Tag Archives: leadership

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Global Leadership Summit Takeaways (Jon Acuff)

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Our church is hosting the global leadership summit. This is, by far, one of my favorite events to attend every year: the learning, the relationships, and how God moves through leaders in our region.

Here are a few takeaways from the session with Jon Acuff on “Building a winning mindset”:

  • A goal is the fastest path from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow.
  • Starting is fun, but the future belongs to finishers.
  • Overthinking wrecks more leaders than anything else.
  • Overthinking is the most expensive things business invest in every year without even knowing it.
  • Overthinking is when what you think gets in the way of what you want.
  • The soundtrack changes everything, and we have a soundtrack for every part of our lives.
  • The longer we listen to repetitive thoughts, the more it becomes part of the playlist of our lives.
  • Soundtracks are the culture of a company.
  • Great thoughts lead to great actions. Great action leads to great results.
  • Great leaders:
    • Retire broken soundtracks
    • Replace them with new soundtracks
    • Repeat until automatic.
  • Ask the loudest soundtracks these questions:
    • Is it still true? Don’t assume all your thoughts are true.
    • Is it helpful? Does the soundtrack push us forward or pull us back?
    • Is it kind?
  • Google wondered, “What do the most successful teams have in common?”
    • Psychological safety: a shared belief held by the team that members are safe for interpersonal risk-taking.
    • You can ask questions, suggest new ideas, and admit you’re wrong without being treated poorly by the team.
  • You only get to fix mistakes that you admit.
  • Leaders who can’t be questioned end up doing questionable things.
  • We struggle to know how to replace soundtracks because we think we can’t choose our thoughts.
  • Thoughts come by choice or chance.
  • Great leaders always pick ahead of time, and they pick thoughts that are actionable.
  • You have a soundtrack for every person in your life.
  • Empathy: Understanding what someone needs and acting on it.
  • What do the people you care about, care about?
  • It is much better to meet a need instead of inventing a need.
  • You’ll get out of touch if you don’t listen to people’s needs.
  • Everyone wants to know: Do you see me? Do I matter?
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Global Leadership Summit Takeaways (Deb Liu)

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Our church is hosting the global leadership summit. This is, by far, one of my favorite events to attend every year: the learning, the relationships, and how God moves through leaders in our region.

Here are a few takeaways from the session with Deb Liu on “Taking back your power”:

  • When was the last time you thought of yourself as having power?
  • Power is. not a dirty word.
  • Power is the ability to influence events and the people around you.
  • Power isn’t the problem, but the misuse of power.
  • When you hear no, that opens up the opportunity for someone to say yes.
  • Taking back your power doesn’t mean succeeding alone.
  • We have to ask ourselves, who does God want us to be? Who did God create you to be?
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Global Leadership Summit Takeaways (Craig Groeschel)

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Our church is hosting the global leadership summit. This is, by far, one of my favorite events to attend every year: the learning, the relationships, and how God moves through leaders in our region.

Here are a few takeaways from the session with Craig Groeschel on “Lead Like it Matters”:

  • All leaders and churches want it. 
  • It is not a model, a result of a program.
  • There are things you can do to lead towards it and things you can do to kill it. 
  • Every leader that has it, they have very extreme qualities.
  • Greatness is found in the extremes.
Greatness is found in the extremes. -Craig Groeschel

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  • Contradictory leadership qualities together create a synergy of undeniable leadership impact.
  • If you want to grow in your impact, grow in your extremes.

Leaders with it, are a contradiction. 

  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are incredibly confident and humble.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are focused and flexible.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are driven and healthy.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are optimistic and realistic.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are direct and kind.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are empowering and controlling.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are urgent and patient.
  • Leadership paradox of leaders who have it: Leaders are frugal and abundant.

Leaders that have it, are confident and humble. 

  • Some leaders have too much confidence.
  • Some leaders are strong, talented, and capable, but you are still hesitant because you don’t know the greatness in you.
  • To grow in confidence and humility, push yourself to the place of leadership discomfort.
  • A growing leader is in a constant place of discomfort.

Leaders that have it, are both driven and healthy. 

  • Some of you are doing too much. You are working too much, working outside of your gifts.
  • The best leaders learn to delegate.
  • You aren’t doing too much, but you aren’t recovering well.
  • You aren’t tired; you are depleted.
  • You need to raise your tolerance for work and stress.
  • The leaders who have it, bring a bit more but not at the expense of family.

Leaders that have it are both focused and flexible. 

  • As a church, we started doing only 5 things: worship services, small groups, kids, students, and missions.
  • The greatest threat to you is not a lack of opportunities but a lack of focus.
  • Are we getting the most out of our use of resources and time?
  • The most spiritual thing you can do is not create a to do list, but a to don’t list.
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Three Important Categories for Leaders

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A few weeks ago, I was at the Drive Conference in Atlanta and heard Joel Thomas layout three important categories for leaders. Since then, I’ve been chewing on it because I think they are critical, and they also explain some frustrations we have as leaders if we don’t understand them.

Identity 

Identity is who you are. Your role in life as a husband, wife, parent, friend, boss, and child of God. 

These are also the roles you play outside of leadership and ministry; the hobbies that you have, the interests you give your time to. 

This is hard for us to think about, but this is the foundation of leadership. Too often, as leaders, our identity is wrapped up in what we do or our ability. 

Your identity is formed in a lot of ways that affect your leadership. 

It started years ago in your family of origin. It is formed in early experiences in school and friendships as you grow up. Your experiences and the heartaches shape it, as well as the celebrations you experience through life. 

If you grew up and learned not to trust people or that people can’t be trusted (real hurts), that shapes how you interact with people around you and how much trust you give to others. If you were raised to believe that what you did was the most important thing about you, that shapes how you go about leadership and teamwork.

Your story affects how you interact, show up, your motivations and how you trust or do not trust those around you. 

Connected to this is understanding how you are wired. You need to know your personality, motivations, desires, and fears. You also need to understand the things you carry from your past: shame, hurt and other parts of your story. 

Those things about you shape your identity as a leader and are easily overlooked.

Calling

Calling is what you feel like God has called you to do with your life. 

We define that differently. And we talk about how that calling comes to us in different ways, but we have it. 

Some feel called to be a pastor, in ministry, etc. You may feel called to leadership in the marketplace, a non-profit; your calling may be to eradicate something. But all of us have that calling. 

We get tripped when we confuse identity and calling. They are connected but not the same. 

And let me say this, being a pastor is a calling, but it’s also a job. A job that you will one day leave and retire from. 

In many ways, identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.  

Identity is who you are, calling is what you do with that or because of that.

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John Onwuchekwa said, “You HAVE a calling FROM God. You ARE a child OF God.”

Assignment

Your assignment is what God has called you to now. Your assignment right now might be to be a lead pastor, associate pastor, church planter, elder, or volunteer. 

Your assignment is your current season. It may be just beginning. You may be ending an assignment and figuring out what’s next. 

Again, we can confuse our calling with an assignment. We can also confuse our assignment with our identity. Many pastors and leaders don’t know where they end and where their church begins, which leads to all kinds of unhealthy things. 

Assignments can last decades, and they can last for a year. Assignments can change at the drop of a hat when you aren’t aware. 

These categories are critical to understand and keep separate. If we confuse them, we will find ourselves in some dangerous places as leaders and watch our hearts erode. 

3 areas leaders need to be aware of.

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How to Survive Monday as a Pastor

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It’s Monday.

For most pastors, worship leaders, kids, and student pastors, this means the hardest and worst day of the week. Sadly, many pastors resign on Monday.

There are a variety of reasons why Mondays are so hard for pastors:

  • In the spiritual sense, what we do is warfare. You may have had to deal with a relational battle yesterday. You prayed with people, counseled people, and are carrying their burdens and weight. You have shepherded them through difficulties, wept with them, challenged them to walk away from sin, and watched people destroy their lives one step at a time.
  • You slept terribly on Saturday night as you thought about the day, got up early, and then slept poorly on Sunday night as you were simply too tired to sleep or you are carrying criticisms and weights from the conversations you had.
  • Leading worship, preaching, and talking with people is incredible and the highlight of my week but it is also incredibly exhausting all at the same time. You physically have nothing left after a Sunday. You probably have nothing left spiritually, emotionally, or relationally to give as well.
  • There is a good chance you woke up on Monday to a pile of emails from angry people, or people leaving your church, or thinking about leaving your church. You may have some fires brewing that you are wondering if you can handle. Maybe there is an elder or a staff member or volunteer that is a thorn in your side. And you are tired.

So what do you do?

While every Monday doesn’t feel like this and isn’t this hard, many of them are. Because of this, many pastors take Monday off. If you do, that’s fine. But I feel like that is making a hard day worse. Your family doesn’t want you around if you are going to be angry, grumpy, and have a short temper.

Here are a few things that have helped me and my family survive Mondays:

Get out of bed. While I don’t set my alarm most Mondays, you definitely don’t want to sleep too long. Get moving as soon as you can.

Know that Tuesday is coming. Most of the things that seem insurmountable on Monday look easy on Tuesday. I’m amazed at how often I get stressed about things and in 3 weeks’ time I have forgotten about them.

Get a workout, bike ride, hike, or run in. I know, you are tired and can barely move. The adrenaline from preaching is hard to deal with the older I get. I actually do yoga every Sunday afternoon as a way to breathe, calm down and pray. Get going, do something active. It gets your blood moving and you are in a better mood afterward.

Take a nap. You should take a nap on Monday. You will probably have very little steam by the end of the day, so lay down.

Pray for your people. Know that while you are tired, they are also tired as they walk into their worlds today. Pray for their faithfulness, courage to follow Jesus, and the burdens they are carrying in their lives. I know that you do this, but praying for them also helps to remind you of why you do what you do and keeps you focused on others on a day that is easy to throw a pity party. 

Work on your soul. Read something that speaks to your soul. You preached your heart out, gave everything you had to students and kids, led worship with everything you had, and now you need to feed yourself. Monday is a great time to listen to a sermon by someone else to be challenged.

How to work on your heart as a pastor.

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Don’t be around anyone that makes you angry. On Monday, you have a short fuse so do yourself and others a favor and only be around people you like. The fallout from not following this can be bad for everyone involved. If you can, connect with a friend or someone who is life-giving to you.

Do administrative stuff. Don’t have a meeting on Monday, don’t counsel anyone. I know lots of leaders like to evaluate on Monday because it is fresh, but write it down, and talk about it on Tuesday. Return some emails, blog, following up with guests, and new believers, those are fun and invigorating for a pastor.

Serve your wife. You were probably a bear to be around at some point on Saturday or Sunday. She was a single mom on Sunday with your kids while you worked and she is just as tired as you are. I know you don’t believe me and think your job is harder, let’s say it is even. Ask how you can serve her.

You have the privilege to do it again in 6 days. That may not seem like a privilege on Monday, but believe me, it is. God has chosen you to preach, lead worship, teach, counsel, shepherd, set up, greet, help kids follow Jesus, and talk with students through hard situations. He chose you and uses you. So, when Monday is hard, remember, God could’ve picked someone else. And you could’ve said no. Since God called and you said yes, get back up on the horse and get ready!

How to survive Monday as a Pastor.

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7 Things a Pastor Must Do on Easter

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Sunday is the “super bowl” of the church year. I wish we didn’t call it that, but that’s another post.

We love Easter. It is the hope of our salvation and our world. In most churches, attendance will be higher than at any other time of the year. More unchurched people will be there more than any other week.

Here are 7 things a pastor MUST do on Easter:

7 things to remember this Easter weekend.

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Fill yourself up (before and after). You will likely be tired by the time you get to Easter morning. You will be tired on the Monday after Easter. The week of Easter is filled with special services and attention to different things. Make sure you take time leading up to Easter to eat well, get some sleep, keep your exercise going, and fill your heart up. Don’t preach on an empty tank.

After Easter, make sure you fill yourself up as well. Get up and exercise on Monday morning, read your bible, and listen to worship music. Be with Jesus.

Pastor, make sure you have a plan to rest and recharge after Easter.

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Be a pastor. Every week, I have no idea what people are carrying when they walk through the doors of our church or tune in online. Many people drag themselves to church on Easter, barely hanging on in some areas of their life. Be a pastor. Pray with people, smile at them, listen to them, walk around, and talk to people. Don’t hang out in the green room or backstage. Be a pastor.

Talk about the resurrection. You will be tempted to be cute and talk about something else for fear everyone knows about the resurrection.

Don’t.

The resurrection is our only hope. Without it, Jesus is still in the grave, and our faith is in vain (1 Corinthians 15:14). Without the hope of the resurrection, sin, and death can defeat us. The world will not be made right without the resurrection. Marriages cannot be saved, addictions cannot be defeated, and identities cannot be changed.

Challenge them. Don’t be afraid. Step up to the plate and tell them, “Today is the day.” For some, they need to be challenged to come back. For others, they need to be challenged to follow Jesus.

Remind them. While some will need to be challenged, some will need to be reminded that God loves and cares for them, that God has not forgotten them, that God has not left them, or that God is not disappointed in them.

Invite them back. I’m amazed at how many church services I’ve been to, and no one invited me back next week. Tell them, “I look forward to seeing you back next week.” Be friendly, walk around, and say hi to people. Lead the way in how your church should be welcoming.

Put as much effort into next week as you did this week. Easter was great, and you will be tired, but people will return to your church the following Sunday. Put as much effort into that. Hopefully, you started a new series on Easter that they want to hear part 2 of. Be ready.

7 things pastors need to do this Easter.

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How Pastors Miss What’s Happening in Their Church

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Recently I was sitting with a group of pastors who all had the same reaction to what was going on in their churches.

Surprise.

Each pastor thought things were going relatively well before covid. They thought their church was healthy because they saw a number of people getting baptized, they met first-time guests each week and they had a full room.

Yet, the surprise came because as we have walked through covid it has revealed what is actually happening beneath the surface of our churches. It has revealed who we really are and how we are really doing.

Do you really know where your church is and what’s happening in your church?

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What if you didn’t need a crisis to know what is happening in your church?

The other thing that makes this a challenge is that the longer you are at a church, the longer you are in leadership, the further you get from what is happening. And, people don’t like to give you bad news, so all you hear are good things.

As a leader you must make sure you have ways to find out how things are actually going in your church.

Here’s how:

3 things to watch if you are a pastor.

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1. Staff & volunteer turnover. The longer you lead, the more change you will see in your staff and volunteer base. This happens for all kinds of reasons: people move for a job, they transition to be closer to family, the role they were in is no longer their passion or they have outgrown it, or they haven’t kept up with the growth of the church. Not all turnover is bad.

But, all turnover is data you need to be aware of. If, in the last few years, you have had a high turnover rate in your staff, do you know why? If you do exit interviews (and you should), don’t dismiss the information you receive from them, even if you don’t like what you hear.

High turnover tells a story that you need to know about as a leader.

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On the flip side of this, it can also be unhealthy if you have no new voices or leaders at the top levels of your organization. This doesn’t mean you need to promote people past their ability or fire anyone. But, the longer you are a leader the more comfortable you get with the leaders you have around you, and the less you want new voices in that circle.

Be aware of that temptation and make sure you have ways for new voices to speak into what is happening at a church.

2. Why do people stay and leave your church. This is connected to the first one. But do you know why people come to your church? Do you know what keeps them? Do you know why people are leaving your church? It isn’t always good or bad, but you need to know.

Do you know why people come to your church? Do you know why people are leaving your church?

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As much as possible when people leave your church, talk to them. Take them to coffee and see what you can learn from them. They may or may not want to talk with you, but it is worth trying to find out.

When someone new comes to your church and gets connected, find out what kept them. Ask them how they found you, why they came back a second time or a third time. Ask them what made them get engaged. This helps you to know what is working and not working in your church.

How to know what is working and not working in your church.

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3. New life, groups, and baptisms. This is all about new life, about the next steps being taken.

If you haven’t seen any new groups getting started or new leaders being raised up, there is a problem with your groups, assimilation, or leadership development system. If you aren’t seeing people cross the line of faith or people getting baptized, then you need to step back and ask why.

It is easy to see a crowd in a room and think you are doing well. But you need to dig into the steps people are taking or not taking. 

Are people stepping up to volunteer and join teams? Or is it the same people who have always done it?

I know, as a leader, it is easier to pretend things are working just fine and it is hard to know after covid where people are. But your job as a leader is to know reality and define it for your church so that you can lead through it. 

3 things to keep an eye on in your church.

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Dealing with the Expectations of Others

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Recently I gave a message on handling the expectations people place on us. We have all experienced the crushing weight of disappointing others, of letting them down. For example, it could be the expectation our parents put on us as children for grades or sports. Many of us have felt the disappointment of a spouse when we didn’t meet their expectations or from a child when we let them down. We have felt this at work where we have let down a boss or co-worker. 

All of us can look back on our childhood and remember a moment when we disappointed a coach, teacher, or parent. And for many of us, that was a shaping moment in our lives. 

This can be especially hard for leaders and pastors. We know the feeling that comes from getting an email from someone telling us they are leaving our church for this reason or that. It could be we are being unfairly compared to a past pastor, or someone shares a negative experience they had. Often when it comes to others’ expectations, it can feel like we can’t win. 

But what do we do with those feelings now? Steve Cuss, who wrote a fantastic book called Managing Leadership Anxiety, said, “We need to discern what is ours to carry, what is God’s to carry, and what is theirs to carry.”

We all carry around the expectations from our lives and the disappointments we have experienced from others. But what should we carry? What is ours? What is theirs? What is God’s to carry?

As we think about the “should’s” others place on us, I want you to think about a specific example, a specific expectation someone has placed on you, or a situation where you have felt someone’s disappointment. And as you do, I want to encourage you to walk through these questions to see what is yours to carry, what is theirs to carry, and what is God’s to carry. 

1. What is the expectation? While this might seem like an obvious question, we often skip over it. What is the actual expectation? Often in relationships, we misunderstand each other or miss meeting each other’s needs because we don’t know what the other person wants. As we saw on Sunday, Jesus went to the other town in Mark 1 after clarifying what the people and his disciples wanted.

2. Does God want you to meet it? Or can someone else (or God) meet it? Remember, in Mark 1, Jesus started with prayer. In prayer, that time with God, we begin to clarify what we are to do. As you have clarified the expectation, ask what God wants in this situation. It might not be the right time for you. 

3. Do you want to meet it? Throughout the gospels, Jesus knew what the people wanted. He knew what God wanted for him. He also knew when he didn’t want to meet their expectations and when He did want to meet their expectations. Why? He had other goals. It doesn’t make the people’s expectations wrong, just wrong for Jesus then. Some expectations that people have for us are not things we need to meet or want to meet, so knowing who God has created us and called us to be is essential. 

4. Can you meet it? This is the season and time question. Throughout Jesus’ ministry sometimes he left villages, and other times he stayed. He stopped at seemingly odd times to talk with people and heal them. Timing matters when it comes to expectations. You and I might do things today because of time available that we couldn’t do five years ago. An empty nester might have more flexibility than a mom with young kids. Sometimes people place expectations on us because they think we should handle it. However, we know what we can or can’t do, and it is crucial for us to be honest about that. 

5. If you meet it, will you keep them from meeting it? This is a hard one, especially if we love the other person. But, sometimes meeting an expectation that someone has for us keeps them from meeting it themselves; keeps God from meeting it, or maybe someone else. Everything isn’t yours to do. Sometimes our help can hinder the growth of someone else. And sometimes, if we step in, it might keep someone else from stepping in. 

6. Should God carry this? The things we know God should carry that we can’t are in the areas of change. Often in relationships, we will try to change people or meet some need to change them. That isn’t our job. That is God’s job. Some needs only God can meet. Although people may place the burden on us, sometimes it is for God to meet the need. 

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1 Leadership Lesson I Wish I Learned Sooner

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Recently, I was talking to a brand new church planter. He was excited, anticipating what lay ahead for him.

He asked me, “What is one thing you know now that you wished you would’ve known when you first planted a church?”

I had to think. There are lots of things I wish I would’ve known. I wish I would’ve taken to heart rhythms and pace personally. That I would’ve poured more into my soul than leadership insight, that I would’ve put more emphasis on individual conversations instead of big numbers.

After a minute, I said, “I wish I would’ve understood that when it looks like nothing is happening, that something is happening.”

I grew up in a farming community, and farmers understand that there are seasons to their planting and crops. There is a season of clearing away branches, dirt, and weeds. There is a season of prepping the soil. There is a season of planting, watering, fertilizing. There is a season of harvesting the crops and selling those crops, enjoying the harvest.

Then there is a season where the dirt sits.

I didn’t understand or appreciate the season where the dirt sits. I pushed and pushed so that ministry was a constant pursuit of up and to the right.

This is true in the church, church planting, leadership, and relationships.

There is a season in a marriage where you are digging in, working on emotional health, navigating your family of origin stories, and trying to move forward. This is uncomfortable work, but necessary for a marriage to fully bloom.

In leadership, you must spend seasons working on your character, who you are, and who you are becoming so that when you get there, you have the integrity to sustain the work.

In a team, you must spend the seasons growing together, learning how to work together so that you can work together when the storms hit your group and organization.

We all love the planting season, the growing season, the watching new things take off, but for those to happen, we must have the seasons where the dirt rests. You, as a leader, must have the seasons where you rest, so you are prepared for the hard seasons ahead.

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Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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To accomplish anything in life, you need courage.

You need the courage to get out of bed each morning and face the day. It takes courage to tell a boss, co-worker, spouse or friend what you need or want. It takes courage to lead anything forward. It takes courage to parent. It takes courage to quit a job and leave security to chase a dream.

But courage is easily lost. And when it’s lost, we miss out on new things, great things.

In their excellent book The Practice of Adaptive Leadership, the authors list five things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead:

5 things that hold us back from having the courage to face the road ahead.

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1. Loyalties to people who may not believe you are doing the right thing. We often underestimate the power of people in our lives, especially people from our past. Teachers, parents, first bosses or coaches, guidance counselors, boyfriends, girlfriends; they all make an impact. They have said things that encouraged us and pushed us forward, but they have also said things that have cut us.

My guidance counselor in high school told me I wasn’t college material and I should give up that goal and get a job working with my hands. That has always rung in my head. I am constantly fighting the battle of feeling like I belong somewhere, or that I am smart enough to be sitting at a table.

Are the loyalties you have to people in your past holding you back in any way? Are there any messages ringing in your head that are keeping you from reaching for a dream?

2. Fear of incompetence. Nobody wants to look dumb, unprepared or not up to the task. Failure paralyzes so many of us.

The reality is, anything new will be a learning curve. Asking for help is difficult for many of us, but is the only way to new things.

If you knew all that you needed to know to reach that future goal or dream, you’d probably be there by now. But you aren’t.

If it’s helpful, make a list of things that you don’t know, do you know anyone who is an expert in those things? Podcasts you can listen to? Books or blogs you can read? Make an effort to grow and fight that fear of incompetence.

Now, this list will be helpful, make a list of things that could go wrong if you had the courage you needed. What is the worse thing that could happen? The irony of this list is that the worst thing that could happen is rarely horrible.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Life

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3. Uncertainty about taking the right path. Going closely with the fear of incompetence is the deciding on the right way forward. The reality of having courage is that you might take one step forward and three steps back, four steps to the right and then you’ll be on the right path.

That’s okay.

Your life isn’t over. And you aren’t too old to start over or brush off the dirt and move forward.

4. Fear of loss. The reality of anything new, any new dream or goal brings about change.

Change always involves a loss.

Sometimes that loss is good and dead weight that needs to let go of in your life, but often that loss will hurt.

If you’re a leader, you know that any change you make will bring loss because everyone won’t move forward with you. That is difficult for you and those around you.

Life and leadership are about learning to grieve the losses along the way so you can keep moving forward.

5. Not having the stomach for the hard parts of the journey. I once heard someone say that “everything great is uphill.” Probably both ways!

But it will be hard.

You will hit moments where your passion is gone, your energy is zapped, and you wonder if you can make it.

It is at this point that most people get off the dream train.

This is why I think it is so crucial for you to feel a sense of calling, purpose or meaning to what you are going after. Merely liking a challenge or thinking this is the next step for you will not get you through the hard parts.

Five Things That Destroy Your Courage in Leadership

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You will not experience all five of these today or maybe ever. There will be one that will keep you from reaching the peak of your life. It is important to know which one it is for you so you are able to see it coming a mile away and learn how to combat it.