many lessons are wrapped up in the story of his life and leadership.

Here are a few that stood out to me:

Ten lessons from “Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making”

The best way to find a job you’ll love and a career that will eventually make you successful is to follow what you’re naturally interested in, then take risks when choosing where to work. He spends a lot of time talking about how to get started in life and your career. He said all the stuff they don’t and can’t teach you in college – how to thrive in the workplace, create something unique, deal with managers, and eventually become one – it all slaps you in the face the second you step off campus. No matter how much you learn in school, you still need to get the equivalent of a Ph.D. in navigating the rest of the world and building something meaningful. You have to try and fail and learn by doing. He goes on. So when looking at the array of potential careers before you, the correct place to start is this: “What do I want to learn?”

When you’re in your thirties and forties, the window begins to close for most people. Your decisions can no longer be entirely your own. That’s okay, too – great even – but it’s different. The people who depend on you will shape and influence your choices. We know this as we age, but we take extra chances when we’re younger.

The way I made decisions in my 20s isn’t how I make decisions in my 40s because my life is different. I’m going after other goals, and different things matter to me. In my 20’s, I focused more on building my platform and career. In my 40’s, I’m more focused on my kids and the people they are becoming.

It is crucial as we age to evaluate how we make decisions, what drives us, and what our willingness to take risks is.

Customers need to see that your product solves a real problem they have today – not one they may have in some distant future. Pastors need to think about this more when they preach. What is the tension your sermon speaks to? This doesn’t mean that should drive your sermon, but can you articulate what problem your sermon will solve? Do you tell people what it will solve?

Meetings should be structured to get you and the team as much clarity as possible. We’ve all sat in meetings that accomplished very little, that wasted time, or left us confused. The whole section on meetings was an excellent reminder for me. Does everyone leave a meeting with as much clarity as possible? Asking, “Are we clear on everything, and who will do what?”

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties. The longer I lead, the more I see how my past affects me. Now, your past can be a great teacher to make sure that you choose the right path in the future. But, if you don’t deal with your past, it will have a way of rearing its head in your present and potentially harm your future.

Many pastors and leaders make decisions based on their fear and anxieties without realizing it.

A great deal of management comes down to managing your fears and anxieties.

You must consistently check to see if you are acting out or making decisions out of your fears and anxieties. How much are they playing a role in your daily life?

You must pause and clearly articulate the “why” before convincing anyone to care about the “what.” Years ago, one of my jobs when I joined a team, was to find out the “why” behind what the church did. I spent months meeting with leaders, teams, and departments, asking, “why do you do what you do? Why did this ministry start? Why do we keep doing it?” Do you know what I found? Most people at that church could not articulate why they did what they did; they couldn’t articulate why they started something, only “what” they did.

What matters, it matters a lot. But, as Simon Sinek pointed out years ago, the why will always win the day, and you need to start there.

Many churches, teams, and companies can tell you what they do, but that isn’t as important as why you do something. Leaders must be clear and ensure their teams understand why they do something.

You cannot be afraid to disrupt the thing that made you successful in the first place. This is a hard lesson for leaders, no matter who they are. Especially if you created the thing that makes you successful, leaders must consistently ensure that what “got them there” doesn’t hold them back from what is next. This is why continuing to return to “why” you do something is so important.

If you have fifty people who understand your culture and add a hundred who don’t, you will lose that culture. It’s just math. The longer I lead anything, the more critical I see the culture of a church. The culture of the church decides what gets done and what is essential. Culture is how things happen. You can have the greatest strategy or ministry idea, but it will only be effective if your culture doesn’t fight against that.

The most important thing you have to pay attention to as a pastor.

The CEO sets the tone for the company – every team looks to the CEO and the exec team to see what’s most critical and what they need to pay attention to. This took me too long to learn. I used to think that if I said the right things, people would know what to do, but I’ve learned that my actions tell people what matters. Does starting on time matter? What things do I check and double-check? What stats do I check? Those things tell my team and our church what matters most.

Then as you lead, “Your team amplifies your mood.” Your team takes what you think is essential and passes it on. If you want to change your church, you must decide what is critical and start paying attention to that and amplifying that.

The lead pastor sets the tone for the church.

Posted on Wednesday, December 21, 2022

The 10 Most Read Posts of 2022

by Josh Reich

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

As we near the end of the year, I thought I’d repost the top 10 posts from this year, just in case you missed them or want to go back.

A lot has happened in my life, and many lessons have been learned, which come through in the posts. Here they are:

The most read posts of 2022.

The top 10 articles of 2022.